Not feeling sure about going through with WLS...

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@, since I'm the one who made the "... until they hit rock bottom" comment that you took exception to, I'll clarify why I said that.

I wasn't being as snarky as you think I was when I made my earlier post. I meant what I said. Many of us (not all) already hit our individual rock bottoms, however we defined that. If you aren't at your rock bottom now, you may be one of those who has to do so to demand change.

You're not 40 yet. You're 5'4" and weigh 270. You have PCOS. Fortunately, you can still exercise some (do light yoga, walk at Disneyland) and carry on some activities of daily living, although I bet you don't do some things you used to be able to do.

Here's the problem: You won't remain 40. You won't remain 270 pounds. You won't remain as active or able as you are now. Why? Because nobody does. Unhealthy, heavy people who can't lose weight just get heavier and less mobile and develop more and more comorbidities.

You could wait until you're 42 years old and weigh 300 pounds. Or 45 and weigh 350. Or 50 and weigh 450. You could wait until you're no longer able to leave your house before you are desperate to change your life.

When you came here, you engaged with people who already realized they were past a point they could tolerate. Before surgery, we too were nervous, afraid, not sure what the future held, uncertain that we would be among the successful 50% of WLS patients. But we still leapt into the unknown.

Most of us rejoice that we leapt, because our lives are so much better than they were pre-op, which makes some of us (including me) a tad evangelical about WLS. BTW, if I had found another solution to my weight problem that worked better than WLS, I'd be evangelical about that instead.

Finally, I do agree with @@Kindle who said, "... in the end, you need to be 110% committed to the emotional and mental part of WLS or you will be miserable and the surgery would have been a waste of time and money."

Edited December 13, 2014 by VSGAnn2014

[Mrs. Reid 392]

I think it is really important to go into WLS feeling 100% positive that it's the right choice for you. I think that is why most programs make you jump through a few hoops before you can do it. It's not just for the education about WLS, it's to give you time to think about what WLS could mean for your life. I had been thinking it over for 3 years. I made a serious effort to lose weight on my own...and did...I lost about 50 pounds...then gained it all back. I tried hiring personal trainers, buying dvds, workout buddies, joining clubs...everything. At my checkup in August I found out my blood pressure was getting worse, I was officially pre-diabetic, my kidneys were showing signs of deterioration, my cholesterol was way to high and the arthritis in my hips was getting worse. Over the next 5 - 10 years, I'm looking at a hip replacement, possible kidney transplant and heart disease. My next question for my doctor was "Can you give me a referral to the barbaric clinic?" She said "Yes." and so the journey began.

[nolongerhere 100]

I'll give everything you all said serious consideration.

Edited December 18, 2014 by islandsneezer

[Midtown girl 44]

I am worried about the loose skin too. I can't afford a trainer to show me what I need to do. I am barely paying for my gym membership. Hopefully some one can give is advice

I have worked out religiously for over a year without a trainer. Internet is a great resource. Google the workout regimens or videos.You can work out without a trainer or an expensive gym membership.

[onmywaytoonederland 236]

I am 55 years old. It took me years to get to the fabulous weight of 250 (60 gained in the last year due to quitting smoking....yes I said 60 pounds). I tried every diet out there and even ordered strange concoctions over the internet. Today I am 10 days out of surgery and have already lost 15 pounds (lost 24 on my own before surgery) I can honestly tell you that I know that my life in the next few months, my activity level, my physical health, my hip, knee, back, feet pain are going to dramatically decrease. I am so excited about the future! I was so afraid to have the surgery. I told myself that I lost 24 I could get the rest off, and I probably could have....but it would just return with a vengeance and bring a few pounds of friends. I finally had enough and decided to live this next chapter of my life for ME. I talked myself into looking at the surgery as a gift to myself. I can already tell it is one of the best gifts I have ever gotten. Educate yourself, sweetie. Read all that you can on morbid obesity and the effects on the body's organs. It is not pretty. I sure wish I would have had the means to do this surgery years ago, but I didn't, taking care of 3 kids and putting them through college and an invalid mother took all of my time and resources. Be kind to yourself, educate yourself, ponder and come to your own decision. Everyone has tried to get you to "see the light", but only you can open the blinds. Good luck on your journey, may it be a happy and healthy one. I wish you only the best.

