help! so nervous! advice?

[xmaleengyx 25]

so I am supposed to set my date tomorrow and I feel more confused now that it's so close and real. I just turned 26. Im 5"3 and 235 pounds.i have been up and down the scale all my life. just two years ago i weighed 278 pounds. when I look at pictures I think to myself,"and i thought i looked fat then" lol because I would love to be that weight now. I am concerned because I suffer from anxiety.I go back and forth trying to decide if I can do the surgery or not. I'm scared I'll try to run at the last second. hospitals and needles give me major anxiety. Also, I'm terrified of the pain and how long it will take me to recover. I'm also nervous about being on liquids for 7 weeks straight I don't know if my body can handle the shock. I also feel unsure if I am strong emotionally enough to handle everything that comes along with pre-op and the responsibility to maintain nourishment. this might sound crazy but saying goodbye to food forever makes me feel as if my best friend is about to die and I will never see them again lol. that thought alone has proven to me that I definitely have an unhealthy relationship with food is that I NEED to do this. I want to be healthy and be able to enjoy my life pain free and when the time comes I want to be an active mom. more than anything I'm just scared surgery and recovering correctly.

Did anybody feel this way before they got to sleeve?? any advice? Reassurances? or words of encouragement

[xmaleengyx 25]

I meant 178lbs!!

[Elode 8,093]

I think most everybody feel some part of that. I was unsure/Nervous up until they knocked me out. I kept telling my husband "they won't care if I leave, I'm sure it happens all the time" "we should just go" I am incredibly thankful everyday that I went through With it! I'm still new-ish 10weeks but in that short amount of time I have lost 40 lbs, went from a size 18 to 12/14. I have no hunger (best thing ever!) my life no longer Revolves around food. I don't wake up every morning "ready to start a new diet" and I don't go to sleep at night feeling like I "failed another diet attempt" it was such a vicious cycle that I am extremely happy to be rid of!! I know it's scary but the benefits are so much more Awesome! Now, I didn't have any post op issues, I had a decent recovery and I'm blessed to not have the hunger (as of yet) every one is different so keep that in mind. I wouldn't change it for anything! I wish you all the best!

Edited January 15, 2015 by Elode

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

It's perfectly normal to be a little nervous. However if you really know in your heart of hearts this is the only way then take the plunge. The post-op dieting, especially in those early days is not fun, but is completely doable. Pain is not a guarantee. I had NONE. You will be able to eat your favorite foods again, you'll just eat them in smaller portions. Best of all you'll get the chance to live a healthier life. I honestly wish I had done this 10 years ago.

Edited January 18, 2015 by BLERDgirl

[GingerDiane 34]

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[xmaleengyx 25]

@@Elode

Thank you for your reply. I feel like that is going to be me in the hospital lol. Also, I too aam tired of the vicious cycle. My whole life has been a diet.I just wish they would let me take my anxiety pills before arriving at the hospital.

[Tori Loukas 52]

Omg, I felt the way you feel, exactly. I flip-flopped on getting the Gastric Bypass for SEVEN YEARS. I was afraid of everything about it, and so doubted whether or not it was the right choice for me. At one point, I dropped out of my pre-op program for two years, thinking, "I can do this myself"---well, I ended up gaining even more weight to get to my highest weight of 373 pounds. Then, my insurance (Medicare) finally approved the Sleeve last year and it seemed like a better fit for me, so I started looking into having surgery again. My surgeon then informed me that his surgery of choice for me was the Sleeve. I still didn't seem to be able to commit to losing the 40 pounds they wanted me to lose beforehand. Also, my surgeon told me I had to quit smoking and stay quitted for a full year before he would operate on me. Then somehow it all clicked into place. I quit smoking for that year and am still quitted. After years of waffling, one day at the doc's office his nurse told me if I could lose 15 pounds in 5 weeks they could finally schedule me. So I got on it and ended up losing 27 pounds. I ate lean Protein and veggies and salads, Lean Cuisines, lots of green tea. And I found that by cutting out all those unhealthy carbs I was eating I was rid of cravings for them---at LAST.

So ---I got my date and went for it. I had my Sleeve on September 9th of 2014. I've lost 66 pounds since then, am just over 4 months out. It was a little tough in the beginning but totally doable. I had no pain. I was only in hospital for a day. Everything went well for me. Then, I did everything they told me to do and it worked. I am SO glad I finally did it. It was all the garbage in my head that prevented me from going forward, until I got sick of my own stuff and just went past it. I suffer from depression and have to take plenty of meds too. That didn't affect anything about the surgery.

