Am I selfish for doing this?

[jillstl 55]

I am 41 years old. BMI of 49 and a weight loss failure. I have lost over a hundred pounds three times in my life and gained it back plus more through various diets. I always considered myself in fairly good health for being as large as I was... That is up until 2 years ago, when my joints started hurting terribly. Lower back pain, hip pain,shoulder pain... weak ankles and plantar fasciitis. I have been getting cortisone shots for almost 2 years. My husband is not supportive of weight loss surgery.. he thinks it's weak. Anyone else without a support system?

[bayla1212 5]

You poor girl!! I cant image not having any support during this time. Shame on him..iys never easy to lose weight...my BMI is the same as yours and i have also have did the whole loss weight then gain it back plus some for years..im 36 and have 4 kids. Im doing the sleeve on feb 4th for myself and my family. Im nervous but i need this change and the help of this surgery and i dont think it makes me a weak person because of this choice..if anything i feel brave that im taking this big step and you should too. I wish you luck and support..even if its through this site!

[SugarFreeMe 293]

At first I thought my husband was being un-supportive, then I figured out he was scared for me. I found that by talking about it and educating him it got easier for him. I'm now 10 months out and he's amazed. Keep sharing information, but don't stop - this is for you, your heath, your life, your kids.

[jillstl 55]

Thank you. I bet you're really anxious. I know I would be. I actually didn't know about the sleeve until the other day when I went to a seminar. I had researched weight loss surgery probably 10 years ago for about a year and then got discouraged when my insurance didn't cover it. Heck my insurance still doesn't cover weight loss surgery but I was able to draw a little bit of money out of my 401k... Not enough to pay for gastric bypass I would still have to finance a little bit unless I have it done in Mexico. I wish you success and happiness in the future with your sleeve. I truly know what this means.

[jillstl 55]

Words of wisdom...yes he is uninformed..that is his vantage point. He is just ex military and thinks everyone can be fit if they eat less and exercise. That is true...can't dispute that but some of us need extra tools in order to maintain or be successful.

[jillstl 55]

I will keep preaching...thanks!

[Beni 1,484]

Everyone is afraid of the unknown. I should have done this surgery 10 years ago but I was afraid. Lost 10 years and that's the truth. If I had known I would feel this amazing after losing 60 pounds I would have run to the doctor and begged for Bypass surgery.

With a BMI of 49, your life is on the line. Mine was too.

Just to give you an idea and these are the little things: I can run, cross my legs, run up the stairs, shop all day, sight see all day and those last are without sitting down breaks. Could I do any of this 4 months ago? NO. I also have no pre-diabetes or high blood pressure and my knees and back don't hurt all the time. I was afraid I couldn't take Aleve after surgery. But Hello, I don't need it. Miracles do happen. One is happening to me right now.

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@jillstl, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your support system. It could be that he is frightened for you.

I do know that most people who think that you can simply exercise and eat less to lose the weight do not understand or recognize that obesity is a disease. It is a disease that slowly kills.

As you have already experienced, you can lose the weight through less eating and excercise however you will be likely to gain it all back and then some making your situation even worse.

WEight loss surgery is a tool that requires an extreme amount of work on your end to be successful. There is a reason most insurance companies have a required supervised period before approval. It is to ensure that a potential patient gets educated and begins changing their lifestyle long before surgery happens. It is that lifestyle change that will ensure success long term. The surgery simply helps you acheive it by making your stomach smaller so you can handle it.

It is a lot of hard work, not the easy way out by any means.

It might help if you can get your husband to a seminar or to your bariatrician so he can better understand this disease. And ultimately the surgery itself.

I wish you the best of luck and please keep us posted.

[jillstl 55]

That is a great idea. I thought perhaps I could persuade him to sit through webinar initially just to give him some general information. He tends to not believe anything I say. If a "doctor" talked about how beneficial WLS could be, maybe I could get his buy-in. As I mentioned above...my insurance has a written exclusion for WLS. I had drawn $15,000 from my 401k last year to bury my mother. I was able to get $11,000 more toward this. He will not allow us to go into debt to come up with the rest in order to self pay. I have been researching Mexico. He freaked out when I mentioned it, though it is a center of excellence. He stopped listening when I said Mexico. I wish it were easier but the reality is that we sometimes have to endure a lot in order to reach our goals.

