Not feeling sure about going through with WLS...

[dc0520 263]

Here's the thing. Every doctor and nutritionist have differing opinions just like everyone of us on this forum do. Some can be so set in their thoughts that they forget there are other perspectives, but I've found it all comes from the same heart. They just so badly want you to experience the great things they are.

HOWEVER, the truth is surgery isn't always the answer. There are plenty of people who fail on it. It's a very personal choice and I for one chose without hitting rock bottom.

Like I shared...I have PCOS and wasn't always overweight. I spent a year following doctors, nutritionists and personal trainers to only lose 15 lbs. All my hard work and honesty for so little was truly heartbreaking. I have a fantastic diet and exercise regularly - it took me 8 weeks after surgery not to regret it. I had severe nausea that was debilitating. I've had fellow patients go through severe negatives because of this surgery so the questioning is warranted. No one can tell you if its right for you. No one knows how your body will react. Co-morbities can present themselves differently in each patient which is why one can lose 70 lbs and I only lost 15 in a year.

I myself had to walk away from forums several times because things I've said were taken the wrong way. I hope you listen to yourself and your heart. I went back and forth for 3 years listening to all sides of the argument.

love,
deanna

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Worse how?

If you're not ready, you're not ready.

But if you wanted people to give you reasons to have the surgery I think there have been several.

Ultimately it's up to you.

[bikrchk 1,313]

#1 This was NOT what I expected as a pre-op, but I don't feel like I'm on "a low calorie restricted diet", AT ALL. Quite the opposite, actually. The restriction of the sleeve has given me the freedom to eat what I like exactly how I like it. I worked my way up to 1000-1200 calories during the loss phase, which sounds low if you've not had WLS, but is on the high end of what I see most WLS patients eating. I adopted an exercise routine which has given me a metabolic boost and allows me to maintain nicely on 1400-1500 calories per day which is a lot when you only eat 1/2 cup of anything! Pasta, yep. pizza, yep, a cookie or two, yep! (never in the same sitting anymore!) The difference now is that I do not over eat these things! I can't. It hurts when I do so I've learned not to do it, (these are painful lessons, lol). So, I feel like I miss out on NOTHING. I have fewer issues around food cravings because nothing is "forbidden", (other than carbonation which I don't care for anymore as it makes me uncomfortable now). Some folks CHOOSE to swear off certain foods. This is their CHOICE, and it works for them but is not the only path to success. I do not "diet" anymore. I DID food journal for the first year and 1/2 until I'd been maintaining for 6 months as I needed to understand what patterns work for me, ensure I got enough Protein and know what that looks like. I weigh once per week. If I go 5 pounds outside my "zone", I journal again and cut back until I'm back where I belong. I choose Protein first and still get 75-85g most days. I take my supplements. I exercise 5x per week, (this was not even a consideration before). For the changes I've made, I now enjoy being free of all the meds I was on preop for blood pressure, anxiety, cholesterol and asthma, normal labs and size 4 skinny jeans! HAPPY? I am ECSTATIC! The trade offs have been totally worth the life changes!

#2 The lose skin is... what it is. I can't expect that the skin that has carried 75-100 extra pounds for the last 30-40 years could "bounce back" with perfect tone. However, it's not as bad as I anticipated. Exercise helps some. What I've learned is that most of us will live with some degree of body dismorphia, maybe for the rest of our lives. Some days I feel like I look great, some days I feel like a busted can of biscuits! At almost a year and 1/2 out, I can't really trust my "feelings", so I've adopted a "fake it till you make it" mentality that works for me most of the time! What "helps"? Looking at old pictures, the new boyfriend calling me "hotness" and telling me how beautiful I am and the open mouth stare of old acquaintances or exes as they try to figure out who the hot chick rocking the skinny jeans is!

WORTH IT? I would NEVER go back! That said, you need to be prepared to make certain lifetime changes or you will make yourself miserable. So mull it. Chat it up with a counselor and the hubbs. Research it. Attend some face to face support groups if there are some for WLS in your area. Learn from those who are living it. This is a HUGE decision and not the answer for everyone. Best of luck in your decision.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Some people are comfortable getting bariatric surgery at a fairly low BMI. I was like you - nervous about the "consequences" and put off revising from my failed band for a very long time.

