Has anyone taken up Bycyling?

[babygrl1234 6]

Hello from the sticks of Michigan lol. Man we missed some crazy weather at home driving up here. I got in a nice run this morning but I am really missing my bike right now. There are some bad ass hills going on here.

[hoosierpoms 0]

Ok, I need the advice of all my friends on here.

There was a group ride this morning with the people from a near by town. My DH and i have rode with 2 of them 1 time(last Sunday)

I had to work today, and my DH went ahead and went for the ride anyway. First of all, he never biked until I started, and we alway's do it together.

Am I wrong to be upset that he went??? I have not mentioned my feelings to him, becuase I dont want to say the wrong thing, but I am Pissed he went without me. Yes, I am having some jealous issues going through my head too(he has never ever done anything wrong to deserve them) but I still am having them...

So..I am here at work, and that is all I am thinking about....PLUS..the ride started at 6am, and it is almost 9am, and he has not called.....

I dont know.....Gosh....this is stupid, but I cant help it....

Ok, I am done....

[areellady 1]

HP, ok, first off, let's examine the reason you are feeling like this.

What are the jealousy feeling from? Are the people he is riding with women? Are the jealousy feelings because he is out riding and you are work? Is it that he is doing something that you assumed was a special thing that you and him did together?

I think that it is great that he is out doing this. It shows that he loves doing it and he is enthusiastic about the sport. I do consider it a sport. Now I do have to say that I would be feeling upset that my DH went without me too. I think I would be feeling jealousy because that is time that we spend together and I wouldnt want anyone else to come in between us and that time. I think you are upset because you are at work and havent had the time to ride like you have wanted to. You are doing so awesome and you are a strong person.

Think about this....would he have been jealous if it would of been the other way around, or would he of been supportive of you????

Hope that helps sweetie!!!! Hugs!!! Deanna

[hoosierpoms 0]

d.

Well....It was my choice too work. we need the money and the OT is available to me, so that is kinda my fault. Yes, they are women, one man who is married to the one lady who runs the group. There were some new people going that I have no clue who they are..etc.....What if he finds someone who is already better fit and able to ride more like him?>?

I havent been able to get as much in lately, and I feel bad becuase of that, and yes this is OUR time....

I feel like crap......It shouldnt be this way.....and now I am all upset and he STILL HAS NOT CALLED!!!!

Oh, well...I guess I dont know how he would feel, I dont think I could ever go without him, becuase he always goes....but..i dont know....

I hate being insecure in my life..this sucks

[areellady 1]

HP, ok, take some breaths!!!! This is not what you are thinking in your mind. This is a bike ride. He loves YOU!! He has stuck by you when you were NOT fit!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!!!! Fit or not, he loves you and his life is with you!!!! Maybe the group went to Breakfast after the ride. I know a lot of times I hear J talking about eating during the ride or after. I think he is trying to impress you with his love for biking like you have!!!!!

[areellady 1]

Also, I think that maybe you are upset more over the fact that you havent been able to get in as much riding as you want because of work. You need to have something else to do afer work to get that stress out. Maybe get a trainer for your bike, so you can ride it at home.

[areellady 1]

HP, I am going to get my hair cut and will be back to check on you. I am worried about you. I really am. I feel your pain and anger and I know that I would be doing the same thing. I am here for you sister!!!! You are beautiful and awesome!!!!! Your brain is just working overtime, kinda like you are, right now. It will all be okay!!

[hoosierpoms 0]

Thank you D...

I wish all you guys lived closer...

hell, I even looked up to see how far away you were last night...DANG..THAT IS FAR

I heard from my daughter he just got home..so ya...

I need to do something to de stress......LOL

Thanks again D......

[jcgrove29 0]

HP, I am going to use one of my favorite and often times annoying words.

"PATIENCE"

I try not to tell people what is best for them, so I will make a suggestion. It may help you to look inside deep down. If you feel insecure try not to let this feeling control you, it is a very powerful emotion. Use it, use it for fuel, work on converting it to drive and determination. I am going to take a stab at an analogy.

Gasoline is not what gives a motor energy, that is just the most common way we choose to (USE) it. It can be a fire starter, light source, solvent many many things. What we have found is that it is best used as (FUEL).

These emotions we have, manifest themselves based on how we (USE) them. I have no doubt that your confidence level and security level will only increase with each milestone you reach! ahem (patience) Try Try Try to convert your thoughts emotions and feelings into fuel and energy and positive attitude.

