The second guessing is killing me

[bebop09 12]

Well my friends, "D" day is approaching. I need to make the decision to go for it, or walk away and say no thanks. All my requirements have been met, all that is left is insurance approval and picking a surgery date...and of course, saying YES with enthusiasm. I am feeling more settled that this is the right decision for me, but frankly, the second guessing is still alive and well in my head. I am afraid that because I'm not chomping at the bit and counting the minutes until surgery, then maybe I'm not ready, or maybe this ISN"T the right decision. I'm not sure I will ever be jumping for joy even though I am recognizing those of you that have walked this road before me can't ALL be wrong! I've made the mistake of telling a couple people and either I get 1000% support, or the same old "lack of willpower" judgement cloaked around diet and exercise advice...like somehow THEIR "tips" will be the turning point for me. I'm not looking for approval, but when I am met with the negative response, it kicks off the second guessing in my own head. Have I REALLY exhausted all the other avenues? Have I REALLY tried as hard as I can? A better question to myself is WILL I-surgery or not. So let me ask, was your decision 100% black and white or did you still have doubts about surgery and life afterward?

[bobbyswife 862]

Mine was straight up black and white. I don't just want this surgery. I HAVE TO HAVE this surgery. My body is failing me by the minute and this weight HAS TO come off. It's not like I have a tumor though, there isn't a doctor saying "Do this or die", but the reality is, I will die if I don't do this. Either figuratively or physically. Granted, I had a case of the worries and dreads for a brief period of time, but I'm totally over it. I'm so ready for this. But, it's a very personal choice. If you doubt your ability to even stick to a program post surgery, you probably are not ready. Your mind and heart have to be sold on this 100%.

[Kindle 8,667]

Have I REALLY exhausted all the other avenues? Have I REALLY tried as hard as I can? A better question to myself is WILL I-surgery or not. So let me ask, was your decision 100% black and white or did you still have doubts about surgery and life afterward?

Only you can answer these questions for yourself. For me I knew, YES, I had exhausted all other avenues. Dieting and failing for 30 years was proof enough for me. And YES, I had tried as hard as I could. Up until the last couple of years that is. My younger brother had died unexpectedly and I didn't care about anyone or anything (especially myself) for over a year. I was miserable and I didn't WANT to feel better. But once I started to heal emotionally, I decided I also wanted to heal physically, too. That's when I started looking into WLS. Of course there were other factors, but that was probably the biggest "straw".

And of course I had questions about how I would deal with life afterwards, the future is always a big unknown. but I knew I couldn't go on the way I was. It's normal to have doubts when faced with any major decision or change, but that's life. Life is hard. I would say you will do better if you are totally committed. Maybe this isn't the right time for you. But maybe it is. You just need to sort it out in your head. Are there any support groups or bariatric counseling services in your area? Someone who could be a mentor! It may help to talk about your doubts and fears with others that have been there done that.

[Elode 8,093]

@@bebop09 What was your reasons for starting the process and coming this far? Something made you take the first steps. Maybe you could write out a list of the pros and cons and think about what's really important to you. For me it wasn't completely black and white I knew I was going to do it but up until they wheeled me out to the OR I think I told my husband a good 5 times "you know we could leave and they would Understand" but of course I didn't and I'm so thankful I went through with it because I know it was the best decision for me and my life. It's scary because you Don't know what to expect and no one can really tell you exactly how you will be afterwards. Everyone's journey is different. It's not an easy decision to make. I wish you all the best

[Quest4TheNewMe 225]

I'm in a similar position, except my surgery is tomorrow. Ugh!!!

I'm not at all worried about the post-op diet, I know I can do that. It's the risk of complications that has me so nervous... I have two small kids at home.

[bebop09 12]

Thanks everyone. I AM looking forward to a new beginning. I too have spent a year (or more) working through multiple losses I have recently experienced, and most of that time I didn't give two hoots about counting calories or paying much attention to what I was putting in my mouth. I feel like I am ready to finally BEGIN my life anew, and this is a powerful tool to help me get where I want to go. My body is slowly falling apart and its apparent I can not continue the road I am currently walking. I think what put me over the edge was my pro/con list. The pros were two pages long and the cons were just 3 bullet points. That's when I realized the decision was clear...but I guess I just need to beat myself up just a little more about it-how crazy is that?? Posting my thoughts here is so beneficial-sometimes it takes another perspective to make me get out of my own head.

[bebop09 12]

P.S. Good Luck tomorrow Quest!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Well my friends, "D" day is approaching. I need to make the decision to go for it, or walk away and say no thanks. All my requirements have been met, all that is left is insurance approval and picking a surgery date...and of course, saying YES with enthusiasm. I am feeling more settled that this is the right decision for me, but frankly, the second guessing is still alive and well in my head. I am afraid that because I'm not chomping at the bit and counting the minutes until surgery, then maybe I'm not ready, or maybe this ISN"T the right decision. I'm not sure I will ever be jumping for joy even though I am recognizing those of you that have walked this road before me can't ALL be wrong! I've made the mistake of telling a couple people and either I get 1000% support, or the same old "lack of willpower" judgement cloaked around diet and exercise advice...like somehow THEIR "tips" will be the turning point for me. I'm not looking for approval, but when I am met with the negative response, it kicks off the second guessing in my own head. Have I REALLY exhausted all the other avenues? Have I REALLY tried as hard as I can? A better question to myself is WILL I-surgery or not. So let me ask, was your decision 100% black and white or did you still have doubts about surgery and life afterward?

Before I started the process with the doctor I did my research. Attending the seminar prior to meeting the surgeon answered my few remaining questions. I can't say I was jumping at the bit or overly excited. I just knew I was making the right choice for me. I guess the best way to describe it was that I was at peace. This is life changing. Unless you are 100% sure this is what you want to do, I don't think you should go through with it. Pre-surgical jitters are one thing, questioning whether you want to do this may be an indication to slow down and reconsider. You want to be in the most optimal head space you can be in when you embark on this journey.