Help... At the edge of giving up

[nikkipk72 11]

Hi all, as I type this I realize many of us banded folks feel like giving up, for me I'm afraid this is my only option. I was banded in June of 2010 and lost 100, since I have lived life and life has taken its toll. Death of loved ones and a divorce has pushed my eating over the edge.

I have gained quite a bit of the weight back, I'm afraid I have stretched my pouch or esophagus. I can eat full meal and feel no restrictions. Occasionally I get stuck if I'm in a hurry, but I know how to deal with that. And the most damaging habit is now drinking with meals.

I see my doc in the morning and pray after the flora he will tell me no damage to my band, pouch or throat. I don't know if I'm strong enough emotionally to handle a setback. I just want it all to be okay.

Thanks for your time.

Nikki

Edited January 6, 2015 by nikkipk72

[B-52 7,113]

I understand exactly everything you're describing....do not expect newly banded people, which there are many here, to understand what you're saying because they have not experienced this type of living with the band in the long run, and still trying to find that "Groove"

I say that not in a negative way,

Well you're seeing your Dr in the morning...otherwise I would suggest going all liquids for a week or so...shakes, Soups, and so forth....stuff that will pass through easily.

I do this from time to time but because I do it regularly, it is usually 4-8 weeks apart and only 2-3 days.

Your Dr. may empty your band completely, which in effect will do the same thing. Give your band a rest.

He/she could tell their patients to go all liquids and stay away from solids, but in truth they cannot trust all patients to follow directions so it is easier to empty the band and let them eat normally.

Please keep us veterans posted as to what happens.

Edited January 6, 2015 by B-52

[BarefootNCassandra 3]

I am completely feeling your pain as I ride this same boat right now. I made some diet changes to get more accountable but I know its only a start. I am afraid to go back to my doctor. I am interested in what your appointment outcome is. please post your results. Maybe your story can influence others to make that big step to go back to the doctor. Good Luck Nikki! Casey

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Hi, im sending you lots of hugs ! Hopefully, your Dr. appt. will be a positive outcome. I know you're dealing with alot of stressors, but did you consider a little bit of therapy to help you deal with your losses ? You're dealing with those changes and losses in an unhealthy way, or you can deal with those changes and losses in a healthy way. Either way, you have to deal with them, so why not do it in the best way possible ? Just a thought. I saw and interesting quote the other day. "By putting myself first, everybody gets the BEST of me, not the LEAST of me. " Just an idea. Hugs !

[nikkipk72 11]

Thank you for the replies, I'm sitting outside my doc's off a nervous wreck and of course in tears... I hate that I have failed and am afraid of what he will say. Saw my counselor this morning and she is working with me to help me feel better about this set back and how life sometimes gets in the way, it's all about how we react. I'll post after I leave my doc... Fingers crossed all is okay.

[nikkipk72 11]

Hi all, I made it out of the doc with a smile and a great sense of support. Here's the short of the long story...

Weighed in and tears flowed... Ugh!

Fluoroscopy showed no stretching of the pouch or esophagus! I was cleared to have a fill, I ended up with a full 1cc. A second Fluoroscopy and found that was too much, so she backed out some and after a third Fluoroscopy, it seems we have a winner!

I was given a small task of eating a small bowl of taco time chili to see if food would pass and the cleared to go home. Liquids for the next 48 hrs and a phone in check up on Friday.

She reminded me to treat this fill as a first fill because it's been so long since the last fill. Sent me home with reminders on portion sizes, Water intake and her number for support!

I shared with her I posted on here and how grateful I was to have the support of people I may never met.

Thank you for thinking of me, replying and your support.

Nikki

[BarefootNCassandra 3]

Thats awsome! So encouraging. a second chance for you. I hope I get that lucky when I go back. What kinds of liquids? Protein shakes, sf Jello, popsicles, and clear broths?

[nikkipk72 11]

She suggested to focus on Protein and make Snacks S/F Jello and Popsicles... Things that won't strain the whole system and to give my stomach a break. I will say I don't ever remember being able to "feel" my band and it being adjusted, last night and this morning I am sore, muscle sore... Deep inside, not like I've been wrking out sore but adjusted sore. Which is a good reminder to go easy on her for a couple of days.

If I can get there you can... My doc said yesterday, everyone needs a reset once in a while and there is no shame in admitting that.

[BarefootNCassandra 3]

Great to hear. I am going to muscle up the power to go back too. Your post has been sooooo helpful. Good Luck!

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@nikkipk72 how are you doing a few days after your Dr. visit? Are you feeling a good sense of restriction? Making good choices and eating well?

[parisshel 1,892]

Good for you for giving yourself a clean slate and fresh start. That's a sign that you are back in the game! Let us know how the new fill is going and how the weight is dropping. You did it before...you can do it again!

[nikkipk72 11]

Well so far so good, I can tell there is restriction. First day after my full was filled with work, so I was starving when I got home. I have to learn how to manage food at work so I don't get to the ravenous state at work, which triggers poor food choices. I came home and grabbed a premixed Protein drink and that held me until I could settle the kids!

Of course the liquid thing is not always pleasurable... Finding Protein drinks that mix/taste decent is a challenge. Thank goodness for gum, it satisfies the desire to chew.

I'll keep plugging away and track food/calories.

For those of you who do the liquid thing... Any advice on what to drink as an alternative to Protein Drinks. They don't seem to stick with me and I end up hungry... Balance all that with 300 calories per meal. Ugh!

[parisshel 1,892]

The only time I use liquid Protein drinks is after a fill. Otherwise they do not provide satisfaction because liquids just flow through my pouch and don't signal "fullness" to my brain. So I only use them when I need to baby my stoma/pouch, such as post-fill. There are bandsters that use them for Breakfast, however, due to being too restricted to eat anything of a solid nature.

[nikkipk72 11]

That's how I am feeling, not full! So I load up on Water. My brain still thinks I need to eat, darn brain!

The nurse said liquids because it was a couple yrs since my last fill and this one was on the larger side... Can't wait for soft food Saturday morning!

Have a great Thursday and thank you for your support!

[nikkipk72 11]

That's how I am feeling, not full! So I load up on Water. My brain still thinks I need to eat, darn brain!

The nurse said liquids because it was a couple yrs since my last fill and this one was on the larger side... Can't wait for soft food Saturday morning!

Have a great Thursday and thank you for your support!