I haven't done anything right

[ELI.p.m 44]

I understand. I have screwed up too. I have eaten chips, although they were whole grain chips, and I've also had a taste of some fried foods, ice cream, cakes, etc. Although I have eaten a substantially lower amount than what I would've eaten in the past, it still isn't good for me to eat any of it. I got this surgery because I want to live a healthier lifestyle. So, I have to remind myself of that daily. What kind of support system do you have through your surgeon? It sounds like you don't have any of support. I have support, and I have yet to utilize it because I'm doing my best to do this on my own. But, it's not working for me. I haven't lost any weight in three weeks. I have to look at the bright side because I haven't gained any weight and I have lost quite a few inches. I need to buckle up my bootstraps and get myself together. So do you. You are not alone in your struggle. food was my best friend. That's how I got into this situation. So, I understand. The only thing that you can do is learn from your mistakes and keep pushing through.

My support system is my husband and BP honestly. I am from chicago and there's this hospital that helps uninsured people. They told me right off the bat that I wasen't going to get let's say "a team". It was a same day surgery. I got insured only for a year from a private charity it's not Medicaid or any government help. I told my self after the replies I got that I Wasent going to wait till Monday to get back on track I started the next morning Water Protein water protein. It's an amazing gift God gave me to start a healthy life and Myb a door to introduce my husband and his family to join me. I have yet to talk to them but saying NO THANKS to offered food is a good start for me. ????

[ELI.p.m 44]

I love all of the positive posts in support of you and what you're going through! I also suffered emotional abuse for years with people waving food or telling me what I should/shouldn't have. It started when I was a child so I didn't know that I didn't have to listen or give them any power But now, I absolutely stand up for myself and (try to) kindly tell people that I'm trying to improve my health & co-morbidities. If they don't listen or keep being negative, I stop the conversation.

I also think you're doing great! And I hope you give yourself credit for having the surgery & making all of the strides you have made. I understand not having money/access to a nutritionist. So if you want to watch some great YouTube videos from Dr. Weiner, who is a bariatric surgeon in Detroit, below is the link. He has some Great info on everything - nutrition, the timeline, and a great, healthy mindset/philosophy.

https://www.youtube.com/user/DrMatthewWeiner/videos

I am only 11 days post-op & I am also having challenges of food cravings, being bored with what I am having, etc. So I will try to get in with my counselor asap. I have appointments set for every Friday in January. Since you don't have insurance, there should be a local, possibly community counseling for you that is on a sliding scale. Hopefully you can find that because therapy can be a great additional tool.

All the best to you!!

Thank you ANY Tools are well appreciated and I will be watching these links.

[ELI.p.m 44]

I've been struggling with the Christmas Cookies around lately and have eaten one almost every day for a week! I know it's not the fault of other people but I also know that if they didn't bring them around, I wouldn't be eating them. Sooo... here's what I did and maybe what can help you too... I am writing my meals for the day in my food journal ahead of time. Then that is what I am eating. No if's, and's or but's at meal times. This ensures I get my Protein and eating healthy. Then and only then if I have room, I'm having ONE Christmas cookie. That may not be the proper thing to do, but it is what it is. After, the 1st when all this family leaves I'm dumping all these holiday treats in the garbage so it won't be around tempting me!

I did the exact same thing. I wrote down on MFP what I was having the next day. I've been doing so these past days. It helps a lot with the protein goals and After goals are met there's no more room!! Thank God!! After I do get a bit hungry at night a glass of Water helps through the morning. I keep it in my bedroom because if I go to the kitchen I WILL Open that fridge. It's good to acknowledge ones weaknesses and try to avoid triggers.

[Ceilidh Mor 3]

It isn't easy to take resposibility for youself, and your own well-being, I have made some progress by sharing my feelings with other sleevers, and now feel that wls is not a cure but that it has has given me an improved opportunity for well-being.

The alternatives for me were to become increasingly less able, and accept the prospect of a very early death.

[ELI.p.m 44]

Well, there's a lot of history in that family and there's nothing you can do about that. ELI, you take care of yourself, unfortunately these people are not part of your support system, they may not be bad people, but they are not going to help you achieve good health and you know its more than just losing weight. Who knows, you might one day inspire one of them by your success. Plato once said, "Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others."

I really liked your quote it opened my eyes and try to see the good and not the bad of this surgery. I've had so many break downs and regrets. Hopefully Iam Soooooo over it. Time to stop lingering in the past. ITS JUST FOOD!!! ( what I tell my self )

[tomi71 581]

I realize this sounds cliché but what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.

You can and will get through this! Remember you are not alone in this fight and I think its safe to say you have an army of people on these boards who have your back!

Only the present is exists; not the past nor the future. Concentrate on happiness right now. Easier said than done, I know but its a good habit to get into.

Keep your chin up! This too shall pass. ????

Edited December 28, 2014 by tomi71

[galadriel535 43]

You might try going to an overeaters ananymous meeting. You might find a support system there. I am appalled at the insensitivity of your family. You deserve good things sweetie. Try to do this one day at a time, make the best choices you can, and don't beat yourself up.

