Accountability Group

[enjoythetime 1,457]

Oh yeah @@s_suther I also add lemon to my Water and if its really bad I will take a shot of apple cider vinegar. Which is what I will do tonight.

[bacon 514]

The plan for today is:

B 3 small sausage patties

S 1 banana

L turkey tenderloin.

S apple

D whatever the commander fixes.. it will be sensible amount.

Walkin at work.. 35 min elliptical.

GITTIN IT DONE! NO EXCUSES! NO REGRETS THIS WEEK!!!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Planning a calm Monday of self care and mindful eating. No beating myself up. Back on track a day at a time.

[enjoythetime 1,457]

Thank you @@JustWatchMe for reminding me to take it one day at a time! Today my plan is:

B: Yogurt with trail mix- 250 cal 17p

L: Protein bar- 160 cal 20 p

S: 2 cheese sticks- 180 cal 14 p

D: Roast and Salad- 400 cal. approx. 30

S: Skinny Cow Ice Cream????- 160 cal

Total Calories 1150 Protein 81

Water- 1st day of Water flush 88oz

Exercise- 30 Day Shred Video

[ParaGirl 71]

Today has been a little crazy. I have errands to do after work, so that may cut in to my workout time. Hopefully, I will make it to the gym.

Today's food:

B - Bulletproof coffee

lunch - Quest bar

snack - Peanuts

D - No chop chili, added cheese and sour cream

Evening snack - Protein shake

Totals:

Calories: 1152

Protein: 99

Fat: 76

Net Carbs: 12 (total carbs are 31)

I generally eat more calories than this...

Edited March 2, 2015 by ParaGirl

[ParaGirl 71]

Wow! Perception is everything. I just ate my chili and I portioned out a small bowl - or what I consider a small serving. Anyway, I ate it all and now I feel a little uncomfortable. It was maybe a cup - to 1 1/4. Anyway, I need to start going smaller. It's really hard when you're used to eating more.

Been right on with the food plan today. Yay!

[ParaGirl 71]

@@ParaGirl - I taught at Merry Acres & Robert Cross before transferring to Lee. I get it! What a SMALL world!

@@bacon - I participated in a boot camp type board years ago. I would've gone back, but it's for a specific weight-loss program and I respect that. I was hoping to crank up the same supportive atmosphere on a thread here and I think we are doing just that. WE. I am so grateful for the support I'm getting here. I love the no excuses approach we're all adopting. It's certainly working for me and glad it is for you as well.

I ate OP today and drank 96 oz of Water (prior to 7:30pm to avoid reflux issue). Today: 654 c, 76 p, 22 nc.

Tomorrow's plan:

30 min am exercise, 3 mi pm walk

B-yogurt w/ granola & Fiber powder

L- Protein shake w/ Fiber powder

S- Protein Shake w/ fiber powder

D-4 oz pork chop, veg

697 c, 83 p, 38 nc

Hope you all have a swell evening and a fantastic Monday! I'll check in tomorrow to see how we all did over the weekend.

Ha! Definitely a small world. I actually was a paralegal before I began teaching 8 years ago - hence the nickname on my profile.

Anyway, are you teaching now? Your food plan looks good. How much have you lost? When did you get banded?

[ParaGirl 71]

Oh my word, I want ice cream so badly! I am waiting for Friday for my carb nite! Lawd help.

[lisacaron 5,075]

Off the rails….

If you don’t know me, let me tell you a bit about me. I am a hyper organized, slightly obsessive perfection seeking mad woman. OK that all sounds really bad. In reality I’m just a person who strives to do 10001 things in the course of a day where the hours don’t quite add up to the tasks at hand.

I will say 9 out of 10% of the time the balls I am juggling successfully meet their mark and as one leaves occasionally another pops in to take its place and that’s OK because I am one of those people who gets bored when things are too “easy”. All that said…lately life has been more of a challenge and when I hit the mark with one thing it seems there are 3-5 more things that need juggling.

I’m battling and to be honest I can’t even catch my breath at this point. What the hell am I doing?!!

