I Have No Motivation That Pushes Me

[finediva 979]

@RiskyGirl21. Good morning. Hope all is well. We haven't seen you check in by posting, but I feel you maybe reading all the heartfelt responses posted. Are you overwhelmed by the response? Don't be. We heard a young woman in physical and emotional pain and came to your aide. So keep reading and check in at some point, and let us know how you're doing and feeling. I hope you can tell we're standing with you in the struggle you're currently experiencing. Oh, you know I have to add.....did you take some baby steps today? Hope to see you back on here soon.

[scrapbasket 83]

I'm certainly benefitting from all the suggestions & timely reminders of what I already knew but haven't been applying.

For me, lack of motivation is due to LIFE- thumping me down- hard, over & over. Hard life-stuff, like yesterday, just as I opened my car door upon arrival at work, a huge black truck flying by fast & close, drove way inside the parking line & smashed / folded/ shoved up the driver door into the front end, & nearly took off my leg. I'd just started to maneuver my leg out of the car. Thankfully, I wasnt hurt. I'm trying to keep my focus on that! Not easy. He must've been texting or cell-talking to go that far over the parking line to hit my door- which wouldn't open nor close after that.

This, just a couple/few wks after someone at work put rubbing alcohol in my water bottle while I was on break at work- which made me vomit blood for several days, then sporadically, now occasionally. Still trying to manage the inflammation from that.

Life's a real b***h sometimes!

It's like I've been in a black-hole, a never-ending looong cycle of BS-pummeling- keeps putting me down- on the couch. I get my energy back- then BAM! Something else. Big stuff.

I really need to go do a hyawaska negative energy-cleansing to finally disperse this black cloud that's been following me around for way too long.

Next band appt, I get to consult with my actual surgeon for the 1st time since my survey 5yrs ago. (they use PA's for fills, unfills etc after surgery), I'll get some tests to see what the damage was/is. Hopefully the doc can help me fix this.

I'm going to ask her about hyawaska. It's common for most people to purge repeatedly following consumption

Sometimes, ok frequently, it's all I can do to get my chit together and go to work- an extremely toxic work environment filled with unbelievably toxic people.

Getting up to do the "happy-happy-joy-joy" dance to tunes is the last thing i feel like doing right now.

BUT I know once I do, I'll feel 'lighter', my spirits & mental energy will lift UP! Way up.

Sometimes what I know, is hard to apply. Real hard. I'm working on it.

Thanks to everyone for posting so many fabulous ideas & methodologies that are truly helping me pick myself up again. <3

I'm following this thread closely

someone put rubbing alcohol in your Water bottle? that is attempted murder. call the police.

[sunnkistme 76]

I constantly struggle with motivation. Something I think I might try for TV watching: My mom had one of those huge exercise balls and would just sit and bounce when commercials came on. She has many physical ailments but could do this one thing. She said it made her feel much stronger (good core strength) I do believe I need to try it.

[esskay77 785]

Those yoga balls to sit on are great. A lot of people at work use them at their desk instead of a chair. THey say the same thing, it helps strengthen the core.

[Stevehud 1,790]

I am going to be a very teenys bit controversial but for a good reason. If Riskygirl hasn't had her surgery yet, I would have to ask if you are really ready for this. I have studied here and everywhere else for years before finally getting the mindset in place to know I can do this. And I know we all want you to succeed and be happy. If you haven't had the surgery yet, you may want to do some soul searching and talk to a professional so you can truly decide if you are going to go all in on this.

Now if you have had your surgery, I would still suggest seeing someone , post surgical depression is a real thing, and many many here have gone through it and have listed great advice. But depression is an awful thing and hopefully you can find someone to help you through it.

Good luck and I hope you find your way in this. you can do it.

[motherof5 364]

Motivation doesn't come for many of us until we start seeing some reward for our actions. Our actions don't come until we see that motivation. It's a vicious cycle that only YOU can break.

