Telling about surgery

[clautxs 40]

I told all my family and friends, losing weight is something you can not hide and less if you've always been chubby. I do not want to be giving explanations later, so I told everyone my decision.

[GreenEyes604 753]

OK… Just as Stevhud just said, if I offend you TOUGH, you'll get over it….

On that note @@Stevehud WHO DIED AND MADE YOU GOD??? What in the hell makes you think that you can save the world? Quite frankly, I'm not about to start and do not feel it is my responsibility to "educate" people on weigh loss, or anything associated with it. And just for the record, I'm not hiding a damn thing, nor am I ashamed of my decision to have surgery. My life and my body are just that MINE! I don't owe you or anyone else for that matter any explanation or justification for ANYTHING that I do or decide. THIS IS ABOUT ME!!! Not anyone else!

I do have empathy for everyone in this world that is overweight and struggling with the co-morbidities that come along with obesity, but I have struggles of my own and I'm not about to take on the thoughts, worries, and concerns of everybody else that is suffering just like I am and allow them to suck all the life out of me. Been there, done that, definitely not going on that vacation again!

It seems to me that its very easy for you to sit behind your computer screen and judge whether or not someone is telling a lie or hiding something. SERIOUSLY??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? You are certainly entitled to your opinion, just like everyone else is, but DO NOT sit in judgement of those that do not think like you, feel like you, or talk like you do. Because I choose to not tell everyone my personal business whether they ask me about it or not, does not make me a liar.

You have a very warped and twisted thought process (in my opinion). You come across very strongly as believing that you know everything and you are better than others which is definitely not a good look on you.

Get over yourself! You're no better than anyone else on these boards, and just entertain this thought for a moment… YOU JUST MIGHT BE WRONG!!!

And that's MY OPINION! Deal with it however you see fit.

And to anyone reading this who says that I sound and talk like a very mean person, that's cool and your opinion. You don't know me or anything about me and your approval is not warranted or encouraged.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

...but yes if you were asked how did you lose the weight and you neve mentioned surgery as a helper, you lied, and you failed an opportunity to educate someone on what really happens...people actually back out of having surgery at an alarming rate ... We need to be the people who show that this is necessary, life changing and life giving.

to those i have offended..tough, you can take it.

Yeesh. I finally waded through your wall of text and picked out a few nauseatingly old points to address.

No, I don't share my WLS with everyone and no, that does not make me a liar.

It's not my responsibility to educate people on WLS. Never did I sign a piece of paper or swear an oath taking on that task. I pick and choose who I want to "educate" but even then, I choose what details I want to share with them. Just as it is not my job to preach my faith, my ethics or my morals, it is not my job to preach elective surgery.

People are backing out at am "alarming rate"? Oh the eff well. Not my concern. If they aren't ready, I am certainly not going to be the one to "talk them into it". Again, not my job, not my responsibility, none of my business. This is a decision to be made between an individual, their loved ones and their health care PROFESSIONAL. I don't **NEED** to be anything to anyone but myself and my family.

My best friend is thinking about this surgery and medically, I am sure her doctor has told her she needs to have it. She's unsure and afraid. I will NOT talk her into it, I will not discuss it unless she wants to. This is HER decision 100%. If she were to suffer a complication I don't want that to lay on my conscience.

As for being offended by your words? Snicker. I find your assumptions on my duties amusing at best. It will be a cold day in Hades before I allow a stranger on the internet be my moral and ethical guide.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I don't understand why people can't defend their position without insulting others for theirs. It's at the point now where this thread is just going in circles.

FYI - If you have to start every post with "I'm sorry if this offends..." perhaps you might want to rethink participating in an online support group.

Edited November 24, 2014 by BLERDgirl

[Stevehud 1,790]

I had this big response prepared, but then i realized this said it best.

Denial, aint just a river in Egypt, now is it.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I had this big response prepared, but then i realized this said it best.

Denial, aint just a river in Egypt, now is it.

Well now. You told me, didn't you?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'm going to quote myself from earlier.