Over the last few weeks I have been going through some very emotional events, and I am finding myself trying to really understand what the heck is going on. I don’t understand people for the most part, the things they do and say and why…? I often wonder if anyone stops to ask themselves why they are doing and saying the things they are. Ah well what does any of this have to do with Weight Loss and Weight Loss Surgery? Well for me…right now it has to do with the fact that I think I have had a head on collision and my car is now off the rail.

My band is in there begging me to stop stop stop and you know I just want it to shut the hell up! I want to eat eat eat!!! I don’t care about losing weight! Why am I not losing weight I asked myself as I stepped on the scale this morning?! You don’t care about losing weight remember screamed my band as I tried to guzzle down my morning coffee only for it to come flying back out my nose.

OK. OK. I take a breath, clean it up resume and pick up speed I have things to do dam it! My mind is reeling and I have to tell you I am utterly exhausted. Why….let me explain because if I don’t then I fear that I am not going to be able to do this.

I have been reading, taking classes and studying a lot over the past few weeks about addiction. My son is an addict. His drug of choice is heroin. I have come to REALLY HATE this expression “drug of choice”. Makes me think of a Burger King where you can drive up and have it your way!!

I am going through this trial by fire here because it’s about as painful as a 3^rd degree burn, and I’m questioning where the hell this kid got this addictive behavior from when you know (this is where my collision happened)….I’m not as innocent here as I would like to believe I am.

No I’m not nor have I ever been a drug addict or an alcoholic heck I don’t even smoke and never have, but my “drug of choice” is food. Yep, because no matter right now how much my band is cinching on me…my head is looking and calling and looking and craving food.< /p>

The more stress I give myself the more distractions I am throwing at myself to “hide” or sooth how I am feeling the tighter my band gets and the harder it is for me to eat and the more adapt my brain is at finding foods that are high in calorie and fat that just melt in your mouth!!

Ha! HA! Band I beat you!!!

What….wait….what was that??? Hold on. The only thing that’s winning here is my addiction to self-destructive behavior in the form of distractions, food, sugar, salt, and fat!! They know my name and where I live!!

I am not hiding or as “busy” and invisible or unavailable as I keep trying to make myself. Nope…I have painted a big red target on myself and walked the chocolate expo begging the chocolate covered bacon to marry me! (Ok that was just a dream, I stayed away from the expo which was REAL so is chocolate covered bacon which I have never eaten, and I hope I never do because I might need a detox facility myself!!) Hold on a sec….What a great idea!!! Epiphany has struck…detox. Yes I need to detox. I need to get the sugar out of my system. I need to STOP all this. NOW not tomorrow not later, NOW.

So yeah this a cry for help…I need to get back on track. It’s not going to be easy, because the reality of the situation is that all these things are still a big part of my life and they are not going to go away. However…I am going to take some time to reframe and refocus on why I am here. I am going to right now as a matter of fact going to start with my office and DUMP out the peppermint candy sugar balls I bought so I could eat them all freaking day and put them in the trash!!

Then when I get home as much as I love Aunt Maria’s chocolate covered popcorn I am going to get rid of it! I am going to detox tonight and skip “dinner” and have a Protein shake. I am going to give my band a “rest” I have really been taxing it lately and pushing it to its limits and mine.

I am going to commit to working a post op liquid diet for a few days heavy on the Water and slowly ease back into mushy then solid foods. I am going to commit to getting my rear end to the gym that is costing me an arm and a leg and try giving it a thigh and some fat from my ass to chew on instead.

I am bad at accountability…I’m reading all these posts about who is doing what…and I am like oh that’s awesome they are doing so great!!….delete.

So here I am here’s my story…now it’s time kick my ass in gear and get it going!!!!! OK BP’s help me to kick some ass!!! Mine, yours, ours!!!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Lisa, you're not alone and you're not the only one struggling. Take a breath. You've been through a lot with your son lately. It's devastating to watch someone you love suffer.

Your posts always make me think and always point me to something in my life I need to see too. When I don't see you posting as often it means you must be off trying to handle it all on your own. For me that doesn't work. I find success when I reach out. So let's grab this thing by the horns and beat it back.

