Lucky # Sevens- July 07 Bandsters

[cramerk 1]

I know Janet, I shouldn't be eating this crap, my food has always been emotional eating. I need to go back to listing my food on dailyplate and walking. I need to walk. I will through in 20 more minutes for my ticket. I will deal with the home stuff. My kids will help, I shouldn't complain, no excuse. As I said, just a pity party. Probably the bigest stressor for my daughters graduation party is that their dad will be here. He enjoys rubbing my face in the fact that I am a loser. Also, he always is nagging my girls that they are over weight. Actually they are not, but he knows that it is another way to get to me. Which again is my fault, I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.

Steph, good luck at the doctors, make sure that you follow orders!!

Karri, here is positive thoughts that your fill goes well.

Chis, enjoy your vacation.

[peaches9 3]

Great job Karri!!!! You are our inspiration!!

Just got home from work at the nursery. Got the fish pond running and 4 Water features done. Loaded 4 yards of bark, moved 2 pallets of soil pep, dang I love big machinery. Only bummer was that it decided to down pour and hail. Came home soaked to the bone and cold. Just took a hot shower and am drinking a lovely cup of cafe vienna snuggled under blankets!!

food was good today. I hate how when I am doing school stuff I am always hungry, but when I am working outside I actually have to think about eating. Had oatmeal for Breakfast, tuna, avocado salad for lunch, Atkins 130 cal Protein Bar for snack and did splurge and had a small italian soda at work. During the month of May we give our customers free expresso or italian sodas as a thank you. I worked all the calories off, I never sat down except when running the loader, and was running from place to place or moving heavy stuff. AND it was a bonus day, so there will be a little extra in the ol' paycheck!!

Karri will be able to eat ANYTHING she wants for dinner!! I need to think about that, humm, run your butt off for 5 hours then you can have desert. I may have to consider that, NOT! What I need to do is get my lard a-- off the couch and walk. I need to quit thinking about school. Just realized I have only 3 more weekends to get the house and yard ready for Alexa's graduation party. Unfortunately i will be working every weekend. Somehow I need to find the time to finish stringing the wire for the fence that goes around my acre, rebuild the privacy fence that blew down this winter so that we don't have to watch the back neighbor sunbathe in the nude, put the trim up in the room that I put laminate in 1 1/2 yrs ago, plant all my pots, weed the yard, redress the bark areas (not small by any means), clean the fish pond and repot all the water plants, Shampoo carpets, spray Roundup on the driveway, mow the lawn, refence the dog yard, .... Sorry, just got carried away. Now I think I am really depressed. I just don't see how I will get it done. Normally I wouldn't care, but my siblings will be here and they all have perfect lives, with perfect spouses, and perfect way too much money. And I am always considered the 'loser' child, too fat, too many kids, too poor, too lazy, too many pets, too everything negative. I really wish they wouldn't bother to come. They will just drive up in the motor homes that cost more than my house with their Harley's and look down their noses at me.

I shouldn't post this, it is too negative. I guess I am having a pity party. this time of year always does that to me, I get too tired working 3 jobs. I dream of the day that I could sit on my deck drinking ice tea, working on a quilt. I have never done that. Once the housing market goes back up, I think I will sell my place and buy a small condo. I bought the place so the kids could have their dogs, lame I know.

Dang, I am really having a pity party. I would love to stop and smell my roses some day.

Hey Karla; You are human... We all have Pity Parties now and then..

Go back to the first part of your post... There are many positives there!!! Concentrate on those.

I can relate to the Sibling comparison Issues... Oh man, we all have siblings that push our buttons. Maybe their mobil home will get a flat and they'll cancel and not come????

I'll send my evil alter ego "DIANNA" to let the air out of their tires o.k./??

[peaches9 3]

Hello Everyone,

We went to a wedding in the boondocks last night. 3 hours away, so we stayed overnight. I danced for over 2 hrs straight, had a lot of fun. Friday night some friends from work came over and we played games. I laughed so much and so hard it hurt. Taboo is a fun game, I'm gonna get it.

