How Do You Handle Comments About Your Weight Loss?

[Alex Brecher 10,515]

One result of losing a lot of weight is getting a lot of comments about it. The comments can be especially frequent during the holidays when you see friends and family members who haven’t seen you since last year – which could be 100 pounds ago! Some bariatric surgery patients find the comments encouraging, while others find them insulting or discouraging. How do you handle comments about your weight loss?

• I love when someone notices my weight loss because it makes me feel proud. I say “thank you” and feel more motivated.It depends who says it and how they say it.
• I feel good when it’s someone who truly supports me, but I feel ashamed or angry when it’s someone who just seems to be calling attention to me.
• I don’t like it because I think people should be more considerate, and I don’t mind telling them so.
• I feel embarrassed, but I don’t say anything because I don’t want to make a big scene.
• I haven’t lost much weight yet because I haven’t gotten surgery yet or I just got it, but I’m reading this poll carefully to think about how I’ll handle the comments next year!
• Other. Read my answer in the conversation below!

Mark your answer, and explain it in the conversation below. We want to know what you think about these comments, and how you respond to them. Your answers can help other weight loss surgery patients turn these comments into positive motivation!

[Elode 8,093]

Simple "Thank you".

[Rogofulm 2,440]

I say, "Thanks very much, that's what I'm going for!" Fact of the matter is, I only intend to make this journey one last time, so I'm basking in the moment knowing full well that in a couple of months the compliments will start drying up. Who knows when the very last "Wow, you look great!" will come? And anyone new I meet from here on out will have never known me as a big guy. So while this has been a great ride, I know the real work is ahead... without all those motivating compliments. So enjoy them while they last!

[The Candidate 3,215]

I'm still pre-op, but a few years back when I lost a lot of weight (76 pounds - which I eventually gained back and more), I was surprised how differently I felt depending on who made the comment. If it came from someone I knew and trusted, and had always supported me, I was over the moon in happiness. Literally those kind of comments made me feel so good I wished I had a way of bottling them up to save for later, so I could experience the high all over again.

On the other hand, if it came from someone who wasn't close to me, or a person who had previously treated me as less than they were, because of my weight, I didn't enjoy it as much. I was much more guarded and suspicious as to their ulterior motives. In the back of my mind I was always thinking how strange it was that this person, who never made a point of engaging me in conversation beforehand, now was deliberately seeking to engage me in conversation. My responses in return were much more monosyllabic and curt, without my even realizing it at the time.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Tomorrow will be my 3 year Bandanniversary ( 3 yrs already ??) , but I loved the 1st 7 months after surgery, because the weight was falling off and for the 1st time in a long time, the compliments started coming in ! Now that I'm in "maintenance phase " im still getting nice looks and comments about how nice I look. I always make sure I dress nice every day ( thank you Goodwill !) and pay attention to my hair, nails and make up too, smile alot, and people respond to that. I' ll take whatever compliments that come my way !

[Kindle 8,667]

My feelings are kind of mixed...I'm proud of my accomplishment and appreciate the comments, but still a little embarrassed as I'm not big on attention. If they say "you look great, have you lost weight?" I say yes, thanks . And then they usually ask how I did it, so I end up explaining all about my surgery and eating Protein and avoiding carbs (in a nutshell). Fortunately, after a year, most people I know have already seen my weightloss, have asked all their questions, know all about traveling to Mexico for WLS, and now we have other things to talk about.

And all the positive comments and resulting conversations are kind of my motivation for continued success....since everyone knows I had WLS, I'll be DAMNED if I become the one they can make this comment about.... "I knew someone who lost a lot of weight after surgery and then gained it all back in a few years"!! Nope, not gonna happen.

Edited December 13, 2014 by Kindle

[B-52 7,113]

I say "Thank You...Dr's Orders"

Although I have not had any compliments in a while, it's old news and and many people forget I was ever fat...or so it seems.

[Bandista 7,466]

I got the "you've lost like a whole person!" comment the other day and found it very embarrassing. We are all different but I don't like this kind of comment. "You look great" is great but I don't like the comments that seem to involve a lot of scrutiny. I'm still the same person, dammit. Please don't like me better now that you find my body more socially acceptable.

[gowalking 10,790]

I agree with all the comments but I love what Bandista wrote. Compliments are OK but when you are called out on how big you were, it's uncomfortable. Believe me....I know how fat I was..you don't have to remind me. I'm actually glad that most comments about my weight loss have leveled off. Now I get mostly comments on the pretty dress or outfit I'm wearing and not 'how much have you lost?' Way more preferable in my opinion.

[Djmohr 6,965]

It always makes me feel fantastic when someone compliments me on how great I look. So far I have not had anyone say anything quite so rude and I am not sure how I would feel or handle it but have to believe those folks close to me would not.

My cute little Granddaughter keeps saying " MoMo, you look so different!"

It's kind of funny when you get comments from the little ones.

Anyway, I will take compliments always as a positive, it is just who I am.

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

I am not comfortable with personal comments from strangers or acquaintances, even if they are meant to be complimentary. So when people compliment me on my weight loss, I just say thank you and then talk about how much better my health is or change the subject altogether.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

I too, have not yet had surgery but a number of years back lost a great deal of weight. This is how a typical conversation would go:

Person: Wow, you look great, have you lost weight?

Me: thank you

Person: (looking confused) how much have you lost?

Me: thank you

Person: I asked you a question

Me: sorry, I didn't hear anything you said after "you look great", because really, is there anything to say after that??

[buckleysmom 45]

I agree!!!

[russm 18]

I work throughout Micronesia and in that culture it is acceptable to comment on personal appearance. I would not be as comfortable if the comments came from an American colleague but when I am working in the islands I know that they will make it a big deal and I just go with the flow.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

[Christinamo7 4,042]

I just say "thank you"

most people know about my surgery - and I am happy to talk about that if someone is considering it, but I don't "need" to talk about it either so - you know.

now, when my kids haven't seen me in a while and walk past me, that's kind of funny - and of course when my husband thinks something is, er, especially nice, that is fabulous - but otherwise if they notice fine, if they don't fine.

I am very pleased with how my body is changing and the things I can do now, and at the end of the day that's what really matters.