Help me please! I continue to gain weight!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

You probably know this already... but one of the ways people regain is that whole "I am not hungry enough to eat a real meal".... so then they are not satiated so that is when liquid calories and little snacky unhealthy foods start sneaking in. Those snacky foods are insideous. It seems like you really aren't eating... but the carbs and calorie count can be astounding.

So, while I understand not having hunger for Breakfast and lunch, I think it is important to get at least a small amount of nutrient dense food (ie Protein and veggies in) and it may prevent over eating in the evening.

I say don't buy into the "my metabolism is nil" story. I KNOW I need to eat less compared to other women my relative age/size. Oh well, that is life. Sort of dwelling on that crap is just negativity. We each have to find our own path, and what we need may adapt over time even. I compare this to my orthopedic doctor who told me that he never likes to tell people they have "bone on bone" arthritis. What matters is can they function with a managable amount of pain or discomfort? If they can, who cares what the XRays show.

Relating back to food, I genuinely believe that eating the right kinds of food will help you manage your weight over strict calorie control. If it were just calories, I would have been trim while following weight watchers etc and I never was.

I am one of the rare people that don't track (although i believe in the value of it) because I KNOW that eating healthy foods, in sort of the program I typed up is how I maintain.

[Julie norton 2,850]

Lisa

I am sending you a personal note. I think I truly know how you feel. I also lost my wonderful husband last May. Turned my life upside down. I try not to post here too much about my loss

...I save a lot for my counselor❤️

[Lisa's Hope 421]

Lisa,

I have also gotten way off track, it's a recurring issue with me, and I know what I need to do, it's just a matter of not letting myself "forget" it once my weight gets back in my comfort zone. For me, personally, I cannot handle sugar in moderation. I know lots of folks can, and being able to have the occasional treat is key to staying on track. For ME, those treats have to be sugar-free, or I get sucked back in and get totally out of control, and it takes ages to drag myself back on track. I've got coming up on 4 weeks sugar-free under my belt, and it's SO much easier to stay on track once I get myself there.

I'll second the suggestion for Click, I love the mocha flavor. You can order it from Amazon, I'm not sure I've ever seen it in a store.

Jane's response is awesome on so many accounts. It truly is about being brutally honest with yourself about what will work for you, vs what's an excuse not to give up something you've become attached to.

I think if you can get 2-3 solid weeks of good eating habits behind you, you'll begin to really feel a difference, and it won't be such a struggle, but the key is to arm yourself with every possible tool you can think of for those 2-3 weeks. MyFitnessPal helps me, journaling helps sometimes, checking in on WLS sites like this one, or blogs that inspire me help keep me focused. Another strategy that's worked for me before is to join a challenge of some sort. MyTinyTank runs 6-week challenges every few weeks on a private Facebook page. Unfortunately you just missed the start of one (Nov. 29), but check out her website for more info (just search for MyTinyTank).

If you're on MyFitnessPal, send me a PM if you'd like to connect there for daily checking-in and support. I'm walking the same path, I'd be glad of some company in getting my weight back under control.

Thank you so much for your advice. I'm like that too with sugar. I'm an addict. I need not have it. I know you are right about getting a few weeks under my belt. It will be a lot easier.

[Lisa's Hope 421]

You probably know this already... but one of the ways people regain is that whole "I am not hungry enough to eat a real meal".... so then they are not satiated so that is when liquid calories and little snacky unhealthy foods start sneaking in. Those snacky foods are insideous. It seems like you really aren't eating... but the carbs and calorie count can be astounding.

So, while I understand not having hunger for breakfast and lunch, I think it is important to get at least a small amount of nutrient dense food (ie Protein and veggies in) and it may prevent over eating in the evening.

I say don't buy into the "my metabolism is nil" story. I KNOW I need to eat less compared to other women my relative age/size. Oh well, that is life. Sort of dwelling on that crap is just negativity. We each have to find our own path, and what we need may adapt over time even. I compare this to my orthopedic doctor who told me that he never likes to tell people they have "bone on bone" arthritis. What matters is can they function with a managable amount of pain or discomfort? If they can, who cares what the XRays show.

