I failed myself yet again...

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I hope this works for you. Fingers crossed.

[LisaGB 29]

You need to make your choice, the one that feels right. In making my decision, I found that researchers have determined that for those who are obese, the risk of mortality is higher without WLS than having WLS.

Keep working toward your dreams!

[xmaleengyx 25]

Thank you all on your responses regarding my anxiety. I am in Dr. GARTH Davis' office right now. This is the last time I'll see him until surgery February 2nd. I am still very anxious but I have an appointment with the hospital the 29th to register and I'll have to talk to them about it then. I start my liquid prep tomorrow which I'm nervous about...it's going to be difficult...but it needs to be done.

Also, has anyone had experience with a significant other being unsupportive? My bf scared something bad is going to happen to me and that I shouldnt risk my life when I can just stop bring "lazy". He says he believes I can do it on my own. But he doesn't get it...

I can lose weight. I have a million times but I gain it back twice as much. It's always one step forward and 2 steps back. I'm tired of the circle. I need this tool to help me be successful

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@xmaleengyx - It makes me sad to see people calling WLS "lazy" it's not. I am literally working my butt off to make this work. As far as considering this to be a "dangerous surgery, it really isn't. Co-morbs are just as if not more dangerous.

[xmaleengyx 25]

It frustrates me. It's hard to defend it. His other argument is, if I'm going to have to diet and exercise and change my life after the surgery, then what's the point? Whhy nothe do that now without surgery??

I could only express to him that I need the permanent restriction to help me.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Why bother?

You aren't doing this for him, you are doing this for you. You aren't married so really, you owe him nothing. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Hell, I've been married for 20 years HAPPILY and never once did I give more than a passing rip about my husband's concerns.

It's my opinion (and you know what they say about those) that you (general, not YOU) will not fail unless you give up. Well, I figured I was either going to die of an eventual heart attack or diabetes if I didn't lose the weight (no co-morbidities when I had surgery) or I was going to FIGHT my weight WITH surgery. Not having it *****FOR ME****** was giving up.

I spent too many years yo yo dieting which is horrible on your heart. I spent too much money on WWs and diet books and pills and exercise equipment. I spent too much time hating myself for getting so DAMN fat. I hated clothes, I hated shopping, I hated running into people I knew way back when.

Life is too short to be the way I was when there was a solution I knew I could win with. That's just me, though.

[xmaleengyx 25]

I feel the way you described in your last 2 paragraphs. In regards to my bf, he just doesn't understand why surgery is necessary. I do want to marry him soon but I want to be a fit mom...I want to be able to keep up with a child's energy. I just need to stay positive and focused.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@xmaleengyx - Don't argue. You can agree to disagree. WLS surgery is not about dieting. it's about adopting a healthier lifestyle. The surgery is merely the starting point in changing your relationship with food. Sometime when we have unsupportive people in our lives the best we can do is simply not discuss this with them. I don't mean withhold information, rather limit what you share with him. Keep it to basic facts. Your surgery date, your dietary needs and restrictions and important post op information. You cannot change anyone's mind.

[xmaleengyx 25]

Agreed

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I feel the way you described in your last 2 paragraphs. In regards to my bf, he just doesn't understand why surgery is necessary. I do want to marry him soon but I want to be a fit mom...I want to be able to keep up with a child's energy. I just need to stay positive and focused.

Why does he need to?

This is about YOU, not him.

[xmaleengyx 25]

I just met with my surgeon and I feel so much better. Most of my worries and anxieties have been calmed. I wish my boyfriend could have gone so he would be less worried about me. Talking to the man who I'm trusting with my life really helps. He's never had a patient die and promises I'll be fine. I think that's all my bf needs to hear. I know it's about me, but if he was having a surgery, I naturally would also be worried.

I was disappointed to hear that my surgeon does use a catheter :/ I am not looking forward to that.

