Do you tell people you had Weight Loss Surgery?

[SeahawksFan 444]

My husband and BF are the only 2 people that know I had the surgery done. My BMI was around 30 but I have always been a yo yo dieter so I did this to lose the weight for good and didn't want to hear from everyone that I didn't need to do it. Usually I am a totally open person about everything but for once I've decided to do something for me. Like some of the others I will just say I am eating smaller sizes of Protein and produce. I have always exercised so that's not really changed. I could just never out run my fork.

Good luck to everyone-

LA

[amponder 396]

@@BeagleLover I also had a primary care Dr. that everytime I would bring up WLS she would shake her head and would not even discuss the issue with me. She is no longer my Dr. I am so glad I dropped her as she wasn't giving me the right BP meds or monitoring my irregular heart either that should have had medication as well. Sometimes we really have to be our own advocates.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Very glad to hear that people are advocating for themselves and finding doctors who are more knowledgeable, more supportive, and better physicians.

So smart! The times they are a-changing.

[labwalker 1,177]

I've never seen a reason to insult anyone who has commented on my weight loss and how I look. (For the ladies, I can understand how catty remarks from jealous "friends" might deserve some sterner responses!)

If someone comments on my weight loss, I thank them for noticing. Beyond that, I let it be known that I try to follow a diet, and that I try to get to the gym at least five times a week for an hour each visit. I don't see the need to share that I had WLS for several reasons! One, it was a personal decision, that affects my life. Two, I don't want my success or failure to be judged! We don't need to hear we could have "done it on our own," or that WLS is the "easy way out."

One thing in my favor is that I have been able to lose weight in the past by dieting and exercising in the summer. WLS carries me through the long winters, and joining a gym did the rest. I have told folks that I joined a gym, and I've let it be known that I go almost everyday. Even when on a recent cruise I hit the gym each morning. I'm guessing most of them figure I am making a stronger effort this time around, since the weight is not coming back on, at least for the last two years!

[tptacnik 3]

I have only included a very small number of people in my weight loss journey~ my husband and kids and my parents. I refused to tell my in-laws because of their judgmental attitudes because I fully believe in trying to only surround myself with positive people right now. The only thing I say to people if they comment on my weight or notice that I have lost, is "I have made some changes to my lifestyle" and then I drop it. Most people, if they were raised with any kind of manners, wont ask any more questions or pursue the subject.

[TheProfessor 378]

I told just my favourite people: Hubby and daughter (14) - both ridiculously loving and supportive, and then three others - my sister, who was all "OMG! JEALOUS!" and then two dear GFs who I used as references for my financing. I had to provide two non-family references, so those two were it! I was a little nervous telling them. No need. They were WONDERFULLY supportive.

As for boss and colleagues, no way. I have told them I am going in to have laparoscopic surgery on December 18th for a para-esophegeal hiatus hernia... which is TRUE. (and it just so happens that an Allergan lap-band might just fall into the incision(s) at the same time, wrap itself around the base of my esophagus and stay put. You never know. Surgery is risky. Anything can happen.

I adore my colleagues, but telling them about my surgery doesn't feel quite right. Nice thing about having the hernia repaired is that it becomes a nice excuse for the weight loss.

Am I chicken? Maybe. Everything else in my life I am wide open about!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

LOL at the falling LapBand.

[Dakota Girl 38]

I live in a small rural community also, so I can relate to the need for a 'script,' it is much smoother and less awkward when you're prepared. I like the " eating less and moving more," that sounds good.

I told quite a few people about my WLS, and it doesn't bother me, but I can understand your apprehension.

Another thing that I have been told before when I asked someone how they lost weight is, "Just not eating the stuff I have no business eating," that was to the point and I didn't feel the need to inquire further, it was obvious they were not interested in elaborating.

Edited December 7, 2014 by Dakota Girl

[emsgirl114 88]

I'm with you. I say thanks, it's hard work. And when they ask how are you doing it, I say. I eat less and exercise more and try not to eat crappy food. If they push it, I just end conversation. That's the people who need to loose 10 pounds and think they are obese. Others i have said I'm working closely with my doctor. The few people outside of family I've told have also had procedure.