Relating back to food, I genuinely believe that eating the right kinds of food will help you manage your weight over strict calorie control. If it were just calories, I would have been trim while following weight watchers etc and I never was.

I am one of the rare people that don't track (although i believe in the value of it) because I KNOW that eating healthy foods, in sort of the program I typed up is how I maintain.

You're an inspiration!

The metabolic profile was a blood analysis done by my PCP. My metabolism is low only because I'm not eating or exercising enough. Hopefully, I can turn it around. The encouragement helps! Y'all have given me a push and so for today things are better.

Thanks <3

[Lisa's Hope 421]

Lisa -- what about thinking of some replacements for these triggers? Maybe replace the separate cups of coffee and Protein drinks with Protein coffee? I drink Click, and there's another called Chike. They're tasty on their own, but you can blend in sugar-free Creamers or flavors to make it taste more like an indulgent drink. If you combine the coffee drink and Protein Drinks, reducing your overall quantity in a day, you reduce your calorie intake. As for the fudgecicles, perhaps switch to diet hot chocolate? One packet is 20-25 calories, and you still get that chocolate flavor. If it's the Popsicle you want, maybe switch to 10 calorie sugar-free Popsicles.

I agree with others that you need to take a hard look at this before it gets too out of hand, and while you should have grace for yourself, you should not allow your husband's passing to cause you to make excuses when it comes to your health and eating. Counseling is a great idea, but I've also been very helped by a local GriefShare class. New semesters will start in January. Take one day at a time, and perhaps begin tracking again so you can keep those liquid and snack calories in check.

I'm ordering the Click today. I'm excited about this.. Thank you so much!!!

[lsereno 2,525]

Hi Lisa,

I'm 3.5 years out. I've got a little off track over the summer and holidays and gained 10 lbs.

The key for me is healthy foods and limiting Snacks and treats. I have substitutes for high calorie favorites. For example:

PB2 mixed with Water and apple slices as dippers

Fat free, plain greek yogurt mixed with splenda and topped with frozen blueberries

sugar free hot cider mix with a splash of sugar free caramel Syrup

Hot Gingerbread Tea with Splenda

For Breakfast, I eat one small serving of whole grain, such as a 100% whole wheat muffin or 1/4 cup of oats cooked with 3/4 cup Water, and some Protein. Either greek yogurt or low fat turkey sausage.

For lunch, I often eat Soup. I am lazy and eat the canned Soups. I drain off some of the liquid and add extra veggies and meat.

For an afternoon snack, I have a little Protein such as a slice of ham rolled around a piece of string cheese.

For dinner, it's more whole grain, veggies, and protein.

After dinner snack is fruit or fruit and yogurt. Sometimes the PB2 and apples.

I'm thinking of you. If you're interested in trying the 5:2 plan, I'm checking in on that thread every Monday to report my weight and provide details of the previous week's eating.

Lynda

[blondebomb 580]

try adding in more protein..go talk to a therapist. you can do this. first step always the hardest. after the ice is broken it will hopfully get better. clean out cabinets. food is being used for comfort which you already no that...get you some sf treats. I have been drinking some of the lil high Protein shots..there not bad in taste. throw out the processed sugars..breads..etc. you must be drinking some really high cal coffees...I drink coffee every morning an during the days hot tea or ice tea but I have stevia in the house an I use the dairy/soy free coconut Creamer french vanilla flavor..sugar free syrups..if I need the extra creamy stuff I get the real deal in the tall can..its got less then 1 sugar..I can afford to use it. when your in distress like this I totally get it. by making the needed changes again you can get your life back on track and maybe think of doing this for the both of you...he would want the best for you. maybe get out take a walk in the fresh air if weather permitting. call up a friend. get support. you need it. I no for me I no this isnt a spiritual forum..but I am one who fully relies on my creator..prayer ...some do some dont.,,he is always there for those who believe. I hope you can get some comfort in an alternative way instead of using the carbs..which is what your brain is craving..you know as well as I do the body craves the brain release of the feel good drugs...its hooked again...turn it around!