Janet- My Mom is at the home, doing o.k, I guess, she still complains that her stomach hurts. I went Friday afternoon, and ALL her pants were missing. 4 pairs of pants, all clean and folded in her drawer. I AM FURIOUS!! I can not afford to buy her new clothes continually. They had her at bingo in a nightgown. So I brought more clothes Sat. morning before we left. I AM P.O.ed!!!! She wants those polyester muumuus, and I can't find them. Checked: Pennys, Dillards, Sears, Dollar Store.

Candice- In Sat.'s paper there was an article about pulling Hydroxycut off the market because it causes liver damage, some people have died. That has been on the market for years. My opinion, stay away from that diet crap. The new thing is that Chinese two day diet pill, people can't even read the damn label. It's in freakin Chinese, and they take it. Crazy!!!!!

If you really must take something I suggest:

Get Alli for when you have a non-diet meal. Say when you go out on the town, but remember you are gonna haveta wear a diaper for well you know what's gonna happen to the meal.

You are too funny! Alli!! I used that before , prior to banding.. Its aweful!! ANd ya know when I go out with Others is not when I have a problem eating... It's when I am "alone" going out on the town, I just eat 1/4 of the meal they bring.. I am full.. no problem. Its the JUNK that calls to me... still struggling with that.

I am sorry that things are dissappearing from your Mothers room. Clothes, ? can you beleive it!

GTR BBL

[kirajh 0]

Hello Ladies.......I'm back. Off the farm, finally. LOL

Ist - KARRI - Congratulations on your marathon. YOU ROCK!! I couldn't run to save my life. My grandkids? Well, maybe, but that's questionable.

KARLA - You're getting there. With all that you have to do, I wouldn't worry too much about food. You won't have time to eat. As for the ex, Look him in the eye and say (I hope I get this right) "Eat Rocks and Die"

(feel free to correct me if I got this wrong)

Candace - Yeah, I hear yuh. Junk food. It talks to me all the time. Loudly. When are you leaving for France? Have fun.

PHYL - Have the ruby slippers gotten scuffed up yet?? Or are you still glad to be home?

Janet - I can't believe you are farming two farms. Phyl too. God, one is more than enough for me. But I am hooked. DD told me today that she is too.

Steph - Take care of that back. Ya Hear???

Denise - Check out some of those catalogues for the polyester house dresses. Old Pueblo traders, Blair, Lane Bryant..........They all have some type of house dress.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Janet- She's not coming home, she lives in the nursing home. I can't take care of her anymore. She requires care. She could only stay with me as long as she was capable of taking care of herself. She requires insulin shots now, and she doesn't do anything for herself.

I forgot - Well I would still complain to someone !!!!

I know Janet, I shouldn't be eating this crap, my food has always been emotional eating. I need to go back to listing my food on dailyplate and walking. I need to walk. I will through in 20 more minutes for my ticket. I will deal with the home stuff. My kids will help, I shouldn't complain, no excuse. As I said, just a pity party. Probably the bigest stressor for my daughters graduation party is that their dad will be here. He enjoys rubbing my face in the fact that I am a loser. Also, he always is nagging my girls that they are over weight. Actually they are not, but he knows that it is another way to get to me. Which again is my fault, I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.

Steph, good luck at the doctors, make sure that you follow orders!!

Karri, here is positive thoughts that your fill goes well.

Chis, enjoy your vacation.

Karla - I am going to kick your butt - YOU ARE NOT A LOSER DON'T TALK THAT WAY ABOUT YOURSELF !!!!

Ok GF you need some serious intervention on your issues... If you talk that way to yourself - you are going to thnk that way and be that!!! Let it go - come on now you are a grown woman - you work hard, you are a single mom, Why in the F are you a loser to your xdh - hell he's the fricking loser for letting you go... Come on now..

There is no reason to be ashamed of not having shit loads of money - You are a teacher - you work at the nursery - do you have a gambling or drug habit that we don't know about or maybe even shopping - Where's your DH with the check for the kids..

You gotta work on no letting other pples crap bug you - think to yourself who owns the problem them or me - if its them then let it go - you can't do anything about that - the only person you can control is you and how you react to crap...

