decisions decisions.... 36.9BMI, 30yr female (no kids yet)

[txfirefly979 21]

so here's my story ---- I'm not one that loses weight easily (never have been although know I'm hypothyroid). I'm considering surgery because I feel like I'm doing all the right things (working out 3-4x per week 20min weight+20-30 cardio and eating healthy) and the scale just keeps climbing!!!! I am at 36.9BMI at age 30.... and we havent even had kids yet. How high will it climb if I get pregnant and then STILL cant lose weight... and have EVEN more to loose!!! Would I be willing or able to spend the money and time on myself to have the surgery after a baby.... these are things that concern me (admittedly surgery freaks me out already).

I've struggled with my weight since high school. (although lookin back, cant believe I thought I was fat then!) lost some weight (unhealthily) sophomore year in college. post college the lbs packed on (despite working out regularly at a gym and playing volleyball weekly in a league).

First saw PCP dr at age 23 because I noticed weight creeping up even with working out. tried Synthroid, Metformin (pre-diabetes), anti-anxiety drugs. 2 years later had gained almost 50 lbs. Depression really set it (although I've never stopped working out 3x a week) and is getting worse due to self-image (I love myself and know I have valuable qualities but looking in the mirror and feeling MISERABLE in my body plus not being able to move (bend, etc.) the way I want to makes me literally CRY). got married at 29 and a year later couldnt believe how much heavier I was just a year out.

PCP doc agrees about losing weight so sent me to endocrinologist in Sept 2014 ---- who was AWFUL! did ZERO tests, had no answers (or inclination to answer me) on WHY I'm gaining weight when eating healthy and working out. Just sent me out the door to meet with nutritionist (who prescribed the AWFUL new govt "food plate" <--wayyyy too many refined carbs!) AND a Rx for weightloss (Qysmia).

After researching, it is an ANTI-seizure drug (not epilietic!) along with more poison for my body. STILL I tried it for over a month (was supposed to lose 10lbs).... and GAINED 1 lb! plus it was $200 EACH month. and I really didnt like putting that in my body (major birth defects if accidentally get pregnant)

First debated surgery Oct 2014 but mom cried and begged me to try again. Spent $$$$ getting hormones tested and doing sugar/gluten/dairy free diet for 2 months. Natural thyroid has definitely helped with energy levels and I'm off anxiety meds (except for panic attack "as needed" meds) but STILL have gained 10lbs in 3 months, so I'm decided that surgery is the only route that is going to help give me the boost since I havent been able to lose ANY weight in almost 7 years.

Now 30 and would like to have a kid in next year or two (32-33 before) BUT I dont want to be a 300lb+ mom who cant keep up with her kids (hubby is thin). Also have 2 maternal aunts who are MO and type2 diabetics and mom is mildly overweight. I dont want to end up like my aunts! They're both on so many weight-related medications and are just unhealthy! (which I've tried to avoid by cooking at home and not eating out).

Live in rural area so there ARE no fast-food joints to eat at. We eat out maybe 2x a MONTH at maximum (usually after church) so eating at home 99% of the time. eat a lot of chicken and fish and venison (deer) as well as veggies (very little red meat) grill and saute and bake almost all of our food (never fry).

I feel so frustrated (and like a complete failure) that I cant lose weight with diet and exercise on my own. All of my coworkers and family always comment about how healthy I eat and often I work out but NOTHING WORKS (and of course, no one ever comments how good I look because I keep GAINING WEIGHT!). I look in the mirror and dont recognize myself... because I know what I'm putting in and that just doesnt compute! Genetics and Portion Control are my best guess (and yes I keep a food diary - myFitnessPal all) on why I'm so overweight.

Blood and hormone testing in OCT 2014 show I'm pre-diabetic and definitely hypothyroid (symptoms confirmed, TSH still within "normal range") so I think both of those things will hopefully be resolved or at least improved with weight loss. (hopefully???) ALSO worrying is that majority of excess weight is in my midsection (which I keep reading puts me at risk for heart attack, stroke and other serious crap)

nervous about surgery but DEFINITELY more scared of what weight I will be at if I dont do this. Self-pay patient (insurance requires 5 yrs employment AND 5 yrs M.Obese BMI of 40). since we're putting off baby at min 1 year (yes till weight stabilizes after surgery), I would like to have this done in the next 1-2 months (Feb 2015).

