DONE with the comments!

[Quest4TheNewMe 225]

I know I should be proud of what I accomplished, but I'm SO tired of all of the comments!! I'm not a fan of being the center of attention. I even had one of our facilities guys comment today (his daughter is one of my employees)... Though, he also asked if me losing weight was a good thing. First person to take that angle. I'm down about 78 lbs, so it's definitely noticeable (to everyone else). I'm also now less than 20 lbs from my surgeon's goal.

We have a company party on Friday and there are a large number of people who work in a different building and they probably haven't seen me since about 50-60 lbs ago... I'm sure there will be LOTS of comments... And there will be alcohol involved, so I'm sure they'll be more free flowing.

I kind of wish people would just ignore it....

[maggie0210 117]

After all your success, people will notice. Just kindly tell them you prefer not to talk about it. And if anyone else says anything creepy to you, tell them to go away, maybe in a more colorful way! But you deserve compliments, you have done a lot of hard work!

[Quest4TheNewMe 225]

Just realized that I posted this in the bypass forum and I'm a sleever... Oops!

[MisforMimi 760]

It's all good. Everybody's going through the same stuff. :-)

[anaxila 501]

There's nothing you can do about comments from other people, especially if you are well-known at work and active in your community or circle of friends. You need to prepare yourself for how to deal with them, because they will come whether you're ready for them or not. And they will continue coming until after you've hit your goal and seen every person who knew you before WLS. That's probably a lot of people.

Many more people will be silently wondering than those who dare to ask. Take a cue from the person who asked if it was a good thing. People will worry if you have cancer or another life-threatening illness, as those can also cause dramatic weight loss; they will especially wonder if it's known that you were out of the office for undisclosed medical reasons.

You don't need to disclose exactly what you've done. Just smile and say it's very good news and the result of tremendous hard work and transformed habits. All of those statements are entirely truthful, and hopefully word will get around after that.

[esskay77 785]

I agree with the above comments. People ARE going to ask and many more people won't ask out loud but they will be wondering and possibly asking other people if they noticed, too.

The first thing they might wonder is if you are sick. You don't have to give details.

I don't give details to too many people. I did talk to my immediate group of people that I work with and sit near. Unfortunately, one of them told other people who then told other people. Sigh.

But, if someone were to ask if this were a good thing, I would just say, yes, it was the right thing for me to do.

Most people ask what it is that I'm doing (if they don't know about the surgery, and sometimes if they do know about the surgery because they really don't know how it works). I just tell them that there isn't just one thing that I"m doing. It's a combination of quite a few things, including exercising a lot and focusing on more Protein and less carbs. I don't feel the need to tell them that I had surgery necessarily. It really depends on who they are and why I think they are asking. One person had asked some vague questions and he is the only one I have felt bad about not telling because he is trying to lose weight and it may have helped him. I may still talk with him but not sure yet.

The worst part for me is when I haven't lost weight in a while and they all wondering if I'm still on track. I just say that I am, though I have had a few stalls. And that's it.

Luckily, most people aren't asking to be rude, they really care and want to know.

Anyway, I would suggest that you have some vague comments prepared so that you can smile and answer the barrage of questions without telling them details. If they ask how much weight you have lost, just say that you are "on track" (with a smile). If they press, then say that you don't feel comfortable talking about that. Unless you do, then go for it!

But, if you have some nice comments prepared, it takes the pressure off.

Best of luck. I think one of the hardest things about losing weight is becoming more the center of attention. It's really only because when we are at our heaviest, we try really hard to be invisible and that becomes our comfort zone. Being uncomfortable is growth in a good way. You are really just rejoining the community and it is weird to do that.

Enjoy your journey, enjoy people wanting to talk to you and taking an interest in you. It really is a good thing!

[Quest4TheNewMe 225]

I agree with the above comments. People ARE going to ask and many more people won't ask out loud but they will be wondering and possibly asking other people if they noticed, too.

The first thing they might wonder is if you are sick. You don't have to give details.

I don't give details to too many people. I did talk to my immediate group of people that I work with and sit near. Unfortunately, one of them told other people who then told other people. Sigh.

But, if someone were to ask if this were a good thing, I would just say, yes, it was the right thing for me to do.

