did you tell people?

[Djmohr 6,965]

I told many people that are closest to me that I was having WLS. Once I was post op and losing weight rapidly I shared my story with anyone who asks. I am proud of what this tool has done for me and the very hard work I put into it. There has been so much bad publicity regarding WLS that I really wanted people to understand that if you follow the plan the plan works!

If you choose to eat whatever you want whenever you want, you will not be successful. There is no easy road here, just lots of hard work and great success if you follow the plan.

Maintenance will be that much harder......

[MisforMimi 760]

To the discussions above I will echo that its not effortless but malabsorption is malabsorption with the bypass and that reality is everything you consume will not show up on your body. Hwoever, if you eat the wrong things you could possibly dump. James M. had the bypass and I have seen record of his diligence to his program on this site and he has gotten results. Work and making a concerted effort is different than struggling. We all struggled with our weight. Most for a lifetime. Our tool has to be a tool for us not a solution.

[Rovobay 920]

loose lips sink ships. only the wife knows... it would be impossible to keep it from her...or I probably would have too!!! no ones business.

[Packerfan61964 293]

This topic has been brought up so much.......but the bottom line is ......its your choice whether or not you tell anyone. In my own case the majority of my friends and family aren't stupid. I've tried so many diets over the past 25 years and my weight has yo-yo'd. Now, at age 50, I've lost 70+ lbs......they know that something is up. If they ask......I tell them. Having WLS is NOT a guarantee that you will lose weight. It is an aid to lose weight.....just like every diet out there. You have to stick with it or it will FAIL. There is no right or wrong answer here......its just an opinion. BUT.......I would rather be judged and criticized for the person who had WLS than be judged for being the FAT person.....cuz eventually everyone will forget that you were once fat!!!!!

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I only told a couple of people before -- my best friend who took me to the hospital, the ex-husband and kids (in case I died or something ) and the two friends at work who would always leave candy on my desk if I was out sick. Figured they needed to know!

Since surgery, I tell most people who ask. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of what I did. I just didn't want to get everyone's opinion before surgery and have my surgery choice be open to public vote. I usually get positive responses... occasionally the "oh, you weren't big enough to need surgery" but nothing nasty.

It was a little difficult figuring out when to tell the new boyfriend. We had been dating about 8 weeks and I finally felt like I needed to tell him why I eat such small portions. He wasn't a food pusher but I felt like he thought maybe I was playing games only eating a little in front of him or that I had an eating disorder or something. I told him I had surgery and that I'd lost about 75 pounds and he said "Wow, congrats, good for you". It was probably a week or two later he asked when I had the surgery and when I said 6 months ago he almost fell out. Then he said "Wow... you have worked so hard, I thought it had been a couple of years!" He's really supportive about it and is totally impressed with how hard and often I work out. It's cool to me to think he thinks I'm such an athlete now when 9 months ago I would have qualified as a couch potato. It was really intimidating to show him before pictures but he was totally impresssed.

Do what you feel comfortable with but I say be an ambassador for the surgery and help people understand what it's about.

[MyssJones 84]

I told only my immediate family and closest friends. I don't want the questions or judgement. It's my life I do what I want. And that doesn't mean I have to blab to everyone about it.

[anewme15 40]

Hi, I'm mid way through my process and I've only told 3 people, 2 of which have had gastric bypass.

Edited January 14, 2015 by anewme15

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I've only told a few people. Not because it's a "secret" or because of any "stigma", I simply don't feel a duty to educate others at their whim. I've actually discussed it with more strangers than I have people in my life. My immediate family knows as do my mom and dad. My inlaws do not. My besties know, my clients do not. A few of my team members know, but only because we are that close and I trust them to let me tell my story if and when I choose to.

