Lucky # Sevens- July 07 Bandsters

[salsa1877 10]

This is a story about how carrots are terrorists. This is a TRUE story and not from a science fiction novel. If made into a movie, this film would be given a rating of R for violence and graphic details. Please be advised before allowing your eyes or the eyes of small children to read this.

Today, I decided to take the day off from work so that I didn't kill my co-workers or clients(also known as bratty teenagers). So I got out of bed at 6:30AM, facebooked for a while, and ate breafast at around 7:15. By 8AM I was out the door to go shopping in the neighboring town so as to not be seen by my employers. After gathering all the necessary cleaning supplies and ingredients for dinner tonight I headed off to Old Navy to try and find some shorts to go and visit my mommy. Considering that I only have 1 pair and the temp in Indio easily reaches into the triple digits, I thought this was a wise decision. Well apparently the store does not open until 9:30 so I spot a car wash just across the street and decide that my car, which has not been washed in months, or vacuumed in an even longer amount of time was due for spring cleaning.

After cleaning out the car and shoving what appears to be a half ton of garbage into the garbage can, I feel a rumble in my tummy. Deciding that it was an acceptable time to go to the grocery store and grab a snack, I drove to the nearby Safeway. I contemplated for about 15 mintues about what to get: a Protein Bar, fruit, veggies etc. I finally settled on a snack pack that contained carrots, grapes, pretzels and 4 cubes of cheese. 160 calories and a very healthy choice. Little did I know that those carrots were actually undercover terrorists waiting to wage war against me. Old Navy was now open and I figured that I could walk and eat at the same time. So I carefully removed the thin film that was covering the compartmentalized container and decided to eat the carrots first because I like them the least, so I wanted to be able to savor the flavors of the grapes and cheese. Old Navy is less than one block away from Safeway and it took about 2 minutes to walk there. In that amount of time I consumed about 6 baby carrots and 5 grapes. I figured that I would hang out in front of the store while I finished my snack.

As I was just about to approach the front door of the store, I felt this gurgling and rumbling feeling in my stomach. There was a garbage can to my left and the corner of the building about 10 feet in front of me. With little time to react I decided sticking my head under the garbage can cover would have been more disgusting that runnign around the corner and heaving in the bushes. However, before I could make it the 10 feet in front of me...I was erupting. However, in an attempt to maintain my dignity I dropped the snack pack and clamped my hands over my mouth. Well the force of the eruption was so hard that the slime burst through the cracks between my tightly clenched finters. There I was standing with my head in a bush by this point, slime dripping off my chin and running down my arms. Fortunatly I had a black shirt on so I was able to wipe my mouth and my hands off, turn around from the bush, pick up the snack pack, put it in the garbage and return to my car without anyone seemingly aware of the terrorist organization executing their plot in my stomach. Figuring that it was an all out assault on my body that would be done in one battle, I figured that I was alright. My ego a little bruised, and flushed from the embarrasment of my "dance" with the bush.

That was just the first wave of their assault. Those terrorists were more prepared that I had anticipated. Fortunately they ahd to regroup and gave me enought time to get back to the car. My mission to Old Navy had been quickly aborted. The next thing I know they were throwing more grenades up me esophagus. So I grabbed a grocery bag from my earlier purchases and heaved away, sighing that I was at least in the privacy of my own car and where the results of the urban warfare were not going to be splattered all over the outside of my body. However, these little buggers came prepared with weapons of mass destruction and had co-conspirators on the outside. The bag had a hole in it. So all the "evidence" of the raging war that was happening with in my body was now oozing all over my jeans. I had an entire lapful of terrorist carrot slime. I grabbed the towels that were in my car and began mopping up the mess when another wave of attacks hit. This time it came so suddenly that it was all over the towel and the front of my shirt. By this time I had given up hope of suriving this attack. I put my car in gear and headed home. I figured that once on home turf I could win this battle.

The terrorists owned the car ride and after throwing grenades, rocket launchers, anti air craft missles, and some nuclear weapons at me the ENTIRE car ride home I finally made to the comfort of my own toilet. There I fought back and heaved hard to get the bugggers out. Right now I can still tell that there are pockets of resistance, but for now, the truce is holding out.

