Lucky # Sevens- July 07 Bandsters

[IndioGirl55 32]

Karri - Love the 4 picture - Love the smile on your face that is worth 1 mil bucks.. Good Job - I am so happy for you..

Ok Phyl - Peaches & Ruby have ck'd in today

Where are Steph, Kari, Jackie,and Karri - Linda - we know you are playing catch up so you have a bye :sad: -

Nichol - how did the unfill go..

Ok I went to the gym - I did my 3 miles but OMW I had to really push myself to get the last 1.5 done - I was going to quite at 2 - said no you have to do the 3 - didn't do the incline as much but did walk 4 song at 4.0 speed.

DGD is grounded from the phone as you know - so I leave to run to the store come back and am putting grocerys a way - (had been home for a few minutes) and look at the phone - the light is on - I said who in the hell are you talking to (parents are ok) she said her freind - i said why - cuz she called. HOW FRIGGIN STUPID CAN SHE BE... When she heard me come in and she had to - why didn't she get off the phone (I am not that old that I have forgotten how to do crap - hell my parents would go out to dinner say no boys - well they came over we listened to music and when they came home out the back door they went - I just can't beleive how dumb she was to get caught - I figured she would break the rules while I was at they gym - but to get caught at it - STUPID.. - so she got slapped on the arm twice (yes I believe in corporal punishment) and now she's off the phone for 2 days..

See why I don't want anymore kids - June 13 is how many days away???

I am having chicken for dinner with some rice and veggies - have done really well today with food - I am glad to be back in my routine..

Ok well ck is done gotta go fix dinner cbl:tongue:

[phyllser 3]

Ok Phyl - Peaches & Ruby have ck'd in today

I am having chicken for dinner with some rice and veggies - have done really well today with food - I am glad to be back in my routine..

Ok well ck is done gotta go fix dinner cbl:tongue:

Hey!! I was here...

9:30 a.m.-- hair/protein/fat discussion.

Remember??

Didn't feel well most of the day... stomach cramps, slight nausea, tired and achy. Much better now, though. DH had a similar thing a couple of days ago. He was sure he had eaten leftovers that were too old... but then I got it too... and it's a couple of days later. So, has to be a virus. Anyways, not anything too miserable. I just took it easy most of the day. DH had a molar extraction this morning, so we make a good pair of couch potatoes today! I just scootered over to Albertson's & got us some fat free, 60 cal fudgcicles. That was right after his periodontist called to see if he was eating some cold foods & taking it easy. Nice of her to call & check on him.

I did do my Wii Fit stuff today, but may skip the sports things for today being that my energy level is not up to par. The more you use the Wii Fit, the more features get unlocked. There are aerobics exercises, yoga, strength training and balance exercises. My favorites are the balance exercises... which is good because my balance is terrible. I favor my right leg because the left knee is worse than the right. The ski slalom you have to lean to the right and left to ski through the flags as you go downhill. DH was showing off for DD & SIL yesterday showing them how fast he could run. So SIL decided to give it a try and discovered that you can fool the Wii in to thinking you're running just by moving your arms!! :eek::sad: That's the only thing that you don't do on the balance board.

[salsa1877 10]

I am here...just kind of a frumpy day. I don't want to post here but if you read my blog you will see! I did run 4 miles and walked 1.

Well I need to shower and then head off to bed. Thank you Janet for taking a stand with teens. They need it and we certainly appreciate as teachers. It makes our job much easier!

[Twilight 2]

Just a quick check in. I'll be on more tomorrow. I promise.

I just wanted to post to Karri....Read your blog and wanted to cry for you. I'm so sorry you are having such a horrible time. I'm sending you huge hugs and a shoulder to let it all out on. Please share with us so that we can support you. Don't hold that all in. Sharing it lets all of us carry a piece of this burden for you. It will make your life easier.

I will think about what you said and see if I can come up with any gems of advice. Until then, please just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Steph

[phyllser 3]

Me, too, Karri!

We all care!!

HUGS!

[Twilight 2]

Karri,

I thought about you all night. Had a really hard time sleeping because I wanted to help you. You have been such an inspiration and driving force in my weight loss. I hate to see you hurting like this. I don't know that I have great words of wisdom, but these are what kept going through m mind.

