Accountability Group

[s_suther 446]

@@JustWatchMe - 3am?!? I sure hope you can go to bed early tonight. Hang in there today, I hope the headache stays away.

@@2babutterfly - I'm totally jealous you guys are getting away this weekend. Our little one is talking about spending the night with a friend Saturday, so we may get a much-needed date night.

All is well here. I've got three days under my belt and my personal challenge of 7 in a row is keeping me on track. My plan for today:

B-8 oz shake w/fiber

L-greek yogurt w/fiber & 2 tbl granola

S-P3 turkey w/almonds

D-rosemary lemon chicken

S-8 oz shake w/fiber

787c, 89p, 28nc

72 oz Water & 45 minutes of cardio

Talk to me about your choice of Protein shake...I'd like to hear what you drink and the nutritional info on it. I currently use Syntrax Matrix Milk Chocolate- 120 calories, 3 carbs (1 Fiber & 2 sugars), 23 Proteins and Syntrax Matrix Mint Cookie - 110 calories, 6 carbs (0 Fiber, 2 sugars), 23 Proteins. I like that brand because it has no aspertame and I can order it reasonably online. I'm pondering trying the Quest powder. Anybody use it?

I'll post later to confirm that I stuck to the plan. Have a wonderful day, my friends. Take care of you.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I love unjury chocolate. I think you can only get it online.

I forgot to say that I've started a new habit and I'm hoping it will help move the scale down. I'm slowing my bites a lot. It's really out of necessity because with this latest fill I get stuck very easily. If I chew well and slowly I don't. So that thing about putting your fork down between bites -- I'm practicing that at every meal.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Ok, big leap into accountability for me today. Ready?

Hotshot here got on the scale after a couple of weeks. Easter, my daughter home, my birthday, blah blah blah. I'm up to 205.6 this morning. That's 11 pounds higher than my lowest weight so far.

I know exactly why I've gained. It's cocktails and wine. Wine is pure sugar and as a BONUS (!) it leads to eating carby yummy foods without inhibition.

No matter how many stairs I do, or how many miles I walk on my lunch hour, I've managed to gain instead of lose. Even with this latest tight fill that really is noticeable. This latest fill is probably perfect. I can eat CORRECTLY successfully. If I eat too fast or too big of bites, I get stuck immediately. No GERD, no other problems. It's probably exactly where the band was intended to be, restriction-wise.

So. I am NOT beating myself up over this. But I want to share my feelings about it, so here goes.

I'm sad and angry that I have to give up alcohol if I want to lose weight. I enjoy the buzz. It's been my treat when everything around me has been stressful. I have a glass of wine or two at home and mellow out. On weekends I go out with my girlfriends and let my hair down.

But it's not working for me. It's too many calories and it makes me not care about the food I'm putting in my mouth. I also frequently sip my wine while I eat when in a restaurant, which is a big band no no. Why? Because I'm relaxed and I don't care.

Problem is, I do care.

Another reason it's got to go instead of cut back is that I am a food addict. I already go to two 12-step programs, OA and CoDA. I don't have time in my week for a third. And I know me. It can get to that very quickly.

When I was 28 I joined OA. A couple of months into abstinence from overeating, I had this same epiphany. I had to give up alcohol in order to keep my food abstinence. It was briefly hard. I was in my twenties and loving life as my body went from obesity to normal size. I didn't know how to socialize without that lubricant. But I gave it up. I gave it up for over 10 years.

I'm going out tonight with my best friend and another friend. We go out and we drink and we bitch about our exes and we listen to bands and we eat and we laugh and we drink some more. Tonight I go out with them. Tonight I won't drink.

My bestie knows my life history. She was my friend before and during and after my teetotaling days. I'll explain my decision to her and I'll probably have a feisty conversation about it, but ultimately she will be okay with it.

I'll be okay too. The problem is I'm sad. I didn't want to have to go back to being a non drinker. I didn't want to live without a buzz.

But my goals are bigger than that buzz today. I want to achieve my normal weight once and for all.

It also puts into stark relief how I desperately need to find healthy daily ways to comfort myself. Without food, without drugs, without alcohol. This is serious stuff for an addict to tackle.

I've been dealing with my nosy non drinker mother making judgmental comments about the wine bottles in her pantry. At least this will solve that problem.