Yes each day when you post here - before you post go log in your food - that's an order - ok... I can't stress enough on this issue how important it is - just cuz you aren't logging doesn't mean they don't count (calories)

Aren't you the least bit competitive ??? If I were you I would show these pple whom you feel inferior to - that you can do this - that you had major surgery and that you can control what you do with it - you just have to prove to yourself that you can do this for you!!!!

I have issues with what's left of my family but it's sure not being inferior - I have never felt inferior to my bros & sis - I guess for me even fat I had a big ego and alot of self confidence. Gotta say I have a little more now - it's cuz I am not ashamed of my weight anymore and am very proud of what I have done to get it off..

Ok on the party - each day assign a task to each of the kids and yourself - it will get done - do the stuff that needs done the most and is most visable to visitors - and don't worry about the stuff they can't see and if it doesn't get all done so what - it's about celbrating your daughters graduation..

Hello Ladies.......I'm back. Off the farm, finally. LOL

Ist - KARRI - Congratulations on your marathon. YOU ROCK!! I couldn't run to save my life. My grandkids? Well, maybe, but that's questionable.

KARLA - You're getting there. With all that you have to do, I wouldn't worry too much about food. You won't have time to eat. As for the ex, Look him in the eye and say (I hope I get this right) "Eat Rocks and Die"

(feel free to correct me if I got this wrong)

Candace - Yeah, I hear yuh. Junk food. It talks to me all the time. Loudly. When are you leaving for France? Have fun.

PHYL - Have the ruby slippers gotten scuffed up yet?? Or are you still glad to be home?

Janet - I can't believe you are farming two farms. Phyl too. God, one is more than enough for me. But I am hooked. DD told me today that she is too.

Steph - Take care of that back. Ya Hear???

Denise - Check out some of those catalogues for the polyester house dresses. Old Pueblo traders, Blair, Lane Bryant..........They all have some type of house dress.

Yep Kari - farming 2 farms - 2 pathwords, 2 parking wars and 2 possum and lbt 2 thread and sometimes the 50 thread...

Can we all say transfer addiction - better than eating :0)

[cramerk 1]

Thanks Janet & Kari, for kicking my butt and understanding. I have always had self-esteem issues. It goes way back to things that happened when I was a kid. An example: My mother felt the need to tell me when I was 13 that if abortion would have been the 'thing' I wouldn't be here. Last year she told me that I would be better off dead. That being said, you are right, this is their problem and I need to let it go. I will never please my mother and the other stuff that happened when growing up I can't change, so live with it and move on.

I did go on dailyplate and logged my food. I looked over my old 'plates' and realized that I wasn't being proactive. I will always be a snacker when I am stressed, so I need to make sure that I always have healthy low cal Snacks. I haven't had SF Jello in the house for a while, so I went and bought them and SF pudding. Bought some SF coffee flavorings and FF 1/2 & 1/2. I want to know how it can be 1/2 & 1/2 when it is FF. This should help me reduce my calories.

I did walk for an hour, don't know how far, but it was at my usual pace, so it should be about 3 mi.

Have to grade a heap of papers, midterms are on Thursday and I am WAY behind.

Steph, fill us in on your doctor appointment.

I changed my fill appointment to Tuesday next week so Elyse can go with me in case things go sideways.

[phyllser 3]

Kari and all,

Still having mixed feelings about being back home. Yes, the girls and their families are here and that's nice. We got to see our three youngest grandchildren over the weekend.. and we'll be together with those two families for Mothers' Day, which will be a treat. Things weren't great with oldest DD last year and we didn't see her at all.

BUT, the weather sucks... "November" type ("UNUSUAL") storm coming in tonight with strong winds and rain has already started. Let's see... last year we came home on April 15th and it snowed 5 days later. So we came home a little later this year... six days ago. And now we're having an "unusual, November type" storm, per the weatherman on TV. Heat is on and I hate that. DH just put on a sweatshirt... which I NEVER see him wear!

And,I guess it's the weather that has aggravated my left knee... can barely put weight on it the past three days. Seeing the ortho surgeon on Thursday. No exercise... don't dare even try the Wii right now. So I went over to Target before the rain started and got some 2lb wrist weights. Not much in the way of exercise, but something!