I'm looking at Davis Clinic in Houston, or possible NewStart at Memorial Hermann-Woodlands. --- any advice about those clinics, or any docs in Woodlands/N.Houston area??!?

advice/suggestions, esp from those with similar starting height/BMI (and those doing/done G.sleeve BEFORE having kids) is VERY welcomed.

[Elode 8,093]

@@txfirefly979 If I could have had this surgery before having my Kids I would have. In my case I put on quit a bit of weight between having all 3 kiddos. There are some ladies on here now that have had the surgery and are now pregnant. They say you only need to Increase your calories by 300 when pregnant. Now with that being said I wouldn't have surgery and then get myself pregnant within a few months..I would defiantly wait a year if I had the choice (Which technically you do). Maybe you can search and find the ladies that are going through it now and ask? I'm just telling you what I've read, no personal experience! My baby making factory is shut down!

[mduffield 252]

@@txfirefly979 - I can totally relate to

Your story!! I've been overweight since my teens but always dieting and health conscious. Not to mention in the gym kicking my butt several times a week. I've tried it all. my body is just happy being obese. That's what prompted my choice for the gastric sleeve, after much research! I have a 14mo old daughter but only gained 9lbs pregnant. Hence, my utter despair over my body just being happy in the 230's! My daughter was 9lb 1oz at birth so baby weight crashed off, plus some within two weeks. That being said, I plan to have more children after I reach goal and am fully recovered from surgery. I did weigh the risks, and with good medical care and healthy habits, there just aren't many!? I have my surgery this Friday ( the 9th.) hope to be prego sometime in 2016! We don't have any fertility problems, so that's not a worry.

[txfirefly979 21]

@@Elode & @@mduffield thank you so much for your comments! I really appreciate your side of the story. and CONGRATS and good luck with surgery and post-op diet! I cant wait to read an update on how you're doing! I'm trying to schedule my first consultation for sometime next week. Being that I will be a self-pay customer, I'm hoping it moves quickly so that that 1st year goes by FAST! and we get to have some cute kiddos Age (30 now. so 32 when 1st pregnancy IF it all goes as planned) definitely has me a bit worried because ideally I would like 3 and would like them 3-4 years spread out (again... God willing... we all know sometimes best of intentions doesnt go as planned). however we dont have any reason to think that we have fertility issues. we use FAM/NFP (with barrier methods on fertile days) so I'm very familiar with my cycle and have a very regular cycle as well as ovulating monthly.

having said that, I know in my head and my heart that I will be a much better mom if i'm healthy and happy with my body. plus I can only imagine how much more I can do when my thunder thighs no longer wear out jeans and my belly isnt in the way!

Edited January 8, 2015 by txfirefly979

[auntjanny 289]

I would run, not walk, to look seriously into this surgery. I think it is a wonderful TOOL. I am still and wil always struggle with emotional eating but this process has given me hope and success. I had a BMI around 37. I think it is now 29.8. I am 5 feet tall, older, and a slow loser. I have no regrets.

You can reclaim your life and look forward to amazing years with future children.

I would suggest doing your research and medical appointments without involving your mom or anyone who may not get it. It is often a long enough process that you as the patient get the chance to decide if this way of life is for you.

I wish you great success and enjoyment of the whole process!

Edited January 8, 2015 by auntjanny

[Elode 8,093]

@@txfirefly979 You're welcome! Good luck with whatever you decide!

[CountryGirl5584 115]

Im 5'1" with a BMI of 41.3. I have no kids and would definitely like to have some soon, but I know right now I have to worry about me. I also have hashimotos and am hypothyroid. I had asked at an informational seminar how the surgery could affect someone who doesn't have but wants kids. My surgeon said it will only make it easier for you when you're ready. Chances of having a big baby also go down. They said to wait 18 months post surgery to try and get pregnant.