I know some of you may understand this. Not all of you will. When I gave up alcohol at age 28 it really was a non event. After the first few weeks, I didn't miss it much because I was on a weight losing high. I dropped 130 pounds in two years after that. But I picked up a spending problem on the way. I bought clothes I couldn't afford. Pick your poison, huh?

I'm operating in "keep me teachable" mode these days. When all else fails, follow directions. My directions today are no booze, eat Protein slowly, up the exercise. I've upped the exercise successfully over the last month. That's a big plus. I've slowed my eating and focus on Protein at my meals. That's working well. Now goodbye to the booze.

Goodbye, booze. It was sure fun while it lasted. But you bit me in my skinny ass. You're outta here.

I can't update my ticker from my cell phone and I won't log into the PC site from work. But my weight today is 205.6. I'll update the ticker from home when I can log in from a laptop.

No Merlot is going to cost me my hard-won Onederland. Or keep me from getting to my goal weight.

Thanks for listening.

[s_suther 446]

@@JustWatchMe - Wow, what a post. "Without food, without drugs, without alcohol. This is serious stuff for an addict to tackle." YES!! While it's not alcohol for me, it is certainly food and could have been written about my relationship with it. I could have easily slipped into a relationship with the other two, I steered away out of fear of addiction. Just know that you are NOT alone. Thank you for putting it all out there, it took courage and strength, both traits I admire in you.

I made yesterday's goals, including exercise. Not my favorite thing, but I got it done. Can you feel me rolling my eyes?

Today:

B - 8 oz shake w/fiber

L - Quest bar

S - 8 oz shake w/fiber

D - homemade pizza (making my own crust and sauce to control portions & ingredients!!)

813c, 88p, 38nc

72 oz Water & 1 hour of exercise

I've already conquered a 30 minute Jessica Smith video and plan to walk the hood with the husband this evening. I'll check back later. Take care of you.

[ElectricBoogaloo 337]

Thanks for sharing, @@JustWatchMe! I have never been a drinker; my poison: carbs. I thought I would be one of the 'lucky' ones who could not tolerate eating bread, rice, Pasta, potatoes, PIZZA!!. But alas, I am not. I can eat anything (including chicken) and unfortunately I know this because I have tried them all with great success! UGH! pizza is my downfall (oh and pastries). I am back to abstinence.

As previously mentioned, I also signed up for a boot camp that began this past Monday. It is kicking my butt literally and figuratively! I am enjoying it and dying at the same time.

B- shake

S- greek yogurt

L- tuna salad

D- ?

Congrats on getting it done, Shannon!

Have a great day!

Edited April 17, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[punkinvine 227]

Back in the saddle again....

B rice krispies and almond milk

L gluten free spag with meat sauce

D Fish/cheese lettuce

S cashews... 2 T.

84 oz H20

Having an herb tea... well maybe a 2 oz wine. Family is as complex as ever but improving... God is Good and the daffodils are spectacular along with the flowering cherry and pear trees.

Chasing an almost 2 year old out of EVERYTHING for the last 7 days..... not sure it counts as exercise but I sure am pooped!

Shannon do you think you might consider building a home? It was a good fit for us long ago.

Bfly have fun with the Hubs and don't drink anything that will get stuck in your band.

LOL!

Just watch me.... Envy here Neil Diamond is a girl's Best Friend!

LOO kick boxing sounds great... little ole lady here so maybe I would just box! LOL

Crissy... good to hear you again.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Glad to be here with all of you.

Last night was a big success. I was the DD for my pals and drank one glass of cranberry juice and about ten glasses of Water all night. food was planned and moderate. The band we saw was quite good. Today I have a birthday outing to a restaurant/winery with another dear friend, planned weeks ago. She will understand and I'll just have tea. Her 20 year old son is going through alcohol detox right now. No explanations will be necessary.

After I posted here about this, I had an incredible feeling of lightness the rest of my day. It was like, OK. A decision was made. By me, nobody else. I'm taking charge of my life. This is good.

And it is. I'm not stressing over the weight gain. It will come off, sooner rather than later.

I logged in MyFitnessPal yesterday and I may do that again for a while. Get a reality check.