I do declare as I stand at this moment on the verge of victory that TERRORISTS will never again invade my stomach. Those little, cute, orange cylindrical things that masks themselves as health food, will never again be trusted. They will never again be allowed to cross into my territory again. The only way their passport will be granted access into my country is they have been cooked to mush.

I hope you have enjoyed reading the non-fiction account of The Carrot Terrorist. Hopefully this best seller will NOT turn into a sequel or series.

Edited June 4, 2009 by salsa1877

[peaches9 3]

I seriously need to get Wii-Fit. I've been meaning to buy one since you all started on it a year ago (or has it been longer?). Hubby is going home to Canada this weekend to finally pack up some things he's had in storage for almost 7 years. About time! While he's gone I may spoil myself by getting it. :thumbup: He never begrudges me any purchases, but I haven't yet been able to convince myself that even though I don't NEED it, it's still okay to buy it. Guilt trips are not limited to food choices in my silly head.

Hey Ruby; since the American dollar is usually worth more than the Canadian dollar - why not get your HUBBY to pickit up while he is in Canada and bring it home to you?

You can get it at Real Canadian Super Store, or Walmart Canada for $279 console + $99 for the Wii fit board...$378 Cdn. ( or $340 US$ )

What part of Canada was your Hubby from?

[IndioGirl55 32]

Sounds good to me. I used to start with the "Sports", and then go on to the Wii Fit stuff because they wipe out my knees and then I have to quit. Doing that I can usually get in 45-60 minutes, but if I just go right to the Wii Fit balance, etc., I can only do about 30 minutes.

Supposed to be another HOT one here today... 90 degrees, then back to the 70's after that. Looking forward to visit from DS, DIL & family. DIL & DGD are planning to leave in the morning and drive. DS & DGS... if all goes according to plan, fly up in his airplane on Saturday. Of course, we are worrying about that. It will be his longest flight since he finished the airplane, and he's been having a few electrical problems. He's generally very cautious and conservative, but I know how determined he is to fly it up here and show it off. We'll be nervous until we hear he's safely arrived. DIL says he may land it up here at a small airport near us. Earl would be pretty excited about that. I'd be nervous, but excited if I could go for a ride with him, but don't think it's possible. You have to take a BIG step up onto a certain spot on the wing to get in. It has a canopy that flips up and that's how you get in. No way I can do that!

Phyl - I will be saying prayers too - That's scary - flying in a homemade plane that has been having electrical problems - I don't think I would be getting in it - I am glad you can't...

I seriously need to get Wii-Fit. I've been meaning to buy one since you all started on it a year ago (or has it been longer?). Hubby is going home to Canada this weekend to finally pack up some things he's had in storage for almost 7 years. About time! While he's gone I may spoil myself by getting it. :thumbup: He never begrudges me any purchases, but I haven't yet been able to convince myself that even though I don't NEED it, it's still okay to buy it. Guilt trips are not limited to food choices in my silly head.

Ruby - I'm with you I think I am getting one this weekend if I can find one - everyone talks about it all the time - I played at my DS's house but I would like the wii fit & and the new exercise thing they have wii something - bands yoga etc..

I haven't gotten one for the same reason - and I am going to have to give up some tv time - lbt time and fb time to do it - but I think it will be fun..

Okay.... here are some points to consider which may help to assuage your guilt about buying a Wii/Wii Fit.

The Wii Fit has a very accurate scale and will keep track of your weigh ins and your BMI and save them on a graph.

It also tracks your exercise by accumulating Fit points... I don't check that very often, but I know it does that.

Using it becomes habit, just like any other type of exercise you start doing on a regular basis.

I tend to be competitive, so I'm always striving to up my personal best scores.

It's really not just a frivolous "toy", but another tool to help us get "fit" and achieve our goals.

Oh yes another competitor !!!!

This is a story about how carrots are terrorists. This is a TRUE story and not from a science fiction novel. If made into a movie, this film would be given a rating of R for violence and graphic details. Please be advised before allowing your eyes or the eyes of small children to read this.