The surgery not only is shrinking me down physically, it has made me a better person now that I'm not preoccupied with food. I used and abused food---and for all the wrong reasons. Today all those issues are totally gone, and I'm living my life the way it is meant to be lived. I wish I had done this sooner, but I don't regret the past and all my waffling. For some reason, I think I had to go through that to finally be ready. Everyone is different and has their own path.

Please don't hesitate. It'll be the best thing you've ever done for yourself. Good Luck!

[xmaleengyx 25]

@@BLERDgirl

Thank you for the insight. Im glad to hear you can still eat and drink what you want but in smaller portions. I'm totally fine with being able to do that from time to time on those special occasions.I was worried that I'd never be able to enjoy a birthday party or the holidays or any special event ever again. Or that id make other people uncomfortable for not being able to participate or join them. The pre op nutrition class left me weary. The nutritionist said for the rest of my life I can only eat food that is cut into pencil eraser top sizes and chew each tiny piece 30-40 times before swallowing...I mean what's the point? Might as well opt for a liquid feeding tube. It sounded exhausting to always eat this way and that it would take hours to finish one meal. Also, I was disappointed when the nutritionist told me I could never eat certain foods again.

Also, im in 4 weddings this year in which I am maid if honor for 2, which has me stressed. my window for the preop 2week liquid and surgery recovery is small. the doctor has told me I cannot drink alcohol for a year which concerns me when it comes to not missing out on bachelorette parties they are once in a life time experiences. I feel as if I will be ruining my sisters and best friends experience bc we won't be able to make the traditional memories they are expecting. To have my surgery I will have to sacrifice a lot for my health,but I feel my health should come first. It's just that all these scenarios and dilemmas are weighing heavy on my heart.I think it would be more important to my sister that i look good for her wedding standing next to her than making bachelorette and bridal shower memories.

Thank you all for your responses!! I felt alone. I think my biggest fear is the surgery in general. I just need to be strong and work hard to keep my nerves aND anxiety in check.I'm 26 but hospitals and needles make me a 2year old baby crying for my mom....it's always a scene getting blood drawn and my edoscopy done and it's ALWAYS embarrassing! Lol.

Last question, do they make you use a catheter? Because If so, I honestly don't think I could go through with it. My dear and anxiety couldn't handle that violating and painful situation.

[Tori Loukas 52]

The hospital did put a catheter in me. It was inserted in my vee for urine output---once I was peeing on my own the next morning they took it out. I don't know what your hospital's protocol is regarding that. I'd say don't be afraid---I never even felt it and it was inserted while I was still out under anesthesia before they took me out of post-op recovery and to my room. It was absolutely no problem at all for me.

As for your events--my advice is to just go and enjoy yourself. Alcohol and food aren't what make a good time. Sure, they contribute to the fun, but you can have plenty of fun without them, they're not necessary. I'm willing to bet too that your friends and family will accommodate you with whatever you have to do for the sake of your health and what you're trying to do. Just tell them, explain it to them. They'll understand. I don't think it'll ruin anyone's time! They'll just appreciate the fact that you are there celebrating with them. Drinking alcohol does not make memories---it's YOU that make memories. How do I know? I'm a recovering alcoholic for 21 years and have gone to many important events and not drank and no problem for anyone!

[Tori Loukas 52]

Oh, I forgot. I am already taking bigger bites than a pencil eraser! Also, I chew 30 times for chicken and turkey and you'll learn you don't have to chew that much for veggies, for example. I don't. I eat yogurt pretty fast. I can drink liquids pretty fast. And, the liquid part of the diet for me was only or 4 weeks. I take generally 15-20 minutes to eat a meal now. Everyone progresses differently. Try not to worry about things that probably will never happen----that's what I learned from all this. EVERYTHING I worried about did NOT come true! I do know it's normal though---everybody has fear of the unknown to varying degrees.

Now I am at the point where there are NO restrictions on what I can eat---it's entirely up to ME to choose healthy, low fat, non-sugary foods, and I do. I want to be a normal weight, healthy person free of food addiction. I have to keep my eyes on the prize and live and eat accordingly. I also have to watch how much of anything I eat, and how fast.

You'll do GREAT, please don't worry so much.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@BLERDgirl

Thank you for the insight. Im glad to hear you can still eat and drink what you want but in smaller portions. I'm totally fine with being able to do that from time to time on those special occasions.I was worried that I'd never be able to enjoy a birthday party or the holidays or any special event ever again. Or that id make other people uncomfortable for not being able to participate or join them. The pre op nutrition class left me weary. The nutritionist said for the rest of my life I can only eat food that is cut into pencil eraser top sizes and chew each tiny piece 30-40 times before swallowing...I mean what's the point? Might as well opt for a liquid feeding tube. It sounded exhausting to always eat this way and that it would take hours to finish one meal. Also, I was disappointed when the nutritionist told me I could never eat certain foods again.