In the end, it was a life or death matter. I was healthy fat, until I wasn't and then i was going downhill fast. Bad knees, sleep apnea, borderline blood pressure, blood sugar creeping up year after year... looked like hell. I wasn't even 50 and felt about 85. So, at some point, i chose living over disability and early death.

I have no idea where you are in the process - but if you really don't think it is worth it, don't do it. It is hard, harder than you might think and it requires long term grit and determination to be successful. Your head has to be 100% in the game.

I am 3 years from my sleeve (Dec 11, 2011) and maintaining a 160# weight loss. I went from a very high BMI (I think around 52-53) to a normal BMI around 23-24. It was life changing, soul saving absolutely the best thing i have done for myself - however, it's been no cakewalk and maintenance takes as much if not more effort than losing over the long haul....

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

To be honest, if I had come across these boards before I committed to surgery I would have been terrified. I did my research by calling a few few programs in the area and attending local support groups.

Hopefully I haven't contributed to those negative feelings. If I have I apologize.

It's normal to have doubts. This is major surgery. I can honestly say my life wasn't miserable presurgery. Yes I have chronic health conditions, but I wasn't lonely. I didn't feel ugly or embarrassed. I think I've mentioned this before, but for me it really was quality of life. This surgery in addition to helping me lose weight has helped manage my other conditions. Personally I think it was worth it. I will say I think you are incorrect about your #1 concern. It's not restricting and if you manage it properly it's not a life of low calorie foods.

As for your #2 concern, I think you are under estimating your partner.

If there are any support groups in your area seek one out and attend in person. I wish you well.

[JerseyCityGal 231]

You really don't hear what people actually say, do you?

What you were told, by two people who have PCOS - same as you, that they were able to lose weight. PCOS is not an excuse. It's harder, but it can be done. I went swimming every morning for 45 minutes before work, not dog paddling but Olympic size pool laps. Then I hit the gym, with a personal trainer, 5 nights a week. On weekends I literally walked for miles. If you want to lose weight, surgery or not, this is the kind of effort it takes for someone with PCOS. You think it's commendable that you are able to walk. You need to do a heck of a lot more than making it up the steps or the hill to your house to lose weight unless you live on the summit of Mt. Washington and park at the base.

No one said you have no right to be happy or healthy. I've read the thread twice, and there is no such post where you are told this. That's your belief, not what anyone said.

Yes, being almost 300 lbs and 5' 4" is abusing your body. There are thousands of reputable websites that detail what all that excess weight is doing to your body. Everything from increasing your heart attack risk six-fold to wearing out your joints. Even your chances of getting cancer are increased. Would you subject someone you loved to something that would do these things? Nooooo.

Your digestive issues and allergies don't prevent you from eating foods with a lower carb, sugar, fat and calorie content, do they? Never in my life have I seen someone besides you claim that a bagel with butter is a "healthy food choice". bread is not your friend.

For instance, Chickpeas vs Black Beans. You chose chickpeas. 1/2 cup of chickpeas has 269 calories, 4g fat, 45 carbs and 15g of Protein. 1/2 cup of black Beans is 90 calories, 0.5 g fat, 12 carbs and 7g of Protein. You could eat three times as many black beans as chickpeas and still be better off. 45g of carbs for a 1/2 cup serving of anything just will not work if you are trying to lose weight. Your carbs have to be restricted. There isn't anyone who is going to tell you that you can have all the carbs you want and you are going to lose weight. It doesn't work that way. It's like you can't even imagine that there are better choices than the ones you have made.

If you want to lose weight, you will have to change your mindset first, then your habits. You think there is nothing you can learn or be taught because you believe you have a "healthy lifestyle". You don't. Just because you aren't eating a tray of cupcakes at every meal doesn't mean you have made the best choices.