Today, I decided to take the day off from work so that I didn't kill my co-workers or clients(also known as bratty teenagers). So I got out of bed at 6:30AM, facebooked for a while, and ate breafast at around 7:15. By 8AM I was out the door to go shopping in the neighboring town so as to not be seen by my employers. After gathering all the necessary cleaning supplies and ingredients for dinner tonight I headed off to Old Navy to try and find some shorts to go and visit my mommy. Considering that I only have 1 pair and the temp in Indio easily reaches into the triple digits, I thought this was a wise decision. Well apparently the store does not open until 9:30 so I spot a car wash just across the street and decide that my car, which has not been washed in months, or vacuumed in an even longer amount of time was due for spring cleaning.

After cleaning out the car and shoving what appears to be a half ton of garbage into the garbage can, I feel a rumble in my tummy. Deciding that it was an acceptable time to go to the grocery store and grab a snack, I drove to the nearby Safeway. I contemplated for about 15 mintues about what to get: a Protein bar, fruit, veggies etc. I finally settled on a snack pack that contained carrots, grapes, pretzels and 4 cubes of cheese. 160 calories and a very healthy choice. Little did I know that those carrots were actually undercover terrorists waiting to wage war against me. Old Navy was now open and I figured that I could walk and eat at the same time. So I carefully removed the thin film that was covering the compartmentalized container and decided to eat the carrots first because I like them the least, so I wanted to be able to savor the flavors of the grapes and cheese. Old Navy is less than one block away from Safeway and it took about 2 minutes to walk there. In that amount of time I consumed about 6 baby carrots and 5 grapes. I figured that I would hang out in front of the store while I finished my snack.

As I was just about to approach the front door of the store, I felt this gurgling and rumbling feeling in my stomach. There was a garbage can to my left and the corner of the building about 10 feet in front of me. With little time to react I decided sticking my head under the garbage can cover would have been more disgusting that runnign around the corner and heaving in the bushes. However, before I could make it the 10 feet in front of me...I was erupting. However, in an attempt to maintain my dignity I dropped the snack pack and clamped my hands over my mouth. Well the force of the eruption was so hard that the slime burst through the cracks between my tightly clenched finters. There I was standing with my head in a bush by this point, slime dripping off my chin and running down my arms. Fortunatly I had a black shirt on so I was able to wipe my mouth and my hands off, turn around from the bush, pick up the snack pack, put it in the garbage and return to my car without anyone seemingly aware of the terrorist organization executing their plot in my stomach. Figuring that it was an all out assault on my body that would be done in one battle, I figured that I was alright. My ego a little bruised, and flushed from the embarrasment of my "dance" with the bush.

That was just the first wave of their assault. Those terrorists were more prepared that I had anticipated. Fortunately they ahd to regroup and gave me enought time to get back to the car. My mission to Old Navy had been quickly aborted. The next thing I know they were throwing more grenades up me esophagus. So I grabbed a grocery bag from my earlier purchases and heaved away, sighing that I was at least in the privacy of my own car and where the results of the urban warfare were not going to be splattered all over the outside of my body. However, these little buggers came prepared with weapons of mass destruction and had co-conspirators on the outside. The bag had a hole in it. So all the "evidence" of the raging war that was happening with in my body was now oozing all over my jeans. I had an entire lapful of terrorist carrot slime. I grabbed the towels that were in my car and began mopping up the mess when another wave of attacks hit. This time it came so suddenly that it was all over the towel and the front of my shirt. By this time I had given up hope of suriving this attack. I put my car in gear and headed home. I figured that once on home turf I could win this battle.

The terrorists owned the car ride and after throwing grenades, rocket launchers, anti air craft missles, and some nuclear weapons at me the ENTIRE car ride home I finally made to the comfort of my own toilet. There I fought back and heaved hard to get the bugggers out. Right now I can still tell that there are pockets of resistance, but for now, the truce is holding out.

I do declare as I stand at this moment on the verge of victory that TERRORISTS will never again invade my stomach. Those little, cute, orange cylindrical things that masks themselves as health food, will never again be trusted. They will never again be allowed to cross into my territory again. The only way their passport will be granted access into my country is they have been cooked to mush.

I hope you have enjoyed reading the non-fiction account of The Carrot Terrorist. Hopefully this best seller will NOT turn into a sequel or series.

You are a great writer - but darling I think you ate them too fast - 2 minutes 6 carrots plus the grape - but OMW - you bp'd for that long - I guess I am lucky - once I get it up - I'm done - I dont bp for hours - You are on liquids for the rest of the day...