Give yourself permission to lay in bed. Give yourself permission to watch TV. Give yourself permission to do the things you think you want to do instead of moving your body. Make those your rewards, though, instead of your alternatives.

There is nothing I enjoy more than settling into the corner of my couch with the fireplace on reading a trashy novel. I could and would do it all day easily. I have a business to run, kids to feed, a house to clean, a husband to nag, too, though. When I am feeling really overwhelmed and low (which I am quite sure you are feeling right now), it's almost impossible to do anything but lay in that comfy corner.

My solution? The timer on my phone. I set it for 15 minutes and in that time, I have to mark at least one thing off my to-do list. It might be cleaning, it might be a power walk around the block with the dog, or it might be prepping dinner. When the timer on my phone sounds, I give myself 15 minutes or so back on the couch, and repeat. Most of the time I am able to push myself to get more than one thing done and work a little longer than the 15. If I can't, I can't and I give myself permission to "reward" myself as long as I get up again when the buzzer goes off. It sounds simplistic, but it's a very easy system that I have trained myself to go by when I need to.

One hundred plus pounds less of me, I find that I rarely need to use this system any more.

I won't say it's easy, but I will say it's worth it.

Very nice lipsticklady. I like that little reward system that you had going on. It is a struggle for us. Like you, I have a house to take care of and it will get hectic if I didn't move. I am thankful for that because it does keep me moving. I can get real comfy on my couch with my phone in my hand viewing Pinterest. I even fell asleep on it before and that never happened before lol.The vets gave some good advice. Thx.

[Dabliss111114 180]

I'm still new in this game, but I can tell you that all the advice I've read from people who posted above me is sound. My doctor is an excellent surgeon, but has the worst bedside manner on the planet. He originally told me that I HAD to walk 30 minutes 2X a day before my surgery and every day after, then get myself into a gym, a pool, or do something, or I wouldn't loose my weight. I told him (before my surgery) that I couldn't even walk down the driveway to get the mail because my knees and ankles hurt so much. His response was..... you have to move whether you like it or not.

He made me cry even before I had my surgery. His nurses on the other hand are wonderful people and understood my issue. They have all told me the same thing....

We can't motivate ourselves to do something we simply just can't do. Our BODIES will motivate us as they feel stronger and more able. The key is to really believe that you can help your body heal and grow stronger, and the way to do that is to just push it a little each day. It might be just as others have said......take a few steps around the room today. Tomorrow, take those same steps then add a few more, maybe to another room. A little further each day until you're standing outside, then a few steps on the driveway. Before you know it your body, not you mind, will "motivate" you to go just a little further.

I believed them, and only 2 weeks post op I believe my body. I've only lost 24 lbs since I started my pre-op liquid diet, but I feel better than I have in a very long time. Believe it or not, my knees and my ankle don't hurt nearly like they did. I don't know if it's the 24lbs, the difference in what I'm putting into my stomach or what, but I did what they suggested, and just today I not only walked to the mailbox, I walked up the street the distance of 3 houses, which are pretty far apart because we all have at least 2 acres of property between us and back without any trouble.

So, believe in yourself....believe in your body and you will be able to do this.

[scstxrn 213]

Isometrics might be your best friend right now. Thirty to sixty seconds every time you should on yourself. And depression, tsh, and Vitamin D evals

[JALUVIC 79]

I'm not very wise, but I was told something similar many years ago that is what others have mentioned and it has always stuck with me: ACT and the FEELINGS will follow. So, I would agree, I'm highly unmotivated, but it's almost like you have to "pretend" if that makes sense.

I also would advise not over thinking the whole process. Don't even think about it....don't talk to yourself about it for a half hour before you get up. Enjoy yourself in that bed! And then ...get up. Don't do a lot of self talk in between...you are in bed, enjoying it, and then you aren't. Period. I also agree - set the timer on your phone. My dad who had a stroke many years ago, did this as he got into his nineties (he actually used a little kitchen timer, bless his heart) - he would sit for 10 mins, and get up, move around for 10 and then sit again. Maybe set the timer for 30 mins in bed, 5 mins march in place, or five mins up and down the hall. Oh, and an anti-depressant in the right dose can really help. (has me anyway).