Busy weekend for me with food and social events. Birthday outing at lunch. Movie night with my bestie. No crapcorn. Tomorrow a couple I became friends with this year is taking me out for lunch for my birthday.

It's all good.

[s_suther 446]

HELLO!!! I've been MIA over the weekend and looks like many others have too. While I wasn't posting here, I was busy enjoying my family and even a date night last night. I stayed totally OP over the whole weekend, the first in quite a while. I posted my challenge on Monday for seven straight OP days and I did it!

I've got meals planned out for the week and groceries in the house, so I've got myself set up for another great seven days!

@justwachme - hope your busy weekend was wonderful. Sounds like a lot of fun stuff!!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Hello my peeps! I had a great weekend filled with lots of people. I went to my CODA meeting today and talked about giving up alcohol. My head is in a very good place today.

I've been more mindful about slowing down my chewing. This has resulted in better satiety and an easier time stopping when satisfied, instead of when the plate's clean.

I won't get a lunch break tomorrow at all. So I'll bring chicken salad to work.

My body feels better today. Lighter and cleaner.

[2babutterfly 483]

I'm back from a weekend away! Wonderful time in the texas hill country. The wild flowers were gorgeous! Did not stay on plan ????....so back on track today!

B-greek yogurt

L-chicken salad &scarcer so

S-almonds

D- pork chop, and eggplant?? Never eaten or cooked one...ideas? I'll be on Pinterest today!

Waterwaterwater.

[s_suther 446]

Gooooooood Morning!!!

It's gonna be a great Monday! I just completed a 30 minute butt-kicking. I'm glad it's finished and I'll look forward to a walk around the hood tonight with my husband.

I've got meals planned and prepped for today. My plan is:

B - 8 oz shake w/fiber

L - greek yogurt w/fiber & granola

S - 8 oz shake w/fiber

D - cola chicken (easy, low carb /calorie) & Atkins bar

774c, 104p, 33nc

72 oz Water & 75 minutes exercise

@@2babutterfly - glad your weekend was wonderful! Our little one spent the night with a friend on Saturday, so we ended up with a date night. It was great!

@@JustWatchMe - I'm tickled to read that your body feels better today. How cool is that?!?

@@ElectricBoogaloo - hope you are rocking the plan!

@@punkinvine - hope you had a relaxing, drama-free weekend.

@@bacon - where you be???

@@enjoythetime - missing you around here!

Off to get my chores done. After working outside the home for the last 17 years, this staying at home gig is pretty cool! I do miss teaching, some days, but am so thankful to be at home during this season of life.

Please pray for my Granny today as pallative care begins. I hope it brings some calmness for my mom (who is rocked to the core right now) and peace and comfort for my Granny. Thank you! <3

I'll check back later. Have a swell day and take care of you.

Edited April 20, 2015 by s_suther

[bacon 514]

Hey friends. I been disconnected for a bit. I am finding it tough to gain focus. I realize the last thing I need is to distance myself from support. I need a good old-fashioned beat down.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

@bacon. The only beat down you're going to get here is for wanting a beat down. You need a lift up.

So here it is. You, my friend, are the man who inspired me to start walking. I now routinely walk over two miles on my lunch hour, several days a week.

If I can get my rear out of my chair and start loving walking, you can be lifted out of your slump.

Stay connected here. We need you. On your good days and your bad days.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I straightened out my food and gave up alcohol this weekend. Weighed myself today and up another pound and a half. After the disbelief passed, I realized that:

1: I forgot to take my blood pressure pill yesterday. It has a pretty strong diuretic in it.

2: I ate kalamata olives, pickles and giardiniera with my lunch and leftovers for dinner yesterday. Not a lot, but HELLO SODIUM?

When I couldn't get my rings off or on without soaping them up yesterday and today, it should have triggered this realization.

Anyway, I'm staying the course and staying low sodium for a few days as well.

I really want to feel strong and confident next week when I have to face the NSETBEx in court for the first time since I left him last year. I've been no contact for nine months and I'm nervous.

[s_suther 446]

@@bacon - can't beat you up, but can try to encourage. Can u give us a plan for TODAY? One day, today, let's do it!

@@JustWatchMe - we grilled buffalo wings on Saturday & my rings are still tight. I'm gonna up my Water a little. Kudos for realizing what it is & not letting it define your day.