Also, im in 4 weddings this year in which I am maid if honor for 2, which has me stressed. my window for the preop 2week liquid and surgery recovery is small. the doctor has told me I cannot drink alcohol for a year which concerns me when it comes to not missing out on bachelorette parties they are once in a life time experiences. I feel as if I will be ruining my sisters and best friends experience bc we won't be able to make the traditional memories they are expecting. To have my surgery I will have to sacrifice a lot for my health,but I feel my health should come first. It's just that all these scenarios and dilemmas are weighing heavy on my heart.I think it would be more important to my sister that i look good for her wedding standing next to her than making bachelorette and bridal shower memories.

Thank you all for your responses!! I felt alone. I think my biggest fear is the surgery in general. I just need to be strong and work hard to keep my nerves aND anxiety in check.I'm 26 but hospitals and needles make me a 2year old baby crying for my mom....it's always a scene getting blood drawn and my edoscopy done and it's ALWAYS embarrassing! Lol.

Last question, do they make you use a catheter? Because If so, I honestly don't think I could go through with it. My dear and anxiety couldn't handle that violating and painful situation.

Let me clarify. You will eventually eat everything you used to but that will be a ways off. Those first few months you will indeed need to take very tiny bits and eat super slow. You are removing 85% of your stomach. There is no longer any room for guzzling and stuffing junk down there. I have been fortunate because I am careful to take my time, but many posters experience discomfort from not eating slowly. My advice is to down load the Eat Slower app and practice eating slowly now. Another change is you can no longer eat and drink together. My doctor advises a 30 minute window before and after eating.. Some doctor's recommend an hour. The reason are many. 1) Because you have a much smaller space, you do not want it filled with liquids and then not have room for food and nourishment. 2.) Drinking can push the food through too quickly and again your body will not have had time to digest and absorb nourishment. 3.) The food and drink can form a paste and feel stuck in your esophagus. Initially it will take you an hour or more to eat ¼ - ½ cup of food.

Certain foods you may not be able to tolerate anymore. Soda and carbonated drinks are out for life. They produce too much gas in the belly and you no longer have any room for that gas. Keep in mind Champagne is a carbonated drink. Foods high in sugar may also make you sick. I think you can enjoy the Bacholerette festivities just find, you just can't get s**t faced. Get a glass of Water, toss some cherries in it and fake it.

I didn't have a catheter, but some doctors do use them. They typically put it once you are under. The easiest trick I have for getting needles is to force your self to relax. Practice slow, steady breathing. Have the nurse count to 3 and instead of tensing up slowly exhale as she inserts it. It helps to relax the muscles and makes it easier to go through.

A lot of this experience will depend on your attitude. If you stay positive you've won half the battle. You are creating a new normal. You are committing yourself to a new lifestyle of eating and drinking for a healthier you. If you aren't ready to commit to change, you may want to rethink things. I would also recommend starting an exercise program now. I have a really high BMI. However I was active and taking Water aerobics 3 times a week. I had no pain in the hospital. I walked in recovery and didn't need to use a morphine pump for pain or take any narcotics for pain. I experienced no gas, nausea, dizziness or Constipation. The worse thing about my surgical experience was a rash I developed from the tape used to hold the IV on my PICC line in because I am allergic to latex.

[xmaleengyx 25]

Thank you. Your words have helped tremendously. I do feel a lot better and more excited for my new healthy life than scared. I used to be a health freak but like most people I've read here,its just been temporary phases in my life. I finally found my soul mate 2 years ago and we've become so comfortable with each other that I have just let myself go. I am at the heaviest I've ever been at 235 and I do not recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I want to take my life back and finally reach my goals and be pain free.I am tired of the 1 step forward, 2 steps back....I want to finally reach the light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you again for your advice and knowledge

[MisforMimi 760]

xmaleengyx, sometimes I worry about people being nervous about upcoming stressful events they want to trim down for. I would say to refocus your thoughts on being well. This decision is for you. I'm sure your friends would rather see you healthier and thinner rather than unhealthy, fat, inebriated for the sake of "having fun." There will be other parties and so many other things to Celebrate in this life. You are relatively young and if you can't envision a life with alcohol as the focal point of a party or celebration (for life) maybe talking more time to think isn't a bad idea.