Good luck - come back here every day and get the support you need too.

[Puppypaws57 137]

Hi Risky Girl - I suffer from depression and know how hard it is to get out of bed. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you.

[RiskyGirl21 19]

I would like to thank everyone who replied to my thread. You inspired me to set a very easy to do goal for right now. Your advice shows me I can depend on Barictricpal whenever I need support or motivation. I am now on my way to becoming an active person.

[scstxrn 213]

I would like to thank everyone who replied to my thread. You inspired me to set a very easy to do goal for right now. Your advice shows me I can depend on Barictricpal whenever I need support or motivation. I am now on my way to becoming an active person.

You make my heart smile. Sometimes, a little love to help displace some of the self loathing is very helpful in realizing what a strong person you are.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I would like to thank everyone who replied to my thread

@Riskygirl2

phew, there you are

i was afraid you fell asleep while you were reading some of these posts

many of us sending you "good luvin" so you can get your assss in gear

now start to become the success i know you are meant to be

drink, drink and then drink!!!!

very important

follow all the other rules too

get out of bed, NOW!!!! did you hear me??? get up NOW

ahhhh there you are, good

start walking around, just a bit

lots of good information and vibes being sent from all over

ok bud - chat over

get going and walking, "please "

good luck

kathy

Edited November 25, 2014 by proudgrammy

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

@Riskygirl2

Good to see you're reading... processing... hopefully implementing some of these valuable suggestions.

Baby steps are where it's at! (At least for me)

These last few days, I've gotten up even though I didn't really want to, made it to my appointments & work (really really didn't want to go there! SO toxic, so draconian, mindless minions of haters- the antithesis of who "I" am- drudgery and fear of WTF is next?!?!) and at least maintaining a semi-sense of 'normalcy' taking care of what matters most: taking care of my 87yo dad (my physical [not sexual] abuser who had nowhere else to go - which is another whole realm of weirdness - had seriously to crack open my heart & find true forgiveness on that one- and thankfully it's working) ) cleaned some of what needed cleaning around the house, took care of some business (not nearly what I needed to) and plunk! back onto the couch again for a few (as a reward, as suggested).

Gratefully, Baby steps recommendations seem to be working for me.

For now, it's the best I can do - and that's ok. I used to be SUCH a confidant over-achiever. I'm mostly confidant now, mourning who I once was.

We have to be who we are now, in this moment.

One thing's for sure- we choose what we do with every minute of our lives. ACT, don't react to what life delivers. The choice is ours.

I hope baby steps are working for you, too doll.

*hugs

[JerseyJules 862]

I will say this about motivation. It never comes looking for you,ever. I have worked out most of my adult life and battled my weight my entire life. Not one time have I ever been motivated to work out,ever. But I got my ass up and did it anyway,and continue to do so cause I simply know I HAVE to keep moving, my life literally depends on it.

When I sit, I get lazy,tired and depressed and that is 3 of my triggers to eat..Food makes me feel better, but exercise makes me feel even better in the long run. The more you move,the more you want to move.

Another motivating factor for me is a bit more morbid. I tell myself "do I really want to spend the rest of my days like this? Or do I want to experience all life has to offer for the next 20-30-40 years?". I can tell you if it weren't for me moving and being so active my eating related health issues would be compounded ten fold.

Start small like everyone suggested, then work you way up each day,each week. Join a gym or if you dont like that atmosphere,buy a treadmill and just start walking during a favorite TV show ,before you know it you'll feel better and look better. But you HAVE to get up and move, you simply have to...

The motivation comes from within, it never comes looking for you and gets you out of bed, you really do have to make it yourself.