Can you see your body the way others do?

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I'm sure I'm not the only one but I'm struggling to my impression of my own body. I hit goal about 8 weeks ago. Now, when I go in stores to try on clothes, I always pick sizes too big first. I just can't believe the numbers or sizes on the tags. When I look at myself in a mirror, I guess I basically see my shape but I still feel like I'm big or fat. I have people tell me that I'm so slender and I have people tell me I shouldn't lose more weight. I'm not interested in losing more because I'm happy with the numbers and measurements I have but it's just hard for me to reconcile those numbers and sizes with how my brain perceives me.

My friends have a hard time understanding when I try to tell them... they just say "you look great!" My boyfriend tells me I'm "hot" and I smile and say thank you but in my head I'm like "He's crazy and just being nice".

Has anyone had a similar problem and have any advice? I'm thinking of trying to find a counselor who maybe specializes in food disorders to talk to. But I would like recommendations of maybe books others hae found help with.

Thanks in advance for any help.

[maggie0210 117]

Gingersnaps,

I find myself looking at extra large clothes. I am now a size 6 but feel like I need the extra room for the skin. I still see myself as overweight in the mirror. But I look too thin when dressed. All these bones I haven't seen in years. I was wondering if anyone else felt this way. By the way, you look fabulous in your picture.

[jessb418 42]

I definitely feel this way. I even try to compare pics but it's like my head can't computer. To me I don't Look much different even tho I've finally hit onederland. I just can't wrap my head around my new look. I haven't even bought new clothes yet but have to roll my pants and look ridiculous. Wonder when our head catches up to our body.

[mrslb5 333]

I have to take pictures and look back at them when I look in the mirror I see myself 9-10 months ago so I use pictures to see how far I've come.

[Mbstas 57]

I think this is perfectly normal. I am 9 months post op and also need pictures to confirm to myself that I am at a normal weight. I don't see this as a problem. If I was still seeing a fat person in the pictures still, then I would think that would be reason for concern.

[wcdaniels 48]

I'm not at goal yet, but I've been struggling with this lately. I've been getting a ton of complements, but it's hard to accept. I can actually shop at normal stores now, going from a 4x shirt to a 1x, and from a 48 waist down to 38. But these clothes I put on everyday seem so tiny.

[Trace Lynne 95]

To answer the question, no, I don't see myself the way others do. I've lost 105 lbs as of this week, which is almost half-way to my goal weight. I find myself struggling with the change in a couple of ways:

1. As far as clothing, I'm wearing size XL in workout clothing, size 14/16 in dress shirts, and size 18/20 in dress pants. These sizes all seem a bit small to me. Some mornings I go to put the work clothing on, I am not convinced they will fit. However, they do, and it still surprises me. Also, I'm reluctant to go out an purchase lots of new clothing while I'm still working towards my goal. I only have a couple items at the new sizes. I still have work shirts that I wear in the 24, 26, 28, and 3X sizes. They look baggy on me, but I have spent so much money on working out, the medical stuff, and nutritional supplements that I can't bring myself to renew my wardrobe every 20-30lbs.
2. My trainer came up to me in class last week and complimented me. He said, hey there, skinny girl! My instant response was: "Haha, funny. You know I still have a lot of weight to lose." --- Thinking back on that, I really shouldn't down play the progress I've made, despite not being at my goal. When I walked into his gym, I was 350+ lbs, and needing to lose 35 lbs more in the 6 weeks before the surgery, per my surgeon's request. When I walked in, I was exhausted after 30 minutes of training with him. Now I will work through an hour of crossfit or kettlebell class, then go and ask for more (envisioning the scene from Oliver Twist, "please, sir, I want some more"). Last saturday I did 1 hour of kettlebell class then an hour of Zumba. I'm working out almost every day for at least 45 mins to 1 hour.

Ever since I lost about 60-70 lbs, my family has been complimenting me on my efforts. It is nice to not be harassed about being overweight by them, since they can see progress (they still are unaware of my surgery). However, I still get negative comments from strangers on the street when I'm out walking my dog, which has led to me only wanting to go out walking after dark.

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

Thanks guys... I knew I wasn't alone. I've learned to smile and say "Thank you!" when people compliment me even if my head is saying "No, you're wrong... I'm fat". I read somewhere that it is like a slap to people if they give you a compliment and you talk back instead of just accepting it.

I am wearing size 4 jeans and when I hold them up and look at them I think "There's no way I'll fit into those" and then I pull them on and they fit and I can still breathe. Something about the eye-brain connection is just off. And I focus on my tummy -- right above the belly button. Always have, especially when it was gianormous. Now, I look and see a little bulge sticking out there (which includes loose skin) and it just looks fat!

I think when we lose weight so fast it takes a while for the brain to register but I just don't want to obsess over these negative feelings I have when I look at my body. I've tried googling to see if there are some exercises (not exercising but active steps you can take) to help reconcile your brain with your body but I'm not having much luck.

But it does help to know I'm not alone.

And, when people tell me I look fantastic, my new response is "Thanks! I FEEL fantastic!"

[Elisha1015 13]

I am 2 months out and down 50 pounds but i dont feel like it. I still feel very heavy and fat. I have not gone shopping for clothes yet as I need to lose more. My goal is 145 pounds (or a size 8). I am currently 194. I think it is an adjustment for all of our brains and emotions we have to work through.

[erp 2,016]

The guys said no, it's ok.

[erp 2,016]

Oops. Wrong post sorry

[Cilia 5]

I feel that way. I've seen all my lumps, bumps, and rolls. Even though I lost 50 lbs I have a long way to go. But it bought just a few things that fit and it feels good to wear them.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Such tremendous successes in this thread. Kudos to all of you. Body perception is a real issue with WLS patients. We're losing the equivalent of whole persons.

Suggestions.

Tape an old fat full body picture on your mirror or inside your closet where you will see it each day. Every two weeks pull out that cell phone and do a selfie. Full body. hair done, makeup on, form fitting clothes. Print it out, even on crappy computer paper. You're the only one looking at it anyway. Tape it next to the old photo. Do this every two weeks with a fresh new picture. Look at yourself, your whole clothed body, the way others do. Set a cell phone calendar reminder to "update your sensational selfie".

I lost weight in 1988. 130 pounds over 18 months. No cell phones then. The only way to do a selfie was to go to Woolworth's photo booth. I did this every couple of months and put the head shots in a little album. I found that album this summer. Omg. I vividly remember staring at those photos each time, trying to see what others saw. It helped. It really did.

Then I met my husband, got married at 156 pounds, gained 11 on my honeymoon and another 150 on top of that over the next 23 years. But that's another story. Lol.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

And shop at Goodwill while you're losing. Cheap and enjoyable.

[fedup08 22]

I think it just takes much longer for your brain to adjust to the new you. Positive self talk (as silly as that sounds) will help too.