[Queen of Crop 1,103]

Hi Lisa....I cannot even imagine the emotional pain you are going through. I am 3+ years out and my eating is pretty much under control but like you, I take in way too many calories with coffee and wine and Cookies. I try to do the 5:2 but am not being very good at it, but as a small start for you (at least this works for me for a baby step) I always have two days a week that is a NO WINE, NO COOKIE DAY. So at least on those two days I am eliminating about 400 carb calories. So you may want to start with something like that. The counseling suggestions are good too; what you are dealing with is powerful stuff. I would also suggest joining a gym...not just for the exercise but when you go to the gym you are surrounded by positive energy and people who care about their health and it can be infectious. Perhaps taking on a new project...remodeling a room, moving to a new place, something that will take your mind in a new direction. I know now that it is very easy to slip into bad habits again, but just look how happy you look in those great photos you attached...that woman is still inside you!!!! Good luck and keep us posted.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Lisa... I have gained 7 pounds sense I lost my mom in July. I just started eating when I "felt" like it. I threw a lot of my structure out the window. Eating out, eating when I had the time, eating after emotional work taking care of mom in the hospital, or going through her closet and personal stuff after she passed.... I just want to eat thinking about it! I think If I didn't have a day or two a week following (poorly) the 5:2 structure, I would have gained 20 easily. I am in the process right now tightening up my intake... and eating by plan, not by feelings. I still can have delicious food, but it needs to be planned, and I need to maintain consciousness while I eat it... and not look for something there that is not there... eating will not bring back my mom, and will not make me feel better in the long run, so I just try to feel what I feel, and find a way of expressing how it makes me feel in my painting, my dance class, the way I dress, the color of my hair and lots of other ways.... but not in how I stuff my face when I hurt..... stuff it with the food that is most drug like... for me that is mostly sugar and refined carbs mixed with just the right amount of fat. I do love creamy coffee, cakes and such... and I find ways to include lighter versions in my diet, when I PLAN it to be there. It worked for me before, and I hope, even with this extra stress ... it will work again for me. You can do it Lisa, you can enjoy your life again, and food can be your friend, helping your health and bringing vibrancy and strength with it.... Its not a betrail to your dear husband to enjoy life again... he would love it for you Im sure. One step at a time... You have come so far, and have not slipped back beyond redemption... You have some great advice here... try three days, then see if you can make it a week.... as Jane suggested...take one or two things you can transform into a healthier habit, then go from there. Time will pass weather you step off into this new path or not, so you.... we.... might as well step off now and get a head start on getting back to where we want to be.

[OCSlim 63]

Hey Everyone,

I haven't posted here in some time. I'm still dealing with the loss of my husband. It has been almost 6 months. When he was diagnosed in January I was almost at goal but now I've gained 40 pounds back. OH LORD.. I'm so ashamed but I swear. I don't eat a lot but I take in a lot of liquid calories and I can't seem to stop. Three cups of coffee every morning made with my Keurig which I use milk in each cup. I do use skim milk but I would think that each cup of coffee has around 250 calories. Milk, creamer, etc. I drink a shake for breakfast, and lunch, then I eat a meal around 5 pm. I don't have trouble with food. I never eat fast foods at all. But the stupid coffee!!! GOD HELP ME! Frappes... THE DEVIL! Also, fudgesicles. Now these fudgesicles have 80 calories... but when you can't stop eating them...... ugh. I know what I need to do but I can't do it. I need control. I have been walking everyday. Doesn't do anything to keep the weight from coming back. I've gained 22 of these pounds since I buried my husband in June. It just keeps coming and I can't stop it. I'm so out of control. I'm going to gain it ALL back!!! I never thought I would be back here. I was 300HW, LW 168, CW 212. Going right back to food for comfort as I've always done. I miss my husband so much!! I know he wouldn't want this for me. Taking care of him for 6 months and seeing him suffer so much. I know I need counseling as well or something but this weight gain... it just keeps coming everyday. I still don't get how I'm gaining so fast. I would have to take in 3500 calories over the 1200 I need a day to live and maintain. AM I really taking in 4700 a day!???? NOOOOOOO!! I don't get it. Help... I need some sample menus from you all at goal... some advice... some diets you are doing. Just give me a plan to go by. I can't remember how I ate before.

