I would not consider YOU a successful WLS patient!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I had to go to a specialist for my reactive hypoglycemia. Nothing is working. I have tried it all so far and have passed out several times. Anyway. I went two days ago and I am not saying the guy was a jerk because he wasn't. He was very nice and said that he can help me....They are sending me to a dietitian that specializes in difficult situations like mine where nothing is working. He said I was a survivor not a success at WLS.

He told me that I am going to be turned into someone that Bariatrics does not like and that is a grazer. I am going to eat every hour. All day long. And the food that I will be given will regulate my sugars. This is his plan.....

Now back to my shock and hurt over his comment. I said what are you talking about...I am at goal, and thin....He said so what it is healthy we aim for not thin. Sounded right to me. But then I asked if he had ever been fat in his life and he said..NO..Well I said, You have not got one clue what it is like to be fat and what we go through....He said true but I recommend WLS to a lot of my patients because of Diabetes. I said almost before he finished...And then what!? they get the surgery and are left hanging with no support or help from the medical community.

He asked me what I meant and I told him that for most of the complications I have had they have sent me right back to my original surgeon. And there were times when it was not necessary. He said. That's not fair. I said that didn't matter it is the way it is around my area. He said that the wait time is now 7 years here. I said well then a person who really needs it has 2 problems right. He looked at me...first they are in a place where you feel they need this surgery and then they can't get it because of the lists.....Why don't you just write a death certificate and get it over with.

He told me to stop crying and put myself together. He asked me why I was so upset. I told him that losing my weight was me being a success story and he repeated again. No! I said I am alive and I was dead before just not in the ground. He said look at you...You are weak and sick and now I have to find out why this stuff keeps happening to you. You obviously have unresolved food issues. I said yes doesn't everyone. Doesn't every one go through periods in their lives where they eat to be happy. Look at the new WW commercial. He then asked me if I would like to see a shrink and I said NO..I have been to enough of them to know they know less them me.. ( sorry if any of you are shrinks, it is not personal ) So I left his office after 2 hours of questions and tears and a solution to my hypoglycemia problem...Soon...

So I am still upset and I talk to someone I trust and still crying and in the conversation she says to me. I really don't understand why you even bother with Bariatric Pal. They have not helped you and the only thing you could say to anyone is maybe how to live through a botched surgery....Crushed I listened to the rest of the call without much commenting. This place has been a home for me for over 2 years......And then someone says that I have no right to be here. That I am not needed here. This has really sent me into a spin....

I am not looking for compliments. I want to know what you think about the situation. Am I unsuccessful or should I leave this site that has helped me so much? If there is nothing to offer others then my place here is for not!? Am I only a survivor of WLS? Are others going through similar things as I am? I feel so disheartened!

Edited December 11, 2014 by RJ'S/beginning

[kvlasy 195]

RJ - never doubt that you belong here. Things members say resonate with you. Things you say resonate with other members. You. Belong. Here. You are a complication survivor but that isn't all you are. You don't let it define you but you use it to support and educate others. Your voice is strong - not just the voice you use to communicate with us, but your inner voice too. When it is at odds with what others are saying, listen to it. ((Hugs to you))

[Elode 8,093]

Of course you should be here! Does this site help you? Do you find comfort here and can you shed some light on certain situations that may arise with someone else who is struggling or just needs some advice on something you have already experienced? What your "friend" fails to realize is that this site is a "SUPPORT" group of people! We don't just support the people who go through WLS and never have an issue or have the picture perfect out come! How boring would this be if people didn't have different "journeys"!? What the hell would we have to talk About?! Don't you DARE for one second let an "outsider" with no freaking clue tell you you don't belong among your own! How dare she even say such nonsense?! You do what makes you happy!

Edited December 12, 2014 by Elode

[JackieBrown 183]

You are a success. Think of what you went through to get to this point! And you are where you are supposed to be... you're a host, for Pete's sake! Doesn't that tell you something? Few of us know each other, but we are all friends in a way, since we can talk openly about things here in a way that is pretty rare in this world.

No, the problem is that you need a second or even a third opinion. Believe me, I've fired lots of doctors for being jerks. These doctors don't know everything. I would look around for some good referrals to people who are both compassionate and experienced in these things. Folks who have never been fat will never understand. Period. Get someone who can help you.

And then you find that someone who is on your side and will pull out all the stops. Ask your friends, any doctors your trust, go on Yelp, Google away...

Please, your voice is very important to this group, and we want you among us.

[Stevehud 1,790]

Are you a failure ? NO!

Should you be here? If it helps you, why the hell not!

But as to the rest, I don't know almost anything about why this has happened to you. The only thing I can say is sometimes the way we write things can make others feel like we don't want help. and maybe people get..confrontational about that. S Like when you say you know more than the shrinks, I understand you a have been through a lot and are frustrated beyond measure and deservedly so, but wording it that way might make someone leery of trying to reach out and offer help.

I will say that there is a lot of coddling here, but hell who doesn't need that sometimes.

I don't think anyone would say you don't belong here.

[BigGirlPanties 957]

I was furious and close to tears myself as I read your post, RJ.

