Boys

[ElyQuint 446]

I have an interesting issue with house spouse and I'm guessing I'm far from the only one. He took care of me through this process but still thinks it was a bad idea. He is a chef and has food obsessions. He is overweight (not like I was) and says that he'd rather enjoy life and die young than obsess about sugars ect. I really want him to be excited about getting healthy cause I don't want to spend my fifties pushing his wheel chair to chemo every day because he wanted to eat hot dogs. Sometimes I want to break up about it. Anyone?

[Elode 8,093]

@@ElyQuint What is a "house spouse"? I've never heard that before is it a boyfriend you live with or your actual husband? ....anyway I can see how you might be a little frustrated but remember you made the decision to have WLS for yourself and only yourself. You can expect someone else to change their life just because you did. If you don't want to be with your partner anymore because of the "what ifs" then so be it. Weight is not the only thing people die of and it doesn't mean he will be in a wheelchair or on chemo..(not sure how chemo even has anything to do with it) If the man is happy the way he is then leave him be and if you feel the need to leave than leave but don't try to make him be something he's not.

[SuperDave 1,115]

As a "boy" myself, I would definitely say that I think us guys tend to have more of a "live until I die" attitude. We are invincible, if only in our own minds. Beating him over the head with your new healthier lifestyle will most likely just make him resentful of you. He most likely feels that this is not what he signed up for when he became your "house spouse." I can't tell you what to do, but speaking as a male, he is not likely to suddenly change how he feels about the situation. I guarantee you that if you have had thoughts of leaving, he has too. Good luck with all of this!

[Introvert 53]

Remember how you felt whenever someone around you decided to go on a diet and thought you should join them? Or kept you informed of every detail of exercise or meal calorie count? He's feeling the same way... YOU made the decision to change YOUR life. After he sees your commitment AND success maybe it will motivate him to change. If you're really concerned just refuse to buy or stock the fridge with the dangerous foods (sodas, processed foods etc.) Let him get those things himself. My husband and kids are a little irritated when I shop now but I think they're are sifting through the foods to experience new healthy tastes and are acquiring new tongues...

[ElyQuint 446]

WOW. A. My house spouse is my a live in. He takes care of the house and I bring home the facon. Whether we are married or not is between us. Lol. B. Obesity is widely regarded in the medical community as contributing to a multitude of cancers for which chemo is a staple treatment. C. I'm not nearly as concerned with his weight as I am with his health which is dictated heavily by what you put in your face and hot dogs are bad and C. I'm not asking for anyone's judgment or even advice about whether to depart. I'm asking if anyone has had similar feelings. D. I never tried to make him be something he isn't. I expressed a feeling on a forum where people experiencing a similar life change might be able to shed some light on this new emotional experience I'm having. I'm not forcing any of my life choices on him (except the decor, that's all me.) Let me rephrase the question. I have a man whose health concerns me as I improve my own. Sometimes this concern is so overwhelming I feel like I have to end the relationship. Has anyone experienced similar feelings? (@Introvert: He's a chef. I'm not allowed to shop, stock or cook!

[Jersrose43 837]

Is he supporting you by making foods you can eat or is he sabotaging that? If so you need to go

[ElyQuint 446]

Well. He's trying really hard but he doesn't seem to get. And his cooking is awesome (thank heavens) but I do pretend to eat because his intentions are so good but his math is way off!