Can I do this?

nora33 · October 19, 2004

Hi!

I am so glad I found this site, I have been thinking about weight loss surgery for a long time, but I've never had the chance to speak with people who have had it done.

My name is Nora, I'm 33 and happily married. I have 2 boys, one is 21 months and the other is 6 months. I have been heavy all my life. It really became a problem when I hit middle school and the other kids started to notice I was way bigger than them, not just fatter, but also taller (I reached by current height of over 5'11" by the time I was 14). When the other kids started to tease me about being huge, I really took it to heart. In a way it was easier to think they didn't like me because of my weight, and not because they just didn't like me as a person. I started my first diet at the age of 12. I weighed 220 pounds, I lost the weight only to gain it back, plus more. It was the first of, many, many, many diets. By the time I graduated I was 240 pounds. by the time I was 25 I weighed 270. Weight loss surgery seemed like it might work, but I wanted to wait until after I had kids. I started looking into bypass, when my youngest was 2 months old, I was on the floor with him and I could not get back up, it was humilating to have to call for my husband to come downstairs to help me get off the floor. I looked into by pass but it was too risk for me, I thought there was no hope until I heard about Lap-band.

I have spent a lot of time researching, with only limited success, then thankfully I found this site.

Can lap band really work for me? I know that it is a tool in an overall change at how I look at food, life and myself. But how did you know you were ready for it? I do believe that it is right for me, but my husband feels it is to "extreme"... But I don't think I will ever be healthy unless I make extreme changes. Am I way off the mark? Can anyone offer some guidence? How did you know the lap band was for you, did your family support you? How drastic where the changes in your life (not just eating changes)? Would you do it again?

Thank you for giving me a forum to air my questions, and for taking the time to help... You all seem like a really great group of people.

-Thanks Again!

Nora

age 33

height 5'11"

weight about 280

1st appointment 11/2/04

claraluz · October 19, 2004

Hello and welcome! I'm sure each of us has our own unique story. Mine is pretty simple. I had been gaining weight gradually throughout my adult life. At times I dieted and was able to lose it all, only to gain it back double-time. I was always either on a diet or trying to get the motivation to start one. Then I discovered I have insulin resistance (pre-diabetes). I thought that would be all the motivation I would need. But after a year of trying, I still had not managed to stick to a diet for any length of time. That's when I decided to research weight-loss surgery. I read various boards and looked up medical articles for over a year. I decided to have the bypass. But when I was four days away from my surgery date, I became overwhelmed with fear about complications. That's when I decided to give the Lap-band a second look. I really did not consider it to be a risky choice because the surgery is very safe and because it is easily reversible (the band can be removed if there are complications). I'm happy with my choice. I've had my band for 14 months.

What has changed since my band: I'm a happier, more confident person. It's as simple and as miraculous as that! I like myself better and I am able to appreciate the strength and daring it took for me to make this decision. Having the surgery caused me to embark on a one-year psychotherapy course which has helped in my metamorphisis. The changes I've experienced have caused me to do a better job at work, to be more active, to be more assertive, to have more hope for the future, and to begin to make plans to get involved in even more challenging and rewarding ventures. And oh, by the way, I've lost 50 pounds and I've kept it off for many months!

What hasn't changed: I still wish I could lose more weight. I still have to struggle with myself on a daily basis in order to make healthier food choices and to stop using food for comfort. I often still feel guilty about eating and about my weight. I know I won't lose any more weight unless I can change this pattern. But I no longer feel hopeless about it. I know I will find a way to be successful. Because I still make poor food choices, my health hasn't improved as much as I wish it had. I still have insulin resistance and borderline-high cholesterol.

Only you can decide whether the band is right for you. I hope hearing our stories will help you do this. Good luck!

Nancy

Zoe · October 19, 2004

Welcome, Nora. I was about your size when I decided to get banded -- and I haven't even had my band for two months yet, so I'm a relative newcomer. What made me decide? The fact that I kept piling on weight and felt totally defeated about losing it. Every time I started a new diet -- and I've tried most of 'em -- a little voice would whisper, "Just remember, 95% of people who diet, fail. And gain back even more." I felt there was no point in trying, and that I might as well resign myself to being fat. I'd remind myself that lots of people were fatter than I, and would love to wear my size 24 jeans.

A couple of years ago I looked into gastric bypass surgery. I had a BMI (body mass index) of 39.5 then, and was told I wasn't fat enough! When I jokingly asked the doctor what would happen if I just gained enough weight to qualify, he just sighed and said, "You wouldn't be the first one." But in the end I lost my nerve; in my gut (no pun intended) I knew there had to be a better way.