[samuelsmom 670]

@xmaleemgyx

Good Luck! It's been 2 months and I can honestly say, it was the easiest surgery I've ever had. About the catheter, see if you can negotiate. Catheter use was once standard, however, it is becoming used less. If the surgeon knows it's important to you, maybe you can go without.

[JerseyJules 862]

I could only express to him that I need the permanent restriction to help me.

This was my attitude going into the process, this is where I failed myself. Since not getting the surgery I have realized it was not and is not the restriction that will help me in my particular situation. It was the AMOUNT of and TYPES of calories I was consuming, not the volume like most. No amount of restriction in the world will stop me from eating sugar laden foods and getting right back in trouble.

I have realized my stomach may want food in it, and my mind may be telling me to eat, but here is the the thing I realized. My stomach is stupid, it want to be filled with food but doesn't know the difference in the types of foods I have been filling it with. I have been eating Protein and veggies, salads, all clean non processed foods and have eliminated all caffeine, sugars and starches..I have been eating 1200-1500 calories day of pure goodness and have been dropping weight at a pretty good rate. Since eliminating sugar and caffeine, I found my cravings have gone almost totally away..

Im eating good and feel totally nourished, have energy and my inflammation has gone away, I feel great... I was not doing any of this for a long time leading up to my surgery date, and sitting there waiting on the surgeon I realized I was not complying and probably would have a really hard transition after the surgery. So for me the point of having a permanent surgery when I had not changed my lifestyle permanently or at least made an attempt to..

Lifestyle change is the key, all the surgery in the world wont fix your mind and that is where it all starts. may I revisit the idea of surgery down the road, possibly. But at that point I will be ready for the change.

[kimmeesue 41]

3 weeks ago today, I made one of the most important changes in my life. I needed the restriction of the surgery. Whether it was my brain for my body craving food it was a lifelong battle that I had been losing. Having just consumed approximately 2 tablespoons as one of my miracle concoctions(I have gotten pretty creative) I could not even think about another bite. There was the time not too long ago where I could be this full and still stuff few more bites have something I liked. Now, neither my brain nor my body feel hungry. I have to remind myself to eat. Who is this person? I'm still figuring that out, but I think I like her.

[JerseyJules 862]

There was the time not too long ago where I could be this full and still stuff few more bites have something I liked. Now, neither my brain nor my body feel hungry.

This is exactly what I would do. I would be full in my gut, but my head would tell me to eat because it's what Im supposed to be doing, or what I was used to doing. As human beings we are creatures of habit it's just the way we are. I sat back back and looked at my routine/ritual of brewing a cup of coffee after dinner every night and sitting back with a sugar laden double portion of my favorite garbage, because "hey, there's always room for dessert right"?? And then looked at the fact that about 2 hours later I was eating a huge bowl of my favorite Cereal, frosted mini shredded wheats, with a big handful of raisins while watching TV, I realized 2 things...

First- this right here is adding about 1000-1500 sugar laden calories to my day at the absolute worst possible time of the day to eat and

Second- I was not even hungry when I was doing this, hell 90% of the time I was full and just eating to eat out of habit.

I know now that my issue is 100% in my head and not a physical issue and until I conquer the mental aspect of it, no amount of surgery in the world will prevent me from attempting bad habits all over again down the road. I am in therapy trying to discover why I eat that way and what it means to me...

There may have been a partial addiction caused by the added sugars I was eating, but the beginning of it all was 100% mental and the sugar just caused a physical reaction to my mental eating.

I applaud everyone and anyone who has had the courage to do WLS and succeed, its a big choice to make and definitely a life altering experience. I will never use the term "the easy way out" cause having sat there ready to do it, it is the exact opposite of the easy way out. It actually was the hardest decision I have ever had to make and I am 100% happy that i backed out and didnt do it right now, because if and when I do decide to do it down the road, I will have at least explored ALL my options for sure and realized that it is definitely the only choice and the right choice for me at that time. Bottom line is, I wasnt ready and to tell you the truth, I dont know if I ever will be ready.