Having my doubts....3 months to go

[RobinL123 7]

Hi Folks,

I posted at this site originally in late October (at the beginning of my 6 month waiting period for insurance purposes). As I'm going through all the major hoops I have to jump through to get this surgery, I'm starting to have serious reservations. I spoke to my NUT yesterday and confessed that I quit smoking for 3 months then at the end of December beginning of January I started slowly again. I'm on the patch again today and know this will be a battle for me. I can't even be on the patch a month or 2 prior to surgery.

My other problem was that I gained 4 pounds in those 3 months I quit smoking and it's my impression that my team of experts expect me to behave as if I'm having the surgery next month. I'm not. According to them I should be eating several small meals a day. I work Sooooo much and have Sooooo many doctor appointments, I'm exhausted already. And don't have the time to focus on food continuously I could lie and tell them everything they want to hear, I get the impression they feel as if their doing you a favor by being ball busting big brothers. I feel my life is invaded by this team. I told the nutritionist that I might not be ready for surgery come Spring, I might need a few more months to get my mind wrapped around this and focused on living a completely different life.

Finally and most importantly once this is done, there's no turning back. I have stomach problems as it is, IBS, had Diverticulitus and had it surgically removed. If I fall into the 10% that has complications.....I'll hate myself forever for doing this to myself. I weigh 230 lbs and if I lose 100 lbs I'll probably look like a cancer patient. How does one prevent too much weight loss?

I'm struggling with this...any input would be appreciated.

With a 6 month prep period, when did you all start taking it serious and strictly change your habits?

Thanks

Robin

[blackonynx 27]

Hi Robin, I can totally empathize with you. I was banded for 5 years and had it removed 6 mos. ago. I couldn't decide on which surgery that I should convert to b/c I still have 60 lbs to lose to satisfy me and not more than that. Dr. said RNY b/c of diabetes and high blood pressure. I've always been soooo afraid to have RNY. I don't want to look sickly either and I told my Dr. that (no reply). I also told him that I was afraid to get too skinny and lose too much weight. I've gained 20 lbs back and now weigh 225 and I'm 5'2" tall. I 'm worn out from worrying about this procedure b/c i have to do all the pre-op test again and 1 month of liquids. Therefore, I have to lose even more weight before he will do it. My weight is unevenly distributed. I am waist & top heavy with thin legs and wrists, so even though I'm of an older age, i still care about my body image. I've dropped out of this several times and I feel like my Dr's office staff is sneakily watching me, or am I paranoid? Are they watching me due to my size, or do they look at me as being a nut case. I've decided to do it b/c I owe it to myself to try and get healthy. I also have diverticulitis. We can do this. Good Luck!

Edited January 21, 2015 by blackonynx

[RobinL123 7]

Hey Onyx,

You are not being paranoid, THEY ARE watching you. That's totally how I feel, I feel as if I have to constantly praise them for their invasive services and tell them exactly what they want to hear. Here's the real kick in the pants too, my nutritionist isn't exactly skinny minny either. She's a bit over weight, maybe not unhealthy, but far from a poster child. Shoot I hope they don't check out this site. The food police will send out drones...lol. I'm not all that paranoid, but don't kid yourself into thinking they aren't watching you like a hawk. What I need to learn is to not say anything if it isn't what they want to hear. Best to keep my big mouth shut!!!

Good luck to you and your journey

[RobinL123 7]

Folks,

I'm having a terrible time navigating from the topic I posted, to the replies i'm getting in my email. When I reply through email, it bounces back to me as undelivered. I can't find the replies from my original topic matter in here. So, I'm not being rude or ignorant, I just don't have this navigation thing down yet.

The person who just emailed me, why didn't I like the lap band. First off, I haven't had surgery yet, 2ndly my doctor won't do the band anymore because it has an unproven success rate.\

Robin

And the gal who mentioned putting weights in your bra for your first weigh in, is a genius Wish I thought of that.

Rockin Robin

[Shortierock 10]

I know I am right at the end, they just called yesterday for my surgery date. Last week I had a panic attack thinking im going to die during surgery .. and when placed out for family to hear.. They would be told she died because she wanted to lose weight and be healthy. then I was like what if I my husband doesnt like the lifestyle change in which I will not be able to do ":Shots, Shots, Shots !!!!!" Im like mmm so what im obese I wont go to jail !!

After about 3 hrs of talking with my husband, Sister and a family friend that is about 5 months out I am still sure that this is what I want. The lengths that I went through before with dieting. Could hurt my body !!

I do not smoke cigs but I know of people who have tried chanchex may not even be spelled right but see about using that they said it helped. My husband was just like you stopped smoking then started up again.. I support him quiting but do not fuss when he starts up again. I dont want to be that mean person in the crowd. and what I mean by that is the min you say im on a diet and you eat a burger.. you hear arent you dieting so I do not do that with him...Try to think about your mood when you want a cig. find a hobby cooking walking or go in the shower "hid" lol Wish you luck with everything. As I know I have a long transition ahead of me.

Edited January 21, 2015 by Shortierock

[RobinL123 7]

Hey Shortie,

How far along are you in the process? Do you have a surgery date? I can understand the freak out. I'm not worried about the surgery. I've had many invasive surgeries and the worst part of surgery is the recovery. Provided you don't drop dead from the surgery...lol. I laugh out of fear.

Living with the major changes afterwards and the possibility of a life time of discomfort is what spooks me. I pray to God I'm a success story, but there's no sure things in life except death and taxes.

[Shortierock 10]

Hey Robin,

My surgery date is Feb 17th I officially started like went to a seminar Jan or Feb 2014. I go next Wednesday to see my surgeon and start my preop diet.

[RobinL123 7]

Wow...you got in real quick, my insurance is making me run the gauntlet, which is both good and bad. Good because you can't claim you didn't know, I'm inundated with info, bad because where does one start in a six month process? I'm not going to diet for 6 months, If I stick to a April or May surgery date, February will be the time I start trying to switch to liquid diets and cut back or cut out alcohol consumption. Read more about the diet. I don't want it to be all consuming every day of my life. I want to live normally, but with a lot less food. Lose weight, get healthy, exercise more because I've lost some weight and my feet and knees don't hurt so much. But all that comes in time, not at the snap of a finger.

Robin

[Shortierock 10]

It did go pretty smoothly, It felt like forever but Im happy that part is done. I know what you mean the prepping for this is crazy. Exactly the good and bad. But I read alot about this I love exercising and cant wait to get back into it and see results breath better and all.

Cakes are my weakness sometimes, Not a chocolate person but liquor ... thats my right hand lady ... Ive cut back alot esp because I get heartburn grrrr.

[thin-for-kidney 21]

Just a word on the pre op diet, we have to do this mainly to shrink our liver. And if you have problems with your surgical team, maybe you need to find a new one. That is including the nut . I know for me, if I wasn't COMPLETELY comfortable/satisfied with my surgical team I wouldn't want them in charge of my body and/or my life. Also remember the reason WHY your having this surgery, there will be times where it gets rough, again remember after the surgery we are kinda relearning how to eat again for the better!! Just trust in God and yourself and you will make it!!