Struggling with fears... normal?

[Vad1988 27]

I'm 26 and have been overweight all my life. I've recently discovered I have fatty liver and high cholesterol which at my age is pretty scary. That's what made me take the step and look into gastric sleeve surgery as I felt the other two offered are not right for me. I have a daughter that needs me and I want to be here for her, be a better mom, and set a good example. But as I researched and read more about the sleeve I've become kinda scared and wonder if I'm doing the right thing for me. Am I going to be able to keep up the lifestyle necessary for the next 50+ years of my life? How will this affect me when I'm 70? What if they come out with something in the future where I won't have to to loose half my stomach or deal with the side effects of a surgery? These are all things I am asking myself. Not to mention food intolerances, not being able to drink or lay down after eating, tracking Protein, Vitamins, ect. Although, I am fortunate enough where my insurance will pay 100% right now and I will be loosing this insurance next year. Timing couldn't be more perfect for this surgery. I know that I've tried everything I can and this is the only way I feel I will become healthy, and I want to start living not just existing. I want to start nursing school, which I know loosing weight will help me be better at my job, be a better mom, and wife. I'm not sure if I'm just scared of the huge change and fear of the unknown or if this really isn't right for me. Has anyone else had feelings like this? I'm really struggling with this.

[bumpusRN 1]

28 year old, Registered Nurse, mother of 3 here......I'm seriously considering WLS as well however I'm leaning toward being banded. Nursing life is very fast paced and stressful, I'm not sure I could handle a WLS an nursing school (but that is just my honest opinion). I understand about the insurance issue completely!! These are good questions that you ask and maybe it is worth sitting down with a surgeon to discuss. good luck in school and with your weight loss journey!!

[Elode 8,093]

@@Vad1988 I think almost everybody has those same fears, you can literally read that subject line in here everyday. It's a big decision I am sleeved, I've had no issues and I feel beyond blessed to have it. Everyone is different everybody's "journey" is different. It's is a lot of unknown that you won't know unless you do it. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't thats a decision you have to make for yourself but no your not alone with those feelings. If you do decide to take that plunge I would do extensive research on the band.......

[Bufflehead 6,358]

Am I going to be able to keep up the lifestyle necessary for the next 50+ years of my life?

At least you'll likely have 50+ years of your life to worry about your lifestyle. Stay obese and your odds are pretty bad.

How will this affect me when I'm 70?

1. You'll be alive. 2. You'll eat smaller portions and take a multi-Vitamin every day. Definitely ask your surgeon about long term risks, but keep in mind the long term benefits as well as the long term risks of obesity (diabetes, death, etc.).

What if they come out with something in the future where I won't have to to loose half my stomach or deal with the side effects of a surgery?

How long are you willing to wait on that possibility? Does the quality of your life now matter to you?

These are all things I am asking myself. Not to mention food intolerances, not being able to drink or lay down after eating, tracking Protein, Vitamins, ect.

Not everyone has food intolerances. I don't have any, besides not feeling great after eating yeasty bread or a carbonated drinks. I don't miss them. I also don't miss worrying about whether I will fit into chairs, chub rub, shopping in plus size clothing stores, having out of control blood pressure, or arthritis that prevented me from walking very far. I don't miss drinking after eating. It's not a big deal, you get used to it. I do track Protein and calories and all that stuff, but not everyone does. That's a matter of personal preference, especially the farther you get out of surgery. Honestly after a year or so your life is very normal in my experience.

[Kimberly_R 43]

I had surgery on October 13th. I had many of the same fears that you do. I had a panic attack a week before my surgery and almost called it off.

I can tell you that even though I am only 5+ weeks out I do not regret it at all. The surgery is actually much safer than we are lead to believe. It is fast. Recovery is hard for some people and easier for others, but you do recover. The things you are fearing about how you feel will go away. You just have to remember that. I know some folks who had terribler recoveries and now 4-5 weeks out they are doing fine.

As for food. It is psychologically shocking that I can eat 1/4-1/2 cup of something and be full. Seriously! You wont want more. It is a discipline to get in all the liquids and Protein and food and exercise. When people say that surgery is the easy way out I want to punch them. Many people I know who are further along than I am are eating just about everything they want to, just in small quantities.

I'm not saying it isn't difficult but for me it has been my emotional life that has been the challenge. Not being able to self-sooth with food or wine means the truth about my feelings are very present. I have had to develop new ways of coping but in the long run I'd rather deal with this kind of pain (because you do get over it) than all of the things I have had to deal with as an obese person.

My high weight before surgery was 275. I had surgery on October 13th. I know weigh 240 and am now in one size down. I can move around and exercise without pain and I am happy!!!

Your decision is personal. You are 22 years younger than me and I wish I had done this sooner. I could have had a totally different life. You have time to wait. You will likely have insurance again in the future. Don't push yourself if you are not ready. But, I wanted to let you know how scared I was because when I read your post I feeling like I was reading something I could have written.

Praying for you and your decision-making process.

Kimberly

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Science is always making new headway in the medical field. But do we look for the possible future if's or if not's they come up with something better or do we grab a hold of the surgery that has come a long way now and do what we can to become healthier so that we can do the things we need and want to do. Right now there are three options but the first option of stomach stapling still worked. There are thousands of people around today that had it done and are still living the weight loss journey.