TOPS this morning and I gained a couple of pounds on the road, not to mention can't get weighed in my swim suit now!! :tt2::thumbup::ack2: Had to wear real clothes... add another 2 lb! But, they DID make me feel good because so many were downright excited to see us back. One lady who emails me a lot while we're gone.. gave me a BIG hug and I thought she was going to cry!

But, ya see, my friends.... I'm not in a good mood.

Got to get back on track. Got to get back on my feet. Got to figure out how to get some exercise. Not much incentive to go find a pool when I'm friggin' freezin'! I miss my hot mineral Water pools/spa!! I know, it's HOT down there, right Janet??! But I think I'd rather be hot than cold!

Where ARE my ruby slippers???

[salsa1877 10]

I am back and exhausted, sore, and plain worn out. The fill went great. It was a new fill nurse who really listened about what I needed and wanted. I told her to be VERY conservative because I would rather have to come back over to get a little more later, than have to come back in an emergency to get an unfill. So they filled my tube to the band and then added .1 cc.

I have marathon letter that I formulated along the 26 miles that I ran that I will post on Facebook and here tomorrow. I still need to actually get it written down but it will be posted tomorrow.

Gotta go to bed...have to work tomorrow.

[Twilight 2]

good morning ladies!!! How are my friends? Yesterday was a crazy day...as was the day before, so i didn't have time to post.

My doc appt. went fine. He couldn't give me any definite answers about my other discs. He says he's seen backs in a lot worse shape than mine that didn't have any symptoms and backs in a lot better shape than mine that needed serious help. He says what they look like doesn't automatically tell him what they need. It's a matter of symptoms and since my symptoms are manageable, there is nothing to be done. Now...before you take that to mean I hurt....I do, but not seriously. I've hurt like this for the last 15 years. It's normal aches and pains and he gave me suggestions on what I can do to hopefully improve that. I can begin almost any other exercise program as tolerated (he cautioned me that didn't mean do it until I couldn't do it anymore and then stop :thumbdown: ) but no side to side stuff....no raking the yard or serious yoga moves. He suggested that I might want to get some physical therapy at home to let an expert begin to strengthen my core muscles back up before I damage something trying to do it on my own. Stretching, walking, biking, running, are all acceptable as long as they don't hurt. Suggested I don't go buy a kayak and start rowing for another month

Michael's first day of homeschool went about as well as can be expected. He was mad, but I didn't lose my temper. I asked him to rate his feeling on a scale of 1-10 on a variety of things before this started and at the end of yesterday and we had made some improvements. He liked some things, hated others. Had to do one assignment 3 times.....but all in all, a productive day.

I didn't get out and walk yesterday, however....we were "in class" all day that we weren't traveling. Oh well....I'll get out there today. yesterday was supposed to be a rest day anyways.

I ate fairly well yesterday. A sausage burrito from McD's yesterday morning, a veggie burger for lunch (1/2 of one) and then the meat out of Michael's hamburger helper last night. liquid, not so good. Right now I'm eating my kashi and yogurt. water bottle is already filled and waiting to begin after my morning coffee.< /p>

Okay...I've gotta get a few more online things done. i'll talk to you later ladies. There are comments I want to make to each of you, but I'll wait until Michael is working on his science paper to do those.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Thanks Janet & Kari, for kicking my butt and understanding. I have always had self-esteem issues. It goes way back to things that happened when I was a kid. An example: My mother felt the need to tell me when I was 13 that if abortion would have been the 'thing' I wouldn't be here. Last year she told me that I would be better off dead. That being said, you are right, this is their problem and I need to let it go. I will never please my mother and the other stuff that happened when growing up I can't change, so live with it and move on.

I did go on dailyplate and logged my food. I looked over my old 'plates' and realized that I wasn't being proactive. I will always be a snacker when I am stressed, so I need to make sure that I always have healthy low cal Snacks. I haven't had SF Jello in the house for a while, so I went and bought them and SF pudding. Bought some SF coffee flavorings and FF 1/2 & 1/2. I want to know how it can be 1/2 & 1/2 when it is FF. This should help me reduce my calories.