Most people ask what it is that I'm doing (if they don't know about the surgery, and sometimes if they do know about the surgery because they really don't know how it works). I just tell them that there isn't just one thing that I"m doing. It's a combination of quite a few things, including exercising a lot and focusing on more Protein and less carbs. I don't feel the need to tell them that I had surgery necessarily. It really depends on who they are and why I think they are asking. One person had asked some vague questions and he is the only one I have felt bad about not telling because he is trying to lose weight and it may have helped him. I may still talk with him but not sure yet.

The worst part for me is when I haven't lost weight in a while and they all wondering if I'm still on track. I just say that I am, though I have had a few stalls. And that's it.

Luckily, most people aren't asking to be rude, they really care and want to know.

Anyway, I would suggest that you have some vague comments prepared so that you can smile and answer the barrage of questions without telling them details. If they ask how much weight you have lost, just say that you are "on track" (with a smile). If they press, then say that you don't feel comfortable talking about that. Unless you do, then go for it!

But, if you have some nice comments prepared, it takes the pressure off.

Best of luck. I think one of the hardest things about losing weight is becoming more the center of attention. It's really only because when we are at our heaviest, we try really hard to be invisible and that becomes our comfort zone. Being uncomfortable is growth in a good way. You are really just rejoining the community and it is weird to do that.

Enjoy your journey, enjoy people wanting to talk to you and taking an interest in you. It really is a good thing!

Oh, yes, I have the, "High Protein, low carb, low calorie, low surgar... I've been working with a dietician" response down to a science. By that point they start to glaze over. LOL! I've only had a few ask how much I've lost and only a couple I've actually told.

It's just annoying to have to go to the same canned response so often...

[Janice1968 92]

I can understand your point of view but did you really expect people not to question? Humans are curious creatures. Try and take it as a complement. Also there might be another lady out there needing that extra little motivation to get surgery. I hope your get together goes well.

[Forsythia 882]

You can't change how people react to you. But you can change how you react to the comments and attention. Try to think of it as people curious about your success. Just try to keep your answers impersonal. You are under no obligation to tell them you had a sleeve. Tell them you are doing a low carb high Protein diet and working out. This is not a lie. Wash rinse repeat as necessary. When you refuse to offer more details, they will move on to gossip about who the boss is having an inter office affair with.

[bellabloom 2,467]

I might be on my own here but personally I just drink up the comments like mothers milk!!! Keep me coming people tell me how good I look!!! It makes me feel so good after all I've struggled and so long feeling invisible to men and women.

I never felt overweight I always felt like the beauty I am inside so it hurt when people overlooked me! I love that they are giving me feedback on my progress now.

I know it can be hard to take attention if your shy and not used to it. I suggest just trying to own it and let yourself enjoy it- you deserve the compliments!!! People are mostly weight obsessed themselves so they want to know your secret. I just smile and say I know isn't it great!

I do feel a little bad when my overweight friends want to know my secret and I don't tell them. It's not as easy as diet and exercise of course. But I have decided to keep it private and everyone has to find their own path to health, we are entitled to privacy

[IronDruggist 136]

Not everyone has the gift of tact. Take it how you will, but I personally love the attention. It is a sign of a job well done in my opinion :-)

[lvan83 8]

I went ahead and announced it to a group of people at work that I feel comfortable talking to about me having the surgery. I mean I was going to be on LOA for 4wks anyways and I didn't want them to think I was sick....especially coming back and having lost 50lbs. That way I got rid of all the questions in advance and now I just have polite comments on my progress. I wasn't oblivious to how unhealthy my body was. I always felt beautiful and I'd still be fat if only diabetes wasn't in my future. I understand being a private person. But when people see others losing weight it inspires them to do better themselves. We live in an obese world. Inspiring others is wonderful. Nod your head and smile with a thank you. Just my opinion.

[annebqui 21]

Personally, I just decided to own it all. If someone asks, I tell them I had weight loss surgery. So far I've had really positive responses. People are interested, know someone who is thinking of it, have heard about it, etc. No one has told me anything negative, if they are thinking it they have kept it to themselves. But if they do, I will ignore it. I'm happy with my choices and weight loss.

This is just my own way of dealing with things, and I'm not saying everyone should do the same. You have to do what is best for you.

[viktoryalynne 28]

Say ~ Thank you & let it go!