Scared to death.....

[deftonestiffany 17]

Hi everyone,

I am coming to ask all who has been sleeved if my fears are irrational or not normal. did you have these same fears?

I am so scared of not waking up after surgery

I am scared the surgery wont work.

I am scared I will wake up and for whatever reason, come to find out the docs had to stop surgery and I am not sleeved.

I am scared that after going thru surgery, my body will just have a major freak out and I will have a heart attack and die or that my body wont like the changed and just give out.

I have paroxysmal atrial fibrillation (heart arrhythmia that causes the heart to quiver instead of beat. It can cause blood to pool in the atria of the heart which rises my chance of stroke by 5 fold. I have an "attack" about once a year. otherwise im fine). my cardiologist has cleared me for surgery. I have zero other health issues. I am 28, and very healthy. im just obese with my a-fib. I have never smoked and my last alcoholic drink I had was when I was 19. (not one word of a lie). for a big person I have oretty good stamina when it comes to exercise also.

my cardiologist wrote a clearance letter for my surgeons and anesthesiologists. in the letter is says :

"Aliesha's chances for serious perioperative cardiac complication is 1% and her Lee Index for a serious post operative cardiac complication is 0.4% equivalent to low"

I know that pretty much sums up that I should be ok for surgery, but I cant help now that surgery is 2 weeks away, be absolutely terrified. TERRIFIED. I just want to live a life where I am healthy, lighter, and free from this prison. But I have to ask..........what is the risk? is it worth it??

Any insight would be much appreciated. Thank you.

[BeagleLover 1,020]

A friend of main had atrial fibrillation. They fitted her for a pacemaker that detects when there is a problem and gives the heart a tiny jolt to right things again. She had it put in around a month ago and will be sleeved around the end of November.

[Recycled 2,182]

I think you need to fill that glass a little more than half way so you can lean toward the side of " the glass half full".

You're just putting way too much negative thought into this. Fear of the unknown is the biggest factor in being scared.

Read as much as you can about the surgery and the success stories on here. Go to a bariatric support group meeting and talk to those that have been trough it. If they can do it, you can too. And the rewards are life changing. Think about that. Keep asking questions and getting informed. You'll do fine.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I think that it is not normal to not be scared of this life changer. Going through all the what ifs and maybes and could or might is all part of it. But it can drive you bonkers to spend so much time on this aspect. It will be what it is. Prepare yourself by getting as much information as possible on the surgery of your choice.

Make an educated decision and decide what you will do in the what if part. Other then that make a list of all the things you want to do and change and enjoy in the future. Once you are there it is go time.

I was one of those not so normal girls who did not have any fear at all. Could not wait...But as I look back I did not have all the facts I needed.

Still I look back and am very glad I did it and would not change my decision for anything...

You got this!

Edited November 10, 2014 by RJ'S/beginning

[Essence46 493]

It's normal to feel the way you do. I think we are all afraid of the "what ifs". I agree with recycled... you should try and look more at the glass being half full as opposed to half empty. Even though fear is expected, at some point, I believe you have to find peace in your decision. For me, I prayed about it and prayed about it. A couple of weeks out from my surgery date, I found peace in my decision which made it so much easier for me. I woke up the morning of my surgery excited!! One thing I didn't do was read any stories dealing with complications, anything going wrong, etc. For me, I carry so much in my spirit. I felt anything negative would have too much of an affect on me. Wishing you the best. You will be fine. *hugs*

[Elode 8,093]

@@deftonestiffany It's normal to be scared I think we all Probably where but how hard is it on your heart to be overweight? Do your research and you will make the best choice for you

[Rogofulm 2,440]

As long as you've done your research and know what you're getting into, it makes sense to feel apprehensive, but no panicky. All of us were nervous right before surgery. I think most of our last thoughts as they started the anesthesia was, "I can still back out of thi.......zzzzzzz." See you on the other side!!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I can't speak to your medical conditions, but I think your fear is normal, to be expected and just shows you have good sense!

now, I think the things I worried the most about where probably the least of my worries in hindsight. Truth is most of us come out of surgery just fine and have very little actual serious problems (of course if you do get a complication, the statistics don't matter, but most of us DON'T experience those things)

What most of us will experience is the emotional ups and downs of rapid weight loss, not being able to use food for whatever emotional reasons, the changes in our personal relationships... the facing of life at maintenance (oh the thrill is gone and yet the work is still there!)

