male only Food Industry Vets, Identity, and WLS

[Bob B 103]

First post, guys. 10 days from surgery.

I've been in the restaurant business all my life. I own two currently, and don't really know any other businesses.

At 348lbs, it's time for me to make the leap. I'm excited, but scared.

My biggest concern is losing my identity. My whole life, professionally and personally has revolved around food. (FWIW, my problem has never been overeating at work...it's Drive-thru eating (2-3 times a day) that did me in. I'm not worried about being tempted at work (although our food is BOMB), but I AM worried about the implications of the guy who sells you food needing WLS. I realize that this is an ego thing more than anything, but just wanted to know if anyone else was having similar job/identity issues.

I've been "The Food Guy" for my adult life, and I just don't have any idea what I'll be after WLS, when multi-course tasting menus, "whiskey nights," and food festivals are no longer part of my life.

How did YOUR personality evolve?

[Mrs. Reid 392]

Hey there.

I know what you mean. I work in a food coop and have most of my life. I have actually decided to leave the coop after my surgery and work in a non-food environment. I have always been the modern day hippie, only eating organic...grass fed...ethically treated...minimaly processed...uncured.. ...screaming for food justice....all of that. Now, I'm going to leave all of it. It is hard because my friends are all in the same business. I don't know how things will change for me. Sometimes I think this is just my test and if I can make friends with food and be in this environment without overeating that would surely be a true sign of success. On the other hand, I've been obese since I was 9 years old and I so want to give myself a break and remove the temptation from my life. I want to stop telling myself to buck up and resist and feeling bad when I can't. For me, leaving the foodie life is part of my determination to be good to myself. I have other talents I can develop. This WLS is the start of a whole new life for me...and I am determined to make this new life better.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Fascinating thread and challenges for you both. I'm going to follow this thread ... and think about your question.

Hmmm....

[Katcloudshepherd 630]

Bob,

I work for he federal government in an agency that regulates food.

cynthiarm2000, I admire you for eating the way you do. I would very much like to be eating organic...grass fed...ethically treated...minimally processed...uncured.. ...foods. I would like to have my own chickens, so I know they are humanely treated in the eggs I eat. Unfortunately, I don't have the money to purchase organic, grass-fed, ethically treated products. They do cost more than the factory farmed ones in the grocery store. Working full time, I don't have the time to raise my own chickens.

How has my identity changed since surgery? I'm now called "skinny". I concentrate on getting my Water in, Protein in, taking supplements, getting regular exercise and doing things one day at a time. I try not to preach weight loss surgery to those I am so tempted to prosleytize to. I know that people have to come to their own decision about weight loss surgery, since it is highly personal and everyone is different.

Before surgery, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Now I have to do a considerable amount of planning regarding what I will eat, when I will eat it and how I will prepare it. Because I am not a cook, work full time and have a busy life, I live on GENEPRO Protein powder and Quest bars right now. I would like to do more cooking when I retire in 7 years. I hope to raise chickens in 7 years but I'm thinking that may change too. I would like to travel when I retire as well. Having chickens to take care of and traveling don't work well together.

I think you'll find some adjustments to your occupation as a "food guy" but I wonder if it may give you an opportunity as well. You will be in a position to create new recipes that are high in Protein and lower in carbs. IMHO there will be an opportunity in the near future for those businesses catering to people like me who are needing high protein, low carb meals. I notice advertisements are proclaiming how much protein their products have. I LOVE it when I can go to a restaurant and they have something tasty on a menu which fits into my food plan. Something that doesn't come in a HUGE portion that is high protein and low carb.

​I don't know if my rambling helps you or not.

​I wish you success with your surgery and hope you have an easy recovery.

Blessings,

Kathleen

[George_NJ 13]

Hi Bob,

I started working in a restaurant while in high school, after I got my drivers license. Up to that time I was always lean & muscular... Once I got my driver's license I got no exercise at all. Soon after I started working there I started putting on weight, I put 50 lbs on the first year there. Even the owner's wife told me that I'd better be careful, maybe she meant not so much my weight, but me eating their profits I would sample a lot of what I would make, pick a little here & pick a little there. This went on for years. I had a couple of my own places over the years as well, but got out of the biz to get into real estate. The weight never left. As things slowed with construction, I got heavier while living an even more sedentary lifestyle.

I am the cook in the family, so I'm always doing dinner & lunches for the family. I make good stuff, not microwave dinners. This was one of my big fears (especially my wife's), was I going to be able to still cook for everyone like before? Was it going to really bother me to cook & not eat what I'm cooking?

Well yesterday morning I decided to made Breakfast, my style of home fries with eggs up for the family, this was the first meal that I made since the surgery. I wont lie to you, it smelt so damn good, you know a little onion & oil in the pan to start if off, mmmmmmmm. Anyway, I made it through with out too much fan fair...I did need to chomp on an ice pop while cooking to get me through this first meal.

I think if anything you losing weight will be good for business, I know some people are turned off to very heavy people working around food, it's mostly a problem in their own minds, but it does cost you money when they wont come back. I had opened a restaurant and had one of my Sister in laws out front as the Manager / hostess... Yes a couple of people (I knew) mentioned her weight to me, I was kind of shocked, and here I am a fat guy myself, go figure? She had a bubbly personality that most people liked, but the people with "other peoples weight issues" took exception to her...

Good luck with you surgery, it will all work out for the best.

George

Edited December 7, 2014 by George_NJ

[macman 603]

Hey Bob

Congratulations on your decision to have surgery and good luck to you!

As a long time consumer of restaurant fare I can tell you that it matters not what you look like. If you have a great product and treat your customers right, you'll be successful. I have never not visited a restaurant due to the weight of the manager or owner.

The tough part is being around food all day. Having discipline will be key. I am in my 12th month from surgery. I eat out 2-3 times a week. I can always find food that is sleeve and diet friendly. If not, restaurants will always prepare food the way I want it. They have been very accommodating. Alcohol can also be tough, especially in social situations, It is all about choices. Owning a restaurant, you can prepare food the way you want it!

I don't think that your profession matters to your success but I do think it will present challenges to you. I am a big proponent of personal choice. No one makes you choose the foods you eat. I did not make great choices with food, that is why I had surgery.

Sometimes I think we do not place enough emphasis on the mental side of this equation. It is probably the most important. A year out, I still track everything I eat. I weigh and measure a lot of the time and I am careful around my food triggers. Try to find time to eat mindfully, get away from the hustle and bustle when it is time to eat and make good choices. You will do great!

[Bob B 103]

Sorry if I wasn't clear...

I'm not really worried that the customers will have a problem with it. I am worried about my sense of self-worth and my identity. I'm the "food guy," both personally and professionally. It's what I do for a living AND what I have done socially and as a hobby for about 30 years. I know that there are people out there who do things other than eat food, sell food, talk about food, and research food, but I'm not that person.

My biggest fear is "losing myself." I know that this is addict talk. I've heard alcoholics and drug addicts wonder aloud what they would do with their time if they couldn't drink, but I know this is the right decision for my health.

So has anyone had issues with identity struggles after surgery?

Edited December 8, 2014 by Bob B

[cdenney123 103]

I think everyones life changes with a major event like this. I work for a huge soda and snack company and thats all I sell yet I cant eat it or now drink it. You can still have your passion and love in what you do it will just be different.