I speak from experiance I don't just make things up or say what I think someone wants to hear. I live alone right now after an almost 9 year relationship with someone I am still very much in love with. We will not be together again, she unleashed this jealousy thing on me and I tried everything in the world to help her through it (Please notice I didn't say "FIX" it, help, I tried tried tried and failed miserably.

I walked away with a 500.00 dollar truck and some clothes. So much damage was done that I decided I needed to rebuild my life from the foundation up and I am do so as I write this.

My point is, just as fuel can be many things, so can these feelings you are having. I hope you are able to turn them into fuels like drive, energy, commitment, dedication to yourself and your feeings of self worth, not a wrecking ball.

I hope you read this as advice and not judgement, I understand where you are coming from and so will most people on this thread I suspect.

You have a lot of achievement to be proud of all ready. You have attacked this weight issue, gone through surgery, started exercising regularly, and found some new although, somewhat disfunctional friends. :-)

I pray you and your family will be blessed with peace and serenity.

Your Friend, JC

[jcgrove29 0]

I gotta run my son is going for a world record shortly. Will check back in a few hours.

JC

[hoosierpoms 0]

Thank you JC...it is so hard and not choosing the bad thoughts and fueling my weakness.

I appreciate your comments, and take them too heart....

Sorry you have had so much in your life too.

[OH Juli 15]

HP,

Oh sweetie........

Jealousy is bitch of a feeling.

I hope I can contribute.

If you take yourself out of the equation. Here you have a fella who has been biking regularly and he's met some new folk. The new folks share the biking interest. They've asked him out on ride. His wife too. But she can't make it. She's working,

Well, he could go ride, get some exercise, make some conversation, maybe grab a bite to eat (WE nearly always get food half way through) and have an energetic start to his weekend.

Or he could say, you know my wife can't go so I'm not going. I'm going to putz around the house, maybe sleep in, maybe mow the lawn...

Regardless I'm not going to be with my wife, she's at work. I might as well make the best use of my time.

I'm sure he loves to bike with you, but like the rest of us who've taken up biking I'm sure he just plain loves to bike and is happy to have the opportunity to learn more and do more.

Now, chica you had him at 300+, you're going to have him at 140. He loves you. We joke about having to "break in" a new g/f should we break up and that's a compelling reason to stay together. It's a little jaded but the truth is there is comfort in being with the "ol' lady".

So, trust that he loves you. Trust that he's just thinking about having his ass on the bike seat and not thinking about you thinking "BUT IT'S WHAT WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DO."

If you can manage to get over feeling badly about his biking, ask him a bunch of questions about the ride...jealousy is normal, trust me I know...I'll save the details, our issue is distance and a huge difference in income. I'm a lunch lady she's an engineer...

At any rate, you can either let the jealousy eat at you or you can say, yep, I'm jealous, I'm human, it's what we do, but it's unfounded and there's not a smart solution. (Having him stay home because you had to work isn't smart. He'd be missing a good opportunity to get more fit and make connections with people.)

In my situation I can't make more money immediately and asking her to make less is silly. And she shares her money when she can, but I don't ask for any...

You have my heart. I know it's hard. It really is.

[OH Juli 15]

Sorry about changing voices half way through that. Writing in third then first person. I need to proof read more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I rode 33 miles this morning with a crazy head wind!!!! There was only 7 of us on the ride which was smaller than typical, but it was a good ride. Rolling hills are my favorite!

Have I told you I love to bike? It's crazy this time last year I'd never have guessed it. The fact that I pay a sitter $30 so I can go is nuts too, but it's a small price for my health and relationships I'm building.

I told my bike mentor person, Joanna, about OUR trip in Spetember. She's amused that we are converging on Ft Wayne. I think it's fantastic!!!! But I had to come out of the surgery closet to explain how we all met. That felt awkward. Everyone at work knows, and I'm not shy about talking about myself, but it's funny I've known her since May and I'm just telling her....

Anyway it was a great morning to ride in central Ohio.

[babygrl1234 6]

HP I agree with eerything everyone else has said. You are amazing and your hubby knows that.

[hoosierpoms 0]

Thank you everyone for the support, the advice, and most of all your friendships. It is so nice to know we can get on here and get diffrent outlooks, that we cant always find on our own.

I am leaving for home soon, maybe we can get in a ride this evening...?

Glad you told her J.......I always wonder what people's reactions will be....and I hate judgemtal people......

Well, signing off for a bit....

see ya

and thanks:)