I did walk for an hour, don't know how far, but it was at my usual pace, so it should be about 3 mi.

Have to grade a heap of papers, midterms are on Thursday and I am WAY behind.

Steph, fill us in on your doctor appointment.

I changed my fill appointment to Tuesday next week so Elyse can go with me in case things go sideways.

Karla - Hugs on the Mom issues - I gotta say though - if this has been a lifetime habit of your family to treat you like shit then I would not be around them. Why set yourself up for that kind of abuse - ya they are your family but if they treat you like shit then they aren't much of one - My suggestion is to not have any contact with them what so ever. If it was an abusive DH or BF - would you stick around - I doubt it.. So why stick around negative pple period even if they are family.

I'm an orphan now - My Mom died when I was 15 (suicide) and my Dad & Stepmom died 17 yrs ago - My Mom's mom - was great to me but so negative - she would cry about my GP miss treating her - when he'd been dead for 35 yrs - come on now - I would tell her if he was such a bad man then you should be happy he's dead - why are you crying about it now...

Gf Stand up for yourself - I know that after years of this kind of abuse it will be hard - but if I were you I would tell your Mom to go jump in a lake - I would say if you feel that way about me (wish you weren't born or dead) then I will be out of your life along with my kids - I am a grown women and you nor anyone else is going to talk to me in this manner. If an when you want a relationship with me then we can talk - but I am no longer your whipping board.

I think that if you take yourself out of these sitituations you will start feeling better about you...

I too am a muncher at nite - so budget your calories to compensate for this. Make sure the kitchen is stocked with healthy foods - but again becareful not to over do as even healthy food is fattening when you eat too much of it..

We all have out pity parties - but we have to put a limit to them - have it for one day then - pull up those bootstraps and move forward - we can't change the past - its done over with gone - all we can do is go forward and do our best to make the changes needed to improve our lives..

Kari and all,

Still having mixed feelings about being back home. Yes, the girls and their families are here and that's nice. We got to see our three youngest grandchildren over the weekend.. and we'll be together with those two families for Mothers' Day, which will be a treat. Things weren't great with oldest DD last year and we didn't see her at all.

BUT, the weather sucks... "November" type ("UNUSUAL") storm coming in tonight with strong winds and rain has already started. Let's see... last year we came home on April 15th and it snowed 5 days later. So we came home a little later this year... six days ago. And now we're having an "unusual, November type" storm, per the weatherman on TV. Heat is on and I hate that. DH just put on a sweatshirt... which I NEVER see him wear!

And,I guess it's the weather that has aggravated my left knee... can barely put weight on it the past three days. Seeing the ortho surgeon on Thursday. No exercise... don't dare even try the Wii right now. So I went over to Target before the rain started and got some 2lb wrist weights. Not much in the way of exercise, but something!

TOPS this morning and I gained a couple of pounds on the road, not to mention can't get weighed in my swim suit now!!

:thumbdown::thumbup: Had to wear real clothes... add another 2 lb! But, they DID make me feel good because so many were downright excited to see us back. One lady who emails me a lot while we're gone.. gave me a BIG hug and I thought she was going to cry!

But, ya see, my friends.... I'm not in a good mood.

Got to get back on track. Got to get back on my feet. Got to figure out how to get some exercise. Not much incentive to go find a pool when I'm friggin' freezin'! I miss my hot mineral Water pools/spa!! I know, it's HOT down there, right Janet??! But I think I'd rather be hot than cold!

Where ARE my ruby slippers???

Phyl - I was watching the weather channel last night and say that both you and Karri are getting rain... Well ya it's warmed up here - but we have had tons of wind - which you know how much I dislike it.. and looks like it's going to be here for a while...

Hugs on the coldness - and I bet it's not helping that knee problem one bit - Glad you are going to the ortho - keep us posted on that..

Sounds like you are going to have a wonderful Mother's Day with your family.. Can you do a bike - I know pple say it's easy on the knees (omg I am having a moment of dejuve - I feel I have typed this before :0) I know that they have some chair exercises out there - google it and see what you come up with - moving is key they say that pple who figgit lose more weight - so tap your toes move those arms - it should help some..