It's amusing to me that the only judgmental people in my life about this surgery are those who are also WLS patients on a support board.

HA!

[Stevehud 1,790]

sorry i have to do one more brief one. WHo am I to save the world? We all should save the world, if not us the who? you see any other species doing it? Somehow it's bad that I want to help other people so they don't go through all the things fat people go through? You dont want to help, c'est la vie. I want to help and I will, and to use your words, Greeneyes, who am i to save the world...I am someone who doesnt want people to live in a world of being fat.

Who are you?

[Stevehud 1,790]

No one else can be judgemental about your surgery, since they don't know about it....nah cant be that.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

No one else can be judgemental about your surgery, since they don't know about it....nah cant be that.

I have no idea what you are trying to say here.

[GreenEyes604 753]

@@Stevehud Who am I you ask? I am someone who knows how to mind my own damn business and let other grown folks deal with their own issues.

Obviously something you know nothing about Mr. Save The World… You have fun with that!

Oh wait… hold up a second..., it all came to me just now… Who are you Stevehud? You're that lonely miserable guy who has nothing better to do in life but say stupid things to get attention because you can't get it any other way.

Sorry dude… You can't have my power like that!

sorry i have to do one more brief one. WHo am I to save the world? We all should save the world, if not us the who? you see any other species doing it? Somehow it's bad that I want to help other people so they don't go through all the things fat people go through? You dont want to help, c'est la vie. I want to help and I will, and to use your words, Greeneyes, who am i to save the world...I am someone who doesnt want people to live in a world of being fat.

Who are you?

[Tashabella 52]

An alcoholic or drug addict who has not admitted they have a problem is in "denial."

An obese person who surrendered to the fact that they needed help and got help in the form of surgery is not in denial.

This (surgery) is as real as life gets.

[thesuse2000 698]

Oy... where on earth did I say that anyone had to do things my way? I've actually repeatedly said quite the opposite. For some reason some of you believe that the surgery did not have any impact on your weight loss. That's the only explanation for thinking that an honest answer to the question of how you lost weight does not need to include it. Again, for the 5th time maybe? - I'm not at all saying that everyone needs to give everyone the honest answer. As I said above, I don't always give honest answers to personal questions. I think everyone has the right to fib to protect their privacy. I personally prefer to keep the fibs to a minimum, but that's neither here nor there. What I'm disputing is the stance that there can be an honest answer that doesn't include surgery. And the question I've asked, that no one seems to answer, is - if you honestly feel that your weight loss success is due simply to better eating choices and exercise - than why did you have the surgery? it just doesn't add up.

Not everyone "cares" about it and not everyone feels that way, either.

I'm not "hiding" anything, nor do I "worry" that someone might "find out".

Yeesh! Here we go again. <eyeroll>

IF YOU DON'T DO IT **MY WAY**, YOU ARE DISHONEST!!

It's amusing to me that the only judgmental people in my life about this surgery are those who are also WLS patients on a support board.

HA!

[Stevehud 1,790]

your power?? what the heck are you talking about? Again NO ONE ASKED YOU TO DO ANYTHING!

you thin I want the spotlight? I think you've been blinded by it.

No one wants anything from you! My, as in me, not you , the opposite if you, my wish is that people would educate others on what it takes to go through this surgery so that they will better understand what people go through, and by doing so make it easier for others to make their decision about the surgery rather than DIE! and you have a PROBLEM WITH THAT? Fine I will revise my statement,

EVERYBODY ON THIS THREAD PLEASE READ THIS. I Steven Hudson, WISH that everyone who is asked about the surgery would be able to educate briefly people about what you and others have to go through, so that they may better understand you and others. That is EVERYBODY EXCEPT GreenEyes604.

OK are we done now.

Edited November 14, 2014 by Stevehud

[Stevehud 1,790]

One question Tashabella, if you deny the surgery, doesn't that mean you're in denial? it's kind of the root word and all.

Edited November 14, 2014 by Stevehud