Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Not telling family



Recommended Posts

This is a really difficult one for me,i am a widow with just one surviving son.My precious younger son commited suicide by hanging himself 4 years ago and my older treasured son was the person who found him.I remember us clinging together on that dreadful day and i promised him and he promised me that we would never do anything that would take us away from each other.Shortly after my gastric band slipped and i had to have emergency surgery and was in intensive care.I will never forget my son`s distraught face when he came to see me.We have gone through so much together and though we miss my other son and always will we have found some joy in life through my grandsons and my son is getting married after Christmas to a girl that i can only describe as the daughter i never had.

My weight has got out of control and my mobility was suffering and i knew i had to do something,i want to be around to share my life with my son and his wife and grandchildren.So though i would never lie to my lovely son i just haven`t told him yet.He would never judge me but i couldn`t tell him till i came out the other side.I am 5days out of surgery and i am going to stay at his house on 6th Dec.I shall tell him then.Lpve to you all and best wishes.pippinleicester x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven’t told my family, I just told one member after the surgery. I did say I was having surgery though, God forbid something happened to me I wanted them to know where I went and that I loved them. My reasoning is because its personal and I rather do it at my own time and I have one member of my family that is the human social media. Once they know, people in China will be tweeting about it. So I have to wait get my health back to normal and my routine in tact. As for the holidays, I do not like lying. I would say I don’t want, can’t have or something that is closer to the truth. Eventually it will be known so just take it slow and do what feels comfortable. For me it will be once I am feeling like my normal self. I am not ashamed, I just need time to deal with this life change before I start letting others give me their unwanted 2 cents. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a really difficult one for me,i am a widow with just one surviving son.My precious younger son commited suicide by hanging himself 4 years ago and my older treasured son was the person who found him.I remember us clinging together on that dreadful day and i promised him and he promised me that we would never do anything that would take us away from each other.Shortly after my gastric band slipped and i had to have emergency surgery and was in intensive care.I will never forget my son`s distraught face when he came to see me.We have gone through so much together and though we miss my other son and always will we have found some joy in life through my grandsons and my son is getting married after Christmas to a girl that i can only describe as the daughter i never had.

My weight has got out of control and my mobility was suffering and i knew i had to do something,i want to be around to share my life with my son and his wife and grandchildren.So though i would never lie to my lovely son i just haven`t told him yet.He would never judge me but i couldn`t tell him till i came out the other side.I am 5days out of surgery and i am going to stay at his house on 6th Dec.I shall tell him then.Lpve to you all and best wishes.pippinleicester x

God bless you and your family. Let him know as soon as you can. I fully understand the pain and the fear, but I feel he will also understand you wanted to be around from them, but also yourself. You seem like a strong woman and I wish you continued strength and blessings.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my immediate family which consist of my mom and sister. We all live on the same street and if I had disappeared for 2 days she would have freaked. I also thought it would be terrible if something wrong occurred during surgery and she had no idea. I had an incident where I went to the hospital for an allergic reaction and instead of the usual IV benedryl treatment they put me in a medical coma. No one knew where I was and my mother was scared. I didn't want to do that to her so at the week of my surgery I told her. Honestly if I could have not told her, I wouldn't have.

If you can just say you're under the weather or have no appetite that might be fine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have not had surgery yet, but I have told anyone who will listen. I tend to tell too much. But everyone has been supportive and even intrested themselves. They are even asking advice. I have had a couple say it seems extreme, but they are still supportive

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a really difficult one for me,i am a widow with just one surviving son.My precious younger son commited suicide by hanging himself 4 years ago and my older treasured son was the person who found him.I remember us clinging together on that dreadful day and i promised him and he promised me that we would never do anything that would take us away from each other.Shortly after my gastric band slipped and i had to have emergency surgery and was in intensive care.I will never forget my son`s distraught face when he came to see me.We have gone through so much together and though we miss my other son and always will we have found some joy in life through my grandsons and my son is getting married after Christmas to a girl that i can only describe as the daughter i never had.

My weight has got out of control and my mobility was suffering and i knew i had to do something,i want to be around to share my life with my son and his wife and grandchildren.So though i would never lie to my lovely son i just haven`t told him yet.He would never judge me but i couldn`t tell him till i came out the other side.I am 5days out of surgery and i am going to stay at his house on 6th Dec.I shall tell him then.Lpve to you all and best wishes.pippinleicester x

I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I can understand your hesitation and desire not to upset your son. Good luck on your journey and with talking with your son.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Besides my husband and my kids. I have decided not to tell anyone in my family. I have been really upset that they have badgered me about my weight gain and have made it very difficult for my to even want to be around them. What I find so insulting is that they are all extremely overweight but because my parents were both thin they assumed I should be as well. I hate also when people say that getting wls is the "easy" way out. How is it easy? I have give up almost everything and learn to re-eat and get treatment for learning how to stop overeating and go through the pain and struggle of doing without any support. If that is easy, what is hard?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a really difficult one for me,i am a widow with just one surviving son.My precious younger son commited suicide by hanging himself 4 years ago and my older treasured son was the person who found him.I remember us clinging together on that dreadful day and i promised him and he promised me that we would never do anything that would take us away from each other.Shortly after my gastric band slipped and i had to have emergency surgery and was in intensive care.I will never forget my son`s distraught face when he came to see me.We have gone through so much together and though we miss my other son and always will we have found some joy in life through my grandsons and my son is getting married after Christmas to a girl that i can only describe as the daughter i never had.

My weight has got out of control and my mobility was suffering and i knew i had to do something,i want to be around to share my life with my son and his wife and grandchildren.So though i would never lie to my lovely son i just haven`t told him yet.He would never judge me but i couldn`t tell him till i came out the other side.I am 5days out of surgery and i am going to stay at his house on 6th Dec.I shall tell him then.Lpve to you all and best wishes.pippinleicester x

I am so glad that your doing well and I understand not wanting to scare your son. My mother just lost her son at 39 to a massive stroke he was obese also it is a very very scary situation! Congrats on your surgery! !!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Besides my husband and my kids. I have decided not to tell anyone in my family. I have been really upset that they have badgered me about my weight gain and have made it very difficult for my to even want to be around them. What I find so insulting is that they are all extremely overweight but because my parents were both thin they assumed I should be as well. I hate also when people say that getting wls is the "easy" way out. How is it easy? I have give up almost everything and learn to re-eat and get treatment for learning how to stop overeating and go through the pain and struggle of doing without any support. If that is easy, what is hard?

my family is the same way thankfully my boyfriend and mom are extremely understanding everyone else will not no!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×