im a loser really,ilure..hate myself

[elirules 1]

had lap band six yrs ago and lost 45 the first year but gained jalf back. havent seen the dr in yrs due to embaeaasment etc. i was 329 now im 302. wtf. dont be me please. you must have support system around u. spouse friends etc. do it for the right reasons. yourself. im so disgusted ẃveryday. helpless. could i go to a new doctor for a fill aand checkup??? idk. so depressed it hurts...

[elirules 1]

no fill in 3_4 years.

[Sharpie 3,306]

you should definitely go back to your Dr . Don't worry about being embarrassed. There are no perfect patients, I am sure he/she won't be too critical . It's better for you to get back on track and decide that you deserve success. sounds like you are your own worst critic, and I hope you will see that you are worthy of success. Take Care and keep us posted.

[punkinvine 227]

Look.... you have the new tool! Just use it! It's ok to go forward. Hugs and happy you are admitting you struggled. I have too, but get back up and GOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Never ever ever give up on yourself. Yes. See a new doc and start fresh. Your life is worth saving!!! Use this board as support. Good luck!

[TheProfessor 378]

I agree with everything that has been said here so far - no one is the perfect patient. (Well, maybe this elusive unicorn is out there, but fear not, sister - you are in good, imperfect company!)

I agree with other folks that have said that this weight gain is not really an embarrassment, so much as a hiccup. You absolutely DESERVE to get back on track. You are worth it, right? RIGHT. :-)

The best thing to conquer the disgust you feel with yourself and your depression is to get out of the pattern of having no control over your band, and get some professional help! If your Doc or surgeon is not available, find someone who is. Make some calls, get on the web, do some research... the moment you begin to take this matter into your own hands, the faster a solution will present itself and the better you will be able to sleep at night.

We are cheering you on!

Keep us posted...!

[Elizabeth68 25]

I read a great blog piece on the app from my gym today (yes, I actually go to the gym now!) about how weight loss is one of the only areas where we don't accept mistakes. At work, we make mistakes, we learn, we correct them and we move on. In relationships, we have a fight, we work it out and then we move on. We never expect perfection, but we do for weight loss. Its like we fall short of our goals and automatically label ourselves a failure instead of working it out and moving on.

I think the fact that you wrote your post today is testament to the fact that you want to work it out and move forward. To that I say go for it! schedule an appointment with your doctor and don't worry about his/her reaction. I'm certain he or she will be happier to see you there to try again than for you to feel too embarrassed to restart.

Good luck! You can do this!

[Puppypaws57 137]

{{{HUGS}}}

Depression is a bitch!