I know just how you feel. I appreciate the compliment but please don't state at my body. That's creepy. What I like is when people day things like...you look so happy or I would have never of guessed you were 46.

But above all else, be proud you are taking control! Ignore idiots. They are out there. Surround yourself with people who love you.

[Cupcake 801]

Hi I didn't tell anyone except my husband and kids It's no one else business everyone knew I started making changes 1 year ago on bring healthy so it was no surprise when I started loosing weight I was only off work for 2 weeks and I was on vacation during this time so no one is the wiser, I have been working on loosing weight for 1 and a half years in prep for the new me and I am now almost 7 months post opt and I have 70 pounds to go to goal weight and I know I'm going to make it . Good luck .

[wildGoose 207]

While I was on my Protein drink diet, I told a few people who asked. Some of the responses were downright rude.

"Oh, my neighbor had it, she gained it all back." or "Eeeew!" I could go on. Now when people ask I just tell them what I am doing, but not about the surgery. That seems to work. Since I had uterine cancer leading up to the surgery, I don't want people to be worrying about my weight loss, but I don't want to defend the surgery, either.

[BryBro63 410]

I've told family, my boss (for obvious reasons, but he's very cool and respects my wishes of privacy), and few very close friends. I don't have a problem talking about it, but it's truly a personal thing. My sister had gastric bypass surgery, and she told me it's not so much you who changes...it's more the people around you that change...friends as well as family. I'm now almost 11 months post-op, and I'm finding that truer words were never spoken!!! You find out very quickly who your supporters are, who your haters are, and who could care less one way or the other!!

[Laurac727 92]

I decided first off to only tell my hubs and adult children, that went well. Then within a week we were dealing with a family funeral and my mom and dad were living at my house during grandma ICU stent and funeral planning and services. So guess when I got my first scheduling call, right beside MOM! UGGGG the LAST person I wanted to know, now she does. So far it has been a huge trial with her knowing and I guess I just need to learn to ignore her and avoid the subject totally at all costs for my own sanity. I have one coworker that had RNY 8 years ago and is my inspiration so she knows. I have told no one at work. I have told no more family. I don't think that I want to for many reasons. Mom is enough to deal with daily let alone with this as her ammo. I have been studying and watching boards, I know I need a plan on what to tell them post and how to handle that but I am sure I have time for that since tomorrow is my psych eval and first Doc meeting, I have PT and NUT to do yet and whatever pre testing they schedule, so I know I have time to come up with that plan.

[della street 213]

Here's what's bothering me about telling -- it then brings up the (obvious) fact that you're obese. I don't talk to many people about my weight, I try very hard to mentally ignore it with most people (if that makes sense...) because it's so embarrassing and shameful to me -- even though it's obviously very obvious (sorry for double-wording there, lol...). My thought (for me, everyone's mileage will vary...) is why admit it openly and open myself up to people talking about my weight? I did tell one close work-friend who is very slender, but also not judgmental at all, and she said "oh, that sounds scary" -- not in a super-negative way, but it was her first reaction. I said "well, yes, it is scary, but I'm also very grateful and excited that my new insurance plan will cover it". So I guess I'm still grappling with the shame and humiliation of even mentioning anything about my weight in any kind of conversation. UGH.

[MarylandCrab 25]

I think Dave Barry once said that unless you see a baby's head emerging at that moment, it's never appropriate to ask a woman if she's pregnant. I kind of take that approach to weight loss -- unless I see one of your scars, I would never ask someone if they had bariatric surgery. It's just rude.

That being said, not all people have our sort of sensitivity and impeccable manners I'm still months away from having surgery and I really want to tell people that I'm planning to do it but I know that as soon as I open my mouth I'm going to regret it, particularly my co-workers. I wonder how I'll feel afterwards. I don't know @Islandsneezer. Maybe if you lose a large amount of weight your confidence level will change. Still, your customers/my students are going to notice. I guess we better come up with some good stories/responses.