Feel like a grinch

[Julie norton 2,850]

Got past my late husband's first birthday. The 18th of dec

Then my 60th yesterday. Kinda surprised I got NO birthday wishes here. Guess I know who tries to remember birthdays.....Sigh. Jealous I guess....a peon I suppose

Now today Xmas eve and tomorrow the end of the emotional marathon

2015 sounds better

[tomi71 581]

Got past my late husband's first birthday. The 18th of dec

Then my 60th yesterday. Kinda surprised I got NO birthday wishes here. Guess I know who tries to remember birthdays.....Sigh. Jealous I guess....a peon I suppose

Now today Xmas eve and tomorrow the end of the emotional marathon

2015 sounds better

Happy Belated Birthday. I hope your 2015 and years to follow become uplifting, positive, and bring you happiness. You are in my thoughts.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Happy belated birthday. Sorry it's late!

[gowalking 10,790]

Happy Birthday Julie. All you need to do is get past these tough times. It may take a few years till this time of the year gets easier, but I promise it will. My late husband's birthday and our anniversary were five days apart...June 18th and June 23rd. It took a long time for that week to not bother me the way it did at the beginning.

You have to do what feels right to you but I always wished my husband a happy birthday and a happy anniversary. It always made me feel a little better to acknowledge those days and move on.

[Julie norton 2,850]

Thank you ????????. Trying to move thru my pity party breakdown.... Think it might be part of the healing????

Gasping for 2015

See the (adult) kids tomorrow too. Cheers me up. They requested moms meatloaf????. Italian and all...

But still. Made a fire and the lights are nice????enjoying them. Or the cocktail...hmmm

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Julie, what is it about meatloaf? Feels like love. My kids wanted my meatloaf this week too. We've had a hard year but we're doing okay. I understand the birthday feelings. My husband was so cold on my birthday every year. It made me feel bad. Holidays and anniversaries are for two or more people. Birthdays are just for you. He was an ass and selfish and it always hurt my feelings. One good thing about Christmas shopping this year is I didn't have to shop for gifts that he would deliberately not open or let sit for six months. Such passive aggressive shit. Just aggressive actually. I'm sorry to go off. I wonder if l'll ever have a relationship that's two directional. One can hope. Okay, enough Christmas Eve wine. Lol.

[Jugido64 78]

Julie,

I don't know about the loss of a spouse but yes Christmas has challenges. It is two days after the holiday that my mother passed away after a very long illness. Being a caregiver for all of my adult life created it's own issues but what I know is that we all cope in our own way. I used food and other substances for years. I've been clean/sober for almost 20 years and here I sit with 90 plus days into being banded and still struggling with the food addiction. The new year will be here soon enough and then it's one foot in front of the other as it always has been right? I hope you find freedom from this sadness that dwells within you right now. I hope the new year brings you a new freedom and a new happiness.

Juli

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Sorry, just read your posts now, sending you hugs and late birthday wishes !!! Anniversaries of some sort are hard on everyone, that special day meant something to you for some reason. Maybe try to remember the good things about that person, and maybe try to do something in his honor ? Maybe you could pick an organization or a hobby your late husband had , and donate some time or money towards someone who is in need ? That would be a way to honor his memory, and make it a little easier to cooe with yoyr loss. ? Every year in February ( her birthday) I send a small check to a certain Animal Rescue group that my late friend volunteered at. Everybody wins. Her memorial service was 3 yrs ago, a few days before my WLS. Ironic, was' nt it ? She had just lost her life to cancer, I was getting a new chance to live a healthier life. I try to remember those things and honor her life and others I have lost too. I wish you well. Hugs !!!!

[Julie norton 2,850]

Thank you dahlia dahling. Animal organizations work for me. He wanted firefighters Of course he got his wish (and will) completed to his instructions. Got a kick he wanted his remains in Lake Tahoe. Where we met. Ha. It was illegal and so I did it smiling and crying

[tomi71 581]

How are you doing Julie? Hope your new year is a happy one!

[Julie norton 2,850]

Thank you for asking about the new year! The first birthday/Christmas with out my husband was the hardest thing I've ever done. But it is a new year. I turned 60 and I hVe plans to go to Hawaii soon.

Much better. I've turned a bit of a corner ????

[gowalking 10,790]

Hawaii...how wonderful. Just one thing Julie..this is not always a linear journey so don't be surprised if you feel like you are going in the wrong direction. It happens and you just have to make it through. It will get better again and this is just the way it will be for a long time. Eventually, the better times will be longer and longer and you will come to an acceptance I hope. That's when you'll know that you will not only survive, but even be happy again. I promise it will happen.

[Julie norton 2,850]

Thank you walker.

You are such an insightful person. I truly appreciate the truth from those that have been through widowhood and back. Seems like the fog has lifted a bit.....still trying to get thru

My health is wonderful. That is the most positive thing I can say and my kids are coming Sunday for a family luncheon.

Thanks again. I value your posts toake me laugh. And cry

[tomi71 581]

Thank you for asking about the new year! The first birthday/Christmas with out my husband was the hardest thing I've ever done. But it is a new year. I turned 60 and I hVe plans to go to Hawaii soon.

Much better. I've turned a bit of a corner ????

Glad to hear you are feeling better! I am even happier to see you are taking a nice trip. It is important to take care of yourself! Have a safe, fun, and relaxing trip!

[MarieMarie 346]

Enjoy your children. Mine are my life line