[deftonestiffany 17]

thank you guys. im usually always a "glass half full" kinda gal. but ive never had surgery before so I don't know what to expect and I feel that sometimes I don't even deserve to be thin (ive let my weight turn me into such a bitter person!..) ut I know that I am making the right decision, all the signs point to it!

I will continue to read success stories and do my research. I know this will be super challenging and your advice will surely help me get through and prepare me for what is to come I appreciate all of your words of wisdom and experience! thank you

[Murphy'sMama 20]

Hi - jumping in as well... when i got the approval call, all i do do was walk around saying Holy $hit !!! am I really gonna do this ???... that went on for three weeks until day of Surgery.

I will tell you from my own experience.. I used the 6 months waiting time to SCOUR the Web / Facebook / Articles for information about this Life Changing decision..

let's face it.. we all know it is SURGERY... But.. if you do your homework, pass the required tests.. I can ONLY SPEAK FOR MYSELF... was I scared ? Hell Yeah !! Do I regret it.. ? Not for ONE Effin' MINUTE !!

Sleeved August 4th 2014 - HW 265 / SW 246 / CW 198 .. I am in Onederland... The best decision of my life.. my only regret is that i did not do it sooner.

I wish you all the best for whatever decision you make...just remember, you are NOT alone.. we are all in the same boat.

[*Lexie* 1,486]

All this fear and anticipation is worse than recovery will be. At least that's the way I felt. Once surgery was over, I felt like I made it past the hard part.

P.S. I'm still afraid surgery won't work and I'll be a big failure. Unfortunately they don't cut out irrational fears when they cut out our stomachs...

[Sleeve101 72]

I'm going in a couple of weeks too - I'm scared to death too! Prayers for both of us! I'm going to Dr. Curiel in Tijuana Mexico - so I'm double scared!!!

[Cococat 119]

Like almost everyone here, I was scared too.

But I just kept thinking about how much I have suffered with my weight - the pain of not looking as good as everyone else - the looks that waiters gave me in restaurants - not being able to walk gracefully. The pain of carrying all this unwanted weight finally outweighed (pardon the pun) my fears. I could not eat anything in public for fear of other people wondering why I ordered anything other than a salad. I was not enjoying my life, so the quality of my life was zero. What kind of life did I have?

You are a young woman. Your skin will still have its elasticity. You will look and feel more beautiful as men suddenly approach you. Just the other day, my husband and I went to an orchid show. I walked ahead, and suddenly, a guy came over to me and started talking about orchids. He was about 40. I am 67 friggin' years old! Men are visual. If they like what they see, they will let you know. When my husband came over we politely said it was nice to have met and walked away.

Another thing: A friend of mine told me that if we are cleared for surgery, the doctors in the U.S. do not want to ruin their own statistics by having you die, either. If they really did not think you could do it, they would not let you anywhere near an operating table for their own sakes.

This advice is for people having their surgery in the U.S only, as I cannot vouch for doctors, statistics and risks, and follow-ups in Mexico.

Post surgery, I babied myself like crazy. Do not let people influence you as to what kind of exercise is proper or when to do it. Your surgeon's staff and support group and nutritionist will be your experts. (Some jerk bragged here that he or she went skydiving a couple of months post-op. Not my thing.)

If you are too frightened to get the surgery - you have not suffered enough as a fat woman. Wait a while until the pain, anguish and misery of being fat is worse than the thought of death. Nice though, heh?

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

Wait a while until the pain, anguish and misery of being fat is worse than the thought of death. Nice though, heh?

Harsh, but true. You can DO this!

[chellede 352]

Lets cut to the point here (as I say with full compassion). Yup ! You're right ! Any of those things can happen.

The likely hood? Very very remote. Just like going to the store. You can get killed in the car, you can get killed if a rack falls, you can get killed if someone holds up the store, or MILLIONS and MILLIONS of reasons.

Sweetie, your'e normal !!! I was the same. I have lung problems. I had those thoughts. Look at the thousands of people who use this board. They all went through it, and woke up to tell about it. And they are doing well in their weightloss.

YOU GOT THIS ! You are in control of your life and you are doing this for you !!!! Go get em Tiger