Relationships, Sex and other Things That Mess Up Your Hair

[caleksa 48]

I am 1 week shy of the 2 year anniversary of my bypass and I'm gonna say yes to the increased libido. Day of surgery I was 317, I got down to 195 and held for 8 months. I am 41 and way passed the horny teenager stage of life, or so I thought. Those 8 months my sex drive just kept increasing and increasing. My husband, who I have been married to for 17 years, was beginning to struggle to keep up. I felt better physically and emotionally, I was a whole new person and we couldn't be happier.

As you can imagine or maybe have experienced, with a 127 lb weight loss comes a whole lot of extra skin. I was very self conscious but my new needs were stronger. As many of us do, I started looking and praying for the day I could see a plastics doc. A very long story goes along with that part of my journey but I sit here tonight 5 weeks post op from a major plastics surgery. I had what they call a circumferential body lift, basically a Tummy Tuck that covers my entire abdomen, down to my pubic line and 360 degree around. I look like someone cut me in half, pulled all the skin tight and sewed me back up. I also added some light Lipo under my bra line and chin. Before surgery my doc predicted he would remove between 5-7 lbs of skin and tissue. When I woke up he informed me it was actually 14.9 lbs. I am not one of those people who has bounced back and feel great. I have had zero complication (thank God) however the pain and discomfort have been off the charts for me. 5 weeks out I still have major swelling along my pubic line and my 2 remaining drain tubes are emptying between 70-90 ml of Fluid, daily, each. I did however wake up this morning weighing 178. With all this swelling and Fluid still draining, I think I will get down a few more lbs before I can start exercising again at 8-10 weeks post-op. So circle back to the original topic, my sex drive is now 0. I went from wanting to have sex twice a day for 8 months to 0 desire. Anybody been through this? I hope and I pray my body is too busy healing to be bothered by pesky hormones but everyday that I don't feel "it"I get more and more worried. My husband has been so supportive and understanding, he tells me everyday how amazing this change has been and how hot he finds my new shape (I think that makes it worse). I've got my weekly appointment with my surgeon on Wednesday, I am going to have to break down and ask him, fingers crossed it's all part of the process and I didn't make a big mistake choosing plastics.

Christy 

I've attached a side by side face shot of 1 week before bypass and 1 week ago and a silly selfie I took this morning.

[VLime 3]

These are my concerns i've been dealing with lately, and privately. I haven't spoken to my husband too much about some of these concerns because I need to work out where this fear is coming from to some degree or else i'll ramble.

I met my husband just over 4 1/2 years ago through friends, and our 4th wedding anniversary is September 3rd...it was a whirlwind, but we were truly transparent with each other from the beginning. It helped that i met him while visiting the friends in another state, so i went home after meeting him for 3 months before i moved back to New Mexico, where he was. I had lived there for years and spent a year home with family because of family problems, but i had always planned on returning to NM before he even came into the picture. After we met we spent 1.5 months across the country from each other only able to talk on the phone. We worked through it and i'm sure it gave us a strong foundation. Like some others have stated, he married me at a size 22, 280lbs. He's always dated bigger women, but his exwife fluctuated dramatically from thin to over 300 lbs. I am honestly not concerned about our relationship, we just spent the past 2 years dealing with serious PCOS issues, cancer scare and ultimately a hysterectomy in November. If our relationship easily made it through that, i'm actually not worried about us.

but the hair, and other cosmetic things...that's my fright. I really am no thinking about this vainly, but i do think that being smaller in general will help my self-esteem issues. hair is a REAL concern because when i hit puberty, almost all my hair fell out...it came back, but much thinner than it was before. I've learned to be ok with it actually, but i also know that it's fragile after a major event. I lost a lot of hair after the hysterectomy, and again, it came back, but silver this time.

