And this is why I WALK ALONE!

[amponder 396]

I hate to get on here and vent but my mother in law drove me banonkers (bananna + bonkers) today, She invites me to walk with her down at the AG center, there are 2 trails there one goes 2miles around then there is a smaller trail that goes around some woods for about a mile around, now this is where I got my start, walking I told her about this trail, but since I have a treadmill I left off walking there when it turned off cold. Anyhow my mother in law is a ver fit person she walks on her own property behind her house up a logging trail 4 miles mostly uphill and a lot of it is steep, the AG center is mostly flat ground. Her and three other ladies have recently been walking down there every Sunday 4 miles, and asked me if I wanted to come. Immediatley she starts calling attention to how slow I am, 1st words out of her mouth were "Your going to have a hard time catching up." Then she turns and says she just can't walk at such a slow pace and is going to go on, I tell her to go ahead, she says "You see Angel we are going to walk ALL the way around" I understand that I told her just go on, but she's making wide circles like I have no idea what I'm in for. They go on ahead of me but I kept them in sight most of the walk. I walked three miles in all I went back to the car and found 10 dollars in the field on my way back, I was just really upset with how impatient she was being. To top it all off she gets back to the car and says pretty good for a beginner. grrrr.

[S(he) be(lie)ve(d) 151]

I'm sorry you have to deal with comments like that from her. That is awful! Over the years, I have learned that I need to depend on myself for getting my exercise in for the day. I used to workout with friends. Then eventually, excuses seem to rule the workout time for everyone. So, now, I have my own time that I workout with my music. Nothing interrupts me and there are no excuses and no comments from the peanut gallery. Keep going! You can do it! You are doing amazing!

Go with what you are comfortable with and avoid the peanut gallery's unwanted comments.

[ProjectMe 909]

Sorry, but I love her spirit & spunk. I always joke with my kids that when I'm sixty I'll still out walk, out ski, and out hike them. It's actually my goal in life to be an ornery yet loving senior citizen who doesn't take any crap fom the younger generation. Not that you were giving her any reason to be ornery towards you...giving the youngin' of the group grief probably makes her happy.

Edited January 12, 2015 by ProjectMe

[amponder 396]

@@ProjectMe She's older than me at 56 but I'm 38 the other 2 gals were my age, she wasn't given the youngin grief she was giving her least favortie DIL grief and found a way to humiliate me in front of other people.

[ProjectMe 909]

@@ProjectMe She's older than me at 56 but I'm 38 the other 2 gals were my age, she wasn't given the youngin grief she was giving her least favortie DIL grief and found a way to humiliate me in front of other people.

I just didn't get that when I read your post. Seems like there's background to the relationship since you feel so strongly. I'm not making excuses for her snide comments, but, my husband and I get very annoyed when we walk/hike and the person with us is much slower. Instead of enjoying our walk our minds are stuck on, will the person be okay on their own, will they get lost, etc.

I'm such a competitive person in general, if I were you, I'd increase the intensity of my own walking regime and kick her butt the next time we walked together...that'll quiet her.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

To top it all off she gets back to the car and says pretty good for a beginner. grrrr.

Gut reaction: "Yeah, I'm a beginner all right - I've only been walking for 38 years now. But hey, I'm proud of my amateur status, it means I can still compete in the Olympics."

But then again, I'm a smartass.

[blondiebabs 214]

It sounds like typical dramatic parent in law BS. When I was married my MIL was always nice to me, but the father in law not so much, always trying to be backhanded about things and treated me like I wasn't good enough for his son. And the mother of the man I lived with for 2 years ALWAYS treated me like how you described in your story. It didn't matter what it was about, the house wasn't clean enough even if it was spotless, I shouldn't be taking naps, my bra let my boobs bounce too much...sometimes it was ridiculous. Nothing I did was good enough. Not all inlaws are like that, but I just learned with the two negative ones I've experience to just write it off as they have a grudge in their own mind towards me for no reason and there's nothing I can do about it, and just learned to ignore their crap, granted I'd get plenty p.o.'d from time to time but I'd never let them see it bothered me. haha

[amponder 396]

@@ProjectMe well the trail is a big circle and like I said not my 1st time there everyone has a different pace, if you invite someone of a different fitness level to walk with you it is nicer if you can be patient with them, either walk with them or by all means don't make fun of them the whole way.

[amponder 396]

, if I were you, I'd increase the intensity of my own walking regime and kick her butt the next time we walked together...that'll quiet her.

LOL I don't think that's possible but I will try. She is spunky.

[Elode 8,093]

Awe! The good: you made it!! The bad: you had to deal with BS. The moral: never walk in public with an a** because there's no good place to hide the body ! Ha!

[ProjectMe 909]

@@ProjectMe well the trail is a big circle and like I said not my 1st time there everyone has a different pace, if you invite someone of a different fitness level to walk with you it is nicer if you can be patient with them, either walk with them or by all means don't make fun of them the whole way.

I see what you are saying, but also keep in mind that she did invite you...that's something at least. I like to give folks the benefit of the doubt and hope she is not the kind of person to invite you just to give you a hard time.

My husband and I don't invite folks to walk/hike with us unless we know they can keep up. One of the reasons we like to walk alone. Sounds mean but it really makes me feel a lot of anxiety and worry for the person.

So how do you feel about increasing your tempo and creating a secret workout schedule where you walk at that park, till you can keep up with their pace ? Can't change people...but we can change ourselves.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@amponder - Yup, kick her to the curb. You don't need her harshing your buzz as you do you workout. You workout at YOUR pace. It's fine to work to increase you pace, but you do so at your pace, not MIL's dictates.

Edited January 12, 2015 by BLERDgirl

[BitterSweet* 835]

I decline all invites to workout with others. I'd much rather be alone with my own thoughts, competing against my last performance, and jamming to some music.

I get super annoyed when people interrupt my time on the track. If you want to invite me to your church, leave a church flyer or card on my car. If you're trying to "holla", keep it moving; I'm not interested in your tips - that's what my trainer is for. Booty watch from a distance like the rest of the weirdos.

[anaxila 501]

@@amponder, I am not a violent person, but I would have been sorely tempted to punch your MIL in the face. I couldn't handle snide, b*tchy, and condescending all in one neat little package. And it's nice she had you there so she could show off her superior fitness to her friends. I think you showed remarkable restraint.

[James Marusek 5,244]

Hill walking is a lot different that walking on a level surface. It uses different sets of muscles. One set when you are going uphill and another set when you are going down. It might take a week or two to build up your stamina but it is a good workout. I walk up and down my driveway which is on a hill. When I walk on a flat area such as a mall, I find that it seems like I am actually floating.