I want to loan you a book, on Kindle. You can use the Kindle app on your phone or computer to read it, you don't need a Kindle. It's by Dr. Duc Vuong. He's the weight loss surgeon that treated TLC's 900 lb man. He wrote a book about Gastric Sleeve Success, and it's great. It explains what you have to change and why, along with explaining the entire sleeve process. If you message me your e-mail address, I'll Kindle lend you the book.

[Midtown girl 44]

I too have been diagnosed with PCOS and have no trouble losing weight. My issue is keeping it off! I am tired of losing 60-80 lbs only to gain them back and then some. That's why I am having the surgery. Don't give up, it is absolutely possible to lose weight with PCOS with or without surgery. It doesn't seem though that your head is in it yet.

[Dee951 28]

@

I am worried about the loose skin too. I can't afford a trainer to show me what I need to do. I am barely paying for my gym membership. Hopefully some one can give is advice.

As far as your self love you are still going to be you just smaller :-)

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I'll say this. I am a believer in fat acceptance. I'm not advocating anybody just be fat an unhealthy, but I do believe everyone has a right to be treated with respect regardless of their size. I don't think the "tough love" some of the posters are trying to share is going to be all that helpful. What I will say is this. On a forum like this you get personal experience and opinions. You need to talk to professionals. I also think that if you are this unsure perhaps you need to step back and regroup. Talk to professionals locate an in person support group, preferably one facilitated by bariatric professionals. Give yourself 6 mths. If you can't lose weight and maintain it then reconsider the surgery.

I can't afford a trainer either. I have a gym membership and I use that. I have found however that the trainer at my gym are very nice and helpful. If you ask them what machine works for legs, and how to use it they will show me, so I've been doing that.

I don't think WLS is a miracle. I think the folks that had low self esteem before the surgery will still have it afterwards.

[JALUVIC 79]

I'm not sleeved yet (early January), but I'm 58 with a few side issues (high blood pressure, sleep apnea, aches and pains). I wish I had had the opportunity to do it earlier in life. When I think of all the activities and fun times, socializing, etc that I have missed out on, all I can say is that for those of you that are younger you will have such a better way of life, and will avoid some of the issues that a lifetime of carrying 100 extra pounds can do to your body over time.

[deedadumble 1,033]

Loose skin is all about genetics, age, and amount you have to lose. A person in their 20s with 70 pounds to lose is going to have fewer skin problems than someone in their 40s with the same amount. At 5'4" and almost 300 you have at least 150lbs to get to a normal BMI. If you're in your 20s with good genetics you're still going to have some loose skin, but not as much as someone in their 50s that's been carrying that weight for 30 years.

The loose skin is not the end of the world though. Clothing does a really good job of hiding it. Without clothes it's going to be there, but you'll be so much more mobile and flexible that I'll bet your husband enjoys things a lot more!

I also had PCOS. It took 1 year of severe low carb dieting in my 30s to get pregnant, and even when I did the docs considered it a miracle. I was able to lose weight with PCOS, but only with keeping carbs under 25g. PCOS is first and foremost an insulin problem. Because I could never stay at a severely restricted calorie level or a restricted carb level, I gained it all back. My surgery was 1/13 and I've been maintaining for a year. I don't have as much restriction now. I maintain by eating Protein first always and exercising 3-4 times a week for 60min. Since I've reached goal I've been able to do so many things on my bucket list. Ran 3 half marathons and a relay from Miami to Key West, learned to scuba dive, and I'm able to be active with my son every single day which sets a good example for him.

My only regret is that the sleeve wasn't available to me 25 years ago when I was in my 20s. What a life changing experience it has been. Good luck with your decision. It's definitely not something you want to take lightly as it is a permanent solution.

[BitterSweet* 835]

@, you've received a great deal of feedback on this thread. Without even engaging in the discussion about your nutrition, I can honestly tell you that no one, not a single person on this Earth is healthy at your height and weight.

Part of the blinders obese people tend to wear is that they are "healthy fat", when there is really is no such thing. It's an oxymoron. Internal damage is being done to your body every single moment. It is 100% guaranteed that your weight will "catch up" with you, and those internal problems that have been ignored, overlooked, or assumed to be non-existent, will appear with a vengeance. It is that vengeance that many refer to as their rock bottom.