And on that lady huging you and wanting to cry - Well GF you are that kind of friend - You make pple feel special and loved and we all need pple like you in our lives..

I am back and exhausted, sore, and plain worn out. The fill went great. It was a new fill nurse who really listened about what I needed and wanted. I told her to be VERY conservative because I would rather have to come back over to get a little more later, than have to come back in an emergency to get an unfill. So they filled my tube to the band and then added .1 cc.

I have marathon letter that I formulated along the 26 miles that I ran that I will post on Facebook and here tomorrow. I still need to actually get it written down but it will be posted tomorrow.

Gotta go to bed...have to work tomorrow.

Karri

Glad you made it home safe and your fill went well.. I bet you are exhausted but elated at the same time.. I ck'd fb last night to see how you were doing as -I had a problem with LBT as a breaker had flipped and when I went outside to flip back I forgot my computer was on - then forgot my password got locked out had to reset which took like 30 minutes so that's why I didn't post here last night

Ok I gotta get to work girls - I will CBL

Karla - remember you are no bodys door mat any longer ok...

That's your new mantra !!!

[salsa1877 10]

Thanks Janet & Kari, for kicking my butt and understanding. I have always had self-esteem issues. It goes way back to things that happened when I was a kid. An example: My mother felt the need to tell me when I was 13 that if abortion would have been the 'thing' I wouldn't be here. Last year she told me that I would be better off dead. That being said, you are right, this is their problem and I need to let it go. I will never please my mother and the other stuff that happened when growing up I can't change, so live with it and move on.

you are talking to the queen of mother issues. I will share a bit just so that you know that you are not alone. My mom was crazy (spent time in a mental facility) and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She was extremely abusive, both mentally and physically. She denied my brother food and once didn't feed me for 7 days because I got a C in middle school. I coped through food. Thankfully she is dead. I know that seems harsh, but she destroyed my life and set me up for a world of failure...but guess what...she isn't winning anymore. I have won...and I will continue to win each and everyday that I am alive and moving forward.

I have to say that I am a bit more sappy and sentimental than usual, but I think you need to hear that people can recover from extreme situations. There is no one more important in the world to you THAN YOU. That is right...you are not less important than your mom or your kids. If you don't care about yourself or put yourself first you can't be the best to anyone. We often think that we are much better people if we put others first...but if you neglect yourself, everyone else will suffer. It took a couple of years after my mom died for me to realize this. That is when I took control and had surgery. For the first time, I realized that I was nothing to anyone if I wasn't everything to myself. God knows that is the hardest transition you will ever make. There are still days when I forget it and those are the dark days that I have. But they are fewer and fewer. You CANNOT allow anyone to stomp on you. They are not worth it. I don't care if it is a mother, or sibling, or child. If they do not treat you with the respect and love that you deserve then they should not be in your life. After all...your family to you is just another person to me. They are no more important than anyone else. I am lucky that I got to pick the best "mommy" in the world. Janet has been more supportive and more of a mom to me than my mom ever was. Even though we have never met face to face, or even spoken on the phone, she is more of a mom to me than any other person could ever be. Just because a person gives birth to you or passes on DNA doesn't mean that they are meant to be loved. I know it sounds harsh but after living through all the shit that my mom put me through...that is just how I feel.

So now... you have to look at what happened to you in the past and realize that you made mistakes, you allowed people to treat you improperly and that you allowed yourself to mistreat you. You need to acknowledge that, forgive yourself, and move forward. You can change NOTHING about your past, but your future is a blank slate that you get to paint. Do not let dreams just be dreams. I dreamed for so long before I realized that dreams are meant for sleep and life is meant to be lived and conquered. 2 years ago a marathon was something SOMEONE ELSE did...not me. I was the smart one. My biological mom told me that I better find something where I could use my brain cause I was pretty enough to use my looks and I was too fat to do manual labor. So I believed it. It wasn't until I realized that listening to others just limited me. There is absolutely nothing that I can't do now (unless it is physically impossible). Could I run a run a marathon in under 4 hours? Yep...if I put in the training time, ate right and quit my job to focus only on running. I am choosing to NOT do that. Not because I can't but because I don't want to. That is fine if you say "I don't want to run a marathon" but to say I CAN'T do a marathon...I don't believe it. That is not a goal everyone should have...but what I want you to see is that you CAN do whatever you want. Don't let others put up roadblocks. Whenever people treat me questionably anymore I ask myself "would I ever treat anyone like that". If I answer no then I try to do something about it. I don't always succeed, but at least I am now aware that I don't need to take it.

