I Have No Motivation That Pushes Me

[RiskyGirl21 19]

I want to do some working out everyday but always decide to stay in my bed. I know it is bad for me to be sedentary and inactive but yet everyday I decided to stay in bed. Becoming immobile, picturing my family blaming themselves for my death by obesity, developing a stroke or heart disease, or even ending up in a hospital bed does not motivate me. I have dreams, goals and even reasons for why I want lose weight but they are not strong enough to reach me and get me self motivated to get out of bed everyday and workout at least 30 minutes a day. I can't even motivate myself to do at least 5 minutes of exercise everyday. Not even rewarding myself motivates me. Nothing motivates me. How am I suppose to exercise when the drive to just lay in bed and watch tv is more overwhelming that I succumb to it every time.

[finediva 979]

Hello, so don't think of it like working out. That just sound daunting and you mentally don't want to do it. Just get up and walk. Just get out of bed and take a slow stroll. Just take a slow stroll a couple times a day. Then gradually go a little further. Not work out. Just walk. Walk first inside your house then try outside. Little distances. Just start. On another note,you maybe suffering from some depression. It happens to alot of us. If possible, talk to your PCP and get a rederral to talk with someone. Again, just walk. Not work out. Just walk. Start today. Best.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

I want to do some working out everyday but always decide to stay in my bed. I know it is bad for me to be sedentary and inactive but yet everyday I decided to stay in bed. Becoming immobile, picturing my family blaming themselves for my death by obesity, developing a stroke or heart disease, or even ending up in a hospital bed does not motivate me. I have dreams, goals and even reasons for why I want lose weight but they are not strong enough to reach me and get me self motivated to get out of bed everyday and workout at least 30 minutes a day. I can't even motivate myself to do at least 5 minutes of exercise everyday. Not even rewarding myself motivates me. Nothing motivates me. How am I suppose to exercise when the drive to just lay in bed and watch tv is more overwhelming that I succumb to it every time.

when i had my surgery, i was so large i could hardly walk...walking to the bathroom was nearly impossible.

i could not do anything.when i was at home, i marched in placed..2 minutes and i thought i was having a heart attack....at work, when i went to the bathroom, it was 84 steps one way. that was my exercise for about 6 months..i was so heavy, i could not do anything...the more i lost (due to me not being able to eat much) helped build my confidence..i started walking to the end of my driveway and back. thats it..and then i walked to the corner of the street...you dont have to run a marathon to lose weight..you just need to get your mind straight..so we have a weight problem..OK, we had WLS to help us..now we just have to help ourselves..somedays i dont wanna do anything but eat potato chips...my motivation is looking at my highest weight ever picture..and it was a 5x stretch skirt...i do not want to be that ever again..its either do or not...so you dont want to work out today....dont....just be careful with your calorie intake then...if you eat more calories than you burn off, you wont lose and may gain....so its vice versa....like @@finediva said...take a walk...walk down the hall and back........GREAT JOB if you do that...you can..yes you can....if you wanted to

♥

[parisshel 1,892]

Here's a little secret: it's not motivation that makes us take action, it's actually the reverse.

If you act--in this case, do some movement, even 30 seconds--the motivation will kick in.

For years I thought that I had to find my motivation in order to start in on movement or diet. I had to "gear up" to my next weight loss program...get in the mood, wait for that "click" in my brain, before I embarked on that diet.

After my band, I realized that the motivation happens AFTER I just start moving around.

So don't wait until you hear motivation knocking. It doesn't work that way for most of us. Just act, do, move. Force yourself to get out and walk, even if it just one block. You'll see...that will kickstart your motivation.

[Gee Vann 12]

Good morning. I have been there before and it's a terrible feeling. Sadly while you are in that frame of mind not one person around you really gets it either. The only one who can help you is you. You should put in bold big writing some positive affirmations on paper and tape to the wall directly where you would look while laying in bed as well as other places. Such as; YOU CAN DO THIS, GET MOVING, YOU NEED THIS, I WANT TO LIVE, FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, I LOVE MYSELF, YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL etc. These are just some examples. Just make sure there all around you where ever you go in your house and say them outloud as you read them everytime you look at one. The idea is to eventually believe it so you can put it into your actions. Even if right now you don't feel that way but its all about changing your perception of yourself and your situation. Also it's all about baby steps to start. When you think that way at least sit up or stand up and walk to another part of house. You dont have to start with 30 minutes. Start with one or three minutes and just increase by minutes every other day and before you know it you WILL be doing 30 or more minutes eventually. It all starts in your mind. Also try watching motivational things on tv while laying down. Shows of a positive nature. I hope this helps you and I pray you find the strength to dig deep inside and change you into who you want to be. YOUR WORTH IT AND DESERVE TO FEEL HAPPY. God bless you.

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

I'm where you are now.

No motivation after a really harsh set-back.

Weak & tired, can't get off the couch.

Thank you for this post!

Lets me know I'm not alone & is helping me find ways to get myself back on track.

Thanks you posters!!!!

<3

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Motivation doesn't come for many of us until we start seeing some reward for our actions. Our actions don't come until we see that motivation. It's a vicious cycle that only YOU can break.

Give yourself permission to lay in bed. Give yourself permission to watch TV. Give yourself permission to do the things you think you want to do instead of moving your body. Make those your rewards, though, instead of your alternatives.

