Ashamed

[letsgetshrunk 9]

Hi I'm 38 years old had gastric.bypass September 5th and have only lost 50 lbs. My father passed in November and my world has been in a tail spin siblings acting foolishly and I'm always in the middle. So that's the back story the issue is I can't seem to loose any weight since then I found that my menstrual cycle this month I can't avoid chocolate omg I can't believe I ate chocolate. . Sorry if TMI. I need help getting back on a routine menu ideas snack ideas when I can't turn the cravings off.. anyone HELP.... I do go to the gym 5 days a week but it doesn't seem to be helping.

[Heidela71 18]

Hello letsgetshrunk,

I wish I had some advice to give you, and because I've not had my surgery yet, I really don't know what to suggest that might fulfill your cravings, but I want to offer my condolences in the passing of your father.

Exercise is usually a good way to work off stress and stave off cravings, but I really think you are dealing with more than just cravings, as grief manifests itself in many unusual ways. You are going through a lot of trauma all at one time. I think if I were in your position, dealing with the passing of my father on top of dealing with siblings acting foolishly, on top of trying to manage a new lifestyle of eating and recovery from surgery I would probably seek help from a professional. Please don't think I am suggesting you can't handle all of this on your own, but know that it is A LOT for ANYONE to have to handle on their own and you shouldn't have to.

Best wishes to you, and again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Jonathan Blue 311]

I am very sorry for your loss. Exercise can calm average emotional and mental stress, but what you are going through right now is massive. I would honestly recommend talking with your doctor and telling them what is going on and how you are feeling. Ask for help some sort of medication to get you over the hump and keep your stress level down to something you can manage. This is not a permanent solution, but one just to keep you to where you can handle everything you have going on until things have calmed down. I know some people have a negative stigma about using medication for this type of thing, but look at it like you did the surgery. It is a tool to put you in the position to be the most beneficial to yourself and others during such a hard time.

When it comes to craving chocolate there are some good recipes out there, but in your situation, I know the feeling and nothing but the real thing will calm it down. It is here that I highly recommend Russel Stover's sugar free Chocolates. They do not have as many calories and you don't have to feel guilty about eating a ton of sugar. This is not a permanent solution, but sometimes the situation calls for just this. Your nutritionist and surgeon may disagree, but learning to cope in the real world is tough and this is just one way to begin getting yourself back on track. After a while you wont need it anymore.

The last piece of advice is to stop beating yourself up about your weight loss and begin taking things one day at a time. You may even need to take it one morning or even one hour. Each time tell yourself I am going to go this long and eat right, then when you get there set another goal. Little by little you will find it affects you less. We all slip up. We all have times where our eating isn't perfect. The key is to just start fresh and take those baby steps. In the gym, maybe look into finding a way to box or if you have access to a heavy bag try punching something instead of perhaps running or walking. (I do not know what your current workouts are like) I recently started doing this while going through a more stressful and frustrating time and it did wonders to get out all of the anger and sadness. It was therapy.

You did the right thing coming to the community for help. We are all here for you and want to see you succeed. On a personal note, if there is anything at all I can do, I am here for you and my contact information is under my signature. Don't hesitate to get in touch with me for anything. This is just a little bump in the road, one of those things that makes our journey unique. I know you will get back on track and continue doing amazing things. I BELIEVE IN YOU!

[Samantha Ann 46]

I'm sorry you're going through so much. Make sure you get your Protein in. My body has stopped rejecting protein and since I can have it the pounds have been shedding off. Take 15-30 min a day to get your heart rate up and tell your family to stop acting like children. Take care of yourself. If you want to vent, send me a message!

[amberleigh84 1]

3.5 months to lose 50lb. In my eyes that's a great loss. Could you have lost that yourself before surgery?

You know what you've done wrong with the chocolate etc, just need to get your head back into it and make the next 3.5montgs count.

Good luck xx

[letsgetshrunk 9]

Thanks everyone for the positive feed back I have since my last post been on my best behavior eating wise.. the family issues have seemed to intensity and my dr. And I feel the stress over load has and is what is keeping me at this endless stall. So trying to remove myself from the drama of my family however it has been hard being my brother has targeted me and my family for his insanity to the point I have had him put on jail. So that being said I get up hit the gym and try to put my best foot forward and pray my journey is successful. Thanks again for all your thought and prays. All my love and support.

Jessica

[jessb418 42]

I had my surgery on 9/2 and I am down 50.pounds since surgery. I'm disappointed as well. Sorry ur going thru so much. I know it's hard to not compare. To me I never know if I'm doing well or not.

[letsgetshrunk 9]

I tried not to compare either but my dr. Was disappointed with my weight loss this far so I didn't really have a choice but to be disappointed.

[Cupcake 801]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, focus on one day at a time, go back to the basic get in your Protein, Water, and continue to exercise, keep your calories down you can do this we are all hear for you. Keep us posted my friend .

[Kimzie© 6]

It's natural that our cravings will still be there- it's why you often see so many forum posters talking about after surgery being the part that requires the most hard work.

50lbs is fantastic- when was the last time you dropped this much in 3.5months? It's incredible and you should be super proud of yourself!

I think of making comparisons as a bit like school. At school there was always the kids who read the book the night before and passed with A+. Frustrating for those (like me!) who were trying to keep up day to day but still didn't get the results of the other kids. But it didn't mean I hadn't developed as a person. It's the same with anything. There will always be other bypassers who have lost more at the same stage, some claiming it's easy, painless and weight is falling off. They're lucky and best wishes to them but there are so many different factors that we can't compare and must instead try to make the very best of our journey.

Don't be hard on yourself, and please don't feel ashamed. I believe shame is the most damaging of all emotions and makes us feel alone. We have enough of that in our lives from being big and exploited. You are doing great.

Lastly, I understand it's not cheap but perhaps book to see a dietician again. I find them surprisingly non-judgemental. There whole job is to help people with issues around food. Think of it as a refresher and a chance to be open and honest because they can act like a second conscience and carefully and kindly guide you away from bad choices.

I am seeing a dietician, psychologist and psychiatrist to 'hold hands around me' ensuring that when I can't eat the way I used to due to the bypass, I can deal with the psychological complications of suddenly not having food to turn to anymore. I'd really recommend it as what you have done is brave, challenging and rewarding but sometimes we need a bit of help reminding us of that!

Wow! Sorry for the essay! Xx

[onmywaytobeingfound 163]

I recommend a visit with your dietician. There's one at the place I go to that just tells it like it is and is full suggestions! She kicked my butt into shape before surgery and it's hung in there for me. Good luck on your journey:-)

[littlemomma 0]

My surgeon says to increase Water and Protein ( along with exercise) when your weight loss stalls... Hope that will help!

[Nessa0121 14]

I'm going to apologize in advance I'd I repeat what someone else has said, I didn't read all of the responses.

First off don't be so hard on yourself. It's okay! This is HARD and to add onto it the grief of losing your dad and sibling drama it's no wonder you're struggling.

Give yourself a break and move forward. A suggestion for some chocolate in the future without the guilt is pudding. sugar free pudding and you can even stick some Protein Powder in it.

Good luck and I'm very sorry for your loss