Thank you!!! The pics attached are me at my lowest, six months ago, and now.

DecJuly.jpg November2014.jpg

Hi Lisa,

I'm so very sorry for your loss, and hope and pray that you will be comforted in your grief.

I'm scheduled for surgery next week, but also started therapy a month ago for an eating disorder. I have used food to bind anxiety since I suffered a violent assault when I was 5. I'm seeing a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and trauma, as well as a registered dietician who also specializes in eating disorders. A good therapist can help you use food as the nutritive substance it is, rather than a means to palate pain.

I know most people don't have eating disorders,but anyone with a BMI greater than 30 certainly has an issue with disordered eating and could probably use some help. With all that you are dealing with, it would really provide you with a construct for support and healing, as well as set you up for long-term success.

Blessings and hugs!

[Lisa's Hope 421]

Thank you all for the great advice. I appreciate it so much.

I am a believer and if I didn't' have Jesus in my life, I would have already left this world. Things are just too hard but I do have Him and I wouldn't ever do anything like that to myself.

I do use sugar to self medicate. I don't however eat carbs like bread, Pasta, cake, Cookies... etc. I drink frappes from McDonald's almost everyday. They have 540 calories for a medium. My coffee at home has between 200 and 250. I say that because I use my espresso Keurig and use skim milk and Creamers. The creamer is 35 calories per tablespoon. That is a lot and it adds up. I was eating fudgesickles that are 80 calories each but when I start eating them.. I can't stop.... but haven't bought anymore. Other than that I eat 1 meal a day. That meal is Protein, cheese, and veggies. That's it. The weight that I've gained has come on in a years time. Well, my husband was diagnosed in Jan. I was 178 pounds. I gained to 190 when he died in June. Then the rest 22 pounds since June.

All of your words and encouragement has helped me so much and all of you are right. The world goes on whether I do this to myself or not and my husband wouldn't want that. He told me before he died to please take care of myself and how sorry he was to leave me because he knows I'm mostly alone in this world. I have a 23 year old daughter who's life isn't going well and life is just so hard right now.

As far as joining a gym, I'm disabled with my back. I worked for 33 years but as of the last year and half I've been receiving my benefits from disability. I like to say this because this is MY money I paid in all those years. I do walk and that is pretty much all I can do. I have had three car accidents... not my fault.. lol but still need surgery in my neck. My back I have introverted budging disc that are pressing on my spinal cord.

For the last two days I've done better. No fudge sickles at all and sf creamers in my coffee. Ordered Click Protein and I think this will suffice.

I took out my jeans in my closet and I have from size 10 to 16. I was so sad looking at my size 10's. I would be happy in a 12. I don't want to go up anymore. I don't want to go back. I know I'm am ultimately in charge of my own happiness.

Much love to all of you. Thanks again. I'm sure most of you have seen my husband but I wanted to add a picture just for y'all who haven't seen him. I love him so much and he was such a good man. I prayed for him for along time but only had him for 11 years. Better than none at all. He was 48. This is what happened to my husband in six months. Cancer is relentless and evil.

 

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

You are a beautiful woman..in spirit and looks. Love yourself, keep on keeping on. Offer still stands to talk about specific habit because I too became a coffee junky.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Hi Lisa,

I think you are an awesome woman with a bright spirit and kind heart, based on the way you cared for your husband. The six month mark after a death is a tough one, and with holidays approaching, it's even tougher. You are doing the best you can. That's all any of us can do.

