"You took the easy way out"

[shmily 424]

Don't you want to slap someone when they say this regarding our WLS??

There is NOTHING easy about what we have done. Not only have we had our guts rearranged but eating, as we knew it for our entire life, has changed. We have made the ultimate sacrifice and will continue to do so for continued success. I have had people tell me this, and the others tell me they could never do what I have done because they are not ready to give up the old way of eating. We still have to count our calories, get exercise, make wise choices etc.

I have a sister that I finally told about 7 months out. She has just lost 30 lbs, and commented to me that she "did it the old fashioned way".

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Precisely why I told so few people.

[ruth1966 31]

I completely understand. My brother keeps asking me why I still want to go through with the surgery since I have lost 42 lbs on mine own. I have told him because I have done this before only to gain it back I need that little bit of help. I told him I still have to continue to eat better and that this is not a quick fix. He keeps trying to talk me out of it so I think I will not say anything to him until after the surgery and then it will be to late for him to say anything. My boyfriend is on board with it but my children are like my brother so I guess I will just keep confiding in my boyfriend. I will know my surgery date after Dec. 9th,

[HawaiianTexan 44]

Only one person said that to me, Ive never updated that person on my status. My family has been supportive I think they all know someone that's had a lot of success with bariatric so they were on board immediately saying "how can I help". I never really spoke to my older brothers about it but I think we give each other enough respect to live our lives the way we see fit.

[maggie0210 117]

I know exactly what you mean. Easy? Why don't they try it? It's a lot harder than the "old fashioned way". And it's for life, no do over. My family, except for Lisa, was not supportive at all. My friend actually showed me a video of how it's done to gross me out. Surgery is dangerous, don't do it. Yet when she needs support, there I am. I now just ignore all of them. I weigh what I did in junior high, reversed diabetes, and just all around healthier. So I made the right decision. And so will you! Take care.

[Gnomes 2]

I'm telling my parents the day before! They flipped when I said I'd been for a 'chat' with a bariatric surgeon. Emotional blackmail on an epic scale....

[green*eyed*girl 170]

Well, I know I will not be popular with this, but I think losing weight after having RNY done is much easier then trying to lose weight without this surgery. I know, coz I tried to lose weight way too many times before I had my surgery. I was always successful for a minute and then gained it back all - the usual story, I am sure most of you can relate.

I might be lucky because I had a very easy surgery and recovery. I do not suffer from dumping (only mild symptomes sometimes) and I can tolerate any kind of food I try. My taste did not change and my life remained the same - except food do not rule me anymore. I eat small quantities, and first time in my life I am happy and satisfied with that. This is brand new, this is good, liberating...it is easy, I get full fast, I count calories like a pro, stay away from carbs and sugar and try to excersize. Is it really that hard? I mean I used to suffer way more when I way trying to lose weight before my RNY.

Is this really NOT the easy way out? I can only speak for myself, and for me it was/is... and I would not change a single thing about it

[tamg26k 479]

Someone asked how much weight I lost the other day. ( I try not to give anyone the amount, I usually say a lot and I feel great!) I gave the total and the response I got was " Well, that's what happens when you have surgery." Yes, he is right we lose weight, but not without putting in the work. There is nothing easy about this. We all have to put in the work to be successful. It is a complete lifestyle change.

The surgery is just one part of a 3 part lifestyle change.

The second being a brand new way of eating and looking at food. I read every label and count every gram of sugar and carbs. Anyone who says is easy to give up bread, Pasta, rice, pizza, tacos, donuts, cake, etc. is crazy. It isn't easy. Replacing these foods with healthy alternatives has been great. I love cooking now...who new!

The third is exercising. I am in the gym 5 days a week now. I love it. I actually look forward to going. Something happens when you start to see and feel the results from exercising that makes you want to just workout more.

I am proud of the results that I've achieved so far (110 lbs. in just under 5 months) and I don't think I would of been in the same place without the work.

We should all be very proud of ourselves for making a change.

[HawaiianTexan 44]

Both ways of losing weight are hard but what these people dont understand is that less than 5 percent of morbidly obese individuals succeed in losing a significant amount of weight and maintaining the weight loss with non-surgical programs.

That's the difference between your family member or friend who did it by exercise & diet only they probably weren't morbidly obese. If they are morbidly obese lets keep an eye to see if they yo-yo.

This is hard in a different way and truely a life change that can't be undone.

[Laurac727 92]

Well I am in beginning steps and I told my hubs and adult kids. LOW n behold I did not want my mother to know and guess who I was with when they called to schedule, Yepper her. So she knows. That is it, I do not want anyone else to know: already dealing w my 4'9" 100 pound mother "I know exact ally what u r feeling" " I have been there" (never in her life over 110) "yes u know how many fights I had w u to diet n do it right, u never did" oh my n I am not even there yet for surgery, she is too much a handful to deal w others like her! So nope no more anyone lol

[SuzeMuze 338]

I try not to take too much offense at folks who make these kinds of flippant remarks. What I think a lot of them don't realize are the very real physiological reasons why many of us aren't/weren't successful with traditional diet & exercise means as a way to lose weight. Unless we're very open about ourselves, (which I'm not) it's probably not public knowledge if you suffer from diabetes, sleep apnea, food addictions, or any number of other things that stand in the way of losing weight through diet and exercise alone. That's not anyone's fault. What is important is that we realized we needed help, we realized that bariatric surgery could be a tool that can help us reach our goal along with the diet & exercise. Easy way out? Please. This is the hardest thing I've ever done.