Okay I rambled a lot here, but I just want you to know that we are now your family. Realize this is the beginning of YOUR life. The one thing I hope you take from this is that you can't change your past, you can't change your family, but you can me the rest of your life as amazing as you want it. This is YOUR life, no one elses.

Big hugs!

[Twilight 2]

Karla, I'm calling tonight. You need a good old fashioned chat. You can get it all out and then feel better.

I agree with Janet. You are worthy. You are an amazing woman. What do you do???? You teach. you influence the minds and values of the upcoming generation. You build character every day. You give your heart and soul to your students. What does you family do? Doesn't sound like much. Who has more value???? Money can buy things, but your influence will go on forever. No amount of money can buy what you do. No amount of self love can equal the hero worship you engender in the coming generations. Tell them to go suck rocks and DIE!!! My dad told me I was found under a rock...my mom found me and asked if they could keep me....he said no, but they couldn't find the rock I crawled out from under so they had no choice. Janet's family....need to get flushed....Karri's mom....flush....so let's flush yours too. think of that movie...flushed away or whatever it was. Think of them down in that sewer....the floating turds that talked (yeah, they were slugs but they looked like turds). Everytime they say something unkind just think, "But I'm not a turd with eyes."

Hugs my friend. I'll call tonight.

[NDPrairieLover 0]

I am returning to this site after a very long absence. Two years to be exact, but I need to find some support and find out if anyone else is having the same issues I seem to be having. First of all, let me say, I have lost weight since my lapband (70 pounds to be exact), but unfortunately I have not reached my goal and have gained back 8 lbs. I am struggling with medications that are continually causing hunger issues. I am now officially in menopause, so doctor started birth control pills, and I take Paxil which also has increased my appetite. I have tried not to take either, but the non-treated symptoms are worse. I am constantly craving food eventhough I am full and I am afraid I have stretched my pouch. I am starting the 5-day pouch diet that was recommended on another thread, but I am feeling out of control and I so want to get back to feeling in control of this hunger thing. I noticed the minute the hunger started again, right after the increase in the Paxil for stress, and the birth control. Any way, just needed to vent and I am not looking for anything else but others' experiences in these past two years and how are you working through the tough times.

NDPrairieLover

[peaches9 3]

you are talking to the queen of mother issues. I will share a bit just so that you know that you are not alone. My mom was crazy (spent time in a mental facility) and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She was extremely abusive, both mentally and physically. She denied my brother food and once didn't feed me for 7 days because I got a C in middle school. I coped through food. Thankfully she is dead. I know that seems harsh, but she destroyed my life and set me up for a world of failure...but guess what...she isn't winning anymore. I have won...and I will continue to win each and everyday that I am alive and moving forward.

I have to say that I am a bit more sappy and sentimental than usual, but I think you need to hear that people can recover from extreme situations. There is no one more important in the world to you THAN YOU. That is right...you are not less important than your mom or your kids. If you don't care about yourself or put yourself first you can't be the best to anyone. We often think that we are much better people if we put others first...but if you neglect yourself, everyone else will suffer. It took a couple of years after my mom died for me to realize this. That is when I took control and had surgery. For the first time, I realized that I was nothing to anyone if I wasn't everything to myself. God knows that is the hardest transition you will ever make. There are still days when I forget it and those are the dark days that I have. But they are fewer and fewer. You CANNOT allow anyone to stomp on you. They are not worth it. I don't care if it is a mother, or sibling, or child. If they do not treat you with the respect and love that you deserve then they should not be in your life. After all...your family to you is just another person to me. They are no more important than anyone else. I am lucky that I got to pick the best "mommy" in the world. Janet has been more supportive and more of a mom to me than my mom ever was. Even though we have never met face to face, or even spoken on the phone, she is more of a mom to me than any other person could ever be. Just because a person gives birth to you or passes on DNA doesn't mean that they are meant to be loved. I know it sounds harsh but after living through all the shit that my mom put me through...that is just how I feel.

