I don't know whether to laugh or cry

[onikenbai 33]

So I've never really been a huge eater. Honestly. I do admit to a sweet tooth, but my personal hell is being forced to sit down to chicken wings with ranch dressing and a coke. Genetics is also not on my side an both my brother and I are quite large people. I've got pictures of my great Aunt Fanny in the midst of the depression and if she's not a solid 350lbs... Anyway, with 30 years of fibromyalgia, I had myself banded in 2009 at 311lbs at my doctor's suggestion to see if I could get some of my weight off, and to try to prevent more weight from accumulating. My body did not take to the band well. Either I had zero restriction or I had total restriction and I could barely even drink Water. Two solid years of Tomato Soup and beef broth as I was pushed to suck it up and "quit lying about what I could eat" by my band doctor. (no Protein Shakes for me as I'm allergic to them) Total weight loss in two years: 5lbs. Finally as half my hair was falling out and I was sick as a dog, I had no choice but to force them to empty out my band completely.

2011 I revised to an RNY by a doctor funded by the province (FYI the province isn't putting in bands anymore because of their dismal failure rate) and his words were "you can't fail to lose weight with an RNY". Well I did lose weight on the stupid pre-op diet. Now, I'm still allergic to the opti-fast so I did this insane version of an all-food diet that induces ketosis. I lost so much hair, I started walking into walls, and I may or may not have promised to foster a pink hippo, but it did the job for the surgery. After surgery though, no real weight loss ensued. Yes I followed the post-op diet, the nutrition plan, etc. I don't get as much exercise as I should, but when you're thinking of shopping for canes and collapsing on the floor when you get out of bed in the morning, it's a touch hard to meet that goal, but I'm doing my best. Again, the surgeon said I must not be telling the truth and I must be chowing down on high calorie foods or something because it's hard to eat around an RNY. They deemed me an RNY failure and I've been put in the provincial database as such (since the government paid for it, the government keeps stats on everybody).

A few weeks ago they decided to play with my fibromyalgia medications. They took me off a drug I've been on for the last 15 years. I lost 30lbs in 3 weeks. Yup, it's been the drugs all along. I lost my entire malabsorption window post-op, had to sit through years of disapproving lectures from doctors about my lying and cheating on my eating, and got the stink eye from my other WLS friends because they all agreed with the doctors that I could't get with the program and stick with the rules. Worst thing is that now I really do need canes and it's getting so hard to walk as my joints might as well be welded metal, and while I could have exercised away the weight in 2011, I'm not sure I can now. That makes me cry. The vindication makes me laugh. Sadly it's not continuing to come off that fast, but at least after 4 years, the stall is broken.

[lovebugg2013 34]

30lbs in 3 weeks even if it was delayed you are seeing results! You're so Not a failure

[Beni 1,484]

There are always new beginnings. Yes, it will be a little harder but it's nor over. It must feel wonderful to be vindicated. Use that power to help you. I assure you, once the weight comes off your joints will feel better. I used to go up the stairs one step at a time. One leg to first step then the other leg to the same first step and so forth. I also took two Aleve pills at least 5 times per week. 61 lbs later I can run up the steps. Yes, my knees still make sounds but they don't hurt anymore. There is hope.

[esskay77 785]

I am so happy that you finally know the cause of all this. But I feel for you that you had to endure so much. But, today is a new day. Enjoy the journey as you discover what is actually possible for you.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@onikenbai - When I went to my first WLS appointment I introduced myself to the nurse as May Cause. She looked confused since that was not the name on the chart. I asked her, "you know how on every prescription in the fine print it says 'may cause X,Y or Z in 1/10000 people? ' that's me, I'm *may cause*"

She laughed but she got the point. Part of what was so difficult about my chronic conditions it the meds that are commonly used to treat them would trigger my allergies. Long story short, I look up the side effects of every medication I am every prescribed. I am not trying to tell the doctors their job but I know for me that I have to be vigilant for the potential side effects.