First, I agree with @@CowgirlJane, the calorie math is crap. There is way more to it than that. However, having said that, it's one of the guides we do have to use to gauge our intake. You probably know what yours should be, otherwise you wouldn't have been so successful to start with. Use that knowledge to guide yourself now. I use myfitnesspal, and the best advice I can give you around that is weigh, measure, and be brutally honest with yourself. That's one of my key actions to keep on track.

Second, sometimes during stress you actually can gain weight without an increase in calories, or you can gain in a disproportionate amount to intake. Do some research on stress and weight gain. Lack of sleep (which often accompanies stress and depression) can also lead to weight gain. You could try a counselor for that as you mentioned. However, I was a hospice nurse, so I do suggest you contact your local hospice and join the support group if you have not already done so. They have bereavement coordinators who can talk with you and visit, as well as spiritual care people. The support groups are wonderful. Another idea is to volunteer with them. We had the most wonderful volunteers who had been through losses with hospice, and they said it gave them purpose and the opportunity for social interaction, often with people who had similar experiences. Or maybe you have a church or other group that you'd like to help. It's a way to get out of the house, not strain your back, and have a purpose.

As for how to manage your diet, I am with you on the coffee creamer!! When I was 300 pounds, I always had black coffee. Lately, I've been drawn to pumpkin spice coffee in the keurig, and pumpkin coffee creamer. That 35 calories does add up. I'm also going to have to give that up - and I really don't want to! But I know that it is contributing to me hanging on to the last few pounds. It is really hard to make that change, isn't it? I do have the chike coffee, and I love it!

And keep coming here for support. We got your back

[lsereno 2,525]

HI Lisa,

I do like a homemade version of flavored coffees. I use Starbucks Via Decaf mix with hot soy milk and a splash of sugar free pumpkin Syrup.

Another seasonal flavor is I mix splenda, pumpkin puree, vanilla, and cinnamon in my non-fat plain greek yogurt.

Lynda

[Lisa's Hope 421]

Hi Lisa,

I think you are an awesome woman with a bright spirit and kind heart, based on the way you cared for your husband. The six month mark after a death is a tough one, and with holidays approaching, it's even tougher. You are doing the best you can. That's all any of us can do.

First, I agree with @@CowgirlJane, the calorie math is crap. There is way more to it than that. However, having said that, it's one of the guides we do have to use to gauge our intake. You probably know what yours should be, otherwise you wouldn't have been so successful to start with. Use that knowledge to guide yourself now. I use myfitnesspal, and the best advice I can give you around that is weigh, measure, and be brutally honest with yourself. That's one of my key actions to keep on track.

Second, sometimes during stress you actually can gain weight without an increase in calories, or you can gain in a disproportionate amount to intake. Do some research on stress and weight gain. Lack of sleep (which often accompanies stress and depression) can also lead to weight gain. You could try a counselor for that as you mentioned. However, I was a hospice nurse, so I do suggest you contact your local hospice and join the support group if you have not already done so. They have bereavement coordinators who can talk with you and visit, as well as spiritual care people. The support groups are wonderful. Another idea is to volunteer with them. We had the most wonderful volunteers who had been through losses with hospice, and they said it gave them purpose and the opportunity for social interaction, often with people who had similar experiences. Or maybe you have a church or other group that you'd like to help. It's a way to get out of the house, not strain your back, and have a purpose.

As for how to manage your diet, I am with you on the coffee creamer!! When I was 300 pounds, I always had black coffee. Lately, I've been drawn to pumpkin spice coffee in the keurig, and pumpkin coffee creamer. That 35 calories does add up. I'm also going to have to give that up - and I really don't want to! But I know that it is contributing to me hanging on to the last few pounds. It is really hard to make that change, isn't it? I do have the chike coffee, and I love it!

And keep coming here for support. We got your back

You are so sweet. Thank you so much for your understanding. I'm so emotional, it made me cry. Now my brother in Georgia is suffering with liver cancer and also my cousin. Seems to never stop. It is so evil.

You seem to understand exactly what I'm facing. I can't thank you enough for your kind heart and words. God bless.