Telling about surgery

[Kindle 8,667]

My family all knew I was having surgery beforehand. I didn't go around and announce it, but my sister and mom managed to tell pretty much everyone I'm related to. Other than their normal concern that I was "going under the knife" Everyone supported my decision. I also told 3 friends beforehand. But again, they mentioned it to dozens of other friends because they didn't think it was a big deal or needed to be kept secret. And after I began losing, there was definitely no hiding it. So when asked about my weight loss I explain about my surgery. I dont do it for anyone's approval, I do it because I'm not comfortable allowing them to think it was just due to exercise and diet. I do it to help reduce the stigma and myths surrounding WLS. People are familiar with bypass and lap band, but almost no one had heard of VSG. But I see dozens of clients everyday so now there are hundreds of people that are better educated about WLS and even about having surgery in Mexico. It feels good to be able to share my story so now they can say "I know someone who had WLS and she looks and feels great!" And I know at least 2 people who have started the process for themselves. Which more than compensates for the 2 (only 2!) negative comments I've gotten.

Edited November 13, 2014 by Kindle

[kimpossible67 608]

Well put Kindle!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I've told a handful of people. I'm not ashamed but I don't share a lot of my personal business with others. So far it hasn't come up because I'm still within the range of what I've been able to lose before. Some of the people that I did tell have shared it with others and when they ask, I'm completely honest about it. I doubt I'll be one of those people who goes into details about it, but that's just me. There are people in my life now who still don't know I had cancer 10 years ago. I think it's important to be honest that WLS gave you the jumpstart in addition to eating right and exercising. It takes the stigma away from it and helps dispel the "she took the easy way" mythology regarding this away.

So in short, I'm not broadcasting about my surgery, but I'm not running away from it either.

[***** 155]

I shared with all my close family. Like @@Kindle I know people who, in turn, told more people. I knew they would before I told them and I was ok with that. I work in a healthcare/educational setting, so it was easy to tell people and no one has been unsupportive. I do find it funny to see individuals at work who haven't seen me in a few weeks and they say, "oh you're back from vacation!" Or "hey how are you feeling?" Im guessing people in my department said different things about my absence while I was out.

I have no qualms about telling anyone nor with not telling. In the end, ima do me.

[Kindle 8,667]

@@GreenEyes604 I think your friend's reason for being so open about his surgery is an unusual one. But good for him...whatever it takes for him to be successful. I'm glad he's out there educating people about the process. People should know weight loss is not always as simple as diet and exercise and that WLS is nothing to be ashamed of. I also know some people that really need the pat on the back thing for everything they do, so I can see where he's coming from. I had a co worker that got all upset one day because no one told her what a good job she did organizing the exam room drawers. Seriously, it became a big issue and we ended up having a staff meeting to talk about "supporting each other" "respecting others feelings". Thank GOD I don't work there anymore!!!

Edited November 13, 2014 by Kindle

[GreenEyes604 753]

@@Kindle Honey I know exactly how you feel. I work with one of those now and she is about to make me lose my religion in here. And the sad part about it is that I seriously don't know if she realizes what she's doing or not. If she doesn't then I really feel sorry for her, but if she does, she's a sick, twisted individual.

[juls0102 33]

I have been very open about having the surgery. I'm only 5 weeks out, so there's not a HUGE difference yet, but I'm a teacher and everyone knows at my school. I told my students I had "stomach surgery" and left it at that.

My surgeon told my mom that people who have a diseased appendix, have it removed, people who have a diseased gall bladder have it removed, some people have stomachs that don't work properly or are "diseased" and they need help to get to a healthy weight. That really stuck with me. I have 2 boys that I need to keep up with and I want to be healthy for them. I have tried every diet, hypnotherapy, counseling, and acupuncture. I feel like I made a great decision to get my life back. =) When something good happens to me, I want to use that to help other people. =)

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I look at it this way. Years ago people who would have nose jobs or boobs jobs would remain silent about. Some would say it was makeup or they had a deviated septum, or they were working out more. Truth is for a lot of people they had something about themselves they wanted to change and did so. Now these procedures are more common place and people are often more open about it. I feel the same way about my WLS. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed that I did it. With the health issues I have it was something I needed to do for my quality of life. Now I may not go around shouting it from the roof tops, but I'm not shying away from it either.

[GreenEyes604 753]

@kimpossible67 Unless I missed something, you didn't say anything to offend me.

@thesuse2000 I was slightly offended by your comment, and your apology is accepted However, this is a situation that we will have to agree to disagree on, and that's ok too!

[HaddocksEyes 205]

I am respectful of all three approaches - (1) tell everyone; (2) tell only certain people or groups of people; or (3) tell no one. We all have different life stories and our approach will be the one that works best for our individual needs.

We should be careful about attempting to box in a definition for "truth" when coupling that with someone's experiences - truth is relative and not always cut and dried.

I'm totally open with this surgery with family but not co-workers because I just don't want my personal business broadcasted over and over again. I work with some very gossipy and bitchy females and I just don't have time to deal with the drama, which I can assure you would raise its ugly head.

[BaseballMamma 17]

Only 2 people know that I have had it. My husband... and my best friend who is a critical care nurse, that also had the sleeve done a year & 1/2 ago. My own son, mother, grandmother, co-workers.. no one knows. I did have hernias repaired during surgery and that's what I tell them I had done. Period.

Around here, surgery is looked at, as the easy way out. As if it isn't terrifying and a struggle. And also, I don't want everyone watching & judging me daily. This is mine.. and I want to keep it that way. I lost 55 lbs all on my own, in about 5 months before I ever even thought about having this done or contacted a dr. I worked my butt off and ate right.. then I hit a huge plateau and could never get past it. So everyone knows how long and hard I have slowly been losing. I will just keep on working hard at it.

[Tashabella 52]

There are people I told at work and just a handful that I didn't. The reasons I didn't is one person is really nosy and pushy when it comes to weight loss and I don't want her following me around all of the time watching what I eat and asking me a hundred questions.

The other two are supervisors who have been jerks to me. I would tell them if I broke my arm because I don't like them and don't want them involved in my personal life. If you know certain people are not supportive or will be nosy and pushy, then you know whether or not you are better off not inviting them into your business by telling them. The same people, I don't ask them their business either. I honor their choice to tell me what they want and they should honor mine.

I'm not ashamed and I don't think bariatric surgery is anything to be ashamed of. I have an all new respect for it.

[Kindle 8,667]

- truth is relative and not always cut and dried.

Are you an attorney?!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I've never worried about someone judging me, that's just who I am. I'm also good about shutting down a conversation if I don't want to share any further. One person texted me asking if I had surgery. I said yes and kept it moving. No need to explain anything further. Then again I've always been a take no crap type of gal.

[Stevehud 1,790]

I do love this topic so I will chime in. some people will take it personally but anyway. First off here is a great idea, lets stop calling it WLS or weight loss surgery. the surgery does not lose weight you do! if you have a knew replaced its called knee replacement surgery, not im running surgery. if we can stop calling it weight loss surgery and instead call it bariatric surgery, maybe just maybe people will stop hiding it. I know why people hide it, and whether they want to be honest with themselves or not is fine with me. It's your own mental well being that makes you want to do it that way. The man who said he was open because he wanted validation, well guess what, that is the same reason why people hide the surgery, they believe if they do the work, the surgery will get the credit if they tell people. So they don't tell people, then they feel they are the ones getting the credit for the weight loss. When indeed you should be anyway!