professional 52yo worried about perception of other members of upper management?

[scared52yoguy! 4]

am a 52 yo professional with post-graduate degree. Looking at having sx in mid january. currently in upper management of a large company. i'm not worried about friends and family. i am worried a bit about how others in upper management will perceive me post surgery? weak, no will power, can't stick to tough commitment, lack of drive, just takes short-cuts??? these are all very serious things in the often mega-ego world of upper management. anyone have any real-life experience?

[SuperDave 1,115]

You don't have to tell them you had weight loss surgery. It is none of their business. Or you could point out that in fact this is an extreme measure, and you were willing to do whatever it takes to reach your goal. Anyone in business should know that one person is not as effective as a well organized team with a plan. You, your surgeon, nutritionist and support group make up that team.

Mostly though, I wouldn't worry about it all too much. In my real life experience, people are shocked at first when you make a big change, but they quickly adapt to the new you and forget about the past. I would hope that upper management at a large company has better things to worry about than one of their peers losing some weight.

[scared52yoguy! 4]

Thanks SuperDave. My concern is likely just me beginning to worry about everything as my surgery date approaches. Thanks for the support.

[Jill Pill 61]

Tell them you are having a hernia repair

[SeahawksFan 444]

I didn't tell anyone at my work. I had my hernia repaired when I had my WLS so I just said I had that done. No one needs to know. Before you have surgery you will have to diet so I just made sure I got the word out before hand that I was eating clean and working out.

[scared52yoguy! 4]

Actually, iI do have a hernia and I have signed an authorization to have it repaired at same time - good idea! Thanks!

[Bufflehead 6,358]

I find that people tend to take me more seriously now that I have lost almost 200 lbs. I think some of them were probably thinking "weak, no will power" etc. a lot more when I was super morbidly obese than they are now when I am much more active and healthy. I have gotten tons of compliments and well-wishes. Most people don't know I have had surgery but some do and they have all been very positive about it. I haven't had anyone be negative about it.

[*Lexie* 1,486]

I chose not to tell anyone at the office for the same reason. I manage a department of 250 so I didn't want anyone at work knowing anything. And my weight loss has been a conservative 1-3lbs a week so it's not so dramatic that it's causing anyone to question anything.

To look at it another way, statistics show that we are likely being judged, held back, paid less due to our weight so when you lose the weight, it should boost people's perception of you (even though you're the same capable person).

[mjmboston 33]

@scared52yoguy! Good luck with everything. I agree with the others, hernia is the way to go! I am 51, upper management at a midsize company. I had my surgery 2 weeks ago. At first, I choose to only tell the CEO (my boss) and few few close friends at work, but I was back at work last week for a few days and told the rest of the exec team, i figured what the heck. Everyone is really supportive. But, I totally understand where you are coming from. Especially the worrying as surgery approaches, I was a bundle of nerves. But everything went great and I am sure it will for you too! Congrats on making this decision and GOOD LUCK!!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Don't tell them. It's none of their business. Also if you are changing how you eat and exercising pre-op, it will then just appear that things are paying off when the post-op changes kick in.

[jaxson5 37]

Those who judge will always judge, they are probably judging you now, don't worry about it.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

You have to trust me on this:

Do NOT tell them.

Really. I mean it. Don't do it.

You can't ever deliver the amount of mind-twisting education required to make people who think they know all there is to know about something that most of them know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about and never will because they cannot conceive of something they haven't experienced themselves understand what you're going through and how hard you will be working to be successful at weight loss and weight maintenance.

They've already judged you for being obese. If you tell them you've had WLS they will again judge you in all the new ways you are afraid they will.

I own a business that serves professionals who are smart, well educated, successful, fit, slim, good looking, and who are hired for their judgment. They know NOTHING about WLS. They are highly judgmental of people who aren't exactly like them.

It was a no-brainer for me to keep my own counsel about my WLS. I am so glad that I have.

Edited December 29, 2014 by VSGAnn2014

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

P.S. Some of the people who encourage you to tell everyone and let the chips fall where they may don't work at all, much less work in a professional setting.

[BitterSweet* 835]

In the nicest, most professional way that I can say this.......Keep your trap shut. =)

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

ditto