There is nothing I enjoy more than settling into the corner of my couch with the fireplace on reading a trashy novel. I could and would do it all day easily. I have a business to run, kids to feed, a house to clean, a husband to nag, too, though. When I am feeling really overwhelmed and low (which I am quite sure you are feeling right now), it's almost impossible to do anything but lay in that comfy corner.

My solution? The timer on my phone. I set it for 15 minutes and in that time, I have to mark at least one thing off my to-do list. It might be cleaning, it might be a power walk around the block with the dog, or it might be prepping dinner. When the timer on my phone sounds, I give myself 15 minutes or so back on the couch, and repeat. Most of the time I am able to push myself to get more than one thing done and work a little longer than the 15. If I can't, I can't and I give myself permission to "reward" myself as long as I get up again when the buzzer goes off. It sounds simplistic, but it's a very easy system that I have trained myself to go by when I need to.

One hundred plus pounds less of me, I find that I rarely need to use this system any more.

I won't say it's easy, but I will say it's worth it.

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I have that arguement with myself many mornings... I need to get up and workout, I don't want to get up, Get up NOW!, It's cold...

You have to just keep doing it until you make it happen. It's not motivation -- it's just doing it. My doctor gave me a good idea... he said to just agree with yourself that you will walk or move or whatever for 5 minutes. If you get up and do that, you'll probably find after 5 minutes that you are ok to keep going. It's the getting moving part that's hard.

You just have to make up your mind and do it. Don't wait for some magic... get up and do it.

[Steviefan1 126]

WOW! RiskyGirl21 and NewLife'sGr8; Ya'll could not have possibly gotten any better advice as you have from these vets...and even a special way-in from the ever wise, LipstickLady herself! These people ( including all that post after them) KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT! Please, please listen to them. They truly want you to have success like they have...so they are passing on the hard-learned tried and true lessons they have learned. They want to help you save your own life! I don't want to scare you, but I was watching 'My 600 Pound Life' or something like that, and this beautiful Jamaican woman named Dominique just would not comply even after she waited 2 years for her surgery. When she finally got the surgery, , she STILL did not comply. At the end it showed her 6 children burying her. I was so shocked, I burst into tears...

[deedadumble 1,033]

Have you been evaluated for depression and/or thyroid issues? When my thyroid levels are off, I struggle with getting out of bed. Depression can also make it really hard to motivate yourself.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I think you have received great advice.

I equate TV watching with "mind numbing". It is a way to not face the world. For me, obesity and over eating did that too. Somehow, I experienced the world a little more dull, a little less intensely on a full (over full) stomach. one of the huge adjustments for me over the last 3 years has been getting used to "feeling" EVERYTHING. It is calming down a lot now, but i tell you I had no idea how strong the pull of "numbing" things were for me (TV, movies, internet, computer games, reading way too many books etc.)

I theorize you don't lack motivation, but rather your emotional state feels a lot safer in bed hiding behind your TV.

Even after being at goal for a while, living a very active lifestyle, every once in a while i have a day where i crawl in bed after work with my kindle and bury myself in netflix, Facebook and other mindless activities. I feel blessed that is the minority of the time, not the majority.

As a practical matter, have you considered disconnecting cable? Or at least moving the TV out of the bedroom. That might encourage behavior change.

Good luck - I really don't think this is about your "lack of motivation". I suspect there is more going on here. It has been my experience that obese people have LOTS of motivation and willpower, they just aren't always successful at how they use it/deploy it.

[gowalking 10,790]

I know that for me, socialization is a big part of working out. I joined the Y and take Water exercise classes. When I am feeling like I don't want to change into my suit and get wet, I think about how nice it is to sit and chat with the ladies in the sauna after our class is over. That's my 'treat' for doing the hour of exercises first.

Find what works for you to help you to motivate. It's not easy but we are here to help you and I am glad you reached out.

[sophie'sChoice 269]

Greetings! Don't worry about "working out" right now. Just think about adding some movement. Baby steps if you will. It will all help. Sit up in bed, and do arm raises over your head, arm circles out to the side. add a little weight when you can to make it a little harder. Sit on the side of your bed and go from sitting to standing as many times as you can during commercial breaks. It all counts. Every little bit counts. As the weight comes off you will be able to do more and more. You can do this!

[MisforMimi 760]

Love the advice given on this thread! My first thought was depression and sometimes it is not a "snap out of it" type of situation. It can require medication and some good old CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Also, not to make this a class war or anything but I would also find a vet closer to your start weight to get some realistic expectations for what your journey will look like. I always say you cannot put a weight limit on misery. A person with 80 to loose can be as miserable as someone with 200 pounds. Your journey might require more professional help. No shame. No judgement. Do what you gotta to make this work for you! You are already heading in the right direction by asking for help! Keep us posted on your progress.....

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

No motivation? Then make a deal with yourself. Promise yourself that you will not be that person you see on the news. The obese person who suddenly gets sick and they have to cut them out the house.

OR

Find that fun activity that makes you not mind working out. For me it was Water aerobics. There was something freeing about the way my body feels in the Water. The payoff was my knees stopped hurting and as my knees stopped aching, I wanted to attend more classes. Suddenly I found out I enjoyed working out.

OR

Pay yourself. Create a bank account and for every 10 minutes of activity you pay the account a dollar. Maybe your goal is a new wide screen tv with all the bells and whistles.

The key is you have to dig deep and find some sort of motivation or bargain you can make with yourself. We can offer suggestions, but ultimately it's on you.

Edited November 21, 2014 by Blerdgirl