Telling about surgery

[kimpossible67 608]

I've read so many posts about sleevers not wishing to tell anyone about their surgery and being offended when they ask. I've been extremely open. Through testing everyone knew every step I was taking. I'm not ashamed. In fact I've inspired many. My Facebook is filled with friends and family who ALL support me. They cheer at my success and beg for more pictures.

It's been a very positive decision. I've never had anyone say anything even remotely unkind. I got 14 inches of hair cut off and I told the hairstylist about my surgery. She completely stopped what she was doing and asked me to tell her about it as she was considering the band or the bypass. She had never heard of the sleeve.

I believe my openness has helped open some doors for several people. Even my 13 yr old nephew was questioning the dynamics of the surgery and how I eat now.

Everyone makes a personal decision to tell/not tell. I just wanted to share how my decision has effected my journey.

[julie2145 2]

I felt the same way as you! I have been open about my decision and most everyone has been supportive! I mean, people will see me lose weight and ask how.....I'm certainly not going to lie. I too think if I can help someone then it is worth it! I have nothing to be ashamed of!

[GreenEyes604 753]

I am one of those people who isn't telling. There are only 2 people who know about my decision. One is my daughter (because she lives with me), and a very dear friend who had the surgery a little over a year ago and is my sounding board.

I'm not ashamed by any means of the decision that I have made to have WLS, I'm just a very private about my personal life. If someone asks me I won't lie about it, I'll just say that I am eating less, exercising, and eating healthy which is all 100% true. Anything past that I really feel is no one's business but mine.

My friend Grant who had the surgery a year ago was completely transparent to everyone he came in contact with that he was having the surgery, and kept everyone informed step-by-step during his process from day one until today. He posts pictures all the time, how much he's lost, and everything he does. He is so opposite from me in that regard, and I asked him why did handled it that way. His response to me kinda shocked me, but I totally understood where he was coming from. He said that he tells everyone everything because he needs the validation from others that he's doing a good job, and looks great in order to stay motivated.

I don't know, maybe because I've always been a self-starter I've never really needed the approval or validation from others about what I do. I've never needed the "pat on the back" for a job well done, or other types of accolades. I just do what I do, and I love doing it, and I'm proud of me for doing a great job.

Maybe I'm just weird!

Edited November 11, 2014 by GreenEyes604

[Jill7768 46]

I, too, have become very open about my decision. I originally thought that I was going to keep my decision to my immediate family but thinking of ways to explain my 2 week absence from work and then eventual weight loss was weighing (pardon the pun) on me. I am such an open, honest person that is was just easier for me. So far everyone has been supportive. I am sure some don't agree but they have kept those opinions to themselves. I truly hope that I am so successful that I can be a mentor to friends who might want to go this route.

[kimpossible67 608]

I, too, have become very open about my decision. I originally thought that I was going to keep my decision to my immediate family but thinking of ways to explain my 2 week absence from work and then eventual weight loss was weighing (pardon the pun) on me. I am such an open, honest person that is was just easier for me. So far everyone has been supportive. I am sure some don't agree but they have kept those opinions to themselves. I truly hope that I am so successful that I can be a mentor to friends who might want to go this route.

Exactly, mentoring. I have MS, I've shared that also, I don't dwell on it or whine about it but I have helped several people cope because I choose to be open. I also am open about depression, again I help others. Am I looking for validation? No. My personality is to help others even when I'm suffering. So if my experiences can help just ONE person, I'm doing what I was put on this earth to do. I'm not a show off, and I'm not cocky. I'm just very very grateful to have been given these situations in life so I might help someone else.

[kimpossible67 608]

There's one telltale sign of bariatric surgery I've picked up on. The neck. From the rapid weight loss the neck tends to tell the tale. The chins end up going first!

[thesuse2000 698]

Totally with you. For me, I feel relieved not to feel that I'm hiding a secret, and worrying that people will find out. That would be a negative factor in my life that I don't need. But of course not everyone cares about that.

[thesuse2000 698]

If someone asks you how you lost weight - you feel that saying you did it by eating less/healthier and exercising is an honest answer? If you could have comparable success by doing those things without surgery - why did you have surgery?

I'm not saying everyone needs to tell. You're entitled to withold information about your private life. But I just don't get those who defend this as being completely honest. It just isn't. There's more to your success than you're telling. Again - that's fine, but it is what it is.

I am one of those people who isn't telling. There are only 2 people who know about my decision. One is my daughter (because she lives with me), and a very dear friend who had the surgery a little over a year ago and is my sounding board.

I'm not ashamed by any means of the decision that I have made to have WLS, I'm just a very private about my personal life. If someone asks me I won't lie about it, I'll just say that I am eating less, exercising, and eating healthy which is all 100% true. Anything past that I really feel is no one's business but mine.

My friend Grant who had the surgery a year ago was completely transparent to everyone he came in contact with that he was having the surgery, and kept everyone informed step-by-step during his process from day one until today. He posts pictures all the time, how much he's lost, and everything he does. He is so opposite from me in that regard, and I asked him why did handled it that way. His response to me kinda shocked me, but I totally understood where he was coming from. He said that he tells everyone everything because he needs the validation from others that he's doing a good job, and looks great in order to stay motivated.

