Help with Nay-sayers

[Guest TooLarge]

I'm sure that I am not the only one who has encountered those among their family and friends who tell you not to have surgery for weightloss. I understand their statement and care, but I would like to articulate why I believe I need to try something else. I'm now over 300 lbs in my middle-aged exsitence. I have tried several diets, but usually fall off the wagon due to a birthday, holiday, travel, etc. Does anyone out there have any good words that can help the thin ones understand why I am considering the the lap-band as a tool to help me?:help:

[kadrianmatthews 0]

Let them know that you need it for help reason. And that it's not as easy to diet when you can't seem to stick to it. It's a tool to help you with self restraint. And that's the bottom line.It's all about you and your happiness.

[chimboree26 24]

I'm sure that I am not the only one who has encountered those among their family and friends who tell you not to have surgery for weightloss. I understand their statement and care, but I would like to articulate why I believe I need to try something else. I'm now over 300 lbs in my middle-aged exsitence. I have tried several diets, but usually fall off the wagon due to a birthday, holiday, travel, etc. Does anyone out there have any good words that can help the thin ones understand why I am considering the the lap-band as a tool to help me?:help:

I think this is an excellent topic to discuss. It is one that will inevitably come up for us Bandsters. I think it is important to:

(1) be certain within yourself the reasons for being banded,

(2) realize some truly are concerned about your safety,

(3) realize some truly believe being banded is the easy way out/you're too lazy to do it on your own/etc....

(4) realize some just won't understand

I think if you politely explain that this is going to improve your health and quality of life, that should be more than sufficient. Of course, some people will give you their own opinions, but let it go in one ear and out the other. I haven't been banded, yet, but this is what I plan to do. Easier said than done, I'm sure.

Just remember, ultimately, this is your life decision and as long as you're ready for the change, that's all that matters.

[wannabeslim 0]

My husband and I are thinking about lap band, both of us are 100+ overweight. We need to hear all the pro's and con's before we make our final decisions. We have gone to an instructional seminar in Idaho Fall where 3 doctors do the surgery and it told us all the good stuff and about the procedure, but I know there is more to it. Please give us some personal info from those of you who have been there and done that!

[Big As Life 0]

I don't know that I would try to explain it to them....I would do what I needed to do for myself, and don't worry about anyone else...Your concern right now should be all about you....if you have never had this attitude, you need to have it now.....for once in your life, do something for you....

[Big As Life 0]

Wannabeslim,

I think that this is the very best thing I have ever done for myself...I was banded on 4/6/07 and had first fill on 5/17/07..I have lost 30 lbs...I love the band...keeps me on track...tells me when I over eat...gives me real hope....

[Brandychick 0]

My husband was way against it when I thought about it. I had to tell him that it was about me and not him! As for my mum, she thought I was mad. Yet after speaking to people who had it done, she was the one who found my surgeon, made all my appointments and looked after me post op. My husband now says that it is the best thing that I could ever have done as he can see how much happier I am! I would suggest finding a bandsters meeting near you and taking your family with you so they can speak to people who have had it done.

The main thing is for you to be determined. If you are serious about it, they will see this and start being more supportive.

Good luck.

[caz1970 0]

Hi!

There seems to be this idea that some people have, that you are "guilty" of being fat!

Of course we have done this to ourselves, but we never wanted it, and no one wants to be fat and unhealthy!

Some people think you should suffer to lose weight, and if you have a band, or other surgery, you are cheating, and that really annoys some people.

And to think these are supposed to be family and friends? They should get educated about obesity and stop being ignorant!

And then there are the people who are terrified of gaining weight, and put all their negative thoughts on you, to make themselves feel better!

Ignore them if they don't want to listen!

[Ariel 1]

I found one of the best things to tell people is that they have to undestand obesity is a medical condition. And you treat a medical condition with the best avaible resources in this case the lap band. If you had breast cancer no one would dream of telling you to fight it yourself. Once people see obesity as a disease state they can usually understand, but some people refuse to see it that way.

[michellyoh 0]

Everything that people have been saying here is true. One of the most important things to remember is that this is a tool to help you lose weight. It is not a magic wand. You still have to make dramatic changes in your life. This is by no means a "quick fix". Most naturally thin people would say, "well if you're going to make those changes anyway, then why do the surgery?". When I was asked this question, my reply was simple. "How long do you watch your friend limp with a bad knee before giving him a cane to assist with his walking? How long do you allow your child to cough before giving him medicine to help him sleep? " This is really no different. How long are you going to struggle with your weight before you give yourself the tools to help you really be successful in losing it? Do this for you, and no one else.

[jewelsismelting 0]

This concern is why I have only told 3 people about my plans to get the band - my husband, and 2 of my best friends. As far as family, other friends and co-workers go what they don't know won't hurt them - and I don't have to listen to them. If at some point I want to tell them I will.

[musicalmomma 1]

Everything that people have been saying here is true. One of the most important things to remember is that this is a tool to help you lose weight. It is not a magic wand. You still have to make dramatic changes in your life. This is by no means a "quick fix". Most naturally thin people would say, "well if you're going to make those changes anyway, then why do the surgery?". When I was asked this question, my reply was simple. "How long do you watch your friend limp with a bad knee before giving him a cane to assist with his walking? How long do you allow your child to cough before giving him medicine to help him sleep?" This is really no different. How long are you going to struggle with your weight before you give yourself the tools to help you really be successful in losing it? Do this for you, and no one else.

BRAVO!!!!! What a great post!!! I got to the point in my life that I just don't give a rip what people think about this decision! This is about taking ownership of my health. I NEED this to aid and assit me in acheiving optimal health. I've bought other tools too! A bike, a YMCA membership, a magic bullet, healthy foods, etc...no one scoffs when I buy these tools...I'm not going to care if they scoff that I'm buying a band that will tell me when I've had ENOUGH to eat! I don't have the idea that this is going to be a cake walk, I know I have to make changes but I NEED this tool to be successful in the long term.

I haven't told too many people...only those I know that would be supportive. It's slipped out to other people of course, and I couldn't care less! The only concern that lingers in the back on my mind is "what if I don't lose weight??? They'll (the scoffers) take great pleasure in seeing me fail." But I'm stepping out in faith...faith that this is the tool that will give me the edge I've been needing and faith in my God to help me make right choices. My body will take care of the rest!

best of luck to you!

[michellyoh 0]

Thanks Musicalmomma!!! Sounds like you and I went on the same shopping spree (sans the bike)!! LOL! This is a very personal decision, and those that would ask such a question do not require an answer. And trust me, there are those that it makes no difference what you say, they'll still give you "the look"! I live by two motos!! 1) It is what it is! 2) You can't depend on someone, or anything else for your happiness; that's an inside job!! If we stay true to ourselves, and have faith, we can all accomplish what we're here to do!!

Much luck to you!! We're all here if you need anything!!

[Brandychick 0]

BRAVO indeed! That should be the way to live one's life! Very much agree with all the comments here. We have to look after number 1!!

[juliegeraci 7]

I was 282 when I got banded. I had lost about 30 lbs on my own. It took me a year at least to lose that. I was fed up at not being able to lose more so that is when I looked into the lapband. Good luck to you.