As for what you are dealing with now. See if your doctor can prescribe aqua therapy for you. It's a gentler way to get you moving and may help alleviate some of the soreness in your joints and bones from the fribro.

[jennhatten 3]

I am so sorry that you have endured this. I understand the accusations and pointing fingers. Most doctors do not really listen to us. They make assumptions based on the "norm". My mother in the 80's had such a hard time with IBS that she mostly slept on the couch every afternoon and night. Her doctor put her on valium because it was "in her head". Now we know that IBS is real and has discovered food allergies contributing to it. Keep your head up. Research holistic ways to heal your body in addition to what the doctor is telling you. Don't give up!

[Stevehud 1,790]

the only failure is in giving up, and you sure dont sound like the giving up kind. Channel all that energy into keping your head up and I know you will see a positive result!

I'll tell you this 1 and a half years ago i weighed in at 408 pounds and at 5 foot 7 that is pretty big. i had shoulder surgery from literally sleeping on my shoulder with so much weight on it i crushed it. afterward I had Physical Therapy, I had to start many sessions with 15 minutes on an exercise bike. After those 15 minutes i thought i would die, literally they would come over to me and say " you need to sit down, heres some Water, and would take my blood pressure etc. Now just a short time later and down 70+ pounds including pre op diet, I had a selection of three canes to use due to bad back and knees , arthritis and general weight, I actually have a handicapped placard on my car, but now I am riding 30 minutes on the bike 5 times a wee, and while i feel it im not in severe pain or about to collapse. If you keep down this path I hope you will find that it will be possible for you to do so many things that you thought were out of your reach.

[hunneybee81 6]

How terribly frustrating thatust have been. How relieving it must have been to find the root of the problem. Exercising can prove challenging when your joints are taxed but find some low impact machines like ellipticals, and yoga for strength. Good luck!

[Stevehud 1,790]

just as an FYI valium for IBS is not a bad thing, in over 2/3 of cases of IBS the major component is psychological, i.e. stress and depression leading to irritable bowel syndrome. So valium to keep someone de stressed before the advent of the huge number of psychotropic drugs we now have is kind of understandable.

But such a horrible thing to endure.

My mother had several sections of bowel removed due to it.

Edited January 23, 2015 by Stevehud

[ChronicJam 40]

I am so glad to see your post. I also have Fibro, as well as several autoimmune diseases. I'm on so many flipping meds that I have to keep them on a spreadsheet. I know without a doubt most, if not all, of the meds have either put the weight on or made it dang near impossible to get off.

I was sleeved on 12/8 and am in the midst of a 5 week stall. I'm wondering if it's not the meds that are contributing to the slow loss. My goal with the sleeve was to eventually be able to wean off of some of the meds and hopefully be able to better cope with all of my symptoms.

May I ask which med you eliminated? The one that I suspect is giving me the most fits is Cymbalta. It is AWFUL to come off of. I've tried to twice and I just don't know if I could handle it a third time. But, if there's light at the end of the tunnel, I may have to just suck it up and try again to taper off it.

I wholeheartedly second the suggestion for aqua therapy. I can barely walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes, but I can walk laps in the pool for almost an hour. It's so much easier on the joints. I had knee surgery in July and it actually feels good to walk in the pool. Now trust me, I can totally relate with the pain of just getting out of bed in the morning. I get it. But the pool is the one place I feel I can truly move and not go into a crazy flare afterword.

Good luck to you! Keep up the good work!

[Puppypaws57 137]

I am so sorry you had to go thru this.

