Self Control ?

[B-52 7,113]

I started to type this in response to another post...Then stopped. I did not want that OP to feel I was criticizing her/him.

I read post here everyday from people seeking "Self Control" and "You can do it", etc, etc.

So I started this post, and this is in reference to ME, and MY experiences only! And also to the Lap band...don't know what other WLS's are like. Can only speak about myself and my Lap band.

You're looking for self control....?????

For myself, I have absolutely no self control...I could eat all day, non stop...an empty pit...

That is what made me "Morbidly Obese" and was affecting my health...killing me to be specific.

So, as a last resort, I had WLS, specifically Lap Band...

Through restriction (as people like to refer it to), that is where I found my self control...it's the band, not me...

I tried loosing weight over the past 30+ years, and failed miserably at every attempt. I had NO self control. If I did, I would not be Obese!!!

And I was not Obese, then I would not have needed WLS and I would not be sitting here typing this right now.

Last summer, I was feeling pretty good about myself, having been 100% successful for 3 years, and went in and asked to have 1/2 cc taken out.

Dr. and staff said I was doing excellent, why mess with something if it's not broken?

But they did it, because I asked them to...call it an experiment.

BIG MISTAKE! The self control I thought I had, disappeared !!!...I started to eat more, a lot more with less control...

It took that little to tip the cart...that perfect balance...the old ways began to swiftly come back....

I went back and had that 1/2 cc put back in ASAP! The people there had a good chuckle at my expense saying "I told you so"

So yes, call it an experiment, and now I am certain...IT IS The Band! and Not Me!

Without the band, I loose self control with food and eating....the band is where my control comes from.

There was a post, where the OP said they had good restriction, the band was working, yet they had no self control and could not stop eating........I'm sorry. But in my experience anyway, it can't go both ways...if you have no self control, then the band is not working...or you never had surgery....

Least that is the way it is for me.

Ever since then, when I read various posts about this and that problem, issue, I want to scream..."Why are you talking that way...., you did have WLS didn't you?"

Yet I read posts and the discussion could easily have been cut and pasted from any weight loss site, and not that where people had surgery....

It's early, maybe I'm being nit-pickey....but like I said n the beginning as a disclaimer, , this is how I feel about My surgery....this is why I had surgery....and that's my focus when I come to this site.....

WLS, specifically Lap band, has done for me what I could never have done on my own....

Edited January 20, 2015 by B-52

[Jersrose43 837]

I think you should give yourself a little more credit.

My sleeve doesn't stope from eating chips all day long. Or a full bag of popcorn at the movies.

There are things that we can eat that don't make us feel restriction but we choose not to eat them. Perhaps you haven't found those yet

I am a lot like you. I needed restriction. The permanent kind. I thought about the band for about a quick minute. I know myself and know that I would've failed at it. I needed more permanency.

[amponder 396]

I see your point, I think everyone comes to wls for different reasons, my particular problem is not in losing weight, I can lose weight but at some point in the process usually during a platuea I get bored, then I get upset watching people of a normal weight being able to eat whatever they want, and that's when I lose my resolve. I am actually hoping to get to a point in my restriction where the hard work I have already done is maintained by my band, I do want it to be there to remind me not to go back to my old self. I want my band to say "Hey stupid, not another bite, mind me now" lol but to get to this point I'm exercising self control til the band starts working for me, right now I am doing most of the work and the bi-weekly visits to my Dr. is what is keeping me accountable, cause he does expect me to try. Congratulations with your continued success I do look at you veterans and hope I get to where you are real soon.

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@B-52 I think you do have a point here. When you reach that green zone, or sweet spot or what have you with the band your right it does take the "thinking" out of it and gives you that sense of control and you eat only when hungry and you find that it's not as often or urgent as before.

@@Jersrose43 and @@amponder also make good points and that is that the band itself won't stop you from eating things like ice cream, chocolate or chips. That is something we have to control the choices of what we put in our mouths. For some that's not always the easiest thing to do. I know for me it's not, I wish the band could go around my head sometimes because I have to consciously stop myself from sabotage when things get sideways around me.

[Jim1967 3,569]

Head Hunger is the biggest bitch of all...Some of us are lucky where we get banded and for some strange reason the head hunger dissipates but for others no real change at all. My Wife (she is banded as well) and I are like that. My head hunger rarely raises it's ugly head but for my wife she battles with it often.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I won't argue with B-52's self analysis. But don't read what he said to mean that he doesn't work his tail off. He makes wise food choices (not eating garbage food) and he exercises every day while many of us (like me) are still in bed. He also resets his restriction every few weeks by voluntarily going on liquids briefly. He is a wise veteran who knows the band's limitations and how to make this lifestyle change stay successful for him.

Bravo, Sir. You're a motivation to many.

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@JustWatchMe I don't think we are trying to say he does/doesn't work his tail off. Just agreeing with him, and sharing our experience in stride.

I wish I could make my band fully control and erase my emotional head hunger.

@@Jim1967 you know my husband and I have the same exact experience! I struggle with making poor choices when stressed and emotional so much more often then hubby does! Of course when he points that out though I don't always like it much...even though he is right!

[amponder 396]

@@JustWatchMe oh absolutely he works hard I wasn't argueing with him, I actually want what he's got. @@Jim1967 I understand this head hunger right now because I'm just starting out, I've actually cried I wanted something so bad but knew that I had just eaten that I was not physically hungry I want that to go away so bad, I hope it gets easier. Sometimes I get so scared that I'm going to go back to my old ways cause I used to eat myself into discomfort, before the band I even had stomach issues and there was food that would hurt me before the band and I ate despite the pain so sometimes I'm really scared. People don't realize food really is a drug for some of us, I'm tearing up now just typing this. I want counseling but my insurance wont cover it for some reason.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I battle the head hunger a lot. Going through a stressful divorce and missing my kids away at college (one in Europe). But this counseling thing is amazing. I had a therapy session today. I cried and got some worries out and got some good advice and then came home for supper. I picked up my favorite takeout meal. Dug in and started eating. And then with about a third of the food left, I felt a stop signal and ... stopped. It was effortless. I actually tossed the rest away because I was so surprised that I stopped so easily. I was afraid if I put it in the fridge I'd pull it out later.

Point is, for me, my emotions are tied to my appetite more often than not. The miracle is that today I have a band that at least throws a stop signal out there for me. Prior to WLS I had no stop mechanism at all.

I still have to hear the stop signal and then obey it. Today I was able to do that and I think it's because I had just come from a therapy session that met my emotional needs.

So food didn't have to.

[briefs199 337]

I love this post because I have little self control and as a result I was morbidly obese (ok I am still technically morbidly obese but after losing 5lbs I will just be plain old "obese"). I know that I would NEVER have lost 50lbs without my band. Never. Yes I have to make good choices and I am a complete newbie at this but I know this for sure. So while I pat myself on the back for working the band, I know that without it I would never lose weight and I would be a miserable 300lb plus woman huffing and puffing.