[Skywalker 170]

For the first one, I have had many gos at a low calorie restricted diet with Weight Watchers. I don't find it daunting, I just got really upset when it didn't work or worked slowly (all the while I was still hungry). I don't mind limiting certain things, really, but when it doesn't work and I don't feel in control of the weight situation it just deflates my morale.

About the loose skin, no I wouldn't really want that either, but what I hate even more is being obese everywhere and not able to hide (with sweaters or whatnot) the way I look. As a fat person I don't feel attractive at all.

Maybe you have a different viewpoint than I do on those two issues, I was just giving you my take and why they were both no hindrance at all to my decision to get the procedure.

[blondebomb 580]

wow...I have read the comments and I tend to agree ...I have a question or 2 IF you dont mind me asking or sharing I dont want to get into others business but since this is a learning question/answer support forum Im diving in...you can either answer honestly or just say its none of my or our business..1. you mentioned you have PCOS. I do have a niece with this also..it does an can contribute to the weight issue alot bc its hormonal. are you seeing a gyn or endocrinologists for this or being treated? and are they referring you to a WLS to have this done? have they mentioned maybe having a hysterectomy to remove/resolve this hormonal issue an then take supplimental hormones in replace of the ovaries? Is your dr treating this with bc pills..etc? Im sorry..I dont mean to pry...theres reasons why I am asking. I had PCOS from a very young age...I started gaining weight at 17...used bc pills several yrs..it took me a yr an half to get pregnant with both of my kids. I started getting soo sick in my mid 20s. Im over 50 now. I have had my share of yrs of yo yo if you wanna call it dieting..the more I dieted the bigger I got. my weight was up an down over 30 yrs. yrs ago when I reached 200 I had myself convinced I still looked good. but my body was breaking down fast. I didnt think I looked bad. I had a total hysterectomy in my middle 30s. then menapause them issues...then I couldnt hardly move joints, stiffness etc...15 yrs down the road I had developed over 12 differant dx...autoimmune disease, thyroid disease etx..now thyroid med for rest of my life.....2. is this not YOUR choice to have this WLS bc if not Im kinda confused of why your here? Im not being mean or judging just trying to help you ...with the top 2 issues you mentioned to begin with I get the idea it almost sounds like your limitaton of amount of food you would be able to eat BOTHERS you or you use food as a security blanket which most ppl do but there is also underlyning reasons WHY ppl eat an thats to calm oursleves down with comfort...but yet you made another comment you dont eat MASSIVE amounts...am I missing something here? and I have heard of plus size women wanting to stay plus size not only for their security blanket AND their hubs security. (not saying this is you guys) but let me tell ya something from my journey..I agree with others..I had myself convinced I wasnt that over weight for yrs! it was ok...this past yr I put on 50 pds from not eating what I thought wasnt much calories...WRONG!!!! I was brainwashed..I did it to myself..but I had to make my own personal desision I didnt ask my hubs or worry about him..this was MY health at severe risk an obese WILL cause BAD health issues if you dont have them now it will happen. I woke up one day an said IM DONE! NOT carrying around this FAT suit any more. trying clothes on was exhausting! clothes getting from 1x to 2x almost to a 3x..yes I was 100+ over weight! I am 5 months out an over 80 pds down now..I thought I knew myself. boy was I wrong..I am seeing my true self for the first time in my life. an I am loving it. I had been thru 10 yrs of therapy (talk therapy) I got to the underlyning issues..I knew it was my time and ready. you MUST be READY for YOU an NO ONE ELSE. an as far as loose skin..hell yea it might happen. but to me I told the hubs listen if I am doing this an I need a little help with some parts you bet Im having it done. thats not my worry for now. later I'll deal with it...one step at a time. but ya know, I want to be around to live with my hubs for as long as possible. this is your decision be absolutly sure going in ..if its others steering you here then it sounds like its something you dont really want. I made up my mind an with 5 months out I eat sensible I use the myfitnesspal an for my stomach size I do fine. I dont NEED food for comfort anymore. I eat to live not live to eat. plz dont get offended thats not my goal. best wishes hope you make the right choice for you an you only...but until you get the PCOS an hormones starightened out first an fixed Im not sure if this is right for you ...my thyroid had to be working right in order to have this done an work properly or it would have been useless...I got it addressed an fixed an it works appropriatly now.