[blondebomb 580]

keep your chin up! you have proved them wrong! I have had fibro over 25 yrs, now finally dx with hashis, SLE an many others. I was perscribed sevella..started throwing up it messes with my insulin. cymbalta that stuff scared me after hearing all the issues of coming off it. I had a yrs script but never took it. I was lyrica..it helped but insulin issues. gained 40 pds in 3 months! I could not get it off! went off it! been there done that. BW came back with insulin resistance, thyroid was dying..hashis finally after 20 yrs I had an answer! armour thyroid went on right before surgery bc my thyroid had to be within normal to be released for surgery. it did! I no about chronic pain. I live with it daily. its getting under control better due to plaquinil but I also have turned to essential oils as topical oinments. I do use a muscle relaxer to sleep at night when I sleep better I dont hurt as bad but still in pain. I am 6 months post 95 down I still deal with polymyalgia an the other health diseases I take day at a time but I am very careful what I eat an I also do minimum exercise. I do some work around here after 15 20 min I have to sit for a while to reboot. I do this thru out the day. I understand. do what you can. enjoy the journey an dont compare yourself with others. even if you get out when weather is pretty an ealk around the yard or down the front of yourself an work your way up to longer walks use your muscles and you will feel better mentally an start to feel better physically. baby steps! hang in there! but these scripts are awful an work against the insulin an causes other issues. I hope you find something to help your pain. I did a drastic diet change 2 yrs ago..off all processed white stuff! all additives, preservatives...I did it an you can to. I got off of all modern grains. wheat, berry wheat..etc...no breads starches for me. no caffeine most of time. I do drink a cofee in the mornings or Im a bear! lol...you have to see what works for you...

[onikenbai 33]

Amitriptyline was the evil culprit. I never had trouble getting off Cymbalta as it might as well have been like tic tacs to me: completely ineffective. They thought it might have been because of the RNY so they specially compounded it into a liquid to make it hit the body faster and nope, still like it doesn't even exist to my body. The only problem with coming off the amitriptyline was that I was using it to sleep and the amount I slept dropped to 2hrs a night, and it was a lousy sleep at that. I might as well not have bothered to go to bed. With my Iron also bottoming out at the same time, I've had to stop working full time for a while until I'm safe. Not so cool for a single income. Now I'm on Gabapentin and the jury is still out on it as it's good for my sleep but has some side effects that I'm not liking a lot. I may stick with it though since my need for sleep may ultimately beat out the unfortunate side effects.

I used to do a lot of yoga but in my current state I can't. I might have another go when I get my Iron back up but I won't make it through class now. I have no idea what I did to them but about last January my knees went insane, and oh god they hurt so much. I'm hoping it has something to do with the iron and it's only temporary. The elliptical is WAY beyond my capability. Hugely beyond. Going up one or two stairs is a challenge at the moment so something that involves so much knee bending as an elliptical trainer? Yah, no way. Pools don't mix well with my skin because of the chorine so no aquafit. Sadly, my inside is very tolerant to things but my outside isn't. I can take some of the harshest drugs out there but one swipe of soap, detergent, chlorine, perfumes etc, and I'm a walking ball of red. I went to the mineral pools of the Blue Lagoon in Iceland and I'd be totally willing to do that on a regular basis if you all are willing to send me. They were awesome. Walking is really my best bet at the moment because I can still sort of do it even though I look like a tin man. I still have to do it for work anyway. After a while I do sort of loosen up a bit. On a really good day, I can go about 4km before I completely collapse. I can barely move the next day though, so quite a lot of planning is involved.

I actually found that my IBS improved quite a lot with my RNY. I would say it's at least 80 better. My mother is jealous.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

OMG ! Gabapaten almost killed me! It was just after I was recovering from the shingles and the neuralgia pain was so bad that my face literally just throbbed. Nothing worked so the doc prescribed the gabapaten. Worked beautifully for all of 5 days. Then I suddenly had my tongue swelling and my throat closing up. I ended up spending 10 hours in the ER getting IV benedryl treatments. I was uninsured at the time so I had paid out of pocket for those pills. $200 and I had taken 10 pills. The ER doctor wanted to admit me and I was in tears saying I couldn't afford to be admitted to the hospital. I was already drowning in debt from paying the specialist to treat my shingles. The kept me in the ER and wouldn't let me go home until my airway was clear and remained clear for 2 hours. The doctor told me NEVER, EVER take that med again.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Since you don't do well with chlorine have you tried a salt Water pool? If you have one available it might be worth a try.