Get thee to a nuttery!!!! Okay, just thought I would insert a little humor there. I know that you are budgeting every penny and with DH only working part time it's really stressful, but you have insurance for a reason....because if you need to go, you need to go. Your mental health is every bit as important as your physical health. Even more so most of the time. It doesn't matter how much weight you've lost if it drives you crazy. If I had to choose I would be fat and sane instead of thin and nuts. I can live, love, work if I'm fat....I'm seriously in trouble if I'm crazy.....those things that are so important won't matter. Does that make sense?

What is the worst thing that could happen if you gain 5 pounds? You don't fit in a size 4 anymore? I seriously doubt that you would have those 5 pounds for long. You've bounced around a bit in the last 9 months...up a pound or two then down 3. You know the answer when it comes to losing. So if you gain 5, you get to lose 5. .... and you're GREAT at losing.

You say you don't think you're anorexic. I don't know the exact definition of the illness. But this obsession with how to get AROUND eating the food isn't healthy. We have an eating disorder. For so long it was OVEReating. Now you've transferred that to UNDEReating. It's still a disorder. No matter what name you put on it, it's not healthy. You need help to get through this.

As much as we love you, we are not trained to help you here. We can't discuss the deep issues. We don't know the background. We can't just sit and look in your eyes while you dig to the roots.

I don't know what your insurance policy is. I don't know how good it is. My suggestion would be to call the customer service line and ask them what their mental health policy is. If they want specifics say that your family (we are family here and DH is just as concerned) believe you have an eating disorder. I'm sure they will have some policy in place. Call them. TODAY!!! Take a step in the right direction. It may be as simple as getting on a med regimen. Remember when I was going nuts about my "cudding" problem? You told me to get to the doctor...talk until someone listens....don't give up until someone HEARS you. Now you take that same advice. PLEASE!!!!

You'll never feel better until you get this under control. You are in a size 4 and worried about eating a hamburger bun. You have got to do something. Take a deep breath, find the number for your insurance center, and CALL!

Tell us what you find out. We all love you and are sending good thoughts your way. I'm sending you all the strength I can muster to help you through those calls. CALL!!!

[kirajh 0]

Here I am. I've been lurking, just not posting. I caught a nasty cold from the grandbabies and haven't felt this bad in years. Then, I'm frustrated cause the scale is stuck at that zero number again. I joined a gym and try to go every other day. Still pedaling everyday. That's about it for me. Nothing interesting going on, so if *I don't post, it's not because I am not here.......just nothing to say, Have a good day. TTYL

[salsa1877 10]

Karri,

I thought about you all night. Had a really hard time sleeping because I wanted to help you. You have been such an inspiration and driving force in my weight loss. I hate to see you hurting like this. I don't know that I have great words of wisdom, but these are what kept going through m mind.

Get thee to a nuttery!!!! Okay, just thought I would insert a little humor there. I know that you are budgeting every penny and with DH only working part time it's really stressful, but you have insurance for a reason....because if you need to go, you need to go. Your mental health is every bit as important as your physical health. Even more so most of the time. It doesn't matter how much weight you've lost if it drives you crazy. If I had to choose I would be fat and sane instead of thin and nuts. I can live, love, work if I'm fat....I'm seriously in trouble if I'm crazy.....those things that are so important won't matter. Does that make sense?

What is the worst thing that could happen if you gain 5 pounds? You don't fit in a size 4 anymore? I seriously doubt that you would have those 5 pounds for long. You've bounced around a bit in the last 9 months...up a pound or two then down 3. You know the answer when it comes to losing. So if you gain 5, you get to lose 5. .... and you're GREAT at losing.

You say you don't think you're anorexic. I don't know the exact definition of the illness. But this obsession with how to get AROUND eating the food isn't healthy. We have an eating disorder. For so long it was OVEReating. Now you've transferred that to UNDEReating. It's still a disorder. No matter what name you put on it, it's not healthy. You need help to get through this.

As much as we love you, we are not trained to help you here. We can't discuss the deep issues. We don't know the background. We can't just sit and look in your eyes while you dig to the roots.

I don't know what your insurance policy is. I don't know how good it is. My suggestion would be to call the customer service line and ask them what their mental health policy is. If they want specifics say that your family (we are family here and DH is just as concerned) believe you have an eating disorder. I'm sure they will have some policy in place. Call them. TODAY!!! Take a step in the right direction. It may be as simple as getting on a med regimen. Remember when I was going nuts about my "cudding" problem? You told me to get to the doctor...talk until someone listens....don't give up until someone HEARS you. Now you take that same advice. PLEASE!!!!

You'll never feel better until you get this under control. You are in a size 4 and worried about eating a hamburger bun. You have got to do something. Take a deep breath, find the number for your insurance center, and CALL!

