Begin.Again.

[accidentalarmor 14]

Let me just say this first: If I read this two years ago, I would have had second thoughts about having the surgery. Having had the surgery, I don't regret having it- at all. This story is mine, and I'm ok with it.

When I had my surgery I was 336lbs. I am 5'6" and at the time I was 29 years old. That was 2012. Today, I weigh 260lbs. In October of 2013, I got to my lowest weight of 210lbs.

Gaining weight was never a fear, not losing was a fear. Gaining back 50lbs has been a nightmare.

I have a million reasons for how the weight gain happened. That feeling, that nagging hungry/craving feeling returned in August 2013, I got married, moved and started a new high stress job. I felt exposed at 210lbs, I was afraid to get smaller. I was not sure how to handle being "not fat". It's all crap. Here is the truth, I'm a food addict with a super dysfunctional relationship with my weight and my body. The sleeve, it didn't fix my head, and I didn't either.

What this surgery taught me is what behaviors help me to lose weight. I have a powerful tool and I know how to lose. Today, I begin again.

I worked out today, drank Water, ate high Protein & very low carb, and I planned my food and tracked my intake. I told on myself about my addiction (you all) and I held myself accountable. I know if I do this, I will lose.

I'm a food addict. One day down. Tomorrow: Begin. Again.

[Elode 8,093]

Congrats on getting it together and re-starting your progress!

[joatsaint 2,814]

Thanks for sharing your story. I have gone through some of those same worries about how I was going to deal with being "not fat".

[Babbs 14,680]

Beautifully stated and honest. You are going to do just fine. You have an amazing attitude and know exactly what to do. You did it before, and you'll do it again! And congrats on the weight loss you've already accomplished!

[Flygirl123 150]

I needed to read this.. Thank you for sharing!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Great post.

Honesty. It can save us.

[kikicoates78 220]

God love ya! Keep at it girlie. U CAN do this.

[Cody's mom 247]

I admire you, you fell off the wagon and are brave enough to get back on. I truly believe that many of us are addicted to food, it's probably the most important relationship some of us have, and the thought of losing that strong bond and love is scary. I too was scared to lose that best friend, but at some point you look at it and say what is more important..

I wish you nothing but the best of luck, this is something you can do, never give up, you've come so far already. Take it one day at a time, don't look back, look ahead!

[UK Cathy 977]

Brave of you to share well done. I wish you all the best with your restart. I need to give myself a kick too, I'm 12lb up on my lowest weight and I need to get to grips otherwise it will go up over the Christmas holiday. Life has been a little stressful the past 3 weeks but it is over now and I need to get back to sensible eating. I put my back out in September and I could not exercise for a few weeks but again that is just an excuse now and I need to get back to regular exercise. Let's support each other.

[Rogofulm 2,440]

Thank you for your honesty! Posts like yours are the reason I started coming to BP in the first place. And they're the reason I keep coming back. My greatest fear is exactly what you are going through right now. The reality is that the beast is still out there for all of us. Statistics show that there is a high likelihood of a "bounce" from our low weight. But from what I've read, if you can get it back under control, you stand an excellent chance of making it permanent. You've taken the first step. Keep your sleeve full of liquid between meals to stave off the hunger. I wish you total success in your new journey. You know how to do this, now do it!!!

[athena3127 199]

I personally want to thank you for post! This is one of the better posts I've read thus far. Brutal honesty and accountability. You have put the spotlight directly on accountability which we must all task ourselves with as we walk our own journeys. Together we support each other in the ups and downs of the roller coaster ride giving helpful hints and tricks to make it through the difficult times. Celebrating the next pound lost and rejoicing in the victory of our accomplishments. Answering the before and after questions that the newbies bring to the board for we all were a newbie at one point.

Again I thank you for your post.

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. Charles R. Swindoll.

[cdenney123 103]

This is great to read Im new so Im feeling that scared place of not looseing the weight like I expect too. My question I have is did you go back to being able to eat like you did before the sleeve? What caused the gain if you can only eat a small dose?

[kimdlawson06 141]

Very powerful, very candid story. You show so much strength and resolve! Everything happens for a reason and this is a part of your journey! Keep us posted!!!