[txfirefly979 21]

Im 5'1" with a BMI of 41.3. I have no kids and would definitely like to have some soon, but I know right now I have to worry about me. I also have hashimotos and am hypothyroid. I had asked at an informational seminar how the surgery could affect someone who doesn't have but wants kids. My surgeon said it will only make it easier for you when you're ready. Chances of having a big baby also go down. They said to wait 18 months post surgery to try and get pregnant.

@@CountryGirl5584 - thanks for the reply! Do you mind me asking how old you are? I'm definitely still pursuing this... I'm just hoping for a 12mo waiting period rather than 18-24 months (being that I'm almost 31).

Do you have your VSG surgery scheduled yet??

[CountryGirl5584 115]

@@CountryGirl5584 - thanks for the reply! Do you mind me asking how old you are? I'm definitely still pursuing this... I'm just hoping for a 12mo waiting period rather than 18-24 months (being that I'm almost 31).

Do you have your VSG surgery scheduled yet??

@@txfirefly979 I'm 30 will be 31 in May. I'll be having my surgery Feb 9th!

Edited January 12, 2015 by CountryGirl5584

[livvsmum 2,369]

Maybe I will have a different response than most. I had my surgery after having my 4 kids. As long as I was not having fertility issues, I didn't want to have it until I had my kids because I feared losing all of the weight and then having a pregnancy and gaining it back and having to struggle and fight again to get it off. I wanted it to be off for good. That was just my take on it.

[txfirefly979 21]

Maybe I will have a different response than most. I had my surgery after having my 4 kids. As long as I was not having fertility issues, I didn't want to have it until I had my kids because I feared losing all of the weight and then having a pregnancy and gaining it back and having to struggle and fight again to get it off. I wanted it to be off for good. That was just my take on it.

@@livvsmum thanks for replying... that is actually one of my biggest fears (especially because I'm not sure I could afford it, financially or mentally, a second time). It looks like you've had your surgery already and hit your goal weight (congrats!).... having said that - do you think it would be possible to lose the weight after kids? my concern with waiting is that I wont spend the money on myself then (plus it would be another 2+ years of waiting and being miserable in my own body b/c of pregnancy plus breastfeeding). I know I definitely couldnt wait until we've had all the kids we want bc that would be 10 years away! appreciate the different perspective though

[Taraashley04 3]

Looks like I'm getting my sleeve in February. I'm 28 and want to have kids basically as soon as I'm aloud to after surgery! Lol still doing my research on pregnancy after surgery.

[mrs kaje 347]

I'll be 37 this year and I have two kids. I wish I had done this when I was in your position (younger, and pre-kids). I highly recommend doing it now while you've got the chance.

[txfirefly979 21]

I'll be 37 this year and I have two kids. I wish I had done this when I was in your position (younger, and pre-kids). I highly recommend doing it now while you've got the chance.

thanks @@mrs kaje! love the support! good luck with your weight-loss journey

@@Taraashley04 congrats on surgery date! I'm hopeful mine will be in February too! maybe we can be sleeve buddies and navigate the post-surgery pregnancy world together best of luck with your surgery ---- be sure and post updates on your progress!

[RedSalamander 148]

I'm going to come at this from a different angle. I am only 6 days post-op at this point, so obviously some things will change, but I wouldn't go back and have the surgery before kids. Nope. I had two healthy, normal pregnancies (despite my weight, which isn't really an issue) and now I have 2 lovely kids. And now I have no plans to have any more, so I don't have to worry about a fetus being properly nourished...just me! And I don't have to worry that if I have extreme (but rare!) complications that it will set pregnancy back even further...

I think you'll also find that pregnancy and motherhood puts a wrench in your body hatred. You might feel uncomfortable, but you will find that your body is a miraculous, awe-inspiring thing. And frankly, you won't have time or energy for self-loathing. So don't worry too much about that.

Just some thoughts.

On the other hand, if you are hoping the surgery will enable you to become pregnant, that's a whole 'nother ball of wax!

Oh, and you talk about your age...I know that you're in Texas, and I am most certainly not, but I had my kids at 31 and 35, and am on the young side of the other young mothers I know. Many of my friends didn't have their children until their late 30s and early 40s!