I have much more interesting things to talk about in my life. My kids, my dog, my volunteer work, my career... I have been consumed by my weight and dieting most of my life. Now that I do not have a weight problem, I see no need to go on about it unless I choose to. I feel no anxiety or stress about my WLS, so I can't imagine I would feel any "relief" telling people and as no one has ever asked me out right, I see no reason to do so.

It's a very individual decision and one only you can make. It's like a bell, though. You can't unring it once you've told, so make your decision wisely.

[CountryGirl5584 115]

I've only told my family, my boss, and a few selected co-workers. Actually the co-workers that know only know because I had my EGD where I work. Other than that people will find out when they find out. I'm not ashamed to tell them I just don't feel that I have to. All the responses I've gotten have been very positive especially from people that I thought would try to talk me out of it.

[Chrystee 838]

I told mybest friend, and a very old best friend (we've known each other for 50 years) my old best friend was ans is very supportive but to my surprise my best friend isn't. She gets defensive when I say anything and comes up with "well you just watch what you eat and work out" how about this and that and something else........ grrrrrr ive been struggling for years and not getting anywhere. She just doesn't back off.

I just logged onto my fitness pal for day 30, I've been eating under 1200 calories and burning 250 of that on the treadmill I've lost 3 pounds :-(

Anyway, I'm glad that I only told a couple of people because I really don't like the negative remarks and the doom and gloom. I'm scared as it is.

People do know that I'm working on my weight loss so maybe when I have my surgery they won't even think about it. And if they ask...... I'll tell them.

My sister got weird about it at first. I think because she was worried about it. Its major surgery.. and to be fair, things can happen.. Finally I just told her to stop being a b****! I also think because she's always been smaller (but she is overweight) that I will then be the "skinny" one. My friend who has been through it said that by me doing this, she will be forced to sort of face her own food demons.

So, after my mom and sister acted weird.. I had told a few people, and got mostly support (or a bunch of have you tried this? What about this?), I decided I'm not really telling anyone else, and I'll just tell people after, when they start noticing.

Its a very personal choice. If you want to tell the world, and be the face of bariatric surgery, then go ahead, otherwise, you don't have to tell anyone at all.

Edited January 15, 2015 by Chrystee

[Stevehud 1,790]

do whatever your heart says. I told everyone and anyone both in the newspaper and in my blog and my whole company i work for is behind me. But i know others dont have that luxury so its totally a personal matter for you to decide.

Edited January 15, 2015 by Stevehud

[samuelsmom 670]

I can certainly understand all the angst. For me, I really did not want to make a big deal out of this. I told my husband, 2 grown children, 1 of my 4 siblings, 5 people from work, and 2 from church for 11 total. For me, it was a good decision. I have appreciated the support I have gotten and not been overwhelmed with questions. It's not that I mind other people knowing, I just needed to be able to focus with a small support group.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

1. Yes, I did quietly let people know I was having WLS, luckily for me , all were supportive !! Family and friends knew I had been struggling for years, Weight Watchers didn't do well for me, and I needed help getting a strong, healthy body back. Thanks to my band, and following my Drs. rules, Im getting there !! I put WLS in the same category as Dental Surgery. If your Denist said " you cant fix this tooth problem on your own, I know you've tried many times, but I think dental surgery and following my rules will make you healthier ", well, wouldn't you gave the surgery ?

[pink dahlia 2,513]

And just out of curiosity .......... someone please explain this to me !! I ate like a horse until I was about 25, normal weight. About late 20's the metabolism slowed down, I ate less food and healthier food ,still gained, but now supposedly this means I have "food issues "???? Nobody told me I had food issues when I was a skinny teen living on fast food, but now that Im an adult who gaines weight easily, and doesnt lose it easily, I have "food addiction " or "food issues "??? Just a little confused ! Opinions ?

[maggie0210 117]

The best answer to your question is under "rants & raves". Go to post titled

by"lipsticklady" she has the best information I have read on this subject. And one I wish I had read before I opened my big mouth. Can't remember exact title but go to one started by lipstick lady. She's brilliant.