I don't know, maybe because I've always been a self-starter I've never really needed the approval or validation from others about what I do. I've never needed the "pat on the back" for a job well done, or other types of accolades. I just do what I do, and I love doing it, and I'm proud of me for doing a great job.

Maybe I'm just weird!

[GreenEyes604 753]

@thesuse2000 You are totally entitled to your opinion, I just happen to totally disagree with you. I don't understand why you feel that I am not being honest because I'm not divulging every piece of information about what I'm doing. Nothing I said was untrue, but it sounds to me like if I don't give someone all the details that I'm telling a lie which to me is totally ridiculous.

You may not agree with the way others think and view things, but I would caution you about the way the words that you use come out. I'm not hear to judge you, but I don't take to kindly to being called a liar, and that's exactly how you came across.

And that's MY opinion!

Edited November 11, 2014 by GreenEyes604

[Crystal88 85]

I've been very open about my procedure. There are three women in the office I work in who have had it done, and I went to them with questions and concerns about everything, even when I was nervous about certain tests I had to get done, and each of them shared their own story of what requirements they did and didn't do, compared to myself. One of those women even covered three of my days have I took.

I worked until the very day before my surgery, and I had so many people telling me they were very excited for me and my new start of a new life. Nothing but positiveness from people at work; even my boss told me he was happy for me and that I deserve the surgery.

This surgery is something I've wanted for at least 10 year, so there was no way I was going to keep my mouth quiet about something so exciting.

[kimpossible67 608]

Green eyes, I meant no disrespect and if you feel I did I sincerely apologize. It's just such a visual, in your face, quicker than lightening way of losing weight. I've been on every diet as we all have and never did I lose so quickly as I have with the sleeve. While it seems we are being private, people aren't stupid. Only one thing causes such rapid weight loss and that is surgery. And that is just MY opinion.

[claudi2103 35]

Green eyes I honestly think it is your rite to not need to let anyone know what you have done because I too have only a few people and that is close family who actually know what it done and I'm not ashamed of my decision on having wls but I also feel that it is a personal thing that I don't need to tell the whole world about..when I'm asked on how my weight is coming off I simply reply that I've been exercising and eating

a whole lot healthier and that is also the truth,I'm just not telling everyone about my wls and that is my business???? and good luck to everyone on their journey whether to disclose the fact of wls or not????

Edited November 11, 2014 by claudi2103

[thesuse2000 698]

Wow. I get that my post was confrontational, but I was not attacking you personally or calling you names. Apologies if that's how it came across.

To be clear, I do not think everyone who tells a nontruth is overall a liar or a bad person. I certainly lie in various situations when it won't hurt anyone and makes social situations smoother or protects my privacy. Examples: Oh, I'd love to come to your party, but I've got plans that night. Where did I get this necklace? It was a gift (when I don't want to say that I bought it on overstock.com for $9.99.) Or (from when I was single) - thanks, but I'm seeing someone right now.

I've said numerous times that you're free to not tell - and you're free to tell people whatever you want in response to questions about your weight loss. I just truly don't understand the claim that excluding surgery from your story is still truth. People who diet succeed about 1-5% of the time. People who get bariatric surgery succeed dramatically more than that. I know for certain that I could NEVER have lost close to 80 pounds in under 5 months without this surgery.

I won't continue to belabor the point. I just have a basic disagreement with what you are claiming to be truth. Again - that is not a judgment against you personally, just a dispute with the merits of your argument.

@thesuse2000 You are totally entitled to your opinion, I just happen to totally disagree with you. I don't understand why you feel that I am not being honest because I'm not divulging every piece of information about what I'm doing. Nothing I said was untrue, but it sounds to me like if I don't give someone all the details that I'm telling a lie which to me is totally ridiculous.

You may not agree with the way others think and view things, but I would caution you about the way the words that you use come out. I'm not hear to judge you, but I don't take to kindly to being called a liar, and that's exactly how you came across.

And that's MY opinion!

[llmccay1 24]

I haven't been open about wls with everyone. The people I work with knew, some earlier than others. Close friends and family knew.

As for everyone else, I just didn't want to go into it with my clients, etc. I tend to keep my personal life low key. That being said, as my weight loss becomes more apparent, if anyone asks I will not hide the fact that I had wls. Just didn't want it to be the constant topic of conversation before it happened.

[dw40 6]

I am 50/50, I have told several people. But for other people just know I am having a procedure, for now anyway. I assume they think I am having some kind of female procedure.

I have been very blessed to receive support. The worst thing someone said was - oh, ok. And if that's the worst then ok The best 2 were my friend who said, wow, you've been going through a lot & gave me a hug. And my dad, more hugs than I have got in my whole life - he also asked me to plan the family foods at our big get together, so that I could have the right things & everybody loved the salad & Protein meals.

The lady I volunteer with doesn't know details but knows that I have medical reasons to eat specific foods& times.