I've had several weeks of losing and gaining the same five pounds. Why? I want to eat what I want and drink wine whenever I want. That got me really far didn't it?

Today I had yogurt for Breakfast because I forgot that all my Protein shakes were At work. Then deli meat and cheese for lunch. Now Soup and a salad for dinner.

I commit to no more food after this dinner and no wine tonight. I'm off to an OA meeting as well. I got my stairs in at work and guess what.

For today that is my imperfect day and that's just fine.

[bacon 514]

I'm digging the energy. I too am a food addict. I have been clean for just over 3 weeks. I had to start over if you will. I am glad you are here and hope you check in often. Would love to see you focus the energy into exercise. You are right, the band needs a "break" I think you probably have some swelling because of the binging. I know all about it. 3 days of liquids would really be helpful. So glad you shared! Let's do it!!

[bacon 514]

Eating went well today. Exercise included well over an hour walking at work. I got home and did 35 minutes on the E-Kill. It felt like I was in better control of it today. Seemed a bit easier is what I mean to say. Plenty of Water.

I work tomorrow and then a couple of days with my bride!.

Hope everyone is makin' it happen!

[ParaGirl 71]

Lisa, you have a lot on your plate. I'm sorry you're dealing with drug addiction in the family, and you are so right about using food as a drug. I am guilty of the same thing. It was my go to for happiness, sadness, stress, grief, and just regular days when I wanted to occupy my time with eating. We all have our demons to fight. I am glad you reached out. My suggestion to you would be to step back and try not to take on so much. Maybe take some time for YOU. Go get a manicure or a hair cut. Just a thought.

You take care.

[s_suther 446]

@@ParaGirl - I'm not currently teaching. Part of our move included my not working for at least a year, maybe forever. I have lost 130 pounds and was banded in July 2011.

@@lisacaron - Sounds like a few days of liquids might do the trick. We're all in this together. Post your plan for tomorrow and let us help hold you accountable.

@@JustWatchMe - You attend OA meetings? I wish there was a local meeting in my area. I have found FA meetings and am considering it. Do you have an opinion that you can share with me?

@@ParaGirl - I use tiny little saucers and spoons and forks for that very reason! I found some stainless tiny silverware on Amazon and love it.

@@bacon - Making it happen! Keep it up! No regrets this week, right?!?

@@enjoythetime - How did the plan go today? That last day of Water flush gave me reflux last night. Yuck!

@@2babutterfly - Hope you had a great day! Let us hear from you!

@@nailpro00 - Missing your posts lately. I hope all is well.

@@punkinvine - Hope things have settled down in your world. Thinking about you and your mom.

I have eaten according to plan. I drank all of my Water and then some, 80 ounces. I did a 30 minute cardio video this morning and 50 tonight with my daughter and husband.

I have my rescheduled barium swallow test tomorrow morning, so I won't post until it's over. My plan for tomorrow is as follows:

B - 2 eggs

L - 8 oz Protein shake

S - 8 oz Protein Shake

D - chicken and peas

72 oz water

839 c, 80 p, 37 nc

Big favor...I too am a food addict and struggle daily. If I read about a particular food, it can derail my plan or at least keep me thinking about that food that I might not have considered. I even get up and move around when the food porn commercials are on tv. I hope nobody is offended or thinks I'm being a jerk, but it would be very much appreciated if you just gave a hint. I want us to post the good, bad, and the ugly, but maybe use "sweet treat" or "dessert" instead of naming specifics to avoid triggering someone. Are we okay with that?

I hope you all have a swell evening and a super day tomorrow!!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

@@s_suther, I've never heard of FA. Just googled it and there's a meeting nearby tomorrow. I will check it out. I was in OA 25 years ago and lost 130 pounds. Met my husband, got married, dropped OA, and gained 150. In 2014 I got WLS, dropped the abusive husband, filed for divorce, went to CODA and back to OA, and dropped 100 pounds so far. Not sure what opinion you want but you have a plan and a good support system, and that's a formula that works in my book.