With probably 150 extra pounds on your frame, your heart is forced to function at a capacity it is not designed to do, nor can it withstand doing infinitely. Your joints are under massive and excessive pounds of pressure that cause permanent damage. The list goes on and on....

I have no idea if WLS is right for you. I have no idea how problematic your PCOS is for you. Yes, PCOS makes it difficult to LOSE weight, but how you GAINED your way to 300 lbs is what needs to be examined in your process of considering surgery. Even with PCOS, a person eating balanced, nutritional meals with correct portion sizes and consistent engagement in physical activity, doesn't gain an excessive 150 lbs.

I don't know you or anything about you other than what you've shared here. I would implore you to not only work with a nutritionist but perhaps a therapist as well. The majority of us have (had) an unhealthy relationship with food that has nothing to do with an underlying medical issue, and that warrants examining to some degree. Whatever you decide, I wish great things for you.

[Kindle 8,667]

Ditto to what bkrchk said for me....except the part about journalling. I never tracked my food or counted calories. I had this surgery so I wouldn't have to be on a diet ever again. I'm a year out and have been maintaining this same weight for over 3 months. I have no forbidden foods and don't feel restricted in my choices at all. This doesn't mean I sit around and eat cake and ice cream, it means I made the mental and emotional changes so I don't WANT to eat those things. The foods I crave and eat are high Protein, healthy food. And if you read any of my posts you will see I, too am a huge believer in a balanced diet including fruit, veggies and grains. There just happen to be some foods that are better choices than others in all of these categories. I choose the healthier option 90% of the time, But I also eat deserts, bread, Pasta and drink alcohol, in moderation...like I said, I'm not on a diet.

In making this decision, you need to look at the long term outcome. Most of the things people are nervous or scared about occur within the first few months or year (pain, nausea, leaks, strictures, infection, Constipation, diarrhea, hair loss, restricted diet during the losing phase, food intolerances, GERD, appearance of loose skin, etc). But things change drastically after that and you are left to deal with a new normal for the rest of your life. Some of the short term issues stay with you, but some don't. The potential long term changes are the ones you need to determine if you can live with. Don't base your decision on those things that are temporary. Keep researching, talk to a counselor or psych, attend support groups and talk to both successful and not so successful WLS patients. Figure out why they have different outcomes and see if you're willing to do what it takes to be one of the successful ones.

Your concerns are valid and need to be taken into consideration, but in the end, you need to be 110% committed to the emotional and mental part of WLS or you will be miserable and the surgery would have been a waste of time and money.

[Kya Wolf 69]

It was health issues that made up my mind.

[SouthernBelle69 20]

@@ProjectMe your story sounds so familiar. I have always been thick but healthy and athletic. I had ACL repairs in both knees one in my late 30's playing basketball and 1 my early 40's playing softball. My athleticism, weight and injuries have come to haunt me in my forties. Yes I had that Aha moment when I realize being thick ain't (slang) cute when you are having trouble with HPB and walking.

Optimistically hopeful for insurance approval.

Honestly, it just sounds like you are not ready. My head was where yours is. I have always considered myself to be a beautiful full figured healthy woman. I was an all American athlete even though I was heavier than the other athletes. I took the attitude of, "yeah, I may be big, but I'm still better than you, prettier than you, and healthier than you" from those years and applied it for the pas 20 years.

What a complete crock of ****. I believed my own lies. And in the process, lost years off my life, that I may never get back, because of my narcissism and truly unhealthy lifestyle. And guess what, I was once a vegetarian and actually believed that just because I didn't consume meat products, I was still healthier than other people....meanwhile I outweighed others by 100+ pounds.

looking back on things, I often ask myself, "how could I have been so stupid?" Why and when did I brainwash myself into thinking that being 100+ lbs overweight was healthy or sexy." I woke up after learning all the cancers and diseases obese people develop and through surviving thyroid cancer. You have yet to face your own "Come to Jesus" moment. And that is okay as all of us are on our own journeys. I just hope your moment is sooner rather than later.