Sex...well, i'm just hoping that my sex drive will increase again once the weight comes down. Just over 2 years ago I was playing roller derby, which is incredibly intense exercise when you are my size. I put on LOTS more muscle than i ever did before, and managed to get down to 260, and despite the bleeding issues listed above, we were still in the honeymoon phase. I had to have leg surgery a not long after i hit my peak in derby, and what was supposed to be simple surgery almost maimed me, like a freak string on complications hit and i was getting prepped for an amputation...Since then i've had sever mobility issues, my legs are heavily scarred, and though i still have hope i'll be able to play again, it's been a rough journey and that stole what little self-esteem i gained. So, we'll see how that goes when the time comes

[Folly 308]

I've been off this site for a while. Life got way busy. I have to comment on the hair loss. I started using rogaine for women the day I came home from surgery. I had great determination not to deal with that. My hair didn't fall out...until I figured I didn't need it anymore and stopped using it. I didn't go bald but it did get pretty thin. Here's the cool part. I always wanted curly hair. What fell out was straight, what grew back is thick and curly. I have no clue how to deal this kind of hair but it's at least entertaining.

It grows back. Don't worry :-)

[luv2plumb 315]

So I haven't read much of the comments , I'm going strictly from the title , I had said this before in a one of the other forums , but sex is at its best for me ! When I can get it lol ! I have lost around 125lbs and as you may or may not know but a man gets "larger" when he losses a lot of weight and that's a real confidence booster ! Plus you become a little more flexible and limber

Being heavy most of my life I was always the last guy to get any action. Lol. I haven't had any of the hair loss that I see people talk about , it's been about a year and a half since I have had my sleeve ,

And I've been working out almost everyday so lose skin hasn't been to bad I will attach a photo that I took last weekend when I was in Bermuda. There's some flab but it's only about an inch or two . I'll give it another six months and if it's still there I'll look in to having it removed I heard it's only like $20,000.00 for this procedure does anyone know ?

[luv2plumb 315]

Ok

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@luv2plumb - ask about cost in the plastics forum. You will get some great advice over there. I have about a year before a good surgeon will take me (two years stable weight is the standard). I will probably shop for a good surgeon in Mexico or Caribbean and make it a "vacation" but the thigh flab (skin) has got to go. Dude it flaps during sex, it's embarrassing.

[luv2plumb 315]

I hear ya , and thanks for the advice I love this site cause you can get the answers that you need here ,

[LessOfMe0503 157]

So I haven't read much of the comments , I'm going strictly from the title , I had said this before in a one of the other forums , but sex is at its best for me ! When I can get it lol ! I have lost around 125lbs and as you may or may not know but a man gets "larger" when he losses a lot of weight and that's a real confidence booster ! Plus you become a little more flexible and limber

Being heavy most of my life I was always the last guy to get any action. Lol. I haven't had any of the hair loss that I see people talk about , it's been about a year and a half since I have had my sleeve ,

And I've been working out almost everyday so lose skin hasn't been to bad I will attach a photo that I took last weekend when I was in Bermuda. There's some flab but it's only about an inch or two . I'll give it another six months and if it's still there I'll look in to having it removed I heard it's only like $20,000.00 for this procedure does anyone know ?

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1441282874.128578.jpg

Hot damn, you're gorgeous! Sorry, I just had to say it

I haven't noticed an increase in my libido *yet* but I hope I'm not still single when it happens. I met a man right before I had surgery... I was hopeful something would happen there but there's no spark.

[luv2plumb 315]

Oh my , that's very nice of you , and thank you for that I'm not used to hearing that , it's a real confidence booster, although I don't see it you made my night !!

[momma_missie 30]

I hope my sex drive comes back. I lost it about 2 years ago. I was sleeved 7/13 and am down 60 pounds and it still hasn't returned. I don't feel like I have an emotional connection with my husband, or anyone else for that matter. Just doesn't feel as if anyone can really relate to me right now. Emotionally this journey has been super tough.

[newlady2015 7]

How did you loose 60 pounds so quick