[lau4lau 7]

I am 41 years old. BMI of 49 and a weight loss failure. I have lost over a hundred pounds three times in my life and gained it back plus more through various diets. I always considered myself in fairly good health for being as large as I was... That is up until 2 years ago, when my joints started hurting terribly. Lower back pain, hip pain,shoulder pain... weak ankles and plantar fasciitis. I have been getting cortisone shots for almost 2 years. My husband is not supportive of weight loss surgery.. he thinks it's weak. Anyone else without a support system?

People sometimes have a hard time understanding how serious and big is the effort and compromise involved in having weight control surgery. But you are making a decision to better your life for good. Dont turn back!

[mal0712 101]

Lau4lau I once sat through a lecture by a bariatric surgeon who flat out said mental health, depression, and anxiety had nothing to do with obesity that it was strictly bad eating habits (?!?!?!?!?!) There are HUNDREDS of different research studies done that say otherwise. Now looking how uninformed a surgeon is, just imagine how uninformed the general public is!!! People see over weight people as lazy and gluttonous. They have no idea that it's a disease. It is an addiction. I posted about my breakthrough with my husband just this past weekend!!! It took me literally being fed up to the point I vented it all out.

[WendyMay 13]

Yeah, this surgery is HARDER than weight loss the regular way. You have to change your whole life! It is CERTAINLY NOT the easy way out. He is definitely misinformed.

Wendy

[Cupcake 801]

I'm sorry your husband does not support you but you have to be healthy for you as well as your family, I would take him to the se,one and all doctors appointment if possible then he would see. By no means is this the easy way out, this is a life style changed that is so well worth it because it changes the quality of your life . I am 8 months out and I am loving life you are so worth living for, I explained to my family when they were unsupportive at first how would they feel if I was no longer here oppose to me being here happy and healthy needless to say they got educated and they have become my biggest support system besides my husband and kids, and with the pounds falling off they see the results and how happy I am good luck. Please remember this is a choice that you need to make for yourself to be healthy first then your family good luck .

[drmeow 323]

I am so sorry you have so much to deal with on this. My husband would also say I'm doing this the easy way but I do not plan to tell him! LOL. I separated from him over a year ago b/c of longstanding problems in our marriage, one of them being that he was never supportive of my trying to lose weight. He's been thin all his life, ate whatever he wanted, and ran. He thinks that would work for anyone and thought I was lazy for not being able to lose weight. And when I did lose a significant amount, he not only ignored it, he made fun of my diet choices (low carb) and refused to do anything to help like not having sweets in the house. (btw, I am NOT suggesting your husband is like this at all)

Anyway, I know you said your insurance has an exclusion, but have you tried appealing that? Can you show them how much money they've spent on your health problems related to obesity, and point out how much more they are likely to spend in the future (even joint replacement surgery at some point) if you don't have this? With your BMI and other problems already it would be an automatic approval for most insurances.

If it is through your employer, possibly they have that exclusion to have a lower premium but you might be able to lobby them directly, pointing out how they probably cover things like treatment for smoking-related problems, as well as stop smoking programs, and smoking is definitely a lifestyle choice, not something that happens to a person without their doing it. Unlike obesity.

I wish you luck in achieving this!

[jillstl 55]

You poor girl!! I cant image not having any support during this time. Shame on him..iys never easy to lose weight...my BMI is the same as yours and i have also have did the whole loss weight then gain it back plus some for years..im 36 and have 4 kids. Im doing the sleeve on feb 4th for myself and my family. Im nervous but i need this change and the help of this surgery and i dont think it makes me a weak person because of this choice..if anything i feel brave that im taking this big step and you should too. I wish you luck and support..even if its through this site!

Two days girl! Will be thinking happy thoughts. Are you excited?