So now... you have to look at what happened to you in the past and realize that you made mistakes, you allowed people to treat you improperly and that you allowed yourself to mistreat you. You need to acknowledge that, forgive yourself, and move forward. You can change NOTHING about your past, but your future is a blank slate that you get to paint. Do not let dreams just be dreams. I dreamed for so long before I realized that dreams are meant for sleep and life is meant to be lived and conquered. 2 years ago a marathon was something SOMEONE ELSE did...not me. I was the smart one. My biological mom told me that I better find something where I could use my brain cause I was pretty enough to use my looks and I was too fat to do manual labor. So I believed it. It wasn't until I realized that listening to others just limited me. There is absolutely nothing that I can't do now (unless it is physically impossible). Could I run a run a marathon in under 4 hours? Yep...if I put in the training time, ate right and quit my job to focus only on running. I am choosing to NOT do that. Not because I can't but because I don't want to. That is fine if you say "I don't want to run a marathon" but to say I CAN'T do a marathon...I don't believe it. That is not a goal everyone should have...but what I want you to see is that you CAN do whatever you want. Don't let others put up roadblocks. Whenever people treat me questionably anymore I ask myself "would I ever treat anyone like that". If I answer no then I try to do something about it. I don't always succeed, but at least I am now aware that I don't need to take it.

Okay I rambled a lot here, but I just want you to know that we are now your family. Realize this is the beginning of YOUR life. The one thing I hope you take from this is that you can't change your past, you can't change your family, but you can me the rest of your life as amazing as you want it. This is YOUR life, no one elses.

Big hugs!

Karri; I am still crying as I read this post... What you said to Karla was BEAUTIFUL...

My Mom is still alive, but like yours there were things said that "hit me like a bolt between the eyes"... I am not sure if she meant what she often said or if it was just 'thoughtlessness'.. I don't think I'll ever know for sure. All I know is that I had to 'forgive her' for all these past hurts.. because otherwise I'd not be able to look after her now.

Karla: You are worth it, I am worth it... we are ALL worth it.. :thumbup:

[Twilight 2]

I am returning to this site after a very long absence. Two years to be exact, but I need to find some support and find out if anyone else is having the same issues I seem to be having. First of all, let me say, I have lost weight since my lapband (70 pounds to be exact), but unfortunately I have not reached my goal and have gained back 8 lbs. I am struggling with medications that are continually causing hunger issues. I am now officially in menopause, so doctor started birth control pills, and I take Paxil which also has increased my appetite. I have tried not to take either, but the non-treated symptoms are worse. I am constantly craving food eventhough I am full and I am afraid I have stretched my pouch. I am starting the 5-day pouch diet that was recommended on another thread, but I am feeling out of control and I so want to get back to feeling in control of this hunger thing. I noticed the minute the hunger started again, right after the increase in the Paxil for stress, and the birth control. Any way, just needed to vent and I am not looking for anything else but others' experiences in these past two years and how are you working through the tough times.

NDPrairieLover

glad you came back to the best place on LBT (IMHO!!) Get ready for some amazing support. Those here are the best group of ladies I think anyone could hope for.

BTW, I was banded in Bismarck 5 months to the day after you were. I had lost 75 pounds....have gained back...but am still fighting the fight. We are not going to be able to call it a knockout ever, I don't believe....but we will be able to call it victory at some point.

Karri had some issues with certain meds that she just couldn't take. I take zoloft for depression but nothing for stress. The zoloft didn't have any hunger issues. Thank the good lord that I have not had to deal with the change yet...even though good ole TOM kicks my @$$ every month. Stress is a killer for me. It truly can't be beaten.

Welcome home and I hope we can help you!