To echo the above...WE NEED YOU! You have been a rock to me... I look to your experience and expertise all the time. I love your posts and insights, PLEASE you know better than to let someone effect you in that way (telling you that you don't belong HERE)...

as for the doctor...all I can say is *SMH*

[barbb3 115]

Oh my gosh RJ! I truely cannot believe the lack of support you have gotten from the medical community and SOME people around you. You (and all of us) deserve so much more. I hope the dietician they are sending you to gives you the support you need.

As to your place here on Bariatric Pal? Your voice is so important to us - pre- op or post-op, newbie or veteran. Your insight and perspective and humor are so valuable and needed here! Bariatric Pal would not be the same without you.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Are you a failure ? NO!

Should you be here? If it helps you, why the hell not!

But as to the rest, I don't know almost anything about why this has happened to you. The only thing I can say is sometimes the way we write things can make others feel like we don't want help. and maybe people get..confrontational about that. S Like when you say you know more than the shrinks, I understand you a have been through a lot and are frustrated beyond measure and deservedly so, but wording it that way might make someone leery of trying to reach out and offer help.

I will say that there is a lot of coddling here, but hell who doesn't need that sometimes.

I don't think anyone would say you don't belong here.

I said it wasn't personal. I have been to several and for different reasons and for all of them they had one solution. Here it is ready ( Don't do that! ) And no you don't know me and I understand that there are people out there who can help one another. Including professionals. ( shrinks ) I just never found one. I did get close though. But then she decided to go into helping children instead of adults. I loved her by the way. So my intent was not to put down any form of help...

Coddling. I did not ask for that.

[Luvin_Life125 558]

OMG there is nothing wrong with you, your surgical and recovery path, or your success! That doc needs a lesson in compassion and a few in verbal communication. You have lost the weight, successfully maintained your loss, and kept your sanity through it all.

As far as bariatric Pal is concerned, it wouldn't be the same without you. Please don't let other peoples doubts affect your choices. ((((Hugs))))

[BigGirlPanties 957]

Woman! If there is one thing we know about YOU...is you DO NOT "Coddle" LOL... love you to pieces... you have been thru so much and are still our shining star

"Don't let someone dim your light because you shine in their face" ... I read that early today on this site and I think it applies here! <3

[emsgirl114 88]

You are a success. You know it on your heart or you would have just agreed with mcmeany. You are a survivor as well. A survivor of obesity. You fought it. You didn't let it kill you. Nor will this. You have survived everything ever thrown at you in order to make it to this very moment in time. Your success was do to hard work. If you have a hypoglycemic disorder you will deal with that and be successful. Survival vs successful. Isn't it one in the same. You fought and defeated one of the most prolific killers: obesity. You can do anything and win.

[UK Cathy 977]

I think you are a very positive influence on this site. I know you care for people and have been cared for by people here. You have every rite to be here so stay.

I'm sorry that you feel hurt.

[GreenEyes604 753]

You deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. There will always be people in this world who will say really ignorant stuff due to their lack of proper upbringing, lack of education, lack of empathy, or just down right STUPID!

Don't EVER let anyone steal your joy! You are a SUCCESS! Don't take others' negative affirmations into your spirit. Don't let ludicrous comments take any of your power. Haters are gonna hate, and stupid people are just gonna be stupid!

Consider the source and keep it movin'. You do not have to defend your life decisions to anyone, so don't give them your power. People do and say ignorant things to and about me all the time. I just look at them, laugh and say to myself... "Thank God that I'm not like them!"

Edited December 11, 2014 by GreenEyes604

[Miss Mac 6,262]

RJ, you have helped me so much in the year that I have been involved in the forum. You examplify strength and courage and have shown us that any day that we wake up on this side of the dirt, it's a good day.

Yeah, that coddle thing.....I don't know where that is coming from. I have always said that opinions and tact vary on the forum. What some people call coddling, others call diplomacy. Those of us who inject a sense of humor once in a while can come off as not being serious about the journey. Those of us who follow the plans our teams have given us have even been called "Goody Two Shoes".

RJ, you belong here. That doctor is an a**, and you are a gift from God. For those who will be offended by a religious reference, then you are still a gift to those who follow behind you. When you don't show up for a few days because of another procedure, I worry about you.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

You deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. There will always be people in this world who will say really ignorant stuff due to their lack of proper upbringing, lack of education, lack of empathy, or just down right STUPID!

Don't EVER let anyone steal your joy! You are a SUCCESS! Don't take others' negative affirmations into your spirit. Don't let ludicrous comments take any of your power. Haters are gonna hate, and stupid people are just gonna be stupid!

Consider the source and keep it movin'. You do not have to defend your life decisions to anyone, so don't give them your power. People do and say ignorant things to and about me all the time. I just look at them, laugh and say to myself... "Thank God that I'm not like them!"

Thank you. This doctor, only said what he felt was true. He is not a bad person. He did not say this in meanness. It was just how he saw me. For me it was the combination and the two together. The second part hurt more because I love giving here and receiving help from you as well. I feel a huge place in my heart for anyone who has been going through this very difficult journey. Like everyone else. I want to be a help not a hindrance. I felt a little foolish because I have put so much of my self in here, especially if I was not helpful to others. I know I do not feel this way a lone. I know there are others out there that have been knocked around for their choices. but it is my choice to be here and yet a side of me believed her and thought OMG what am I doing......