If I had the choices I had now back when I was in my late 20's early 30's I would have taken it. Weight problems for me only made my life more difficult. And as the weight piled on from failed diets my health got worse.

What if's can paralyze a person. You have to be sure you are ready and being informed is the best way. What you are feeling is indeed normal. If you were not feeling that way I would be sure you were not entirely ready for this kind of commitment.

[mfm116 55]

There are risks for everything we do in life! Right now, you are putting your life more at risk by making unhealthy choices than you ever would by getting this surgery! I was sleeved on June 5th of this year (I was 23 at the time so I know what it's like to be young with this struggle!) and would not trade my decision for anything! Yes there are risks, very minor compared to most surgeries. My surgeon told me getting your gall bladder out is more risky. You do have to make major lifestyle changes if you want to succeed. To me, it was worth it to get myself the surgery and have to deal with things like waiting 30 minutes between eating and drinking, or cutting my food into smaller pieces. Eventually, your body adjusts and it just becomes the new normal.

At the end of the day, only YOU can decide to do this for YOURSELF. It has to be your choice. If you do it for any other reason, it becomes much harder to succeed. I was terrified when I initially made the decision. But the cool thing is, you have to get so many tests, go through psych evaluations, meet with your surgeon, meet with a nutrition, that a lot of the fears go away. Knowledge is power right? Chances are- your doctor has heard all your fears before and will be able to help you.

I wrote about my ENTIRE VSG journey so you may want to check that out to help you. You're doing the right thing by asking- I absorbed as much as I could from people that had gone through it.

[Mbstas 57]

I waited until my mid 50s to start living my life. I have missed out on so much but am thankful to now be living my authentic life!

[Vad1988 27]

Sorry it took me so long to respond but I wanted to think long and hard about what everyone said and do some more research for myself. I want to thank every person that responded to my post. I have decided that I am going to move forward in having Sleeve Surgery. I should have everything submitted to the insurance company at the end of February and if all goes to plan surgery in March or April. I'm so glad to know that it's normal to feel this way and although I'm still scared I know this is going to be best for my health in the long run. Thanks again!

[Miss Mac 6,262]

I waited until I had a stroke. I am so glad you have decided to be pro-active about your health and longevity before you are doomed to a lifetime of pain and disease. I just passed my one year mark, and aside from being lighter, I feel so much better and my body functions quite well on way less food. My new normal is just fine. I do have to be vigilant, but it is the price I pay for not croaking out before my time.

I like to refer new people to this Spark People link about what things weigh. If you have 100 pounds to lose like I did, that is like having a pony for a belt! If you live to be 98 like my maternal grandmother, that would be like hauling that pony around 24/7 for another 72 years.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3421351

[allyray 108]

I have to say I struggle with the same thing... Fear of permanency with the surgery, but... I NEED something that is permanent. The amount of weight that I have lost gained lost gained has likely done sooo much damage to my body, let alone the risks of staying morbidly obese for any longer. I don't want to be like this anymore...I don't want to sweat like crazy anymore, I don't want to strain to wipe myself anymore just to make sure I'm clean after I use the washroom, I don't want to worry about the smell under the flaps of skin I have,I want to sleep in the same bed as my husband again without waking him up al night from my snoring because of my huge neck fat... I COULD GO ON AND ON!!!! For these reasons (and many many more), I am getting the sleeve as soon as I'm through the process! Good luck with your decision and trust me...most of us have or have had the same fears!!!

[mrs kaje 347]

Good on you for making the decision to move ahead. I'm ten years older than you and I am just starting the process - wish I had done something at your age instead of waiting until now.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I'm 26 and have been overweight all my life. I've recently discovered I have fatty liver and high cholesterol which at my age is pretty scary. That's what made me take the step and look into gastric sleeve surgery as I felt the other two offered are not right for me. I have a daughter that needs me and I want to be here for her, be a better mom, and set a good example. But as I researched and read more about the sleeve I've become kinda scared and wonder if I'm doing the right thing for me. Am I going to be able to keep up the lifestyle necessary for the next 50+ years of my life? How will this affect me when I'm 70? What if they come out with something in the future where I won't have to to loose half my stomach or deal with the side effects of a surgery? These are all things I am asking myself. Not to mention food intolerances, not being able to drink or lay down after eating, tracking Protein, Vitamins, ect. Although, I am fortunate enough where my insurance will pay 100% right now and I will be loosing this insurance next year. Timing couldn't be more perfect for this surgery. I know that I've tried everything I can and this is the only way I feel I will become healthy, and I want to start living not just existing. I want to start nursing school, which I know loosing weight will help me be better at my job, be a better mom, and wife. I'm not sure if I'm just scared of the huge change and fear of the unknown or if this really isn't right for me. Has anyone else had feelings like this? I'm really struggling with this.

I see you've decided to go forward with the sleeve surgery. Good for you. I am nearly twice your age and really wish I had done this years ago. If it matters any, not everyone has complications or difficulties with the surgery. I had none. Not even gas.

So congratulations on making a smart decision.