[Wynnie 186]

I am not clear on your pre-op regiment, BUT you are post op now. A few things to consider. Do you want to stand up from a chair with less pain, do you want to tie your shoes the first time you try, do you want to turn over in bed with far better ease, do you want to walk a few steps without being out of breath, do you want to stop worrying about taking a fall and no one being able to pick you up, do you want to stop being the person who goes nowhere and has nothing to wear, do you want anything? What do you want? You now have a tool, don't be afraid to use it to change for the better. Is it possible that the changes from weight loss will change your identity and where you will fit in afterwards, and you won't know who you are? Embrace change, all of it, both the mental and the physical. Change can be frightening. Seek out a nutritionist or a psychologist to assist you in accepting the changes. You have support here, but you may want to seek professional guidance as well. Wishing you every success

[VSG Linda 4]

I applaud you for your courage to post your struggles. It's good to share information so others in your position don't feel alone.

Everyone's journey is different. Chalk up learning bumps. I wish you much sucess!

[GenaW828 117]

It sucks that you don't have any support system at home or even a nutritionist. Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleaders your own support. You have to encourage yourself. Family can hurt you worse than strangers. When they make fun of you and waive food in your face get up and leave. I know this surgery wasn't a complete choice of yours like the rest of us how we thought it through and researched but you got it now and it's up to you to see it through. I know I have eaten things that I shouldn't but the thing is tomorrow is a new day and time to try again. Good luck!!!

[ELI.p.m 44]

It sucks that you don't have any support system at home or even a nutritionist. Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleaders your own support. You have to encourage yourself. Family can hurt you worse than strangers. When they make fun of you and waive food in your face get up and leave. I know this surgery wasn't a complete choice of yours like the rest of us how we thought it through and researched but you got it now and it's up to you to see it through. I know I have eaten things that I shouldn't but the thing is tomorrow is a new day and time to try again. Good luck!!!

Every days is new day to change a bit more for the better ????

[Melting Michele 4]

It's not too late !!! Don't look at it in a negative light !!!

You can do this !!! Get stubborn as can be and fight this fight !!!

Your surgery, Your weight, Your food intake..... it's all YOU. Not the others in your home.

Take control and find ways to take your mind off of food when you see others in your house indulging. Maybe go for a walk if possible. You are on this forum... and that's a good beginning. We are all rooting for you !!!

[ELI.p.m 44]

Thank you melting m ???? its been going better getting the most Water I can, really trying hard to get that Protein and staying away from the wrong foods. I already see the diff in my mood and they way I carry out the day...best of all my body ✌️???? hope everyone is doing good too. it's never late to change ????

[tfarr 270]

I'm sorry your family does that to you. That is completely unacceptable. Who does that? That's just mean.

I'm surprised the hospital paid 100% for your surgery? Seems strange. Unless it was like a charitable care plan.

I hope you get the help you need as far as a nutritionist and support group goes.

Most state insurances or Medicaid would probably cover a nutrition visit or two. Try and look into it. We all need support mentally and physically

Next time your family waves food in your face and laughs at you. Just tell them that it's real mature to do that. If they still do it, smoosh their face in their plate ????

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

don't get more than 16 oz of Water or more than 30-35 grams of protien i

@@ELI.p.m

its been over one week since you wrote

how have things been going???

were you able to start the year on the right foot??

not the left foot, the right foot

I hope so

i'm no shrink, but IMO

your obese relatives are not jealous of you

they are envious (difference)

as you lose weight

you are a success

then there they sit, still heavy

and all of a sudden you look and feel great, healthy et al

and again "there they sit"

maybe jealous and envious are interchangeable

quick side note - parents use to be "greeters" at our church

Andrew and Judith

one day they wore each others name tag in error

with a laugh i pointed it out that moms name is andy and dad is judith!!!

mom said "thats ok" we're both the same

interchangeable!!! (my word)

in-laws are definitely trying to sabotage you

i honestly don't think they realize how cruel and heartless they are being

people like them, just don't "get it" (hope its ok to say about you in-laws)

they are wrong/mean/etc etc

you and hubby can make your point again about "not the easy way out" stuff about you need to eat properly its hard with all that yummy food around

but i think you must eat at a different time (OP suggested that) they shouldn't have to accommodate you

but it sounds like they will never listen to you/and will continue to sabotage you and be rude

it must be extremely hard living in your situation

because of your tragedy with your burning house

your in- laws are generously letting you two live in their home

in other words i think you should tread lightly

i know it is hard to hold your tongue (years ago my daughter was in same situation with in-laws

gotta say - in normal life - you will find "friends" et al that also might try to "hurt" you with their opinions/ comments

you are saving your pennies and hopefully sooner than later you'll be out of there

you gotta stay strong (easier said than done)

push, push, push the Water and Protein

don't overeat

stay away from the goodies

think about your future and your new life that you WILL have

you are on the road to a healthier, happier, longer life

who deserves it more

i have confidence in you that you can/will be successful

make this a wonderful new year

good luck my friend

kathy

ps - i wrote you an earlier post

everything i said was true

but i think i was harsh (i'm not used to that about me )

sorry

Edited January 7, 2015 by proudgrammy