HELP, what is wrong with me?

[Jacqbult 112]

I have thought about WLS for several years now and I am all approved and my date is in 2 weeks. I am now getting ready to back out. I have gotten myself so afraid of the "what if" I have complications etc and die.

I am so close with my kids 9&10 and am the only stable thing in their lives and I want to be a more active Mom and be around for them for a long time and being #120 over weight is not going to help that. I feel I am being vain but in all honesty you guys, I don't think I have the willpower to lose this on my own. After trying so many times and failing I am tired of trying 1 more diet.

Has anyone else been where I am? Please tell me how you coped? I don't want to back out but I am afraid.....what a goofball I am

[midwestgirl32 22]

Nothing is wrong with you hon. Promise. This is a big decision. It's major surgery and its something that you are deciding to do. Nothing wrong with questioning it and being scared.

I was TERRIFIED. even up to the moment when they had the IV in (but not in the OR yet) I thought about asking to leave. I'm exactly one week post op. I'm not saying it's been the best week ever, but it's been totally fine. A few days of discomfort for a lifetime of healthiness? Yes please.

As people told me, if you weren't scared, I would be worried about THAT. you'll do great!!

[haleytrim 244]

Midwestgirl said it all very well. You wouldn't be the great mom that you are if you weren't thinking about your kids at a time like this. Prayers going up that God will keep his hand on you and your surgeon and you will come through fine and be the best mom you can be. Hugs.

[BitterSweet* 835]

Instead of the "what if" I die questions, change it around and ask yourself "what if I don't change?" If your health fails and your children have to become your care provider, then what? If you don't change where will you be in 10 years? Will your health improve or fail without this surgery?Will you be healthy and full of life, ready to squeeze and kiss on your grandchildren 15-20 yrs from now? Ask yourself those questions instead.

What you're feeling is normal, but you must recognize that and then focus on what led you to this choice. I made myself a small vision board to help me remember why I have chosen this. You can do this!

[shellyd88 463]

@@Jacqbult hi I'm still pre op myself and I can say I've wanted to quit so many times I know I can't I'm in so much pain all the time from being so heavy it's hard to do anything it's all I can do to get thru the day at work then I'm home in agony for hours literally crying at times from the pain I simply can't lose enough without help I was never lucky enough to have children I wish I had it's my biggest regret in life besides letting myself get this way but if I had kids I'd want to be around for them to be able to participate with them in things to be able to keep up to not be maybe so sick from diabetes or worse that they lose their parent if we didn't have second third or more thoughts of backing out I don't think we would be normal I hope u keep the hope of what the future can be in front of u the positive things and let the negative ones stay behind best of luck

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

A goof ball..NOT! Everyone goes through this except maybe me that I have read on here. I was excited and could not wait until they wheeled me into the operating room. It was soon done and over.

I think it is normal to be afraid of the 'what ifs' If you don't make an educated decision then you are not ready. I know looking back I was not.

Make sure you do know the what ifs and that you can deal with the worst of them. If you can..You are ready to change your life. Your reasons are sound. And you will continue to flounder from one diet to the next for the rest of your life....that is just as hard on your body as WLS.

I know after losing my weight I am a changed woman. I love doing a lot more things and being a grand mother has made my life way more active. Your doing it for your kids. Amazing love shown for them......

[BigGirlPanties 957]

I was like @RJ'S/beginning totally ready for the change in my life... I was more excited than scared.

But we all approach things differently, and that's cool...

pretty much the same as above...I couldn't MOVE, seriously, to walk to the bathroom, I had to use a walker...now 125 pounds down I can FUNCTION like a human being again :)

Good luck...you've got this!

[downsizingdiva 459]

I'm with ya. My biggest fear is dying because of my kids too. I have cried at the thought. But I am literally scared absolutely out of my mind about dying. All I know to do is pray for my fear to subside and for everything to go well. - I just wanted to add that I am not a worryer and I feel like this is very unlike me. But I still count the days and can't wait!

Edited November 11, 2014 by downsizingdiva

[devinsmom 2]

I've had the same fear. It made me back out of the process once. This time I'm following through. I believe surgery will make me so much healthier for my son. It doesn't stop the worry but I believe all will be fine....

[Maggie Diaz Saldivar 2]

I think we have all been in the same boat at one time. I am currently at that position. Reading all of the great comments encourages me tremendously to get this done. Im with you Jacqbult. LETS DO THIS!!!!!

[laurenella82 625]

About 5 years ago my PCP gave me a referral to see a surgeon and a nutritionist to start the process for gastric bypass. I was so afraid and focused hard on all the what if's that I backed out in the middle of my nutrition appointment. I don't regret making the decision not to have GB then because I feel like now I'm really ready to have the surgery (and because VSG is less scary than GB). But my "why" now is my 3 year old son and my 4 year old nice and the new niece or nephew coming in June. I want to continue to be around to watch them grow up and, God willing, to watch them make their own families.

While we should make this decision FIRST for ourselves, our families make a he impact on the choice we make. Going through a rough patch trying to change for the better is better than dying early from something you could have prevented.

God bless!

[Rogofulm 2,440]

It's normal! Most of our last thoughts before the anesthesia kicked in were, "I can still back out of th.....zzzzzz."

[Jacqbult 112]

Thank you all so much!

I am not like this in my 'Normal" life. I am the" look at the bright side" kinda girl, but, not the kind you want to slap. I am easy going, calm under pressure...take a breath, relax type. Apparently, by the glazed look in my eyes, my visions of people throwing themselves on my casket wailing WHY... WHY...all this over a fat thighs,' a Buddha Belly and Chaffing! I have lost my easy going attitude. LOL.

Just going to try and suck it up, I can always walk out (prior to anesthesia, of course)

[bellabill 253]

@@Jacqbult hi I'm still pre op myself and I can say I've wanted to quit so many times I know I can't I'm in so much pain all the time from being so heavy it's hard to do anything it's all I can do to get thru the day at work then I'm home in agony for hours literally crying at times from the pain I simply can't lose enough without help I was never lucky enough to have children I wish I had it's my biggest regret in life besides letting myself get this way but if I had kids I'd want to be around for them to be able to participate with them in things to be able to keep up to not be maybe so sick from diabetes or worse that they lose their parent if we didn't have second third or more thoughts of backing out I don't think we would be normal I hope u keep the hope of what the future can be in front of u the positive things and let the negative ones stay behind best of luck

Thank you all so much!

I am not like this in my 'Normal" life. I am the" look at the bright side" kinda girl, but, not the kind you want to slap. I am easy going, calm under pressure...take a breath, relax type. Apparently, by the glazed look in my eyes, my visions of people throwing themselves on my casket wailing WHY... WHY...all this over a fat thighs,' a Buddha Belly and Chaffing! I have lost my easy going attitude. LOL.

Just going to try and suck it up, I can always walk out (prior to anesthesia, of course)

You are going to be fine!! Your kids are at that age when they are going to be helpful to you. As you see around the forums nobody regrets it (most people). We will be here every step of the way!