Tell us what you find out. We all love you and are sending good thoughts your way. I'm sending you all the strength I can muster to help you through those calls. CALL!!!

I know this is going to come across as defensive...and I don't mean it to be. I know that no one here is qualified to help me and that is why I didn't post it here...or anywhere on LBT. As for my insurance I have a 2500$ deductible of which I have used NONE. So therefore, any treatments that I have for ANYTHING cost me full amounts. I am not kidding you...I have 0.47 in my checking account to last until Friday. DH is frantically trying to find a job, but things just aren't working out in that arena. I would love to go to therapy...but it is NOT in the budget right now. I have 1000$ in medical bills every month, rent, 2 car payments and internet. Money really is a huge issue right now. Not to mention that I have called 3 therapists since being here and after playing phone tag for a couple weeks, they just stopped returning my phone calls. I figured that was a sign.

As for UNDEReating...I am not. I eat 1800 calories a day whether or not I like it. As for bouncing around for the last 9 months...I didn't. I never gained a single pound on my official weigh in days. I was down at least 0.5 pounds every official weigh in day. I know that I need to accept that I will gain and lose weight, but yes...even at a size 4 you can still gain weight. I am very happy with my body now...my fear is what will happen tomorrow. When I asked at my in person support group how they handled maintenance they said they gain 15 pounds, lose 15 pounds, gain 15 pounds, lose 15...that is not healthy. I want to be healthy. Yes I know I have an eating disorder. I am addicted to food. But unlike other addictions I can't just quit mine cold turkey. And what is the worst thing about gaining 5 pounds...that I keep gaining 5 pounds...and 5 more pounds. I guess I would ask anyone what is so bad about gaining 5 pounds. Would anyone here want to gain 5 pounds? I don't think anyone would want to go up a size...whether from a 4 to a 6 or a 12 to a 14. I am the same as everyone else...just at a smaller size.

LJM and I have a plan to keep each other in check. I am going to send her my daily weight and she is going to send me her daily menu. Then as long as we are both within the guidelines that we have set for ourselves then we are not allowed to panic. I am working on positive thinking. I dug out my cognative behavior books from when I was in Vegas and I have started journaling again. I am sure I will get through this, it is just a momentary lapse.

I appreciate everyone's concen and hope that our insurance is better next year. We really have CRAPPY insurance here.

Edited May 28, 2008 by salsa1877

[Twilight 2]

Karri,

I'm sorry if I sounded bossy. I'm just worried. I do understand money issues. I was a single mom going to school full time on nothing more than loans. Then I was a single mom trying to live on 1k a month with 750 in bills before food and gas. It sucks and I do understand the nothing in the bank. I guess I didn't understand that it was THAT bad for you right now. I knew things were tight but I'm sorry they are so tight. Deep breaths. This too shall pass. I wish there was more and better I could say on that front.

My point with the 5 pounds was that you are GREAT at losing. You are an expert at it. You did an AWESOME job losing your 100 pounds. I doubt that you would gain 5 pounds. You are too committed to your running and such. But if you did, you would be the first one to see it and lose it again. No I wouldn't want to gain 5 pounds. None of us would, but if we did you would be right there telling us that we need to focus and turn it around. That's all I was trying to get across.

I wish you better luck trying to find someone to talk to. Trust me, I've been trying to find a therapist for my son for months. Finally have an appointment 200 miles from here on Monday. No one wanted to touch his case. Finally found someone who would listen. My PCP had to do it though, no one wanted to talk to me. It's tough but it's important too. I'll keep sending good thoughts.

Again, I didn't mean to sound bossy or anything, I'm just concerned. If we can help, I hope we do. Nothing I can do financially or medically but I can lend some support if it will help.

Hugs

[Twilight 2]

Phyl,

I love the wii fit. I haven't done a lot of it but so far it's been fun. My wii age on that is much younger than on the wii sports.

We took it on our trip and one night we spend boxing and golfing and bowling with the family. It was great. Our 13 year old was having fun along with my 21 year old nephew (who hates everything) as well as my SIL's godmother who is about 70. How fantastic that we can all do it together. And each of us was only worried about beating ourselves, not each other....at least until DS and I boxed...then I wanted to kick his butt. He kicked mine though.