[shmily 424]

I think sometimes they are so jealous they pee green!!!

[Heidela71 18]

I wish I could find my source of information, but it was something I read, or perhaps my doctor told me that really made me seriously consider having this surgery and change my no to a yes when I was deciding. I tell people this little piece of information when they ask me why I decided to do it, and this is how I word it : "Only eight percent of people my size who manage to lose all of their weight actually keep that weight off for the rest of their lives. With this surgery, the percentage jumps to 80%. I like those odds a lot better."

My primary care physician told me that I will run into more judgement from people outside of the medical profession than within it. Most doctors are on board with it because it not only helps obesity, but all of the co-morbidities that go along with it. We are doing what we need to do to save our own lives. I'm sorry your sister doesn't seem to see that, but hopefully she will come around when she sees how healthy you have become, and when she truly sees how hard you have to work at it, and that even though it's not "the old fashioned" way, it's most certainly not the easy way out.

Best wishes to you!

[Jonathan Blue 311]

Try not to give to much stock to these people. They will never fully understand what it means to go through the journeys we all have. To a large extent even those who support us and try to understand never full will. I have been lucky in that not too many people have really said much to me about how it is "taking the easy way out:" For those who have I spend time to educate them on facts.

Being 260 lbs overweight the chances of me dying before I was 40 was extremely high. Traditional diets had failed. If I had found a traditional diet somewhere along the line that would work, statistically the chance of losing all of that 260 lbs and keeping it off for at least 5 years is less than 1%. Granted, there are some who are able to do it (like Jared from subway), but if you look at how they did it, they usually didn't have traditional jobs and spend four to six hours or more a day working out and moving. Far too often this is just not a feasible way to live when you have school, work, children, or many other responsibilities. The odds improve greatly when your weight loss is aided by one of the surgeries. For the sleeve that percentage of those that lose it and keep it off for 5 years is about 75% and with gastric bypass i know that percentage is closer to 85%. I emphasis that it was a TOOL not a solution. My body's hormones and insulin levels were fighting every attempt I made to lose weight making it far more difficult than a normal person with normal hormone levels so I needed something to get my body out of the way of its self.

Then as far as an easy way out ask them to tell you what sounds easy about, going with liquids only for two weeks until you are irritable and just want to die, only to have someone punch six holes in your stomach to mangle your stomach and intestines turning you into a Frankenstein of sorts. From there spend 3 or more days in a hospital dependent on pain medication to be able to move around that first week. Finally, once you are home you only can sip liquid, slowly add baby food, and eventually after six months may be able to take in a cup of food six times a day. All during this time you are in constant threat of dehydration, malnutrition, reliant on Vitamins every day for the rest of your life. This is all if everything goes perfectly with the surgery and don't get me started on if it doesn't. I bet you can imagine.

It all sounds horrible, but the pain and heartache of dealing with all of this is nothing compared with the pain of not being able to walk down a flight of stairs, or play with your children, or even take a walk. Now on top of it, I have to deal with an @$$hole like you who has no clue what they are talking about. I did this to save my life. My life needed a drastic change and to do so quickly, safely, and effectively, with the greatest chance for success, this was the tool I chose.

That is typically what I have told the few who have brought up the easy way out scenario. I know why so many people choose not to tell others and I can agree with your reasoning. I personally chose to tell everyone because it keeps me accountable and gives me a stronger drive and determination to succeed. The choice to tell is very personal and there is no right or wrong answer. To anything we do in life there will always be detractors. I just urge you all to not just get upset and walk away. I urge you to get upset and fight back with the facts. It is a lot harder to argue with.

As always, if I can help you out in any way with advice, guidance, or just a shoulder to cry on. I am here for you all.

[InspirationMySon 135]

I know personally I worked with a few people who had it done & at the time I thought it was the easy way. Although at the time I was fairly fit & active & the people who got it were telling me what I should eat or how I should workout so I think I was just being a snot.

Now having had gone thru the process & being exactly 3 months into the post RNY life I am singing a different tune that's for sure. I am also keeping my opinions to myself about diet & exercise remembering how much I hated people who had RNY doling out advice & not doing that.

I also only told a handful of people I was getting it done, other people just thought I was going in for a planned "gallbladder" surgery so no one would be asking about surgery. But honestly I have found not telling many people has been beneficial because most don't say anything about my weight loss & those who do don't act like its drastic.

[babelfish5 78]

I've kept what I did to my self with the exception of my close friends and family. I didn't have much criticism about my decision.

I think most of us will see that from people no matter how far out we are if we tell someone what we did. The criticism I have had has always been rather shallow and self-centered. "I've battled the same 10 pounds for years and if I can do it, so can you."

Really, try battling 160 pounds for a decade and then come to me and tell me that. Most people who criticize you have no idea what it's like to have to lose A LOT of weight.. It seems to me that anyone who's ever lost a few pounds seems to think that their way is the only way.

I was fortunate to have a supporting family who helped me every step of the way. For me, I ignore those who are critical. They haven't walked in my shoes.

Edited December 8, 2014 by babelfish5