[SuperDave 1,115]

If you are not ready to commit to the new lifestyle, then you are not ready to commit to the new lifestyle. It is that simple. There is nothing wrong with that. It is your choice. There is no use having surgery if you don't think you will stick with the rest of the program. You could possibly do more damage than good.

Good luck with whichever option you decide!

[Chrystee 838]

I have PCOS too, and you are eating more than you describe in your post. I'm sorry, but it is true. I'm active, I go to crossfit, I run, I bike, I spin.. but I eat too much food.. Too many carbs, and too much sugar. When I lower my carbs, watch my calorie intake, i lose. Slowly, but I do. My problem is I eat too much and am always 'hungry'. I'm hoping the tool of the sleeve will help my portion problem.

[Chrystee 838]

I think a lot of us see the same excuses that we told ourselves before deciding on surgery.

[Chrystee 838]

There is TONS of stuff on the web that you can look at for free to tell you what to do.. seriously.. you can look at youtube for form, but the biggest thing is to lift heavy weights.. do some cardio.. do that every day.

[Chrystee 838]

Loose skin is all about genetics, age, and amount you have to lose. A person in their 20s with 70 pounds to lose is going to have fewer skin problems than someone in their 40s with the same amount. At 5'4" and almost 300 you have at least 150lbs to get to a normal BMI. If you're in your 20s with good genetics you're still going to have some loose skin, but not as much as someone in their 50s that's been carrying that weight for 30 years.

The loose skin is not the end of the world though. Clothing does a really good job of hiding it. Without clothes it's going to be there, but you'll be so much more mobile and flexible that I'll bet your husband enjoys things a lot more!

I also had PCOS. It took 1 year of severe low carb dieting in my 30s to get pregnant, and even when I did the docs considered it a miracle. I was able to lose weight with PCOS, but only with keeping carbs under 25g. PCOS is first and foremost an insulin problem. Because I could never stay at a severely restricted calorie level or a restricted carb level, I gained it all back. My surgery was 1/13 and I've been maintaining for a year. I don't have as much restriction now. I maintain by eating Protein first always and exercising 3-4 times a week for 60min. Since I've reached goal I've been able to do so many things on my bucket list. Ran 3 half marathons and a relay from Miami to Key West, learned to scuba dive, and I'm able to be active with my son every single day which sets a good example for him.

My only regret is that the sleeve wasn't available to me 25 years ago when I was in my 20s. What a life changing experience it has been. Good luck with your decision. It's definitely not something you want to take lightly as it is a permanent solution.

Good point.. I also belong to soulcysters, and if you have PCOS, you really do need to follow a lower carb diet to maintain it.

[deedadumble 1,033]

Good point.. I also belong to soulcysters, and if you have PCOS, you really do need to follow a lower carb diet to maintain it.

I was on soulcysters for a long time. It's a great resource for those with PCOS.

[SuperDave 1,115]

I don't think people are suggesting that you go somewhere else. You asked for opinions from people who have been through the process, and that is what you got. Some people have different experiences and outlooks on things than others. You can't expect everyone to think the way that you do or to have had the same problems that you have had. That is life.

Good luck with your appointment!

[Cody's mom 247]

Believe me, it's better to eat to live, than to live to eat. It takes work. If your happy with yourself and your life, don't do it.. Personally I was so ashamed and embarressed how I looked I stopped living, this was my last attempt to regain my selfworth. It truly is a lot easier than you'd think, at least it's been for me. I'm only half way to my goal weight, it's been a slow but steady ride, but it's something I want, so I'll get there. Good luck!

Edited December 17, 2014 by Cody's mom