Also - I had 15 minutes before lunch to killl and I am STARVING - but reading this story - distracted me and I forgot about it till right now - it's 12:07 and I am going to go eat. :w00t:)

[salsa1877 10]

They were the ultra mini carrots. You know that ones that are WAY smaller than you little finger. I thought I was actually eating them slowly, but maybe not.

[Frustrated 1]

Hey Ruby; since the American dollar is usually worth more than the Canadian dollar - why not get your HUBBY to pickit up while he is in Canada and bring it home to you?

You can get it at Real Canadian Super Store, or Walmart Canada for $279 console + $99 for the Wii fit board...$378 Cdn. ( or $340 US$ )

What part of Canada was your Hubby from?

I bought the Wii console for my little guy for Christmas last year. I have no problem parting with money for things for him. So I just need to get the fit board and game thingy. When I first wanted to get one it was impossible to find one in the stores because they were so popular, so I eventually gave up. I need help parting with more than $40 at a time on myself. :thumbup:

My hubby grew up in the Brampton area of Toronto. That's close to where he's heading this weekend. His brother still lives in Georgetown (I think) and his sister will be visiting from Ottawa, so they're all getting together over the weekend.

LMAO at Karri's Attack of the Terrorist Carrots. :w00t: I was worried about eating them myself. I bought some baby carrots over the weekend to give me a healthy snack choice. I've only eaten 3 or 4 at a time when I've snacked in case they decided to unleash their wrath on me as well. I figured 4 would be the limit I was willing to go in case of emergency evacuation. I also carry a sick bag with me for emergencies. One of those little brown lunch baggies.

[Frustrated 1]

They were the ultra mini carrots. You know that ones that are WAY smaller than you little finger. I thought I was actually eating them slowly, but maybe not.

Maybe it was also the fact that you were walking at the same time? I haven't been able to walk and eat or walk and drink at the same time since being banded.

[salsa1877 10]

I actually just think it was the carrots. I despise carrots but thought that maybe after 2 years I would like them. I eat and run all the time so I don't think it was the walking motion. If I couldn't eat and run I would die. 5 hours of running during a marathon with nothing to eat would just about kill me.

[IndioGirl55 32]

They were the ultra mini carrots. You know that ones that are WAY smaller than you little finger. I thought I was actually eating them slowly, but maybe not.

Darling - I have eaten raw carrots only a couple of time and I have had to chew very very well and not eat too fast - to me 6 little fingers in 2 minutes is fast - how are you feeling now..

I know you go on the 10th for your fill - what's the last day of school?? Monday or Tuesday??

I bought the Wii console for my little guy for Christmas last year. I have no problem parting with money for things for him. So I just need to get the fit board and game thingy. When I first wanted to get one it was impossible to find one in the stores because they were so popular, so I eventually gave up. I need help parting with more than $40 at a time on myself. :thumbup:

My hubby grew up in the Brampton area of Toronto. That's close to where he's heading this weekend. His brother still lives in Georgetown (I think) and his sister will be visiting from Ottawa, so they're all getting together over the weekend.

LMAO at Karri's Attack of the Terrorist Carrots. :w00t: I was worried about eating them myself. I bought some baby carrots over the weekend to give me a healthy snack choice. I've only eaten 3 or 4 at a time when I've snacked in case they decided to unleash their wrath on me as well. I figured 4 would be the limit I was willing to go in case of emergency evacuation. I also carry a sick bag with me for emergencies. One of those little brown lunch baggies.

Girl - run to the store this very minute and spend the $59 on you for the Wii fit console - Now not tomorrow today - you can spend that on you - you deserve it.. Just like you deserve to be healthy and fit... !!!!

Maybe it was also the fact that you were walking at the same time? I haven't been able to walk and eat or walk and drink at the same time since being banded.

Well, the only time I have eaten and walked was at the fair a choc covered banana :0) - I could do it no problem :0)

Well back from lunch - 4 oz ck breast - salad - am full.. it was good 3 bottle of Water drank - :0)..