Question. How accurate do you find the balance board as far as weight? I was thinking about using that for scale since I don't trust my dial ones and I won't be seeing fill PA until July. Just wondering if it was agreeing with your scales.< /p>

Oh...and for anyone on the fence, my 4 year old loves to watch me play it. His favorite is the soccer balls flying at my head. I really suck at it too...but it's a lot of fun. I've only tried the balance stuff. Was thinking about doing the aerobic stuff today. I haven't had this much fun in a LONG time. I'm going to dod 30 minutes of that today as well as my walk tonight. I'm getting short on time to get my 20 sessions in...but am definitely going to do my best to get it all done. I still have 3 days so I'm not giving up yet.

It's been kinda quiet around here lately. I hope everyone is doing well. I need to go back and quote everyone so I remember what else I want to say. Maybe this afternoon.

Being home with the kids these last couple of days has been great. I'm loving it. I may have been sad last week but these kids are the greatest cure of all. They are so important.

Okay. Off to play something awesome with them. Oh...and on my 2nd bottle of Water. How are you all doing???

[forgve70x7 0]

Nichol - how did the unfill go..

Janet, it was uneventful, and the fastest I have EVER been in and out of the office. That was a good thing because I left home at 7:30 am, got home at 7:00 pm and then Rodney & I left for Moab, UT at 7:45. That's why I didn't have a chance to get on last night.

I was just so hungry after my appointment, that I stopped at Chipotle for a burrito. I'm still eating it today. The Doc wanted to completely unfil me until I have my EGD, but I told him I didn't want that because of how I've been lately, I know I wouldn't have the will power not to over do it. He understood, and took out .75 cc's. So, I'm down to 4.05 now. Which is fine. I may just need to really watch what I eat now for a while, and then when I have my EGD done, we'll see if anything is really wrong. Right now though, I have to stay on the Protonix.

I do have to say, I'm jealous of you guys who have a Wii...It sounds like a blast, but we can't get one right now. We are in the final process of adoption and have to save money for when we have a kid in our home. It's exciting and nerve wracking, but it will be worth it in the long run.

Anyways, I need to get some stuff done before we go for a hike, so I'll check back with you later.

~Nichole

[Frustrated 1]

I know this is going to come across as defensive...and I don't mean it to be. I know that no one here is qualified to help me and that is why I didn't post it here...or anywhere on LBT.

That doesn't sound defensive. I don't see it as an excuse either. I think everyone here has been defensive and excused their eating habits to others and ourselves because we've felt we needed to. You need to find what works for you. Sometimes the search takes far longer than the fix.

Just as with Steph, you're an inspiration to me. I take note of your victories and struggles to keep me going and to get my head where it needs to be. I must admit it's far easier to read of your successes than it is your "failures". I share so much of the paranoia and OCD tendencies that I read in your posts. I want so bad to have a body I'm proud of. I'm scared I'll never get it. I'm scared that if I'll do I'll never be able to keep it. When I was a size 22 I told myself over and over that I'd be happy being a size 14 if I could just get there. I got there and I still wasn't happy. I was happiER, but I still look in the mirror and see Fat Ruby more often than not. I don't know if she'll ever disappear.

I watched an interview with Valerie Bertinelli talking about her weight loss; not that I would describe her as "fat" in the same terms as many of us were. But she said something that rang a bell in my head. She looks great now, but she said she looks at herself in the mirror and still says to herself "I'm fat". The interviewer was surprised. My hubby sitting next to me was as well. He turned to me and asked if it was true, I said that it was. And he couldn't understand. And I don't think anyone who hasn't been fat does.

As important as exercise and food choices is in this journey, there are many more aspects that are just as important. I would put head health and rest right up there as well. I know now that my morning routine on the treadmill is no longer part of my weight loss regime. It's more important for the health of my mind. Starting off the day doing something and knowing I've done it prevents me from going for hours with the exercise chore over my head. If I don't do anything else during the day, I know I've at least done that. But I know that's no longer going to help me lose weight. I've got to do other things.

Watching how mentally drained you are becoming has also made me look at myself. As much as I want to have lost as much weight as you and be a single digit size, I don't want the frustration and stress that goes along with it. You've got stress in spades. I can't and I won't let myself go down that dark alley. So I've backed off a lot and started taking things a lot more slowly. The weight doesn't change much at all, and I'm hoping that will help me when I finally get down to the maintenance part of this journey. Right now I'd say the most concerning thing on my mind is my Hair loss. I know I can't fix that issue tomorrow and I accept that. I need to get that same state of mind where my goal weight is concerned. And that's what I'm working towards by taking a rest from the weight loss regime right now. It's far less stressful and it's refreshing and freeing not to have to worry about every single thing I put in my mouth. The only thing I'm diligent with now is my Water.< /p>

Well that's enough finger tapping from me. I could go on and on for much longer about me, but I'll spare you all. For now.