My motto in life is "Change it or accept it" -- in other words, deal with what you're dealt and don't whine. I wasn't following my own advice regarding this huge life-long problem, though. As much as I tried to convince myself that I could accept myself as fat forever, in my heart I wanted to change. And in my 40s I started to have weight-related health issues that really got to me. When I was younger, no matter how heavy I was, my blood pressure was always textbook-perfect. The day I had a reading of 170/95 I knew I'd better do something, and pronto. Funny, I'd always been self-conscious about the way I looked, but it took something as scary as being told I was a heart attack waiting to happen to finally prod me into action.

I had read about the band three years ago when I first started researching bypass. At that time, the band had not yet been approved by the FDA. So, even though it sounded almost too good to be true, I didn't do anything back then, thinking I might be signing myself up for some quack remedy! Little did I know.

This summer I was feeling pretty desperate. I visited the same web site where I had learned about the band years ago, and went on a research spree. Finally I joined this wonderful board to learn first-hand what banding was all about. I got excited. I got hopeful. I got a home-equity loan.

So far, the best thing about my band is that it has given me hope again, and faith in myself. I KNOW I can lose the weight and keep it off this time. I can't fully express what a difference that makes, from the first moment I get up each morning.

Well, Nora, that's more than I really intended to write, and maybe too much information. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.

Alexandra · October 19, 2004

Hi Nora,

Your question is simple, but the answer is different for everyone. Your post really rang true for me, since our stories are very similar. I'm also tall, having reached my adult height at about 14 as well, and I've been over 200 lbs since age 10 or so. Through my 20s and 30s, I'd tried various things and finally learned to live and love myself as a big person. I'd never considered surgery even briefly, since all that was available to me was RNY and that was just too scary. I was healthy--just big!

Then at 36 I had my first child, and my second at 39. After my second was born my weight was about 340, and dropping slooooowwwwly. With an infant and a small child to protect, I knew something had to change. And then I discovered the band!!

From that moment I knew in my heart it was the right move. And though it took a lot of time and patience, it finally happened for me about 14 months ago.

Frankly, it was easy! Your husband may think of it as "drastic" but it really, really isn't. Even if the worst happens and you have to have it removed, you'll still be whole and functioning normally. Healthy! Of all the bandsters' stories I've read, I can't remember any where someone reports irreversible negative health effects. Even serious erosion situations can be resolved and your stomach returned to its normal working condition.

Bypass IS drastic. Even knowing how much faster I might be losing weight, I've never thought for one second that I made the wrong decision. With two small children I simply was not willing to take the chance of harm with the RNY--even a week in bed was unthinkable.

Like you, I was concerned about how my life might change. Would I "feel" banded? Would I be able to live normally? My husband was worried too. They love us and don't think of us as fat. But we know it's more than "fat" that we're fighting--it's SO important to get healthier for our children!!!

You'll find the answers to your questions by reading the various bandster stories here and elsewhere; ask whatever questions you need to and don't be intimidated. We were all where you are now and if there's any way our experiences can help you we want them to.

New Hope · October 20, 2004

Nora, only you can answer if the band is right for you. There is plenty of research, old posts, and bandsters that can answer most of your ?? Do your research and get your husband involved. The more informed both of you are, the better decisions you can make.

My only regret is I didn't get my band sooner. My husband had recently changed jobs, and I was fortunate to have health insurance covering this. I had high blood pressure, asthma, arthritis, gastric reflux, and a hiatal hernia (and that's not counting family history of colin cancer, heart attacks, and diabetes). I was wearing out fast and so depressed and unhappy w/myself. Since banding, my RXs are cut in half, health problems greatly reduced, and I have energy (for the first time in years)! I'm not sitting on the sidelines anymore, I'm out there enjoying life, and I love it!

nora33 · October 20, 2004

Thank you all for your kind words. My husband and I sat down and read thru the responses and we have both agreed that this is the tool I need to start living a new, better life. Thank you so much for taking the time and sharing your thoughts, opinions and stories. It means the world to me to know I'm not in this alone.

Thanks Again

-Nora

blossom · October 20, 2004

Nora, my DH was skeptical at first, too. But I sat him down and had him read the Inamed info and then read a few posts on this board and now he is convinced that it is the right thing for me to do! I can tell he is getting a bit nervous now that the surgery is approaching, though.

Zoe · October 20, 2004

Nora (and Blossom too), stick around and let us know if you have any questions. As you've already figured out, this board is a great place to get information and share stories. Don't forget to look at some of the older posts (beyond 45 days), where a lot of bandsters tell all about their experiences. Blossom, if your husband is nervous, maybe you should get some details about your surgeon's track record (number of operations, success rate, complications) so he'll have a concrete reference on the surgery.