[salsa1877 10]

It probably was too fast. Because I am NOT too tight!!! I was SO hungry when I ate so I probably was eating faster than I thought at the time. I will be on liquids for the next 24-48 hours to let this settle. My stomach is SORE, but I haven't pb'd in about an hour. I am sooooo hungry though. I have only had 150 calories today. I am SLOWLY sipping on a fruit smoothie right now.

I will be laughing at this one for a while. Thank goodness it was a slow Thursday morning at Old Navy!

[IndioGirl55 32]

It probably was too fast. Because I am NOT too tight!!! I was SO hungry when I ate so I probably was eating faster than I thought at the time. I will be on liquids for the next 24-48 hours to let this settle. My stomach is SORE, but I haven't pb'd in about an hour. I am sooooo hungry though. I have only had 150 calories today. I am SLOWLY sipping on a fruit smoothie right now.

I will be laughing at this one for a while. Thank goodness it was a slow Thursday morning at Old Navy!

LOL Ya you were lucky it was early and slow - I have only done that in the privacy of my house - sitting on the pot then all of a sudden whatever wants to come back up - get tp - but it doesn't do crap for slime... I don't carry anything with me in the car - but I ususal alwasy have a towel from working out and one for the dogs when they are in the car.

[phyllser 3]

It probably was too fast. Because I am NOT too tight!!! I was SO hungry when I ate so I probably was eating faster than I thought at the time. I will be on liquids for the next 24-48 hours to let this settle. My stomach is SORE, but I haven't pb'd in about an hour. I am sooooo hungry though. I have only had 150 calories today. I am SLOWLY sipping on a fruit smoothie right now. I will be laughing at this one for a while. Thank goodness it was a slow Thursday morning at Old Navy!

Your story was toooo funny! Reminded me of my adventure when we were home in NY last summer. Went to the county fair and tried eating a part of a hamburger and an ear of corn. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to find garbage cans in obscure locations where people wouldn't see me barfing! I was miserable for quite a while. Only time I've had a PBing episode that went on for HOURS!

BTW.... DS is NOT flying his airplane up.. he decided he'd drive up with the rest of the family. He's been stressing over the fix he needs to do and decided he wasn't going to try to rush through it. He needs some time to think it through. A part that he just had to replace is now causing some electrical static and malfunction of some of his indicators. So he may have to build a new harness and insulate the wires so they stop causing interference... At least... that's how I understand it.. as explained by DIL.

Edited June 5, 2009 by phyllser

[cramerk 1]

Karri, you missed your true calling!!!! Your story was fabulous...I wish I could write...but alas I have a writing phobia. I have only had a serious PB, naturally it was in public, in the restraunt, and I can contest that there fingers can NEVER clench tight enough. Karri, seriously, you should consider taking science concepts and write them into comedic stories. You will be rich AND since I was the first to suggest it, NATURALLY I will gladly receive my portion of the royalties in check form. Please think about it.

Anyway, need to go find some solid food. Check in later.

Oh, chatted with Steph, she had a great time and is on her way home.

Also, good news from dad's oncologist, the cancer has shrunk to half the size and they are putting him into a cancer study for a medication and that is showing huge success.

[peaches9 3]

CALORIESCARBSFATPROTEIN1,378/128/53/47

[peaches9 3]

Your story was toooo funny! Reminded me of my adventure when we were home in NY last summer. Went to the county fair and tried eating a part of a hamburger and an ear of corn. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to find garbage cans in obscure locations where people wouldn't see me barfing! I was miserable for quite a while. Only time I've had a PBing episode that went on for HOURS!

BTW.... DS is NOT flying his airplane up.. he decided he'd drive up with the rest of the family. He's been stressing over the fix he needs to do and decided he wasn't going to try to rush through it. He needs some time to think it through. A part that he just had to replace is now causing some electrical static and malfunction of some of his indicators. So he may have to build a new harness and insulate the wires so they stop causing interference... At least... that's how I understand it.. as explained by DIL.

Thank God he changed his mind!!

[mango24 1]

Karri - Loved the story, and I will never feel guilty about not eating carrots again. I don't like them. Yuk!

I almost projectile vomited in a resturant for lunch yesterday. This is a big big fear for me. Resturants scare me!!!!!

Cals today 930, protien on 29

Didn't exercise today, took a very long nap, then went grocery shopping