How did people take it?

puzleves · May 22, 2007

I know that in the end, the decision to take the surgery is up to me, but how did people around you take it when you said you where going for the surgery?

My husband is very supportive, I've sent him links that explains the procedures and all that, and he stands by me with whatever choice I make.

But one of my best friends seem to have the opinion that wanting to have weight loss surgery, lap band or other, is passively wanting to kill your self. :eek:

I tried explaining that I'm not going into this not knowing the risks (As there is risks in all surgeries), that I know the stories good and bad about it.

But from the stories she tells it seems like she is only taking into mind stories from people who haven't really followed "guidelines" properly (For example; Not follow dietary guidelines, overeating, not exercising.) Not to mention one of the op's she is referring to was done in the early 80's, I'd like to think medicine has evolved a bit since then! :rolleyes

And now apparently she thinks I don't care about her opinions and advice at all. That isn't it, just that I thought we where allowed to have different views, ya know?

I'm getting so frustrated, I feel like she is treating me like I'm to stupid to make this decision on my own! (Which is a sore spot with me, as I've had friends trying to run my life before)

I don't really know why I'm writing, I think it's mostly ranting

On a positive side, I called the doctors office today and I'm going to talk to the doc on Thursday! Then I'll see if they are willing to help with this at all! :biggrin1:

edieparks · May 22, 2007

I would feel like she really cares about me.

I would think you two will have to agee to disagree on this one.

When you are slim and healthy she will come around.

edie

puzleves · May 22, 2007

I would feel like she really cares about me.
I would think you two will have to agee to disagree on this one.

When you are slim and healthy she will come around.

edie

Ah, that I wouldn't mind at all, to agree to disagree I mean.

But I feel like it is along the line of "I'm right, your wrong, listen to me!"

ragdollx19 · May 22, 2007

Maybe she is scared of how this will affect your relationship? My best firend is overweight also but does not want to have WLS. We have had several conversations about how my surgery will affect our friendship. I would say most of the changes will be great. But it is a little scary when you are comfortable with how a relationship already is. I was concerned my friend would act weird about food around me because this has been something we have enjoyed together. Ultimately we decided this would work out good for her too.

You are lucky to have a friend who cares enough to tell you how she really feels!

Good Luck!

puzleves · May 22, 2007

Maybe she is scared of how this will affect your relationship? My best firend is overweight also but does not want to have WLS. We have had several conversations about how my surgery will affect our friendship. I would say most of the changes will be great. But it is a little scary when you are comfortable with how a relationship already is. I was concerned my friend would act weird about food around me because this has been something we have enjoyed together. Ultimately we decided this would work out good for her too.
You are lucky to have a friend who cares enough to tell you how she really feels!

Good Luck!

I am happy that she isn't afraid to tell me what she feels&thinks about it, that is for sure!

I just feel (And I might be taking it wrong, I'll admit that) that she thinks she knows best, and that I haven't thought this over well enough or something and am going into something I don't know enough about.

I wish at least we could just agree to disagree on this, like we have on other stuff we don't agree on.

Syrah · May 23, 2007

My friends have been very supportive and took me out for margaritas a few weeks pre-op! I think your friend is just worried.

One thing I worry about (which is stupid) is that people will be looking at me and wondering why I'm not dropping weight faster. Most people around here who've had surgery have done RNY, and that's what people are familiar with, so they are thinking that the weight comes off super fast (as it does with RNY). I don't know why I give a rip.

Guera · May 23, 2007

Linda,

I want you to know I am a single mother on one wonderful daughter and my mom and sisters (my whole family) was totally against me and I did not talk to many friends because I figured they would have the same attitude as my family did (what if you die, your going to risk killing yourself, what about your daughter). I want you to know its been 2yrs 3 months, and I feel wonderful (I lost 102 lbs in 1 1/2 yrs) I am in great health and am currently engaged and 2 months pregnant. AND MY OLDEST SISTER JUST HAD IT DONE 6 MONTHS AGO AND MY YOUNGER SISTER IS WANTING TO DO IT NOW. My mom has now agreed that it has done wonders for me. The only thing I can suggest is give your friend the information (links, etc) like you did your husband if you want her to try to understand, BUT the decision is ULTIMATELY YOURS and I believe you already have the approval from the MOST important person (your husband) to stand by you know matter what. So you do what you feel in your heart, whats right for you as a person, NOT what everyone else may think is right for you....Ever need anything, let me know! God Bless YOU!