professional 52yo worried about perception of other members of upper management?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

You can't help what other people think. Many people in "professional" settings think all the things you have listed about anyone who is overweight. Be proud of what you accomplish and let them drive themselves crazy trying to figure it out.

[jbrooks_rn 23]

I would think they would be impressed by your decision to be healthier ..... You can't be fired for that so don't worry about it . Just do your job with good energy and enthusiasm and they'll be ok with it !

[scared52yoguy! 4]

thanks everyone. very helpful. at this point, the story is hernia repair and New Year's resolution. All seems like it fits well - good timing as the company goes throught once-in-a-lifetime changes - and so will I. I hope I don't chicken out!!!

[jmscout6 27]

They don't need to know... Do for you ... If your mid management I'm sure the surgery won't dampen your drive or spirit. ❤️

[Gammy10 37]

am a 52 yo professional with post-graduate degree. Looking at having sx in mid january. currently in upper management of a large company. i'm not worried about friends and family. i am worried a bit about how others in upper management will perceive me post surgery? weak, no will power, can't stick to tough commitment, lack of drive, just takes short-cuts??? these are all very serious things in the often mega-ego world of upper management. anyone have any real-life experience?

I can understand your fear. I am in my late 40s, working on my doctorate, and in the professional arena. We all know there are those sharks looking for any drop of blood or weakness, so they can attack. I had the same concerns to a certain extent when I was considering surgery. I decided I would keep it a secret between me and my husband, and everyone around me would just see me as having super human will power. But what I discovered was life after wls was something I could not fully imagine until I found myself on the other side. I do not freely tell people about my choice, but if they point blank ask, I do not lie. I have found that while I have lost many pounds, I have gained a greater sense of confidence, a more positive attitude, a greater willingness to go the extra mile, and peace of mind in knowing I did the right thing for myself. If decided if those I worked with couldn't understand that, then they were the ones with a problem.

Good luck to you. Hold your head high and do not let anyone make you feel smaller or weaker because you had the courage to follow this dream for yourself.

Ha! I could imagine hearing the words to Katy Perry's song ROAR as I typed this response! lol

"...cause I am a CHAMPION, and you're gonna hear me ROAR!"

[Trillium 50]

Sixteen years ago, I got slim in about 6 months on phen/fen. It made me very productive at work (HR) and I was often the first and last person in the office. I was frank about the drugs when people asked. I figured to lie was a disservice to every fat person who failed to lose on their own, because naturally thin people think (and a lot of fat people, too) that willpower is all that's needed. Which we know now is BS.

As my surgeon said "you can't call yourself a failure at something if fewer than 5% of those who try it succeed."

It did not occur to me until reading this thread that my candor about phen/fen may have backfired. I've always blamed it on an (very fat) boss who put moves on me, and when I rejected him, reassigned me to a dead-end position. Maybe it was more complex. Maybe it seemed I was not "playing by the rules." Making others look bad, whatever. Ironically, that jerk was found guilty of fraud a few years later!

That nightmare assignment was my last full-time job (pre-kids), and I know it won't be easy to re-enter the workforce. But I know I will feel much more confident when slim, and nobody will even know I ever looked different.

[Addawn 81]

I am a 50-year old professional myself, and honestly I don't give a rats furry behind what they think. This is for me, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and hurting all the time. To me, having this surgery is going to improved my life which will make me a better employee. Honestly, upper management already knows I'm fluffy that is a fact I can't avoid no matter how much denial have. This can only be a positive for me, as will as my company. I think changing your life for the better is always going to be seen as a positive.

[brennasmom 24]

Strong courageous ability to see a problem and solve it. These are qualities we want to have and you have them. Weak people don't go through this process. Keep up the great work.

[RuthFour 15]

I would not tell them. I had an interesting and negative experience in recovery where I was met with prejudice. Ironic that it was in the recovery room, they should know better. But the lesson was, that people who have not been where we have, do not understand. I was yelled at because I was disoriented (demonstrative and a tad whiny) coming out of anaesthesia and the remarks were "you're not the only one here" and "some people have had brain surgery". Well, needless to say I was stunned and too disoriented to react in any concrete way except to tell her to "GO AWAY". But it affected me deeply. I should have felt safe in this environment and I didn't and it affected my relationships with the nurses and others after. I felt insecure.

I've since complained to the hospital and was assured that it would be investigated. It's nobody's business and noone needs to know, especially when it comes to work environment. Examples....Oh, you've lost weight....yes, I have...how did you do it....cut back and I haven't been quite well. Anything serious? No, on the mend....be vague. They'll stop asking soon enough. Be your strong, confident self.

Anyway, good luck. I find this topic quite fascinating actually. Weight is a problem that we wear on the outside for everyone to see. God knows what issues they have underneath....they just get to wear it on the inside so noone can see and they can feel superior.

The bastards! Don't let them get ya down!

Ruth (P.S. I also had a hernia, good excuse!)

Edited January 11, 2015 by RuthFour

[Lani789 128]

Hernia all the way. I was in the same position and I asked the surgeon and he said I'm sure you will have a hernia. I had a little heart scare a week before surgery (found in pre op testing and was false positive). I fessed up to that since it was just a one day procedure, then said hernia surgery and out for a week (desk job). So now family and work knows I had a heart scare and I've redirected my life to my health. I started this in the months before surgery, so while people are impressed with the weight loss they aren't shocked. I've told a few people who really need to know, but as I go on I can see it is not something most people need to know.

I did find it funny that the young man in the health food store knew right away based on what I was buying! He whispered bariatric surgery? as he was ringing it up. Gee....how could Quest bars, Synergy nectar tub and Smoth Move tea signal that? He said he recognized the grouping from other clients. No judgment there. We stopped and went through Protein drinks and I bought Isopure in several flavors (expensive) and the best I've found yet.

So don't discuss. No one at work needs to know. I'm almost 60 and it is tough enough to compete in the corporate world as "old" let alone "scarred".

[amazon 579]

I'm 52, 51 when I had the surgery. Although I'm not ashamed in any way of having has WLS, I didn't think it was my employers business.

I'm in management and don't want to potentially bring any unwanted attention from judgmental people who could impact my career. To top it off, the company has been gutting its healthcare for years, and has since gone to a high deductible plan. Their plans have always excluded anything to do with weight loss and nutrition. Two years ago I switched to my husbands plan because it was so much better, and cheaper. They covered WLS. It could be a political hot mess if it came out seeing as since I'm a manager I'm supposed to support the company line. The employees hate the new insurance. I happen to agree. We used to lose 5% a year to turn over. This last year it hit 25%. All over the health plan.

Didn't mean to turn this to a rant about work, lol. It just reinforced to me that it's none of their business :-)