[salsa1877 10]

Thank you. I just got off the phone with DH...he really is wonderful. We are putting the scale away. I can't keep weighing three times a day. I am beginning to think that I am more addicted to the scale than I am food! And that takes a lot.

There really is no way that I am going to gain weight with all the running that I do if I am only eating 1800 calories. This will be much easier to tell when I have my surgery and get to a stable size, but I am going to rely more on just how my clothes fit. While this is a bit dangerous right now because my clothes are all too big, I will be maintaining the running workouts and 1800 calories until surgery. Once the surgery is over, I will be at a consistent size...and this process will become easier. We had a lunch meeting today and we were talking about my size 4s and someone asked me how much i weighed if I didn't mind sharing. I said 150. She said..."I weigh 135 am taller than you and am in a size 6....How does that work?" Right at that moment I realized that the SCALE was really my enemy right now. Weight and size don't necessarily go hand in hand. If I weighed 135 right now...eeek...I don't think it would be pretty! So away goes the scale. I am sure I will have some anxiety and panic over it, but right now I feel calmer than I have in weeks. I needed the "approval" of that scale for so long and now that I am starting to come to the realization that it doesn't matter the number as long as my size stays the same...I can finally breathe.

Thank you again for all your patience and concern. You have no idea how much it means to me. I am going to the library tonight to find books on anxiety and see if I can get something that will help me. 2 weeks left of school and then that part will be over for a while. I do need a break. I had surgery just 3 weeks before school started so on top of dealing with all the emotions of the surgery, I had a rough school year (which has gotten much better) and adjusting to life in a new town. It is amazing that I am still sane at all!

[peaches9 3]

Phyl,

I love the wii fit. I haven't done a lot of it but so far it's been fun. My wii age on that is much younger than on the wii sports.

We took it on our trip and one night we spend boxing and golfing and bowling with the family. It was great. Our 13 year old was having fun along with my 21 year old nephew (who hates everything) as well as my SIL's godmother who is about 70. How fantastic that we can all do it together. And each of us was only worried about beating ourselves, not each other....at least until DS and I boxed...then I wanted to kick his butt. He kicked mine though.

Question. How accurate do you find the balance board as far as weight? I was thinking about using that for scale since I don't trust my dial ones and I won't be seeing fill PA until July. Just wondering if it was agreeing with your scales.< /p>

Oh...and for anyone on the fence, my 4 year old loves to watch me play it. His favorite is the soccer balls flying at my head. I really suck at it too...but it's a lot of fun. I've only tried the balance stuff. Was thinking about doing the aerobic stuff today. I haven't had this much fun in a LONG time. I'm going to dod 30 minutes of that today as well as my walk tonight. I'm getting short on time to get my 20 sessions in...but am definitely going to do my best to get it all done. I still have 3 days so I'm not giving up yet.

It's been kinda quiet around here lately. I hope everyone is doing well. I need to go back and quote everyone so I remember what else I want to say. Maybe this afternoon.

Being home with the kids these last couple of days has been great. I'm loving it. I may have been sad last week but these kids are the greatest cure of all. They are so important.

Okay. Off to play something awesome with them. Oh...and on my 2nd bottle of Water. How are you all doing???

:scared2:

Stephanie; I just wanted you to know that you are a Special person! Your caring and concern does come across.

I have been reading the posts back and forth between Karri and you.

This has been a wonderful place for me to see others caring and concern in action. This LapBandTalk forum is a God send and all you ladies here are blessings.

[mango24 1]

Karri - If you're only eating 1800 cals a day and running as much as you do, you are going to continue losing weight. That is not enough cals to maintain.

Now this is my own opinion - if you think you are supposed to live the rest of your life w/o a snickers that is not healthy. When you ate them and couldn't stop, did you also run marathons? You are not even close to the same person you were. You are now a person in complete charge of your weight. You will never be fat again.

I went to my pre-op for surgery today. I told the doctor I want Lipo on my love handles. I have always had them, no matter how small I get. I thought it would cost about 2500. Wrong

O.K. you all are sworn to secrecy. It is almost 5000, and I paid it.

I'm not telling DH. There goes our entire tax rebate. The dr's price is 2750 for an 1 1/2 of estimated work. Hospital 1500 for it, aneste..... 432.00. Everytime I fork over a cent for this body, I think look what I've done to myself. How did I let it come to this?