I'm done telling folks. They don't get it

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

IKR!! Now I'm getting negavity from family saying...what if....I'm denied?? Then what?? Since I'm big as a barn, and all. UGH!! I meet the BMI, I did 6 months suprv dr diet visits, I did a sleep study, diagnosed with sleep apnea. What more do I friggin need???? My first born??? I really need some positivity in my life right now.

Edited January 2, 2015 by wannaBthinsoon

[AquariusDiva 15]

The only person that knows is my husband. I will not be telling any other family members or coworkers. They just would not get it and I don't want to hear it. My sister or mother have never had a weight problem and I am pretty sure I know they would not understand.

[Twinsmommy0513 27]

I've had my band a little over a year and the judgement doesn't get any easier. At least it hasn't in my family. Very true that no one understands. I have told a select few about my band and because of the negative responses I've received, now I tell people only when asked ...that I've worked really hard watching what I'm eating and exercising. This is not a lie and I feel this is all that anyone needs to know. Even though our surgeries are different, they work towards the same result...being healthy and happy. Best decision I could have made. Best of luck and remember you are doing this for no one but you.

[galadriel535 43]

Wannabthinsoon: hang in there honey. People who have not been there have no idea! I have only told a couple of people at my job, since I am going to be out next week, but frankly it is no one's buisness! I am sick & tired of being sick and tired. I could nto live like that anymore, and so was willing to go to any lengths. If someone ahs not delat with this issue, they have no clue. Funny: I got a tatoo a couple of years ago on my right buttock that says "kiss this" with some lips puckered up. It caused the operating room and post-op nurses a couple of giggles...but seriously...if people don't like what I choose to do with my life, I tell them I have a tatto just for them! Fortunately, my family udnerstands and is supportive....but if they did not, i would not care. This is my lfie I am saving here. I am not Yellow Stone Park, I am not supported by taxes, and if someone does not like my choices (which affect me and my health)...well...I have a tattoo to share with them.

[galadriel535 43]

sorry aobut all that typos... :/

[Sassafrassa 33]

I'm a big believer in keeping it to yourself for people who you aren't close with or who you know will not support you.

The people who know are my immediate family (6 all up), my best friend, 2 close friends and 1 co-worker! Overall I'm actually quite lucky and everyone has been supportive. But I think if I told more people I would get alot more negativity.

So thats who knows....And no one else will ever know! Well, until I get into a relationship but who the heck knows when that will be hahahaha

Edited January 2, 2015 by Sassafrassa

[SherB 220]

I am feeling pretty blessed. Everyone of my family members has been super supportive including a ton of extended family. A few of my friends may have mixed feelings but never voiced them to me.

[CountryGirl5584 115]

So I've already posted to this topic, but at first I only told people that needed to know I was having surgery and surprisingly got a really good response from everyone(including people I didn't think I would get support from). Yesterday, I decided I would start telling people at work. The one person I told was very supportive. The other one said I feel like that is just the jump start to a terrible diet. You won't be able to eat like a normal person. I told her eventually I will be able to eat just not as much and yes I will not be able to tolerate some foods. I told her what I consider "eating normal" got me in the position I am now. Now maybe it's wrong of me to think that she would be supportive because she's overweight(heavier than me) has had heart issues, on bp meds, 1 step from a heart attack, etc. But her comment just pissed me off. I thought she would understand that after failing several times at dieting that I made this choice to get healthier. Obviously, her comment got to me, but I just needed to vent and I will not let her comment stress me out! Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent.

[HealthArtLove 13]

I decide to be forth coming with friends and family. This was a huge change for me since I am very, very private. I knew the change would be drastic as I started losing weight, so I decided to be open. Surprisingly, my Mother and brother were the least supportive. My husband didn't want me to have the surgery, but he totally supported my choice. The rest of my friends and family were kind, supportive and loving. Found out I had a dear friend who was being sleeved six weeks before me. She wasn't telling anyone until I opened up.

Post op was hard and I am glad I built my support system months prior. I knew where I could turn for support and encouragement. My Mother has been downright awful! My husband has been supportive emotionally, physically and financially. And my friends, well they have been awesome. This choice has brought me closer to several of them, because for the first time I am opening up and allowing them to support me.

I guess that is my take away for this post. Many of us because larger because we didn't share, didn't communicate, didn't let others in. It was easier to be stoic and comfort ourselves with food. For me coming out of that shadow has been scary, uncomfortable and unnerving, but the payoff has been huge. So, don't give up on people just stay away from those who aren't positive. You may find support in the unlikeliest place, if you are open to it.

[blessedin08 5]

Same here. A select few know that I am going to MX next Monday. My Mother-In-Law just said yesterday..."You only have a few days to back out now....I sure wouldn't want any part of that. I'll just stay fat!" Well, the last time I checked YOU weren't the one going so YOU don't have any input in MY decision. I have gotten both positive and negative feedback from it, but the negative stories always stick out in my mind and make me question everything. Trying to stay positive and keep my faith that everything will go smoothly! But, yes, I agree, don't tell too many people unless you want it to affect your decision. Stay strong!

[chubbsey1 126]

I told everyone two years ago (Big mistake) My friends had a fatty intervention with a "medical professional" and the evils of (gasp) weight loss surgery. Needless to say I postponed my surgery (vsg next month) this time I just told immediate family and my two closest friends, so far so good.

[cruummbs 36]

For years my boyfriend allowed his family members to talk him out of surgery mind you he was getting bigger and bigger...this time I booked all his appointments and we supported each other he had surgery Dec 23 he lost 39lbs...he is happy...I have my surgery in March

[tlemieux220 138]

I finally broke down and told my Mother-In-Law. She is the one person I was not going to tell because she is the type of person who researches everything and can find something wrong.

The way I worked it in was to tell her about what my primary doctor found out about my back, which I have tilted pelvis and deterioration of my lower spine. I have already had a perment knee replacement on my right knee and I have hernia as well. I told her this would be a great way to help with all three, if I get the weigh off it will help with my back and knees and they can then take out the hernia at the same time.

Everyone else that I have told is very supportive of me doing this surgery. I have been trying to lose weigh for years now and just can't seem to lose anything.

I just found out that once I get the letter from my theripist then I can have my information submitted to my insureance, so I am so excited and can't wait until this whole process is over.

[LMS5558 1]

• I am having my surgery on Monday. I work in healthcare and insurance. I am 5'6" 235. They all say you don't need it but they aren't short of breath, have aching knees or aspirating while vomiting because of the hiatal hernia, I put it on my FB and had to delete because everyone jumped on me.

[cruummbs 36]

Life is short..you do what makes you happy ????