Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

My family feels I should at the table



Recommended Posts

@@Sexy Granni I think it depends on where you are (mentally/emotionally) in your weight loss journey. Have you had surgery? Which one? How long ago? How are you feeling about joining the family?

In my opinion - this weight loss decision is about YOU and no one else. We have spent our lives doing for others and making our choices depending on what others want or think. When I made the choice to have the Gastric Sleeve, on Oct 20th this year, it was a choice that I made for myself and no one else. Along with the decision to have the surgery came the decision to begin making all my live choices based on what I want/need/think rather than what others want/need/think. I know it may sound very selfish. I thought so too. However, both you and I are now grandparents; which means we have already spent most of our lives doing for others.....our spouse....our children.....and now our grandchildren. I had to decide....at some point before I die.....to start making choices that make ME happy. Sure, making my family happy also made me happy. But, I needed to be truly happy with "MY" life. It started with the decision to have the surgery and to begin to make choices regarding my health/diet, etc based on what is best for me in order to be successful.

To this end I say that if you feel you're strong enough emotionally/ psychologically to attend a restaurant meal with your family, AND, stay true to your weigh loss lifestyle, Go For It. If not - or if it will cause you too much stress/anxiety or you feel you make make too many bad food choices - I say don't do it. They will eventually understand; if not now - eventually they will.

Best of luck to you in your journey to be healthy and truly happy.

Holiday Blessings, etc..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Years ago, I watched a British movie called Bartleby. Bartleby gets a job as a secretary/receptionist and every time his boss asks him to do something, Bartleby says "I prefer not to." He must say it about 1,000 times during the movie, and you almost change the channel many times, but Bartleby's insistence draws you back in. Be a Bartleby for a while, and speak up for yourself. Tell them you prefer not to, but if they want to start a new tradition, they are welcome to come to your place for Breakfast and you can prepare a "make your own omelet" bar for everyone. Clearly, the family doesn't care how YOU feel, so don't feel so guilty about standing your ground.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LadyVeteran1

      Sleeve surgery is on April 14th.  I am counting the days!!  Can't wait!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      Down 33 lbs and slightly stalled, but I'm gonna reevaluate and push through. I started back to work last week after 2 years of being disabled due to mental health as well as my weight. It's a great job and I'm just so happy to have this opportunity at a second chance at life. Hope everyone is having their best journey ❤️ Together, we got this!
      · 2 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Great work Anna! Keep it up 😁

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 1 reply
      1. stevieoriole

        Am feeling this right now. My surgery date is 4/1. Sign the consent tomorrow. I feel like I overloaded myself with too much info, too many opinions. Got to the point where I was wondering if I should do this. Then I thought of my reasons for taking this step and that settled my nerves. Still get moments of doubt but am striving forward. Am just going to follow my book from the surgeon. Joined this because I was told by my dietician that I should do this for support

    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×